Jokes Jokes Jokes

lim peh ka li kong

These are some jokes which me like, share share with you:

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What would you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
A widow.

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The boss demanded to know where he had been.
"I´ve been for a haircut."
"You can´t have your hair cut in office time!"
"Why not? It grows in office time."
"Not all of it," said the boss.
"So I didn´t get it all cut off," he replied.

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If your wife insists on learning to drive, don´t stand in her way.

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A neighbour is a person who listens to you attentively, through a wall.

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A bed is where one good turn can get all the blanket.

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The smart husband thinks twice before saying nothing.

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She stopped in front of the blind man and dropped all her small change into his cup with a clink.
"God bless you, lady," he said. "I knew you was kind hearted the moment I saw you turn the corner."

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"I have been asked to get married hundreds of times," she pouted.
"By whom?" he asked.
"My mum and dad," she said.

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"What is a monologue, Dad?"
"That´s a conversation with your mother, son."

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He used to be an all-round athlete.
Now he´s just all round.

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The boss told the applicant there was a vacancy for a responsible worker. "Are you responsible?" he asked.
"I´m the right bloke alright." said Fred. "Every job I´ve had, when anything happened, everybody said I was responsible!"

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An elderly spinster approached the pearly gates and knocked.
"Who is it?" asked St Peter.
"It is I," came the reply.
"Oh no," muttered St Peter. "Not another school teacher."

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"Congratulations, my boy," said the groom´s uncle. "I´m sure you will look back on today as the happiest day of your life."
"But I´m not getting married until tomorrow," protested the lad.
"I know," said the uncle.

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lim peh kong wan liao

* All jokes taken from the book "The Little Book Of Jokes" - Publisher : Robert Frederick Ltd *