Jokes Jokes Jokes
These are some jokes which me like, share share with you:
What would you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
The boss demanded to know where he had been.
"I´ve been for a haircut."
"You can´t have your hair cut in office time!"
"Why not? It grows in office time."
"Not all of it," said the boss.
"So I didn´t get it all cut off," he replied.
If your wife insists on learning to drive, don´t stand in her way.
A neighbour is a person who listens to you attentively, through a wall.
A bed is where one good turn can get all the blanket.
The smart husband thinks twice before saying nothing.
She stopped in front of the blind man and dropped all her small change into his cup with a clink.
"God bless you, lady," he said. "I knew you was kind hearted the moment I saw you turn the corner."
"I have been asked to get married hundreds of times," she pouted.
"By whom?" he asked.
"My mum and dad," she said.
"What is a monologue, Dad?"
"That´s a conversation with your mother, son."
He used to be an all-round athlete.
Now he´s just all round.
The boss told the applicant there was a vacancy for a responsible worker. "Are you responsible?" he asked.
"I´m the right bloke alright." said Fred. "Every job I´ve had, when anything happened, everybody said I was responsible!"
An elderly spinster approached the pearly gates and knocked.
"Who is it?" asked St Peter.
"It is I," came the reply.
"Oh no," muttered St Peter. "Not another school teacher."
"Congratulations, my boy," said the groom´s uncle. "I´m sure you will look back on today as the happiest day of your life."
"But I´m not getting married until tomorrow," protested the lad.
"I know," said the uncle.
lim peh kong wan liao
* All jokes taken from the book "The Little Book Of Jokes" - Publisher : Robert Frederick Ltd *
Labels: Funny Stuff