lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Friday, October 14, 2005

My Boss And Me

lim peh ka li kong

Today I received an email from my friend and me cannot stop but laugh until tears come out from my eyes. Must share with all of you.

// Quote //

My Boss& ME

When I take a long time.
I am slow.

When my boss takes long time
He is thorough.

When I don't do it
I am lazy.

When my boss doesn't do it
He is too busy.

When I do something without being told
I am trying to be smart.

When my boss does the same
That is initiative.

When I please my boss
I am apple - polishing

When my boss pleases his boss
He's co-operating.

When I do well, my boss never remembers
When I do wrong, he never forgets

------------Or are we expecting this????------------

Hi Boss,

People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes

People who do less work...
make less mistakes

People who do no work...
make no mistakes

People who make no mistakes...
gets promoted

That's why I spend most of my time
sending e-mails & playing games at work
I need a promotion.

The end of the story is ........... GO BACK TO WORK ;o)

// Unquote //

* Source from Miss Bessie Lim *

lim peh kong wan liao


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  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 11:01:00 AM , Anonymous 666 said...

    Uncle old beng, thumb up to u,
    hahaha!!, these are facts of working life / wage earners, true to the very truth. hahaha!

    For me, papa is boss, he once told me, come here noti Angel and listen, "Rule nos 1 boss is alway right ok, and Rule nos 2, if he is wrong refer to Rule nos 1"

    Now he is old, hahaha! my time to revenge, COME here Daddy and listen " Rule nos 1, an angel is alway right........" hahaha!

    Me and my Boss for lady

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 11:10:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Wah.. this is inspiring...

    hehe.. thanks for ur enlightenment. =P

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 12:23:00 PM , Blogger Xorpheus said...

    Can i add in a bit. Cos i found this, in one of the email.

    Title: IF...
    If a barber makes a mistake,it is a new style.
    If a driver makes a mistake,it is an accident.
    If a doctor makes a mistake,it is an operation.
    If parents make a mistake,it is a new generation.
    If a politician makes a mistake,it is a new law.
    If a scientist makes a mistake,it is a new invention.
    If a tailor makes a mistake,it is a new fashion.
    If a teacher makes a mistake,it is a new theory.
    If your BOSS makes a mistake,it is a YOUR MISTAKE!

    What a fucked up theory.

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 12:43:00 PM , Blogger 孺子牛 said...

    Old Beng,

    I don't please my boss.
    I am just simply a boss balls-carrier.

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 2:13:00 PM , Anonymous ipromise said...

    Believe it or not, I humiliate my boss(only on the tennis court).
    Other times, I just have to press my 'you know what' and bear it.

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 2:35:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    How's it feel to be a boss?

    No thanks needed as I also been enlightened by my friend.

    thanks for sharing your "IF" - one addition:
    If a blogger makes a mistake, it may be a jail term. So all bloggers, be careful :)

    qin shi huang
    you in the freight line ah? Got carrier somemore :p

    yeah, I know what you pressed alright :D

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 3:23:00 PM , Anonymous 666 said...

    Hi! Uncle old beng and all,
    It friday, free from boss!!! hurray!

    Ooops! i am a lady, how to have boss to be a boss hahaha! they call me Madam with the capital M.

    Tell u guys a joke fm my lecturer.
    In our human body system, every parts want to be the boss and they said the ass should be the lowest worker of all, so the ass went on strike, the whole body system brokedown, heart pains, intestine jammed, brain malfunctioned, limbs weakened etc etc...all asking the ass to stop the strike, now said the ass, i wan to be the boss if not i will not let anything go. The rest replied weakly " OK we give up, sori, u be our ASSHOLE BOSS"

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 3:43:00 PM , Blogger 孺子牛 said...


    That joke I have heard it from my kindergarten teacher abt 30years ago. hahhahaha

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 3:54:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    qin shi huang
    Which kindergarten you were from? So bizarre! Teacher telling her kindergaten students story relating to Asshole?

    Ha ha, tell lies no need money?

    Your old friend - No Eyes See See

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 5:28:00 PM , Anonymous 666 said...

    Tks no eyes see see and u r right, cos when young, qin attended an asshole kindergarden and since then, it been asshole all along hahahaha!!!

    hahahah! laugh till belly pain hahaha!!!

    i am juz contributing

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 5:30:00 PM , Anonymous Also oldbeng said...

    Now Mr Beng, I dun call u oldbeng cos we are of the same group of beng, that's not the worst of all,have you band table wz your boss, no leh, have u tell yr boss FO, no leh, anybody do so...? will unless u r the boss, if not dun try 2 b funny, u receive a packet not in red n it's not CNY but in white, b it "peh kim" that's tell u it end of the world 4 u in tis company, got it....a piece of advice, do what u suppose 2 do and yr duty to do, others dun know leh. philosophy is "dun act smart, act blur" keep the ball rolling, what can u do man, right? agree?

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 5:50:00 PM , Blogger 孺子牛 said...

    No eye see see,

    Out of sudden, you appears. Really long time no see. But once you appear, i no eye see see leh.

    Not to deny that I really have attended a kindergarten which has talked abt Angel Asshole joke.

    Was too poor to attend those better ones. And I just spent one year for it, not like now you got to spent two years.

    I was expecting you to sprout some %^$&#^&, but you totally toned it down.

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 6:08:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    Suddenly I see Assholes flying around. To be frank, I do feel a bit of eye-sore but still can take it la. Pls tone down, can?

    No eyes see see
    Kam siah for coming into my blog and talk talk with old friends and thank you for not using your usual tone :)

    Angel mei mei
    You noti noti again, how can a nice lady/angel called a fine gentleman an asshole, somemore all along? :p

    also old beng
    Hus? Act blur not smart in order to survive in a company? This is new to me but thanks for your advice.

    lau qin
    Oei, pls dont invite no eyes to sprout %^$&#^& hor. Da ren bu ji xiao ren guo, ok?


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