Jokes / 笑话 (RA)

lim peh ka li kong

Wow, 几久 never share some jokes here liao, hope you like these few:

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A maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'

Maria: "Well, Madame, there are 3 reasons why I want an increase. The first is dat I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"

Maria: "Sir said so."

Wife: "Oh."

Maria: "The second reason is that I cook better than you."

Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook?"

Maria: "Sir said so."

Wife: "Oh."

Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in bed."

Wife (really furious now): "Did my husband say that as well?"

Maria: "No Madam.......your son's tutor said that."

Wife: "So.........OK......... how much do you want?"

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一个大近视眼的女生去买鞋，试穿的时候，把蹲在身前的店员的秃头，看成了自己的膝盖。

那个女生觉得连膝盖都露出来，腿实在是露太多了，赶紧把裙子盖上去，结果害得那店员以为停电了。。

x x x x x

The queen of England was visiting one of Singapore's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient, Lau Hero, was masturbating.

"Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?"

Old Beng the doctor leading the tour explained, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that 5 times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly."

"Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.

On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving another patient, No Eyes, a blow job.

"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"

Old Beng replied, "Same problem, richer patient."

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老英雄的太太突发奇想，想让丈夫有个意外惊喜。

於是她载上假发，换上一套全新的衣服，并化了一个与平日不同的妆，然後到老英雄的办公室，卖弄风骚的说：“嗨！帅哥，你想不想和我。。。”

老英雄看了她一眼，立刻打断她的话，说：“不！我什麽也不想，我一看到妳就联想到我的老婆。”

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lim peh kong wan liao