lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Adults' Craps Said To Poor Children

lim peh ka li kong

Me remembered very well that when me was just a little, sweet, innocent, ignorant, happy, small boy, me always heard my father, my mother, my uncles, my aunties, my elder brother, my teachers (to sum up : the adults) say things me didn't agree at all.

Now that me already an old uncle, me realised that me sometimes also talk the same way those adults used to talk, wa-lao eh, must change.

Me usually tell the younger generation (those still schooling) that it is very much better to be a student than to work. Guess what answer you will get if you were to tell any student?

"Working better la, no need to pay school fees and can earn money some more; no need to study for tests and exams; Can keep any hair-style I like;"

Yeah me also said those same lines then but now that we are working adults, what do you think? Me wish that me can turn back the clock and be a student again.

Adults say, "You don't talk so much, just do what I say, don't do what I do."
This is definitely a wrong way of treating your children. Though they may still be young but think they deserve at least a rational explanation before forcing anything down their throats.

"I eat salt more than you eat rice." Yeah right, how come you still so healthy without the slightest symptom of illness? Eat so much salt? Gila?

"I am your father/mother and BECAUSE I say so!"
Oh please, this is the worst shit. You don't pull rank just because you are the poor chap's parent. I always believe in reasoning even if the person I am talking to is a minor unless of course he/she is below 5 years old and the understanding of certain issues is far beyond his/her capability.

"Don't ever let me hear you swearing again."
How can the young chap say decent words when you as a parent use the F word in every sentence you talk?

"Why you so stupid? See our neighbour so-and-so did so much better than you in the tests and exams!"
Parents and teachers, don't ever say such things to the young hearts. Not everybody is good in his study so you cannot compare and condemn the poor kid. You sure a U-grad earns a better living and makes more money than one who is not a U-grad? Ha! think again.

"I don't know why I give birth to you?"
Come on, admit it, you gave birth to him because of the mere pleasure you wanted to enjoy then so don't blame.

"If you don't behave yourself, the Police will come and catch you."
Policemen always kena framed as bad guys to scare the poor kids, ha ha. Some other people who kena framed are the "Garang-gunu man" and the "A-Pu-Na-Na" (No offence please).

"When I was your age, I never gave my parent any problem."
Ha ha, lying with the eyes open big big, ya ya, I believe all parents then were very good children.

lim peh kong wan liao


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  • At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 11:07:00 AM , Blogger Mockingbird said...

    If there's anything kids can't stand, it's hypocrisy. It's what many of us as adults are guilty of, we tell them to do what we say but our actions speak much louder than our words ;p

  • At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 12:40:00 PM , Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

    that's why some adults can never make it.

    they only preach in front of their kids, but when they face their own boss/anyone that can jeopardize their interest, they hum up like a turtle.

    oh well, the irony of growing up, to be like what adults used to be. afterall, it was inculcate into our brains subconciously.

    or perhaps, that's the sadness on life.

    it's sad to be an adult. it's even more sad to be a sad fuck.

  • At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 1:16:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    true true. Policemen and the ah-pu-nei-nei are the real "bad guys" sometimes even innocent passerby like us.." don behave ah..auntie (ie me..who happens to share the same table in a food centre) will beat you...then the kid will stare at you.
    hello..wat did i do???

  • At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 1:56:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Yeah at times we try to make them follow our instructions but we ourselves never do it the same way we told them.

    Indeed there are many Ninja Turtles around us :)

    Ha ha, maybe your face look fierce leh?

    Hmmm, you must be someone who knows me since your nick is Cleopatra. (scratching my head...)

  • At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 2:33:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    *blank look* i am juz a innocent jiejie sharing table..not auntie :P

    *raise eyebrow* erm i don tink i know you..or maybe i do. *shrug* i chance upon your blog thru another blog

  • At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 3:11:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    The name Cleopatra is associated with my real name, thus I thought your are someone who knows me by person.

    Kam siah for coming to my blog :)

  • At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 3:25:00 PM , Blogger emiryo said...

    Kids today ain't like us back then, they'll talk back and question you...

    The parents now have to treat them with respect and talk to them as a person...

    I don't know how i'm gonna handle me kids in the future... some more my family have bad genes for rebellious kids! Karma!

  • At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 4:12:00 PM , Blogger lau hero said...

    That's true debar, it's always the same everywhere, it's the parent that worry and care for the their child, that's why they behave like that, and do you ever do something wrongfully that hurt them so much which you conclude that why I never listen to them in the first place.....think again, there is always a grey area between right and wrong, scratch head? haha it's like that one.

  • At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 4:13:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    you are most welcome. Your blog is pretty hilarious. I would love to read the ghost stories. becoz of my limited chinese...i can only get someone to read to me.

  • At Tuesday, March 14, 2006 6:48:00 PM , Blogger noeyesee said...

    u r rite uncle beng

    most adults say 1 thing but do another thats why sometimes i like to make them tulan.

    i hd just written a blog about making people tulan, go read when u r free (ha ha promo time, i m sure u wont mind me advertising here :p)

  • At Wednesday, March 15, 2006 6:58:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Adults need NOT be role models

    There are clearly 2 issues here:
    1. explain things to kids.

    2. Is it ok for adults to say: "do what I tell you to do, don't do what I do" i.e. is it ok to preach one thing, but do another thing? is that hypocrisy?

    I will leave pt 1 aside.

    I handle pt 2 first-- and I ans: yes, it is ok to say so. and no, it is NOT hypocrisy.

    Explanation: We cannot expect parents/adults to be role models for children all the time, because what is inappropriate for children may be appropriate for adults.

    Eg. students wear shorts as uniform. Must teacher also wear shorts to be a role-model?

    Students should concentrate on studies and not drink alcohol. But hey, many fathers need to go karaoke (with sexy hostess too) to entertain business clients!

    Students should not be putting on makeups and dying their hairs (because they should not be spending parents hard-earn money on such things, plus emphasising on skin-deep beauty will corrupt young mind blah). Adults/ parents should be putting on make-ups for work! And they can dye their hairs however they like now that they earn their own money, plus no need to concentrate on studies etc.

    teenagers should not be indulging in porns/violent movies (because young mind's *permanent* sexual fantasy/ violent outlook may be shaped by what was seen at such impressionable age (tons of research on this, dont even have any more room for counter arguments). Plus self-control low = may act out in real life the violence seen on tv). But hey, of course it is ok for their parents to watch some porn to make their bedroom life more shiok, right? And clearly, violent movies have no *permanent* effect on already hardened > 60 yr old brain

    The above examples means: indeed it is ok to say: "don't do what I do (because I am in a diff stage of life which makes what I do ok), do what i tell you to do (because at your stage/role in life, you should be doing something else instead of following wat i do)!!!"

    I do not think this is hypocrisy at all.

    and back to pt 1: sure, an initial explanation is good. BUT what happen after the initial explaination?

    sometimes, it is very difficult to explain things to teenagers/children because certain insight can come only with life experiences i.e. based on hind-sight, that kids simply lack.

    The type of char that is huai4 ming4 is the type that says: "Why should i listen to what my parents/teachers say, when i dont understand/accept the explanation they gave" <-- by the time they understand the explanation 10-20 yrs later, it has become too late!

    And since it is not possible to always convince children of the value of certain actions, sometimes parents have to appeal thus:

    "I am your father/mother and BECAUSE I say so!"

    This type of rank pulling is justified. It should be translated thus:

    "Please lah, ah boy, i know you cannot accept my explaination. And I dont expect you to until you reach my age, because only then will you have the benefit of hindsight. So, for right now, can you just trust that as your father/mother, I won't be asking you to do something that is bad for you? Can you just do it based on the fact that wo3 bu4 hui4 hai4 ni3? Because other than appealing to this emotional fact, there is no other way to convince you!"

    If I were your (= a teenager)'s adult friend --> if I cannot convince you with my reasoning, I can't be bothered. I will continue to be your good friend, and you will like me very much.

    If I were your parents --> Even if I cannot convince you with my reasoning, I will tirelessly and strictly impose a curfew, cane you etc, and you will hate me and wonder how come I am not as "kai tong" as your adult friends.

    I tell you why: because I am your parents and I have to unfortunately be the bad guy for your sake, whereas your adult friends do not have your welfare at heart and need not be that bad guy!

    That's the misery of being a parents -- having to play the role of a bad guy...

  • At Wednesday, March 15, 2006 7:18:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    "Why you so stupid? See our neighbour so-and-so did so much better than you in the tests and exams!"

    I give you an alternative conversation that makes the above way of talking ok:

    Kid: why? because i am stupid. so-and-so better at studying than me. i useless. I hopeless.

    parents: No. The only reason why he is doing better is because he is working harder than you. I highlight your neighbour to prove to you that hard work pays off. Get it? Xiao Ming, your right-side neighbour study from xx to yy hours. xiao qiang, your left-side neighbour work hard for zz hours everyday! That's the ans to why you appear to be more stupid than them! And that's my message in comparing!"

    I personally think when most parents compare, they are having the above in mind..

  • At Wednesday, March 15, 2006 7:43:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    > You sure a U-grad earns a better living and makes more money than one who is not a U-grad? Ha! think again.

    Personally for me, how I "think" will depend on my role.

    If I were a friend of a rebellious 18 yr old girl, I will say: "yalor. Look at Sim wong hoo. look at jackie chan. they all not uni grad. they all earn more. If u want to quit uni and become an actress, go with your heart, it's up to you. One day after u succeed, must give me your autograph. hahaha".

    Then, I will skip the entire conversation away to something more "interesting" eg. shall we go party tonight? my place or your place?...

    BUT, if I were the father of that same 18 yr old, I will say: "precisely because jackie chan did not have a high education, that's why he went through a very hard life before attaining success. And sim wong hoo is a rare example because. usually, higher education correlates with more comfortable life though not 100%. can you just damn well go finish your uni before talking abt becoming an actress?"

    Then my 18 yr old will hate me and think: "I talked to so many adults, yet how come my own father is the most lao gu dong, bu kai tong"?

    She doesnt know: that's because good parents have the responsibility of disciplining them to the point of being dictatorial (if repeated explaination/ reasoning fail), whereas other ppple do not have such duties! Parents know their kids will hate them for that. But parents still do it..

  • At Thursday, March 16, 2006 12:34:00 PM , Blogger 洛奇飞 said...

    We will keep on repeating the same value judement and passing them down to our new generations as we are in the same circulation of life.

    Unless we are able to fly to a different altitude to view thing from different angle.



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