lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Funny Jokes Taken From Wendy´s Blog

lim peh ka li kong

Read some funny jokes from fellow blogger Wendy, must share them here.

Made some amendments on the names of the characters though.

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Lao Hero walks into a pub, sits down on a bench and orders a cold beer. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another.

He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes and orders yet another one. This goes on for at least an hour and a half.

Finally the bartender, bursting with curiosity, says, "I know it's none of my business buddy, but I have to ask. Why the whole "drink, look in pocket, cringe and order another one" routine?"

"Well," slurred Lao Hero, "There's a picture of my wife in my pocket. When she starts to look good, then it's time for me to go home."

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Lao Hero and his wife were watching TV when a TV evangelist came on air to Pray for the Sick.

The evangelist said. "For those of you who are sick, I want to pray with you so that you can be cured of your sickness. Place your right hand on the part of your body that is suffering from disorder, and raise your left hand."

Lao Hero placed his right hand on his privates, raised his left hand, and closed his eyes.

His wife saw what he did, and slowly whispered, "Honey, this prayer is to heal the sick, not to raise the dead!"

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3 men No Eyes, Lao Hero and Old Beng are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing woman.

These 3 dirty fellows 咸湿佬 fall all over themselves in an effort to be the 1 to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the 3 suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."

The young No Eyes speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."

"Oh, how childish," said the pretty woman, "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."

She turns to Lao Hero and says "How well can you do?"

"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts Lao Hero.

"My, my," said the pretty woman, "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the young man's sentence."

She then turns to the last of the 3 men and says, "How about you, Old Beng?"

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to No Eyes and Lao Hero and says....

Liver alone. Cheese mine.

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lim peh kong wan liao
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