lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

吃相

(旧著)

我一直都认为个人的身体语言 (Body Language )是很重要的。老人家一直强调人要 “坐有坐相、吃有吃相”。

一个人一天大概会吃早、午、晚三餐吧。当然有些人会如我一般吃上四五餐,这不是贪吃,而是 “能吃就是福”。

有些人吃东西专门讲究艺术,一小口一小口的咀嚼,小心翼翼地吞下去。吃完一餐后,嘴上连一点油迹什么的都不会留在唇边。

另外有些人吃东西总会张开狮口大嘴,狼吞虎咽,仿佛吃慢一点便会输给人似的。我最怕和那些吃东西时,嘴里传来 “嗒嗒”的恐怖声的人同桌吃饭。

感觉上,男人吃东西似乎比女人来得粗鲁,直至那天让我碰上了我不想见的情形,才让我发觉原来女人吃东西的时候,那吃相有时比男人还要糟。

那天吃午餐时,见到一窈窕淑女正在吃鸡饭。长长的秀发、明亮的双眼,正与同事暗里称赞她长得还不错,却见她以手一把抓起鸡翅膀而往嘴里塞。天!!!她似乎不懂叉是做什么用的;当我和同事正双双摇着头之际,见到她把骨头吐了出来,接着以手指往嘴里挖,看来是在清除那塞在牙缝之间的鸡肉吧。我的妈!眼镜差点没从我的脸上掉下来。

为了不使我们的食欲受影响,我们哥儿俩赶紧换一个位置,眼不见为净。

换了位置后,对面坐着一名女子正与她的朋友在吃水果,只见她以那白嫩的手拿着一枝牙签刺着一片西瓜往樱桃小嘴送。

嘴巴一张、一咬,一幅令人倒胃的景象马上进入我眼里。那位小姐似乎忘了西瓜是一种水份充足的水果,只见那西瓜汁从她涂着一层厚厚唇膏的嘴唇流了下去,更分成两三路往下淌。

那小姐反应出奇的快,只见她举起另一只白嫩的手,以手背往下巴一抹,马上污迹消失,比 Dynamo “特力沫”还快!

嘴巴不错是很干净,却忘了那些汁液已“移民”到她的手背上去了。

连续目睹两宗淑女的吃相,我和同事马上逃之夭夭,赶回办公室里去吹冷气。

以后每次去餐厅用餐总会眼看八方,避免再次见到那两名淑女。

阿弥陀佛,善哉善哉!别让我又吃不下饭。

=====

2006 后语 :

年少、狂妄、浮燥。

以现在的心态肯定不会写下这类文章。。。

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14 Comments:

  • At Thursday, August 17, 2006 8:23:00 PM , Blogger 蓝月 said...

    i was once having lunch with friends at NTU Canteen A after a lecture.

    Opposite us, a group of guys, according to their dressing, i assumed to be from Engin. They each bought this large plate of mixed vegetables rice, and then as if never eaten for a long time, they started gobbling down the food.

    Gobbling, frankly, is an understatement. but i lack in vocabulary, sorry.

    gross. really. i was totally grossed out. i lost all appetite.

     
  • At Thursday, August 17, 2006 10:27:00 PM , Blogger Kenny Ng said...

    I saw the same thing happen here too, really disguisting la! Some while eating n still taking until the foods from their mouth flies out.

     
  • At Friday, August 18, 2006 12:44:00 AM , Anonymous ling_n_pebble said...

    Hi Mr.Lim!

    I read your Chinese post.., don understand though. But.., no prob..let me translate to you ya.

    ..Wo yi..blah, blah, blah..Ren..blah, blah..(body language) blah, blah..blah..Ren.., blah..Yi..blah..

    ..Yi.., blah..Ren Yi...blah, blah..Ta..blah..blah..Yi Siow Kou Yi Siow Kou De..blah..blah!! Ain't I'm good, Mr.Lim?!? Ohh, I've learnt a new hokkien/teochew word.. "Ang Gong Kia" (Doll)..sounds cute to me though. Like..Ang your Gong and Kia!..hehehe..donno, what's the meaning, but I like it!..Yeah!

    Howdy? I owed you a curry meal. Regards to your Ang G..eh, I mean your missus! Have fun ya! ;-D

    Regards,
    Ling~

     
  • At Friday, August 18, 2006 9:05:00 AM , Blogger yanzzz said...

    wa biang
    i have had a decade of yrs never read chinese .. heng ar every single words u wrote i still know how to read ..

    true la.. who the hell tell u tat all FEMALEs eat so "shi wen ly"
    its u nv seem b4 not dun exsist ..
    imagine they eat eat KFC..
    using fork ? wont it b a commdy act?

    hahahah =p

     
  • At Friday, August 18, 2006 9:19:00 AM , Blogger Sunflower said...

    hmmmm, actually hor, it is really not very convenient to eat chicken, crab, prawn, chicken feet, etc in the public.

    Yes, we know there is fork but sometimes not very shiok eating this kind of food using culteries.

    And yes, image is very impt to me too. That woman should have used her hand to remove the meat from the bone.

    And well, sometimes it is still lack of satifaction after finishing the meat, as the bone still left unattended. (ha, I like to chew the bone. hehe, normally I dont do it when I am eating in the public.)

    Nevertheless, I guess the woman is trying to enjoy her food to the fullest.

    Uncle beng, next time hor, you dont look around la. Look at your food can le.

    *GRIN*

     
  • At Friday, August 18, 2006 9:55:00 AM , Blogger 阿恺 said...

    哈哈!讲真的,要有淑女的吃相还真的是很高难度。就拿吃鸡腿,或是鸡翅膀而言,用叉和刀真的是很费功夫,可是想想如果用手用好像很不好意思。。。 所以,阿恺每次点菜时,都尽量不要点那些特别难搞得肉类。

    至于用牙签,阿恺没有这个习惯。不过女生都应该在包包内放一面小镜子,用完餐后应该照一照,不然牙缝里塞满那些渣,就算你的樱桃小嘴在怎么性感也是没用的,因为很倒胃口。如果真的用牙签,那就到一个小角落或是厕所,毕竟在男人面前用牙签挑牙缝,什么形象都没啦!

     
  • At Friday, August 18, 2006 10:49:00 AM , Blogger 顽皮鸟 said...

    我倒是怕见到与女孩子说话时看见她的嘴里还残留着菜,不大雅观。

    haha,hahaha.....

     
  • At Friday, August 18, 2006 12:33:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    蓝月
    Hmmm, seems that males do eat more terok-ly than females. Many really just SHOVE the food down their throats with their mouths open BIG BIG.

    Kenny Ng
    You very heng leh, still can see food flying out from their mouths whahahahahahaha

    Ling
    Wahahahaha, you surely improved a lot, now you can understand more of my Chinese post :)

    Yes indeed, Ang Gong Kia is a cute word, who taught you that?

    Of course me still remember the curry meal but you know, that santa is still somewhere in China, we shall wait for him, hopefully before Christmas.

    Yanzzz
    Yeah, now me realised that some females do eat like males.

    Sunflower
    Yeah I agree. Sometimes eating food like chicken wings, crabs, etc must use hand if not, cannot enjoy to the fullest.

    Eh... me seldom see girl girl one la. =_=""" (cha-bo-lang reading)

    阿恺
    所以,阿恺每次点菜时,都尽量不要点那些特别难搞得肉类...
    那妳不是会错过许多美食?除非妳“打包”回家吃。

    打疯狗
    不只不大雅观,简直是会倒胃口。

     
  • At Friday, August 18, 2006 3:36:00 PM , Blogger 子非魚 said...

    對我來說﹐有時後﹐不用手不是因為要斯文﹐用叉的原因還有一個﹕懶惰。

    因為如果用手﹐可能手一定不太乾淨。

    可以洗了手才吃呀﹖懶惰。

    所以﹐用叉﹐乾淨利落。

    又不必吃玩了又要洗手。(不要告訴我可以偷偷抹在桌布﹐yeak!)

    (因為這樣還被一起吃飯的朋友囉嗦過﹐不過﹐還好手是長在我身上﹐她們奈我何﹖)

    當然﹐可以不必吃是更好的…

     
  • At Friday, August 18, 2006 3:40:00 PM , Blogger 子非魚 said...

    錯字改正﹕

    1。“時候”-不是“時後”。
    2。“吃完”-不是“吃玩”。

     
  • At Friday, August 18, 2006 6:41:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    子非鱼
    You said: "當然﹐可以不必吃是更好的…"

    Of course cannot don´t eat la. 民以食为天 ma. Must eat more.

     
  • At Saturday, August 19, 2006 1:02:00 AM , Blogger 蓝月 said...

    其实,用手吃,也可以很可爱的。要看你怎么吃。

     
  • At Saturday, August 19, 2006 9:42:00 AM , Anonymous 兽医 said...

    2006 后语 :

    年少、狂妄、浮燥。

    以现在的心态肯定不会写下这类文章。。。

    老明的后语的确是领悟了人生道理,可喜可喜!如还是看不开的话,还真有点说不过去。一生中,有多少事情能顺你意?太在意别人的短处,反而不快乐。别忘了老一辈的人还有这些‘三轮车夫’的吃相,‘肯德基’还鼓励人们用手劳动。就算有刀叉提供,全都是塑胶料,叉一下就短了,还是用手好!

    以你现在的心态看完了兽医的留言是否又觉得兽医在找咂?还是在交流?语无伦次?哈哈哈!兽医已经大概分析出你接下来的几种反应。

     
  • At Saturday, August 19, 2006 11:46:00 AM , Blogger old beng said...

    蓝月
    You are absolutely right :)

    兽医
    Welcome welcome, please drop by more often with your constructive comments :)

    * Have to post in English cos weekend no chinese function available.

     

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