lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

10 Signs You Are A Typical Singaporean

lim peh ka li kong

10 signs you are a typical Singaporean.

1) Whenever you are touring in our neighbouring countries, you talk like a bird : "Cheap! Cheap! Cheap! Cheap!" all the way.

2) You are very scared to talk about politics.

3) Your middle name is "COMPLAINT".

4) You make a marriage proposal by asking your girlfriend whether she wants to apply for a HDB flat with you.

5) You will drive to anywhere and everywhere so long as there is good food.

6) When there is a long queue, you will first get your child/maid to join the queue first and then check out where the queue will lead you to.

7) You look rich and wealthy with the Condo and Landed property and car and maid but in fact, liabilities is very much higher than you assets.

8) Your family consists of you, your spouse, your children, you dog and your maid. Parents leh?

9) You need the Government to force you to take care of your aged parents.

10) Your are generous in donations in monetary terms but too selfish to show a "Smile".

lim peh kong wan liao

Labels: ,

Related Posts with Thumbnails

25 Comments:

  • At Thursday, August 31, 2006 11:39:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Haha! i am happy that i am a singaporean

     
  • At Thursday, August 31, 2006 12:21:00 PM , Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

    I am a true blood singaporean.

    i wish we all just... stand up for our rights, though our thinkings have been shaped intentionally by the white devils :(

    hahaah

     
  • At Thursday, August 31, 2006 8:07:00 PM , Blogger platformshoes said...

    you are a singaporean if you "chope" seats with tissue paper packs on hawker centre tables

    you are a singaporean parent if you start looking for properties within one km of targetted primary school when your child is turning two

     
  • At Thursday, August 31, 2006 9:26:00 PM , Blogger Kenny Ng said...

    I only hit point no.5, nice food important lor... hahahaha.

     
  • At Thursday, August 31, 2006 11:58:00 PM , Blogger Dukester said...

    Dat is so damn true!!! dunno to be proud abt it or wat.....

     
  • At Friday, September 01, 2006 3:55:00 AM , Blogger Ang Gu Gu said...

    hahaha...singaporeans..ill make a typical malaysians instead =p

     
  • At Friday, September 01, 2006 9:29:00 AM , Blogger 欣架打鳥人 said...

    2 Chinese-looking people talking to each other in English = Singaporean!

    (Go anywhere around the world also accurate :)

     
  • At Friday, September 01, 2006 9:56:00 AM , Blogger 欣架打鳥人 said...

    You will know a typical Singaporean when you come across someone who:
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    1. look down on those who cannot speak good English.

    2. proud that self is a native English speaker.

    3. feel humiliated when westerners disagree with 2.

    4. talk to husband/wife in mother tongue, talk to own kids in English.

    5. convinced that first-class English is needed to succeed in this world.

    6. mad that foreign "talents" who speak2nd-class English can succeed in our school school and in this world.

    7. shocked that most Europeans have no difficulty learning 2 or 3 languages in school.

    8. promote broken English for sense of identity.


    You will know a NON-typical Singaporean when you come across someone who:
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    1. write the above 8 points.
    keke.

     
  • At Friday, September 01, 2006 10:13:00 AM , Blogger ipromise said...

    Beng, some comments from your fellow Singaporean:

    1.Cheap! Cheap! Cheap! :
    RMB25(S$5) for an hour of massage or foot reflexology overseas. In S'pore, my son wants to charge me S$5 for gently massaging my neck for 5 mins!

    2. Politics:
    I don't hear many people talking politics but I did hear Ah Sengs and Ah Bengs mention politicians, namely Wong Kan Seng and Lee Hsien Long.

    3. COMPLAINT but still COMPLIANT.

    4. Marriage cum HDB application:
    Reconsider marriage if GF's parents wants to stay together.

    5. Drive anywhere for food:
    Especially places that have free parking.

    6. Joining long queues:
    I'll get back to this later. Need to go find out about a new queue.

    7. Financial status:
    No comment. IRAS may be reading.

    8. Family members:
    You, your spouse and children are definitely in the top three. What are the other 3 again?

    9. Garment force to take care of parents:
    Our parents have paid a lot of tax throughout their lifetime. It's only fair that the Garment do something for them in return.

    10. Generosity/Smile:
    Not so generous after the 'peanut' fiasco.

     
  • At Friday, September 01, 2006 4:49:00 PM , Blogger Sunflower said...

    This is very interesting.

    BTW, send regard to lau hero can? I miss him :D

     
  • At Saturday, September 02, 2006 10:08:00 AM , Blogger old beng said...

    Anonymous
    I am happy that you are happy :)

    Spinnee
    Thinking can be shaped but ultimate result should be within our will.
    Me also another ture blood Singaporean.

    Platformshoes
    Yes, the 2 points you provided is definitely signs of a typical Singaporean.

    Kenny
    Guess food crosses borders worldwide, eh... BTW your side got good food bo?

    Dukster
    Nah mind, so long you feel ok to be one.

    Ang Gu Gu
    Yes, it will be interesting to see your typical Malaysian.

    Xin Jia
    Guess there are some Chinese who cannot speak their mother tongue well to be able to converse.

    Your 8 points are very true to certain extend.

    Ipromise
    Long time no see you come here. I especially like your point 3 :D

    Sunflower
    Ok, me will tell Lau Hero that you miss him... for the price of a cup of coffee :p

     
  • At Saturday, September 02, 2006 10:19:00 PM , Blogger Kenny Ng said...

    Old Beng: my side ah? in KL i know few places only, if my hometown Penang everywhere also got good food la... haha

     
  • At Sunday, September 03, 2006 3:50:00 AM , Blogger Crayn Tay said...

    可能已经在这里生活了,在新加坡工作。马来西亚人在新加坡工作,难免还是会担心。英语都是比较担心的部分。但是我会开始学习了解这里的文化,也要从““令伯卡你讲”这里开始。

     
  • At Sunday, September 03, 2006 12:53:00 PM , Anonymous Destiny said...

    Interesting.. But I dun fit any of these leh.. Is it I'm not a S'porean? Hahaha

     
  • At Sunday, September 03, 2006 3:33:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    Kenny
    So next time me go find you for good food, can?

    Crayn
    Er....there are more jokes than truths in "lim peh ka li kong". Hope you are getting use here.

    Des
    Ha ha, that means you are still a young Singaporean, not the "Typical" stage yet :)

     
  • At Sunday, September 03, 2006 8:10:00 PM , Anonymous Destiny said...

    Hope I will never reach the "tttyypiiccaallll" stage.. So suan ku.. Hahaha..

     
  • At Monday, September 04, 2006 1:02:00 PM , Blogger Sunflower said...

    Hehe, NP. Include Cha-bo-lang share oso. :D

     
  • At Monday, September 04, 2006 1:36:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    haha i got 6 out of 10 ..
    erm isit good or bad ??

     
  • At Monday, September 04, 2006 2:37:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    Destiny
    Your day will come =_="""

    Sunflower
    You open invitation to all ah? :p

    Anonymous
    Ha ha me also 6/10. Erm... me guess there´s no good no bad, just some facts about us.

     
  • At Monday, September 04, 2006 5:26:00 PM , Blogger Serene said...

    haha... all this signs got fit u not? cool blog. :)

     
  • At Tuesday, September 05, 2006 1:23:00 AM , Blogger Xorpheus said...

    hahaha...guess i fit into No.5 very much :)

     
  • At Tuesday, September 05, 2006 9:27:00 AM , Blogger Sunflower said...

    ha.....NOooooooooooooooooooo..... broke if open to all ^_^""

     
  • At Tuesday, September 05, 2006 2:59:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    Serene
    Yeah, got 6 out of 10 ^_^""

    Xorpheus
    Hello, only 1 point huh?

    Sunflower
    Ha ha me just asking on behalf of all :p

     
  • At Tuesday, September 05, 2006 4:34:00 PM , Blogger Mickell said...

    Singaporeans who speak English with foreign accent are ocstracised against. Yaya papaya :D We may be asset-rich, but cash-poor. LNWI stands for
    Low
    Net
    Worth
    Individuals.

     
  • At Wednesday, September 06, 2006 2:44:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    Mickell
    Are you referring to me who start his speech with "lim peh ka li kong"?

     

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home