lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Monday, October 16, 2006

10 Kinds of Girl Girl Me Scared

lim peh ka li kong

Although me like girl girl very much, there are some types of girl girl me very scared. Whenever me encounter such criteria of girl girl, me will "siam" away far far far....

1) Never like to bathe or rather seldom bathe and although she sprays a lot of perfume, the stench is still able to hit you right at your nose.

2) Bad-mouthed her friends behind their backs but appears to be very friendly and caring in front of them.

3) Act cute type when she is already above 30 reaching 40.

4) Like a toopid Octopus, everytime talks to a guy will address them as "sayang", "darling", "honey" etc, and will definetely have body-contact like touching the hand, shoulder, back etc of the man, bo-chap whether the guys like it or not.

5) All the @#€&%$ vulgarity comes out whenever she opens her mouth, better in-depth of vocab than lim peh.

6) Always thinks all the guys are trying to take advantage on her, just smile to her and she will tell the whole world you are interested in her.

7) Arm-pits never shaved and always raise her 2 arms in the air, not to mention the air pollution released at the same time. (Worse than the haze).

8) Always using her hand to flip her hair even when having makan at the same table together, darn scared ser-ka-ly my plate of rice got her hair and dandruff as additional side-dish.

9) Standing at the entrance of the lift like a statue rooted firmly and will never move her butt and if you accidentally knock her while entering the lift she will "Tsk! Ai-yo!" and stares at you with eye-sights like a pair of daggers.

10) Everything also "My mother says...."

lim peh kong wan liao

P/s: Lim peh will not be in town for a while, just in case the women all get angry with this posting and wanna have a word with me or bash meet me up. =_="""

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  • At Monday, October 16, 2006 11:05:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    hehehe that is very funny :)

  • At Monday, October 16, 2006 12:24:00 PM , Blogger yanZzz said...

    erm ...
    okok la .. but i think i wann to stress on no. 7
    i just saw it on tv got one air purifier .. now can get ride of bad and sour smell .. think nx time they shld invent a pocket pack .. then beng ! u smell it .. u can spray on them ..

    where u heading to ? for this long weekend ?? say la share share ..
    i admit . i am a KPOs

  • At Monday, October 16, 2006 12:37:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Thanks for dropping by and hope you can understand my Singlish.

    If I were to spray at their arm-pits, then me will probably be dead (bash to death by them).

    Sssssh, *softly* no la, me just say like that so that the angry women won´t come after me.

  • At Monday, October 16, 2006 1:34:00 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

    old beng's humour sense is better and better now! ^^

  • At Monday, October 16, 2006 3:49:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    NUMBER 2!

    Like my friend!!

    i got a schoolmate something like number 8 de! he stand infront of me during assembly. but he will shake his hair. then all the dandruff drop down. like snowing.

  • At Monday, October 16, 2006 3:53:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Kam siah, you flattered me *blushed* :)

    Eh... quite a sight right, dandruff like snow.

  • At Monday, October 16, 2006 4:08:00 PM , Blogger socute333 said...

    dandruff damn gross... people with dandruff also have oily hair... very smelly if they wash their hair onli once a week

  • At Monday, October 16, 2006 4:53:00 PM , Blogger Shaikha said...

    wa.... heng lah !
    Lucky I'm not in any of the 10 !.. so does that means u like having me as yr fren ?... hehehe

    Why arr Beng ? Why u kenot view my blog ??... sad ley... :(
    Try & try again hokay.. don gibub :)

  • At Monday, October 16, 2006 5:33:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    All your 10 kinds add up, also not as scary as the China girls.

  • At Monday, October 16, 2006 5:45:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Hiao Aunty
    Stay away from them lor.

    Of course you are my friend la, plus point is your Pineapple tarts look so good.

    No la, only sometime I have difficulty in going into your blog but many a times no problem, think it´s the computer setting.

    Why you think so? Hope you didn´t get too much trouble with them.

    I think not all China Girls are not good ones la. It´s more of how you treat them.

  • At Monday, October 16, 2006 6:34:00 PM , Blogger Elydia said...

    Hahahahahhaa!!! i got 10points!!!!! yippy.... uncle beng will u still want me as a friend? hahahahhaa....

  • At Monday, October 16, 2006 11:15:00 PM , Blogger Mrs Chong said...

    i like a few of them too...i mean i like ur points...not i like the girls...some i really kenot tahan...esp ur fren who act like she likes u a lot but she backstabbed u n summore want pretend to b nice...super kenot take tht..

    i very fussy one...

  • At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 1:08:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Beng, I agree with you that not all China girls are bad. I believe there are at least one or two good ones out of a million.
    I do not agree that it's more of how you treat them. If you are nice to them, they will take advantage and if you allow them, they will even climb and shit on top of your head.

  • At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 1:19:00 AM , Blogger Unknown said...

    hahaha... i agree, i also scared of this kind of gal.

  • At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 9:45:00 AM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Except for no (7) Arm-pits.... which me cannot verify, the remaining 9 points were not reflected on you everytime we met. Children cannot tell lies hor.

    Wise minds think alike?!? :)

    Maybe you are right cos me really have not much interacting with them. Anyway, to be able to have met is already a kind of fate. Hope you are well after all these encounters.

    Ai-yo, hope you are fine.

  • At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 10:21:00 AM , Blogger . said...


  • At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 11:23:00 AM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Anonymous 无名小卒



  • At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 11:37:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Beng, consider yourself lucky for not having to interact with 'them'.
    You are damn right when you say it's fate to meet one. It must have been the most fateful day in my life when I met this one.

    I'll survive. Tks.

    Mail you later.

  • At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 11:55:00 AM , Blogger socute333 said...

    hey this post is all about the ugly side of some gals... wat about the ugly side of some guys leh... i think the pts mentioned are vice versa

  • At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 12:31:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    oh shit. i fulfil point 5, ahhahaha

    but i only curse when i'm angry though. wahahahah

    nice post ;)

  • At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 4:27:00 PM , Blogger NA said...

    Fortunately, my social circle of ladies (mostly young ones) are all (it seems) NOT of the above-mentioned categories.

    But the 'Moni Ka chng' (if you know what mean) type is sure scary.

    Ok. I am actually uncomfortable in the presence of silly women. Mind so narrow and so limited. The silly but pretty type can scare the shit outta me.

    Cos they can be walking time bombs.

  • At Wednesday, October 18, 2006 12:46:00 AM , Blogger Dukester said...

    Heng ah, till now hv not met a gal with all 10 traits...else i wld not be alive....hahaha

    But den some is enuff to put me off. Esp (7), which is a speciality of P** gals....

  • At Wednesday, October 18, 2006 9:53:00 AM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Take care dude and wish you well.

    Hiao Aunty
    Come to think of it, you are right that the points are also applicable to men BUT 1, 4, 6 and 7 are almost the SURE signs of an average normal man :p

    Angry words are never nice but trust you are able to control yourself and not "letting go" in the public.

    》》my social circle of ladies (mostly young ones)

    You made all the uncles out there full of envious and jealousy =_="""

    Good that you have not met with gals with any of the 10 pointers BUT according to the old uncle generations, once spoken the spell will normally be broken...

  • At Thursday, October 19, 2006 3:59:00 PM , Blogger NA said...

    Make uncles and aunties jealous? Hmmm....

    I was suddenly reminded of a 'scary' (for want of a better word) encounter on a crowded MRT train on a typical working day.

    It was during the rush hour in the morning where everyone is rushing to work.

    I was seated comfortably with an empty seat beside me on a train.

    Then at a certain stop, one big, fat Malay auntie bashed her way through, with her elbows almost knocking a few obstructing persons off, with her eyes fixated on the empty seat beside me.

    Poor me has no place to retreat. She squueze her way into the seat with me being able to do little to halt her progress. By the time I wanna stand up, the train is as full as can be and it will be prety hard for me to get up and stand firmly.

    I was sulking and rebuking myself for being such an idiot in the first place.

    Lucky for me, she din sat on me. She is at least two and a half times my size lor. For those of you who have met me in person, you can visualise properly how uhm, substantial, she is.

    Next time, I will rather give up my seat and stand among banglas than suffer in silence like I did the other time. I aill also be more laert so as I can jump to my feet promptly before the catastrophe hits me...

  • At Thursday, October 19, 2006 4:38:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Wow!!!! You "tang-tio" man, closely sat with a female, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip and thigh to thigh, woohooo.

    WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! (Laugh until tears in my eyes)

  • At Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:07:00 PM , Blogger NA said...

    Can you show some sympathy to this poor neow?

    You want can give you... I buay gian arh...

  • At Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:08:00 PM , Blogger NA said...

    Now I think also shiver shiver.... Grrrrrrrrrr............

  • At Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:10:00 PM , Blogger NA said...

    Btw, I have made some amendments to my fat auntie episode comment and post it up on my blog.

    I am wondering how many of my friends are laughing when they see that entry...


  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 9:14:00 AM , Blogger noeyesee said...

    i dun know about yr frens but i m laughing like hell, admit it la kurakat u really enjoyed it la if not why u kept recalling the incident? i envy u hahahahahaha

  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 10:13:00 AM , Blogger NA said...

    Uhm... I didn't keep recalling it. And I dun like fat aunties. Dun need to envy me.


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