lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Old Beng Went To The Seaside

lim peh ka li kong

Last Saturday, Old Beng brought his whole family to the seaside for a relaxing day.

Seaside!?! What can we do there? Well, we can swim, cycle, roller-blading, fly kite, throw and catch frisbee, picnic and most important of all, me can see all the young and energetic girl girl in their shorts, ha ha ha. (Their long tanned legs always caught my eyes without fail.)

In the morning, my cha-bo-lang prepared a big pot of curry chicken and some sandwiches as food is the most important issue in Old Beng's big family. Of course important la, 14 mouths to feed hor. (My cha-bo-lang can make many different types of sandwiches - cheese, egg, butter, tuna, sardine, ham, tarayaki chicken, and many many mouth-drooling types.)

I think the phrase "The right way to capture a man's heart is through his stomach" is correct, although my friend Lau Qin said the right place is below the stomach la. No understand leh???

We also bought 4 long "sharp-head" french bread for us to eat with the curry chicken.

"Oei, lau beng, what "sharp-head" bread you are talking? They are called "Baguette" la." My cha-bo-lang corrected my English. Oei! Correct my English in my blog? Make me malu only. Next time can tell me quietly or not, so I not so pie seh? Me got many friends here, ok!?!

Anyway, never mind what they are called la, to me they are just roti and the sharp head kind is best to eat with curry. These "baguette" also goes along well with Mutton Soup la, imagine eating Curry or Mutton Soup with ordinary white bread...... no shiok right?

After a long journey of about an hour (courtesy to my old van), we finally reached East Coast Park and found a cooling place under the trees.

While me and my cha-bo-lang laid the food down, all our children (the older ones) dispersed in groups of 2 or 3. Me saw my eldest son Xiao Ma Ge (Little horse man) walking with 2 of our younger daughters along the coast looking for seashells. 2 of my boys went roller-blading, some girls went building sand-castles and others just ran around playing with frisbee.

After the food and paper plates and drinks were laid properly, old beng joined my sons and daughters in a game of throwing and catching frisbee. Wa-piang, don't admit old also cannot, just 5 minutes already starting to pant like an old dog with tongue tangling out. Cannot la, must rest for a while, think bcos lately just recovered from a cold that's why stamina not so good liao. Must make sure resume my daily workout to regain my fit fit health.

While sitting down beside my cha-bo-lang, me saw my oldest son, Xiao Ma Ge, walking back with my 2 daughters and both the young girls were crying.

When they reached where we were sitting, my cha-bo-lang asked our son why the 2 sisters were crying?

"Mummy, kor kor dont let me take the balloon near the trees there, boo hoo hoo!" cried one of my young daughters.

My Xiao Ma Ge with his whole face red, explained softly in my right ear.

"Are you sure they are condos and not balloons?" Me didn't believe what my son just told me.

"Pa, it's condoms not condos." Xiao Ma Ge said, "somemore they were used ones so how can I let mei mei take?"

Cha-bo-lang turned to our crying daughters and told them to stop crying and must listen to what their kor kor said and with a sandwich each, our 2 young daughters stopped crying and in just a while, totally forgot why they were crying in the first place.

Alamak, how can these people just throw anyhow their used condos, er... I mean condoms, like that very no good leh.

Please hor, people who cannot afford to go motel or hotel, kindly cleared up your mess after action la especially in the public places. Maybe I am wrong, they not cannot afford but like the natural atmosphere for action.

Me felt very puzzled leh, in the open sure must keep an eye around to prevent people from peeping so how to enjoy? Somemore, sure got intruders like ants la, flies la and worst of all - mosquitoes, somemore if kena the dengue type how? Cannot imagine, action halfway got to stop and scratch scratch here and scratch scratch there, tak shiok la.

lim peh kong wan liao

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  • At Tuesday, October 04, 2005 1:29:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Hahaha.....old beng, your writing is improving each day.
    I am one of your fans in YMB, but i never choose to reply any, cos i just wanna remain annoymous. With the new YMB, it is not so interesting anymore, I will continue to support by reading your blog here instead. Keep up the good work!

    Btw, with regards to your comments on the 'scratch scratch'. I think the fun part is the girl scratch for guy and the guy scratch for girl lor..*blinks*

  • At Tuesday, October 04, 2005 1:51:00 PM , Blogger 孺子牛 said...

    Old Beng,

    Ya it is the place below the stomach - her pair of long, tanned and sexy legs.

    Don't you agreed too? Otherwise you will not mention it - see girls in their shorts.

    Do you teach the little horse sex education, he seems to know a lot, inherited from the father??? Or SELF STUDY?

  • At Tuesday, October 04, 2005 3:34:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Beng, nice story. Me also like to go to beach. Can see many young girls in bikinis. Noticed more girls are wearing 2 piece swim suits these days. Maybe, it's because they have more to show now. Once, I jokingly asked a lady friend if she uses a 2 pce or 1 pce swim suit. She replied 1 pce and I asked her if it's the top or bottom piece.
    Also your comments about 'scratch' may not be valid. When you are deeply engrossed in such activity, all the itch is concentrated on one area and you probably won't feel itch anywhere else, until the 'balloon' is deflated.

  • At Tuesday, October 04, 2005 8:44:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Old beng, I like your style of writing, makes my day bright just by reading.

  • At Tuesday, October 04, 2005 9:14:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Ah Beng, next time take me to seaside, I can swim in totally naked with you.

  • At Tuesday, October 04, 2005 9:24:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    anonymous no 1
    My writing improving each day? thanks to the help from my cha-bo-lang and just like they say," practice makes perfect but mine is practice makes better."

    lau qin
    You said it man, like father like son. Anyway, nowadays the teenagers all very knowledgeable on such issues la. Think some better than old beng me.

    Yeah, beach got very nice scenery especially those girls with bikini *wink*

    anonymous no 2
    Kam siah for liking to read my stories, whoever you are :)

    dirty chick
    Welcome to my blog but I dont really like to swim. Thanks but no thanks.

  • At Wednesday, October 05, 2005 5:56:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Dear uncle old beng,
    So, i know y guys love to look at legs only, i used to think u all like top part, okie, i will expose more on the legs. Aiya!, all this time exposing on my top deep valley wasted.

    U think motel and hotel shiok meh??
    Doing in the public is our latest trend, it secretive, exciting with our natural instinct with nature. As homo saipan, we are suppose to do it this way, it just that civilisation took over us.

    Picking up condxx is ok, dont ask your kids go and take the wrong bread on the floor left over by.....hahahahaha!!!
    Last time used to go with a bf there to do the scratch scratch... dun think dirty,,,, those scratch and match game ok.

    My this ex ipromise and this qin die emperor corhorted with u against me, let see,,,huh! wat laksa mei, who give this label to me,,,, katong or joo chiat???
    I am talking about subordinate and supreme court not sport or furniture court ok.
    We can settle out of court, but please dun court me, unless u are handsome and nice...ok rubbish aside, for violation of IP, la kopi
    my attorney will be sueing u for 10k, but if out of court, each kowtow to me 3 times and publish in the new beta board saying that u all are sori for it. I kindhearted gal, wont force u guys to go bankrupt.

    Dun play with fire.

  • At Wednesday, October 05, 2005 6:11:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Angel Mei Mei
    Me old beng handsome but 20 years ago la. Now where got chance to court girl girl anymore? Most can only secretly see see.

    Ok la I pay you the 10K now

    K K K K K K K K K K

    There you go and be good.

    No fire how to cook?

  • At Wednesday, October 05, 2005 8:50:00 PM , Blogger 孺子牛 said...

    Old Beng,

    Good one. Me too provide another 10K to her.

    1K 2K 3K 4K 5K 6K 7K 8K 9K 10K

    Think that's enough for her.

    I agreed with Angel, I used to scratch here scratch there in the public. I did it in front of police post too. Anyway, the scratch game is quite excited, sometime kena sometime not kena. Think straight, Angel, I am talking about the Scratch and Win.

    Old Beng, my sentiments exactly. 20 years ago, I may think of courting this chio bu, but I would better give myself a break now.

  • At Thursday, October 06, 2005 11:31:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Dear uncle lau handsome beng,
    Old also got old handsome look rite, sometime i also admire andy lau and jackie cheung looks, hv that mature handome look too, wee all wet already,,,, but if see jay chou or 5566, wha lau, skirt also drop, mouth dripping and drooping, ear must plug up,,,,if not booze... blood....ah...
    Now use electri and electronic city, fire???, no wonder papa told me last time use to have fire broke out here and there.

    Wha lau qin die emperor, 3000-5000bc still think of courting me...ask u come suntec u go moontec..wasted...want a break..darn here u go have a kitkat!

    Dun play with me with those 1 little indian ,2 little indian ... and 10 little indian boys game.

    I meant it!!!, 10k not kk or 1k 2k...i have my patience reserved.

    what say u guys?, we meet at kk hospital, kowtow 3 times there in the name of all mothers and childs
    then we la kopi.

    for our holy mother

  • At Thursday, October 06, 2005 12:07:00 PM , Blogger TheBlurQueen said...

    ...hahaha....beng u never fail to tickle...condoms along the beach...
    aiya beng some ppl dun care 1 arr...strong urge controls their mind...anywhere oso can shoot..hehe

    ..angel mei, come c my oso old like beng but still must try new thing like blogging..hehhehe

  • At Thursday, October 06, 2005 12:07:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Angel Mei Mei

    Why you so like to be kowtow? Since you are from kantan clan, let me share our Chinese proverbs with you:

    "Nan Ren Xi Xia You Huang Jin" literally means "There is gold below the knees of the Men" so Men dont anyhow kneel down and kowtow.

    BUT since you so like to be kowtow, me can arrange my 12 children to be your god sons and daughters and they will kowtow to you during Chinese New Year but of course after the promotion to a God mother of 12, we are a family so no legal issue anymore.

    Good man, this coming new year, my children will have additional ang-bao from their new god mother.

  • At Thursday, October 06, 2005 2:16:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Beng, just want to make one thing clear. When ChioBu become your kid's God Mother, her ex does not automatically become their God Father, right?. Every year,my CNY 'Angpow' business is losing money. Don't think I can afford to give another 12 Angpows.

  • At Thursday, October 06, 2005 3:50:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...


    Ex or no ex is very subjective especially you 2 on on off off until we all see already also blur blur.

    If already past tense, then no la, you are spared but if still present tensing, then ha ha another 12 more.


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