lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Friday, September 30, 2005

Old Beng In Trouble

lim peh ka li kong

Last night, me had a long and terok and bad night trying to reason out with my cha-bo-lang due to some misunderstanding issues.

At one time during our argument, my cha-bo-lang was down on her knees talking to me. (No la, I did not bull-shit you all la, she really kneeled down and talked to me). Dont be impatient la, read on my friends read on.

Last night when I got home, the whole atmosphere was very quiet and in total calmness, no children talking, no TV on-ing, no daughters or sons waiting to greet me at the door, the whole atmosphere was so quiet like nobody at home and it was only 9.30 pm. Die la, just like the bad storm coming prelude, total calmness and quietness.

My cha-bo-lang was sitting on the sofa waiting for me and all my 12 children were standing behind her looking at me as if I was really already a dead meat, if not dead yet also on the chopping board, any moment liao.

"Lau po da ren, I...I...I...", dont know why when I looked at my cha-bo-lang´s stern face, I cannot control my speech.

"I.. I what?" my cha-bo-lang looked at me calmly but I know deep inside she was very very very angry.

"I...I...I..." die leh, why I cannot talk properly? then a funny sound was heard "kek..kek...kek..." Wa-piang! my upper row and lower row of teeth were knocking uncontrollably.
(Er...me no frighten hor, just that our air-con was on for full blast)

"So, you always bluffed me say go lim chew with kaki but in actual fact, you went to look for mei mei, HUH?"

"No la, I where got? You know me one, NATO type, give me tiger heart and gut also dare not la." Then one of my daughter said, "Mummy, daddy not like that....." But before my little daughter could say anything further, my cha-bo-lang turned towards all 12 children and told them to go to bed immediately. Within seconds, the whole hall was left with only me and my cha-bo-lang.

"I...I..." just as I was about to explain myself, I let out a long loud fart "PHUUUUUTTTT!!!!!" Oh no, everytime I got excited or scared, I will inevitably fart.

"After you did your wronging, you still dare to fart so loudly?" She stood up and was going to twist my poor ear again.

Ai-yo, natural farting how can control one but how to reason with her especially at that moment when she was so angry?

"Huh, you noti now ah? Go find mei mei? Somemore bluf me only go drinking? and now still dare to fart so loudly and create air pollution and noise pollution huh? I know, you purposely showed me that you are not happy with me so answered by giving me your fart, is it? Lau beng, tonight you dont clarify your wronging done, I am gonna skin you alive."

Wah! Never had I seen my cha-bo-lang so angry so violent one. Good men dont fight with ladies so I quickly ran up to our bedroom to avoid a fight with her but my cha-bo-lang never gave up easily one and she followed me closely and pulled my ear on the way up the stairs.

I quickly speed up and ran into our bedroom and went hiding in my save bomb shelter and that was when my cha-bo-lang kneeled down and talked to me. "Lau beng, you come out from under the bed NOW!!!"

No way man, I am not gonna come out and then let her twist my poor ears again. Ai-yo, what have I done to deserve this? Hiding under our bed?

After about 1 hour, my cha-bo-lang finally stopped her scolding (think she felt tired and thirsty) and I had to use the toilet so bo-pian got to come out from under the bed.

Finally, after explaining and negotiating and with some conditions treaty agreed between us, the issue was finally resolved.

My cha-bo-lang had finally forgiven me and believed that I am still a good husband but now every month my pocket money is lessen by 20% and my cha-bo-lang had a new necklace and a promised trip every year plus I am not allowed to go drinking at night again (not for the next 3 months - heng ah, not permanent one)

lim peh kong wan liao

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