Old Beng Went Shopping

lim peh ka li kong

Last weekend, me and my family went to shopping in Orchard Road again but this time all my children went with us. My buddy Ah Huat told me if old uncle like me went out already difficult to attract the attention of girls somemore bring my children with me lagi worst la, where got chio-bu (pretty sexy girls) would like to come and talk to me? This Ah Huat ah, married already still thinking of attracting girls, later Ah Huat Soh knows ah, then he "Or-bak-kak", I will laugh at him.

Actually, his thinking not right, everytime girl girl see me with my cute pair of 3-year-old twins, they sure will come and cho-cho us one. Sometime met girls more open-minded hor, when they see all 12 children calling me daddy, they will winked at me saying that I must be very strong one in order to have so many children. Sure must be strong la, you try carrying 12 children, no strength how can tahan? Luckily my cha-bo-lang always cooks good and healthy food for all of us and frequent work out also help me one.

We went to a big shopping centre and Wa-piang, whoever says Singapore got recession one ah, the people there buy things like no need money leh.

One thing I like to share, why are people so rude nowadays ah? During an interval of 30 minutes, I was knocked, pushed, brushed, elbowed, banged with plastic bags by many people and some more stepped by a fat aunty on my toes.

I understand that it is sometimes inevitable to knock onto someone especially if the area is crowded but at least apologised after that la, hello basic mannerism also dont have, is it?

Then hor, as if not enough unlucky, I kena another incident which almost landed me in jail and on the front cover of the newspapers.

I was carrying one of my twin daughters in my hand and there was this young lady wearing a pair of hipster jeans walking in front of me. Think this lady was about mid twenties, and her hipster was very low, at least half her moon-size can be seen.

Just as we were standing on an escalator moving upwards, to my horror, I saw my little twin daughter stretched her small hand and touched the lady´s backside who was standing in front. I wasn´t quick enough to stop my daughter and the lady in front turned around and asked me loudly, "Uncle, why you touched me?"

Oh My Gosh!!! I immediately apologised to her and explained that it was my little daughter who touched her and not me. But the lady refused to believed me and kept saying loudly as if she wanted the whole world to hear. "Dont use your daughter as an excuse to go around touching and molesting and raping young pretty girls like us hor, uncle!"

"Hello, miss, I already told you it was my daughter who touched you hor, not me and I already say sorry to you on behalf of my daughter, so you better watch what you say - what touching and molesting and raping?" "If you didnt do, why you apologised?"

Luckily at that moment, a middle age Malay aunty who was standing behind us all the while told the young lady that it was indeed my little daughter who had touched her and not me Old Beng.

"Er.. ok la, since this aunty said so but uncle, you must be more careful ma, if not people think you molester hor, somemore your hands got tattoo, look like lau ah beng, so cannot blame me"

Before I could say anything, she turned and walked away.

What have I done? Just because I had tattoo and look a bit fierce I am also a molester? Think must go for operation to get rid of my tattoo soon

lim peh kong wan liao