lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

More Lau Hero´s Jokes

lim peh ka li kong

Me shall post a few more Lau Hero´s jokes with a little bit of spice as requested, enjoy:


A girl took Lau Hero back home after the school dance.

She tells him to be very, very quiet as her parents are asleep upstairs and if they wake up, she´ll be in big trouble as she´s not allowed to bring boys home.

They settle down to business on the sofa, but after a while, Lau Hero stops and asks, "Where´s the toilet? I need to go."

She says,"It´s upstairs, next to my parents´bedroom. But you can´t go there, as you´ll probably wake them up. Use the sink in the kitchen instead."

Lau Hero goes into the kitchen and, after a short while, he pops his head around the living-room door and says to his girlfriend, "Have you got any toilet paper?"


Concerned about his recent sexual performances, Lau Hero goes to see a doctor.

After a couple of tests, the specialist sits him down for a quiet talk.

"I´m sorry," the quack says, "but it would appear that you have simply worn out your male jewel. By my reckoning, you have 30 shags left, then that´s it. Your sex life is over."

Lau Hero walks home in a dark depression.

His wife is waiting for him in their front room.

"Oh my god!" She cries when Lau Hero tells her of his misfortune."30 shags! We can´t waste a single one of them. Every one must be special. Let´s draw up a schedule right now."

"I made a schedule on the way home," Lau Hero says, "And your name isn´t on it."


Walking past an alleyway late one night, Old beng sees No-Eye-See-See with 2 fingers shoved firmly up the anal of Lau Hero, who is kneeling on the floor.

"What the hell do you 2 think you are doing?" Old Beng asks the 2 men.

No-Eye-See-See doing the fingering stops, then looks up at Old Beng to offer his explanation. "It´s quite simple really, Old Beng. Our good friend Lau Hero here has drunk far too much today and I am simply trying to make him sick it all up."

"Well," Old Beng says, "sticking your fingers up his bumhole won´t make him sick."

"No, I know that," says No-Eye-See-See. "But sticking them in his mouth afterwards should do the trick."


Lau Hero was sitting on a bench at the mall.

No-Eye-See-See walked up to the bench and sat down. He has spiked hair in all different colour: green, red, pink, blue, yellow, purple.

Lau Hero just stared.

No-Eye-See-See said, "What´s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

Lau Hero replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."


Lau Hero ordered a Milking Machine. Tried on it on his penis & had a wonderful orgasm but could not remove it. So he read the manuel & fainted.



Special appearances : Lau Hero; No Eye See See;

lim peh kong wan liao

All jokes are not the creation of Old Beng, sources from emails, hear-say and magazines.


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