lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

The Lift

lim peh ka li kong

Nowadays Singapore has got so many high high buildings, the lift has become an inevitable machine to many of us. 90% of the people stay in HDB flats (don't know my stats correct or not, just agaration only) and again lifts are been used daily for those who stay at the higher floor.

For Old Beng me, my office is located on the 18th storey so bo bian everyday got to take lift up to my office . Actually me tried climbing up the stairs everyday but because me always reach my office building on time so if I climb stairs so late one.

Taking the lift everyday so me can say just like everybody taking lift will know the different types of passengers in the little trapped cubicle behaved.

Many times, we will see some kiasu people standing at the entrance of the lift and refused to move their golden butts in (yeah, just like some people taking bus). There is still enough space for them to shift inward a bit so more people can take the lift especially in the morning when everyone is rushing to the office. You know la, workers who have bosses who come in early one must make sure don't reach office late. These people just refuse to move, why I don't understand la, maybe after they saw the movie "The Eye" so they scared got ghost inside.

Usually when I see that there is indeed more space at the back of the lift but the people standing in front don't want to move in, me will surely say," Excuse me hor, move in can, inside got some more space." and squeeze myself in. Normally the girls will automatically move in and avoid Old Beng.

Got one time a man (the long sleeves with tie type) refused to move his royal butt in further despite there was still a lot of space. I just moved in and stood face to face with him with a mere distance gap of maybe 2 inches and stared at him until he bo bian got to move away from me. I purposely licked my lips and think he darn scared I accidentally lost balance and kiss him on his lips, wahahahaha.

Sometimes, I went into the lift first and automatically I will move right into the back to provide more space for others. Those OL standing in front one always don't want to press the lift buttons, just stand there "pai" pose like model like that.

One thing I find it very wield, every time when we are in the lift, we will automatic either look up to the ceiling of the lift or look down on the flooring or if not will be a total blank look, only very lucky then you can see one smiling face.

I ever kena one time got into the lift during lunch time with about 15 girl girl inside, wa-piang, I tell you man, so noisy cos the girl girl all talked non-stop and from my 18th storey, the stupid lift stopped at almost every level. Just like the old saying, when there are girls, there sure to be noise; When there are men, there sure to be smoke;

lim peh kong wan liao


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  • At Thursday, October 27, 2005 2:30:00 PM , Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

    ahahahhaha buatahan.... nice post about lifts!!!

    if anyone stand too near me, i sure elbow them one...wahahahahah

    oh ya u should on ur word verificaiton to avoid spammers ;)

  • At Thursday, October 27, 2005 2:36:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    kam siah for your I mean advice on spammers. think I am too lazy to do so but I will definitely delete spams comments :)

  • At Thursday, October 27, 2005 2:51:00 PM , Blogger lau hero said...

    So oldbeng if u get in the lift first, walk right in dun press which floor u want, u c pples come in later waiting for whoever pressing the floor button n ask, those stand there pai post one juz bua bodok..... try tis u dun press the floor n if others dun do that also, juz wait in the lift n got no up no dwn situation until others press for lift outside n door open, wow y like that, it's fun, try it with so many in the lift.

    It always the case I wait u, u wait him, he wait her end up the lift is not moving n u can c faces change n mumbling, that's one view I tried b4...FUN Man try it. expecially town high rise bldg.

  • At Thursday, October 27, 2005 2:54:00 PM , Blogger ipromise said...

    Beng, I encountered a scary incident in a lift many years ago. I was working in an office on the 40th floor in this 50 story building in town. One nite, I was working late and left the office around midnite. The lift came and I got in, but instead of going down, it went to the top floor. When the doors opened, a girl with long hair and dressed in white came in, and I felt a chilling wind as well. I felt like getting out of the lift but it was too late, the lift door closed and started to descend. She was standing in front of me and I was hoping she would not turn around. Suddenly, the lift stopped and the lights went out. I then noticed a strange and awful smell. I was too scared to move or say anything. After a while, the lights came back on but the girl was not in front of me anymore. I started to turn white and had a strong feeling she was now standing behind me. Trembling, I somehow managed to turn around. Sure enough, she was standing behind me, and with a shy smile, she said: “Sorry, I farted”

  • At Thursday, October 27, 2005 2:59:00 PM , Blogger lau hero said...

    One more 4 u to try, u act u thkg of somethg very hard to get by, pretend talking to urself and plus some handsign action, must act fierce and angry, u'll get 2 ur floor faster, try it if u rushing for time.

    wah hahaha n if u get to go Hougang for holiday dun said I teach u, ok? deal.

  • At Thursday, October 27, 2005 3:06:00 PM , Blogger 孺子牛 said...

    which building is that?
    I used to tell pple off when they are blocking my exit from the lift.

    Can you move yourself out from the lift so that I go out? Don't be a wooden block blocking my way.

    Nasty, probably yes, emperor's style.

  • At Thursday, October 27, 2005 3:13:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Yuh? how you know I am gonna write something about Fart?

    I really like your scary encounter but then hor, the cha-no swee bo? chio bo?

    Lau hero
    Thanks but no thanks.

    你试埋我個份啦, you think I really 黐线?

    lau qin
    You very "pai" hor but I like it :)

  • At Thursday, October 27, 2005 8:58:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Next time you wake up earlier..take the stairs instead.Train up your calves..yeah..,even if your office is on the 50th flr. :P


  • At Thursday, October 27, 2005 10:13:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    wau lau a,don't u pple think old beng is a gay??!!Even though i find that he is married but still got possbile to be a gay!!!if ever someone stood near me i sure give him some surprise...hahaha

  • At Thursday, October 27, 2005 10:38:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    i m like the lift lady..

    always stand near to the lift button.. and will ask which floor pple wan to go too..

    haha i m too helpful =P

  • At Friday, October 28, 2005 9:38:00 AM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    I always try to sleep earlier but end up sleeping late and I always try to wake up early but also end up late. Think majority are like that, the bed is too comfortable to leave especially in the morning.

    du gu wu ti
    kam siah for reading my blog but no you are wrong. I am one-way traffic only not a 万能插头 (multi-purpose plug).

    How thoughtful of you :)

  • At Friday, October 28, 2005 10:19:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Oh! if a young and handsome boy around, i will stand near him provided he got no gf beside, but first must lower my front ...seduction at it very best.
    Once me front lowered, all guys handphone up with silent camera pretending sending sms or mms. Becareful ladies!!

    Love those lift with mirrors all round, damn mysterious, can notice all ppls eyes ball rotating and shifting, and for all u know tho we all are standing, men will hv extra standing, that why most covered their front with cross hands.
    Mine me!! since when Valentino designed protruding business trousers.


  • At Friday, October 28, 2005 10:50:00 AM , Blogger ipromise said...

    Beng/Xishi, I usually move to the rear and make sure I'm not in the way of others but I'm going to start standing near the lift buttons, next to the lift lady.

  • At Friday, October 28, 2005 1:58:00 PM , Blogger lau hero said...

    Yr lift post, u c all r having fun and encountering respond, wat a lift.

    It good but not 4getting the bad one also, molesting, rape n robbery cases also happen in the lift, u have a story to tell?

    Angel xiao mei mei
    Is it true tat all guys do tat when u lower yr front on purpose to seduce them? if u happen that someone start to comment 'lower all la' will u turn yr head n look who's tat? u r into a big big surprise, be it a old or young handsome or not, u watch out yr back, a wolf in a sheep skin.

    Oldbeng u beg him, he will tell more of lift crime.

  • At Friday, October 28, 2005 2:58:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    lau hero
    You shall have the honour to sprout about crime in lift. Let's see it in your blog.

  • At Saturday, October 29, 2005 2:41:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    hi my mum juz introduce me to ur lim peh ka li kong blog all ur blogs all damm funny. can u post ur wife photo leh plz plz im only 11 yrs old

  • At Monday, October 31, 2005 9:20:00 AM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Thank you for coming into my blog and thanks your mum on my behalf.

    One thing for sure, my wife will not like her photo to be uploaded in my blog and guess I, like everyone else, have to respect her decision.

    Please also bear in mind that Old Beng does not speak and write good English and grammar is something which he cannot master therefore please do not, at any time, write his kind of language in your composition, ok?

    We do not say "me and my brother" as this is not proper English, the correct way is "My brother and I...."

    I also noticed that you used the word "damn" meaning "very", the correct word should be "darn" but it is a rather crude word which I will not and do not encourage my youngsters to write/say such word.

    I believe at your age now, you will be able to differentiate the correct and incorrect English used by Bloggers.

    Last but not least, please always ask your mum's opinion and explanation should you encounter any phase used in my blog which you may not understand or alternatively, you can ask me :)

    Mean while, you take care and be a good boy/girl. (Unable to know whether you are a boy or a girl by your anonymous name)

    With kind regards
    Uncle Old Beng


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