lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Old Beng At Clementi Central

lim peh ka li kong

Last week got one night me and my cha-bo-lang went to Clementi Central to jalan jalan see see look look and also to pay my PUB bills. As the weather was very cooling, we just walked to Clementi hand in hand without driving.

I tell you ah, the PUB bill now like higher and higher leh, every month me have to pay very much but bo-bian la, cannot don't pay one, if not later they cut off our water and electricity supply more jia-liat.

As we walked past the Hawker Centre, the smell of Satay made me hungry again although we had our dinner at home before coming out. Think the smell was blown to us and we finally sat down and ordered some satay to eat. (Supposed to walk to Clementi to do some strolling exercise, yet ended up in eating Satay? How to keep a healthy life in Singapore when there's so much good food?)

After eating our Satay, we proceed to the Post Office to make payment for our PUB bills via the S.A.M Machine.

Think because Christmas was just round the corner, there were many many people there. While me was ordering a packet of Bamboo Juice, eh...I mean Sugar-cane juice, my cha-bo-lang proceeded to look at shoes in one of the shoe shop not far away.

After packing the drink, me walked towards my cha-bo-lang and on the way, a chio-bu walked towards me. I couldn't help but to stare at her cos she resembled Dolly Parton to certain extend if you know what I mean. Think that "Dolly Parton look-alike" doesn't know how to buy clothings for herself cos the T-shirt she was wearing was definitely 2 size smaller and Old Beng almost had a nose bled trying to read the Logo printed it.

As we were nearer to each other, Old Beng me shifted my body slightly to the left in order not to block her way and make sure that I would not accidentally knock her then no good la. This one if knock head-on or should I say chest-on sure internal injury 内伤 one.

At that moment when me moved my body to my left, "Dolly Parton look-alike" also moved her body to her right which was my left. Heng ah, me stopped immediately and of course moved my body to the right then to avoid collision but then hor, she also very cartoon one, she also moved to the same direction thus the 2 of us were like doing a dance step. Left right left right. Finally, we managed to walk past each other without any collision or body contact whatsoever. (Just wondering to myself, do I considered it as lucky or unlucky for not having body contact? - My conscience told me should not think too much about it but hello, Dolly Parton look-alike leh?)

When I saw my cha-bo-lang looking at me, whatever Parton also got to pardon me liao.

"Why? Lau Beng, new dance steps huh?" My cha-bo-lang looked at me.

" la, where got dance....just that the road too narrow la." Me started to feel sweat dripping down my back when answering. Luckily my cha-bo-lang didn't say much and we proceed to the Post Office to make payment.

While me was scanning our PUB bill and keying in my ATM information, me saw a pink paper-bag sitting on top of the S.A.M machine just above our heads. Nobody was around us and me could see the shadow of wires through the paper-bag.

Me told my cha-bo-lang about it and stretched my hand to try to take the paper-bag down to see the contents inside.

"Oei, lau beng, don't you touch it." Cha-bo-lang slapped my hand.

"Ouch! Why you beat me?"

"How do you know it is safe to touch it? It could be an explosive item as you can see that there are wires in it." Cha-bo-lang said.

"No la, I think it is something that someone forgotten to collect when he placed it there to make payment only la."

"It is better safe than sorry."

"So how? Just leave it there lor and mind our own business and don't be K-poh la." Me then held my cha-bo-lang's hand and walked out of the Post Office.

"Lau Beng! How can you be so irresponsible? What if it really is a bomb? What if it exploded and tomorrow news will be flying everywhere then you think your big head can sleep peacefully again? 你良心过得过去吗?

"So what you want me to do? I want to bring it down and see, you don't allow me then now you say all these bo-liao things to scare me?"

"Call the authority to inform them of the suspicious paper-bag."

So me called 999 to make a report. (Actually don't know what numbers to call la, think 999 can handle everything one la.)

"Hello, Police Station, may I help you?"

"Eh, hello, I want to report something but don't know whether if this is the correct numbers to call. I saw a Paper-bag with wires inside which was left ......" So me told the police officer the location and description of the paper-bag.

The police officer told me that they will send someone down to check on it and took down Old Beng's particulars but me only told him my name without giving him my contact numbers.

We did not wait for the policeman to come and walked home.

There was no mentioned of anything in the Newspaper and me will never know whether what was in the paper-bag but like my cha-bo-lang said, "At least I can sleep at night liao."

lim peh kong wan liao

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  • At Tuesday, December 27, 2005 5:19:00 PM , Blogger dandan...™ said...

    guess u r lucky not to haf ani body contact with her..if not ur ear will be long long now..

  • At Tuesday, December 27, 2005 6:14:00 PM , Blogger lau hero said...

    Hey, as you said so, trying to read what's on her 2 size smaller T-shirt she's wearing, does it writen there, HEY, DON'T STARE, TOUGH IT if it is so, don't said step dance you are doing with her (let's forget abt yr cha-bo-lang) will you or not?

    2nd is u call 999 and given your name only, which phone you use to call that they cannot trace u, hello I think after your dinner yet you still 'shoot' the satay (how many?) beef? kong kong liao la, u go check up bo?

    I though u like being a hero?

  • At Tuesday, December 27, 2005 11:26:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Many years ago I used to stay at Clementi; the food at the hawker centre were very nice indeed! Now, I hardly hv the chance to go there.


  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 1:12:00 AM , Blogger F¡яєвџяN said...

    "Dolly Parton look-alike" ..wahlan erxin man hahahah

  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 3:35:00 AM , Blogger Xorpheus said...

    Can't imagine if you accidently bang into Dolly Parton's head light...
    Guess you gonna submit a full report to cha bo lang liao.

  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 11:27:00 AM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Yeah I was lucky if not sure internal injury :P

    Lau Hero
    阿弥陀佛! Me no eat beef.

    It's you who like to be a hero, your name already say so - "lau hero"

    Come come to Clementi la, me and my cha-bo-lang can eat good food with you.

    Why is Dolly-look-alike 恶心? So size doesn't matter in your case :p

    Yeah, sure must submit report to her and also must claim insurance cos sure injured one ha ha ha

  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 12:26:00 PM , Blogger 孺子牛 said...

    I agreed with Lau Hero that the police able to trace your number if you are using HP or residential phone. So next time, try using public phone.

  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 12:31:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Lau Qin
    Me know they can trace my HP numbers but no problem for them to trace me la, me no do wrong thing me no scared one :)

  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 12:44:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Hi Beng,

    Happy anniversary, merry xmas and happy new year.

    Could it be that the dolly Parton lookalike is actually my boss secretary who was at the SAM machine. The goon goon secretary left the paper bag containing the staff bonus worth about $50K.

    I was waiting for her in my lawli and she came back smilingly told me one yan tao cha cha with her. I asked her where is the money. And she "Oh my god...." She ran back and found the money still up there at the SAM machine.

  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 1:06:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Li ho, you go MIA again. Belated Merry Xmas and early Happy New Year to you.

    Huh? Your boss secretary so blur blur one ah, lucky for her to be able to get the $50K back. Wa-lau, bonus $50K, you must be loaded now with the bonus you received la. Buy me beer the next round we meet, ok?

    Ps: (Softly) Me don't mind to cha cha with her again :p

  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 1:18:00 PM , Blogger Mockingbird said...

    Thank you for doing your part in keeping Singapore safe from would-be terrorists :)

    Did your wife know you were enchanted by the big-boobs babe?

    My wife doesn't mind me looking at other cheobu becos she herself loves looking at both good-looking men and women :)

  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 1:25:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Hi old beng,

    No lah, neber go MIA lah. Still busy as usual. Year end, everybody getting ready to party. I @#$% have to deliver hampers for my $%^& boss, sometimes until 11pm at night. Bonus $50K ? Yeah…..the boss give himself $20K bonus and the rest to be shared among 30 staff.

    Got bonus or no bonus, nebermind, can still buy you beer the next time we meet.

    Tsk Tsk..I oledi asked Dolly, she shyly agreed to cha cha with yan tao again. She told me she is going to wear a t-shirt three size smaller this time and the wordings on the t-shirt “don’t drool”. Beng…make sure you can cha cha and don’t nose bleed.

  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 1:50:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    As a Singaporean, I'm just doing my little fair bit, anyway, it's just a phone-call away.

    My cha-bo-lang knows everything of me, nothing (concerning and involving me) under the sun can avoid her sharp eyes.

    Good wife of yours :)

  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 1:52:00 PM , Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

    Clementi central so happening meh.. will have BOMB meh!?

    Later I'll drop by and see SAM machine got any more bags or not, since I"m going over to pay my road tax.

    *CRIED* $$ FLY!!

  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 2:24:00 PM , Blogger lau hero said...

    Beng, u thk u call police they say thank you huh, mai siow la, they r hving training exercise same time c who the F so greedy took the bag, even if u do, contained old paper, thay y they dun even bother to trace u must have been thkg u took the bag contain money, like kio tio gu l.... u figure it hahaha

  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 2:37:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    2nd drop in the ocean to you la, no problem :p

    Lau Hero
    Yeah, maybe it's the TV "Gotcha" programme hor? Heng ah, me not greedy one and anyway my friend ahbeng_chao already said the nag belongs to his company.

    BTW I never pick any thing belonging to the GU (cow)

  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 2:38:00 PM , Blogger J.J. said...

    When I read this sentence 'me saw a pink paper-bag sitting on top of the S.A.M machine just above our heads. Nobody was around us and me could see the shadow of wires through the paper-bag.' Comes to my mind is that it might be a camera which was placed secretly to peep and steal your pin, not meh ? so old beng better check your account.


  • At Wednesday, December 28, 2005 3:01:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Thanks for your kind reminder but then hor, my account no money one la. BTW the paper got no holes so cannot record my pin numbers.

  • At Friday, December 30, 2005 12:19:00 AM , Blogger blueapple said...

    Hahahaha.. ur post made me chio ka peng!


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