lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Jokes For You

lim peh ka li kong

Share 2 jokes with you before Chinese New Year:


No Eyes, Old Beng and Lao Hero were hired at a construction site.

The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told No Eyes, "You're in charge of sweeping."

To Old Beng he said, "You're in charge of shoveling."

And to Lao Hero, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."

The foreman went away for a couple of hours and when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked No Eyes, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

No Eyes replied, "I have no broom. You said to Lao Hero that he was in a charge of supplies, but he has disappeared and I could not find him nowhere."

Then the foreman turned to Old Beng and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."

Old Beng, "Ayo, you did but lim peh couldn't get myself a shovel! You left Lao Hero in charge of supplies, but I also couldn't find him either."

The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Lao Hero.

Just then, Lao Hero jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled...



Lao Hero was approached by Old Beng at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work.

Lao Hero said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work.

Old Beng then suggested a way to overcome that problem: "When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys."

So Lao Hero agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's panties, and gave her oral sex.

She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to take a leak, so he told her he'd be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom.

When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the john.

"How did you get in here?" he asked.

"Shhhhh!!!" she replied, "you'll wake-up my mother!"


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