lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Old Beng And Lucky Draws

lim peh ka li kong

Last weekend, me and my cha-bo-lang went shopping again. (Ai-yo, friends, no choice la, my children's birthdays in average is very month) and also my cha-bo-lang's birthday, our first-time meeting anniversary, our marriage anniversary, my mum's birthday, my in-law's birthday etc etc so must always buy presents.

While walking near CK Tang's, we were stopped by a young man.

"Hello, sir, can you spare me 1 minute? We have a free lucky draw and a sure win prize waiting for you." The young man told us.

Me of course stopped and listened to him la, who knows, sekali me lucky lucky strike a big prize then can save money to buy presents.

"So, what prizes you have and how can I join the lucky draw?" Me asked the young man.

"We have a grand prize which is free accommodation in overseas 5 stars hotel and many electrical appliances and handphones and shopping vouchers and..."

Before the young man finished his speech, my cha-bo-lang pulled my hand and said, "Sorry, we are not interested" and my cha-bo-lang pulled me away from where we stood.

"But ... but... I want to try the lucky draw leh, who knows..." me refused to leave just like that since lucky draw was free one.

"Ok, then you can stay and have your lucky draw and I shall go to Isetan and shop first. You may join me later when you WIN your prize." my cha-bo-lang let go of my hand and walked away.

"Er...lau po..." before I could stop her, she walked away very quickly and the young man stopped me to fill up an entry form.

"Sir, before you have your lucky draw, I have to fill up your particulars first, ok?" the young man said.

"Name?"

"Old Beng"

"Age?"

"40"

"Sex?"

"Last time everyday now thrice a week"

The young man stopped his writting and looked at me with a very surprised look.

"Huh what? Oops, I mean male la. Actually no need to ask la, you cannot tell that I am a man meh?" Me answered quickly to cover my malu-ness.

"Occupation?"

"PKL, er... I mean office-boy."

"Do you stay in Condo?"

"No, HDB"

"Do you own a car?"

"No, but got 1 van"

"Do you have a digi-cam?"

"No"

"Any children?"

"Yeah, 12"

"Pardon?"

"12! One dozen! 十二! "

The young man stopped his writing and told me that I was not qualified for the lucky draw. I was puzzled and asked him for the reason and he told me that in order to be qualified for the lucky draw, one must earns at least a decent disposable income (minimum 2 thousands) and the ability to go for holiday every year but viewing my profile of having 12 children and don't even have a digi-cam and no car, definitely won't go for holiday and they only gave lucky draw to people who would attend their tour talk before the lucky draw.

In other words, if you were a low income earner, you are not qualified for the lucky draw.

What kind of lucky draw was that? Just because me no earn much and cannot afford to go for tour and no stay in Condo and no car and no digicam so cannot join the lucky draw? &?@$%£&% Phui. Sorry for the vulgarity.

Me angry and walked away, to join my cha-bo-lang for shopping, feeling very insulted.

When my cha-bo-lang saw me face black black walked to her, she told me that all lucky draws, especially those stopping you at the roadside, are most likely fake ones. Where got free lunch in Singapore?

Yeah, now I know.

lim peh kong wan liao

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18 Comments:

  • At Wednesday, October 19, 2005 6:22:00 PM , Anonymous no eyes see see said...

    uncle old beng
    12 children living in HDB and earning leass than 2K and working as an office boy?

    ha ha don't bluf la but your story is funny especially the Q&A part on Sex :)

     
  • At Wednesday, October 19, 2005 6:40:00 PM , Anonymous ling_n_pebble said...

    There are free lunches in Singapore Mr.Lim.I read in the newspaper.. :)
    ..temples..

    Ling

     
  • At Wednesday, October 19, 2005 6:43:00 PM , Blogger lau hero said...

    oldbeng

    tat wat i was thkg at the start, when i dun knw it u leh, some more now pples ask liao, 12 children cai kwai u dun stay in at least bangalow type, hee hee when u 1 2 move 2 palace type.

    anyway it sort of resort investment promotion ask u 2 sign up as member n when u go holidaying discount given n they plan ur trip, but hor 12 children they lugi so the young man is smart n right 2 reject u straigh in ur face, hei u never flash ur tiger n eagle meh, han satu lah

    no eyes see see

    托你红福,I got my blog liao, so wat abt u????? leh

     
  • At Wednesday, October 19, 2005 6:47:00 PM , Blogger lau hero said...

    ling_n_pebble

    u vy sincere leh, do u knw oldbeng he is the same as u, so nxt time look out 4 him, easy 2 spot him no need c tiger eagle 1, a cha bo n 12 ging na kia following behind, as u said temple free food mah, hee hee hee

     
  • At Thursday, October 20, 2005 9:26:00 AM , Blogger old beng said...

    no eyes see see
    Let me say it one last time:-
    The best truths are jokes and the best jokes are true. Anyway, fact or fiction is not important la as long as you enjoy my stories :)

    Ling
    Yeah you are right, I usually go to the temple with my wife on the 1st and 15th of the lunar calender months and on vegetarian food on these 2 days.

    lau hero
    kam siah for always coming into my blog to give comments but can you pls talk only about Old Beng and not so much on the actual me?

     
  • At Thursday, October 20, 2005 2:15:00 PM , Blogger lau hero said...

    oldbeng ah oldbeng

    jus promotion of u ma, ur tiger eagle also will b my topic liao, or is it tiger run away n eagle fly away liao leh, scare scare leh
    so 这个九月初十九观音旦 u go 4th horse road bai bai,do u? n also bring along ur 12 ging na kia then pples can find u la

     
  • At Thursday, October 20, 2005 4:37:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    lau hero
    Dont need to promo for me la, 感谢夹唔该.

    I am ok if you need my tiger and eagle to write your blog but then hor, just started your blog so fast run out of idea meh?

     
  • At Thursday, October 20, 2005 5:54:00 PM , Blogger lau hero said...

    wa u so good monitoring my blog everydays huh

    anyway juz finish one blog, go read n laugh la n no need ur tiger n eagle for story, I hv created a background statistic liao, so pong chan pong chan la

     
  • At Thursday, October 20, 2005 6:07:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    lau hero
    So what, you suan me monitoring your blog and then in the end ask me to go see see your new blog.

    Confusing leh :)

    No la, just joking, me sure go read your blog everyday to support you one la.

     
  • At Thursday, October 20, 2005 7:03:00 PM , Anonymous xorpheus said...

    I kana before they like to hang around at Orchard. They say i won what LJ top prize can go round the world. Hence,they make me sit in for their seminar.End up, they rob my 4 hour away...
    Phui! Phui! Phui!
    Old Beng,they will brainwash u to be their member and buy their rubbish package... si mi rubbish time sharing thing la.
    Anyway its all Bullshit! I think its better you go shopping with your cha-bo-lang

     
  • At Thursday, October 20, 2005 10:32:00 PM , Blogger 孺子牛 said...

    Old Beng,

    I bought this type of timeshare resort 10 years ago. Kena conned by a pretty girl lah.

    At that time, there wasn't any lucky draw, but came with some goodies.

    Those resorts are actually situated very ulu ulu one, those nearer to the main cities are always fully booked. Eventually, I didn't pay the annual membership, and it was terminated.

     
  • At Friday, October 21, 2005 8:42:00 AM , Blogger old beng said...

    xorpheus
    ha ha think you are smarter than qin cos you only kena robbed 4 hours of time and qin kena robeed time and cash. (courtesy of a pretty girl he saw)

    BTW, is it okay if I quote some of your blog issues in my blog? (Just like what I did with "Ghost's entry on songs"?

    lau qin
    one of my cousin also got sign-up with this type of time sharing hotel but according to him, the resorts he stayed, some were a bit ulu but some were ok. He went to japan and stayed in Kyoto (Think it was a 3 star hotel) and also went to Korea, Bali etc.

    Probably you chose a wrong rescort huh, but accordingly to him the membership fees per year is rather high, about S$700.

    I know to join this type of time sharing memberships required at least a 5-digit enrolment fees, right?

    lau qin, you very the rich :)

     
  • At Friday, October 21, 2005 10:06:00 AM , Blogger 孺子牛 said...

    A 5 digit initial purchase is required, subsequently it needs annual membership (or they called it maintainance fee on your 'owned' resort). I pay less than $200 for membership, guess your friend is very rich.

    Advise not to take it up. Why must you restrict yourself for only those resorts, should take up tour group instead.

    I went to Kengting resort, Tainan for a week. By the third day, I couldn't tahan (only see mountains and sea) that i booked a hotel in Kaosiong and spent the next four days there. Similarly, this also happened in my other overseas trips.

     
  • At Friday, October 21, 2005 10:24:00 AM , Anonymous ipromise said...

    Beng, me cannot remember how many lucky draw me participated but not even a fart(lian ge pi dou mei you)
    Anyway, me lucky never kena join any timeshare or bedshare resort. Just realised me starting to use 'me' instead of "I" lately. Wonder why hor?(me never say 'hor' before!! what's happening to I?)

    Beng, just curious. When you were busy making so many babies, did you ever go to Family Planning center. The reason why I ask, because my one friend who is also quite productive(he has 7 children and he nicknamed them Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti) was telling me about the time he went to the Family Planning centre. That day, the centre happen to do some repair work at the front gate and put up a sign to apologise for inconvenience caused and to use another entrance. So, under the Family Planning Sign, they put up a temporary sign saying: "Use rear entrance"

     
  • At Friday, October 21, 2005 10:36:00 AM , Blogger old beng said...

    ipromise
    Me and my cha-bo-lang send greetings to you and your family. Yee? old beng me always use me and my ... ha ha contagious leh. BUT if I were to teach my children, then I make sure they use proper and correct English.

    Your kawan story very funny leh, what us rear entrance... ha ha wa-piang like that also can.

     
  • At Friday, October 21, 2005 6:55:00 PM , Anonymous ling_n_pebble said...

    Mr.Lau,
    I don't understand you..hee..hee..
    Have a day!:P

    Ling

     
  • At Friday, October 21, 2005 8:18:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    Ling
    Mr lau hero thought you are also vegetarian and go temples often that's why he said you and I the same type.

    I agree with you, sometimes lau hero writes comments I also don't quite understand one, very chim.

     
  • At Saturday, October 22, 2005 4:59:00 AM , Anonymous ling_n_pebble said...

    Cute! :)

    Ling

     

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