Some Jokes Taken From Simple Guy

lim peh ka li kong

Was reading this blog the other day and had a real good laugh reading his jokes, share some with you:

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FAX
Dad, I was away for a week.

Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms.

Why, Dad ? Tell me why!"

Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

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SAME SERVICE
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.

Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."

"Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"

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AN ACTOR'S LAST CHANCE
There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.

The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'"

The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he's practicing his line over and over again.

Finally, the time came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and with great passion delivered the line, "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."

The theatre erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was steaming!

"You bloody fool!" he cried, "You have ruined me!"

The actor was bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?"

"No!" screamed the director. "You forgot the rose!"

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PRESCRIPTION
A lady walks into the drug store and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.

The pharmacist asks, "Madam, what do you want with arsenic?"

The lady says, "To kill my husband."

"I can't sell you any for that reason", says the pharmacist.

The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a Photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

He looks at the photo and says, "Oh...........I didn't know you had a prescription!"

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MEN & THEIR FAMILIES
An Englishman, American, and Arabian were in a bar talking about their families.

The Englishman said, "I have ten kids at home and if I had another one I would have a soccer team!"

"Well," said the American guy, "I have fifteen kids at home and if I had another one I would have a football team!"

"Well," said the Arabic guy, "I have seventeen wives at home and if I had another one I would have a golf course."

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小鸭小鸡
从前鸡和鸭本来是好朋友, 直到有一天~~~

小鸭从小鸡家乡哭着跑回来,

老鸭吃惊见了问:“为什么哭?到底发生什么事?”

小鸭哭诉说被鸡妈妈和全家乡的鸡追着打,老鸭又问为什么被打?

小鸭说:“我只是向他们开心的喊道别,那里知道鸡妈妈和全村的鸡很生气追着打我。”

老鸭问:“你是怎么道别的?”

小鸭说:“我只是开心呼喊着:小鸡Bye!老鸡Bye!全村鸡Bye!鸡Bye!全部鸡Bye!

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All jokes taken from Simple-Guy's blog.

lim peh kong wan liao