My friend Lau Hero got some jokes again:
Lau Hero went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."
The next day, Lau Hero reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and Lau Hero explained: "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with-my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She - tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She - even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth-out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and-she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"
Lau Hero replied, "yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get the DAMN JAR OPEN!"
Lau Hero goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello.
He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her from. So Lau Hero says, "Do you know me? "
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery??? "
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."
Special appearances : Lau Hero & family.
Note : All jokes are not the creation of Old Beng, sources from emails and hear-say.
lim peh kong wan liao