More Lau Hero´s Jokes

lim peh ka li kong

Me shall post a few more Lau Hero´s jokes with a little bit of spice as requested, enjoy:

=====

A girl took Lau Hero back home after the school dance.

She tells him to be very, very quiet as her parents are asleep upstairs and if they wake up, she´ll be in big trouble as she´s not allowed to bring boys home.

They settle down to business on the sofa, but after a while, Lau Hero stops and asks, "Where´s the toilet? I need to go."

She says,"It´s upstairs, next to my parents´bedroom. But you can´t go there, as you´ll probably wake them up. Use the sink in the kitchen instead."

Lau Hero goes into the kitchen and, after a short while, he pops his head around the living-room door and says to his girlfriend, "Have you got any toilet paper?"

=====

Concerned about his recent sexual performances, Lau Hero goes to see a doctor.

After a couple of tests, the specialist sits him down for a quiet talk.

"I´m sorry," the quack says, "but it would appear that you have simply worn out your male jewel. By my reckoning, you have 30 shags left, then that´s it. Your sex life is over."

Lau Hero walks home in a dark depression.

His wife is waiting for him in their front room.

"Oh my god!" She cries when Lau Hero tells her of his misfortune."30 shags! We can´t waste a single one of them. Every one must be special. Let´s draw up a schedule right now."

"I made a schedule on the way home," Lau Hero says, "And your name isn´t on it."

=====

Walking past an alleyway late one night, Old beng sees No-Eye-See-See with 2 fingers shoved firmly up the anal of Lau Hero, who is kneeling on the floor.

"What the hell do you 2 think you are doing?" Old Beng asks the 2 men.

No-Eye-See-See doing the fingering stops, then looks up at Old Beng to offer his explanation. "It´s quite simple really, Old Beng. Our good friend Lau Hero here has drunk far too much today and I am simply trying to make him sick it all up."

"Well," Old Beng says, "sticking your fingers up his bumhole won´t make him sick."

"No, I know that," says No-Eye-See-See. "But sticking them in his mouth afterwards should do the trick."

=====

Lau Hero was sitting on a bench at the mall.

No-Eye-See-See walked up to the bench and sat down. He has spiked hair in all different colour: green, red, pink, blue, yellow, purple.

Lau Hero just stared.

No-Eye-See-See said, "What´s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

Lau Hero replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

=====

Lau Hero ordered a Milking Machine. Tried on it on his penis & had a wonderful orgasm but could not remove it. So he read the manuel & fainted.

It said, AUTO RELEASE AFTER 2 GALLONS

=====

Special appearances : Lau Hero; No Eye See See;

lim peh kong wan liao

All jokes are not the creation of Old Beng, sources from emails, hear-say and magazines.