lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

10 Signs Of A Male Driver

lim peh ka li kong

10 signs you know the driver is probably not a woman

1) While in stationary positions, sure will see 1 or 2 digging their nose.

2) Blasting the audio at the highest volume, scared people don´t know he has a POWERFUL system.

3) Cannot wait for even a second or 2, start to honk when you don´t start driving when the traffic lights turn green.

4) Driving at above 80 km/h regardless of Expressway or small roads.

5) Either too lazy or simply bo-chap to indicate signals when he needs to turn or change lanes.

6) Although deliberately forgets about the signal function, never forgets to honk at other drivers when given a chance.

7) Never, ever will ask for direction. Real MCP!

8) He will never stop when the traffic lights turn Amber but speeds faster to beat the Red lights.

9) Always thinks that he is the best driver in the world.

10) Cannot stand seeing young pretty girls driving nice cars with the remarks in his head, " tsk, tsk, must be a mistress to a filthy rich old man or driving the family´s car."

lim peh kong wan liao

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26 Comments:

  • At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 11:48:00 AM , Blogger Kenny Ng said...

    haha... now male's turn pula, quite true oso... allow me to add some.

    1. If u see those car modified like going into F1 circuit... must be a guy

    2. Exhaust modified to big big n loud loud sound then show off the sound even they drive damn 9 slow.

    3. Those always highlight u from behind, like wanna rush to pangsai or reborn even u drive quite fast at the fast lane.

    Anyway... thanks for drop by, i like ur blog too... keep on!

     
  • At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 12:01:00 PM , Blogger Sunflower said...

    hai, and a lot of men drive very dangerously

     
  • At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 12:32:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Again, let me add few more points.

    11) Car decorated like a sport car with all accessories, but drive like a tortoise.

    12) A male Benz driver is normally driving very slow.

    13) Normally, those cars have windows covered with blinds/dark shades belong to male drivers. Just wonder how can they have a good view on the road. Of course, it comes in handy in the night....

    Anyway, I partially agreed with your points:-

    (3) Yes, I can't wait as many drivers are taking their own sweet time to move especially when you are turning right. Do you know how fast the green light will change to red?

    (4) I drove 120km/h in Expressway, 80-90km/h in normal road. I believe it is not how fast you drive that causes accidents, it is how safe and how fast you react.

    I hate slow driving drivers, blocking my way especially if the speed limits is 90km/h yet they are driving at 60km/h on the outer lane. These drivers should drive van or lorry. Stop causing traffic jams in our expressway!

    5) When you indicate signals, no one will give way. Then better don't indicate. Whose fault is that? Whether indicate signals or not, it is not a big issue! Most importantly is to check your blindspot when changing lane. So what you indicate signals as if you have the right of way to change lane. Nevertheless, there are too many drivers once on the signal and start changing lane, this is what it causes accidents. My observation is these are normally woman drivers, as they don't have the habit to turn their heads to check, simply relying on the side mirrors, this is not enough!

    7) I always have my street directory with me.

    8) Very true indeed. But again I do it because I don't want to get ram by the car especially lorry from behind. That is where I usually observe the rear when I approach the traffic junctions.

    9) I am not the best driver. I am still observing the traffic rules except the speeding. I don't stop at Yellow box where many idiotics drivers did, stopping other drivers from turning out. I don't stop at bus stops/yellow lines, etc. I prefer to wait at the carparks or alighting points where it is safer to do that.

     
  • At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 1:44:00 PM , Anonymous lao hokkien lang said...

    beng, how many points will you score?

     
  • At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 2:43:00 PM , Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

    jialat....

    HOW!? I score all except point 9!!

    I'm not a man leh!!!!

    *runs away screaming*

     
  • At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 3:09:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    Kenny
    Yes, Singapore also have 1 and 3 but 2 now not many cos will be booked by Traffic Police.

    Sunflower
    Sadly to say, you are very right :(

    Anonymous
    Ha ha, me like your 11) Car decorated like a sport car with all accessories, but drive like a tortoise.

    Yes, there are many idoits who stop their car in yellow box, really nb.

    Lao Hokkien Lang
    Surprisingly, I got a few and I tend to drive faster when I am driving alone.

    Spinnee
    All except point 9!!!!

    Eeeeee!!!! You also do point 1!!!

    *also run away screaming*

     
  • At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 4:36:00 PM , Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

    oh fuck. i forgot to say i never score that...

    i only dig my nose in the toilets.. *runs away screaming again*!!!!!!!

     
  • At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 5:28:00 PM , Blogger 洛奇飞 said...

    Old Beng,

    Out of 10 signs, how many signs do you actually have? If you have all signs, wow... you are a real true man!!!

    But there is one sign either male or female driver must have it: carefulness!

    呵呵,呵呵呵.....

     
  • At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 6:21:00 PM , Blogger YenYen said...

    Yes!! 燕子飛is corect, "CAREFULNESS"!!

     
  • At Tuesday, August 15, 2006 6:52:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    Spinnee
    Me cannot run anymore, too tired liao. With or without point 1, think you score more than I do.
    =_=""" (crawls away screaming)

    燕子飛
    Me score only 5/10.

    Yenyen
    Yes, carefulness is very important.

     
  • At Wednesday, August 16, 2006 12:34:00 AM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    坐偶老弟的車,每個早上都好像拿命來博﹗ 提心吊膽,坐不安,睡不下﹗ 瘋狂急轉彎,狂踩煞車﹗男生駕駛真比女生好很多嗎﹖﹖

    不然… 不然﹗﹗

    最起碼坐老娘偶開的車車,包管你舒舒服服又不會被載得暈頭轉向﹗頭昏腦脹﹗坐偶弟的車,要吃驚風散﹗

     
  • At Wednesday, August 16, 2006 7:38:00 AM , Blogger 欣架打鳥人 said...

    Four signs that the driver is singablogger:
    1. Curse all drivers who drive too slowly.
    2. Scold all drivers who give way turning cars, which does not have the right of way (hmm this probably doesnt happen much in singapore).
    3. "diu" all pedestrians who cross road slowly even after light has turned green (hmm, again singapore drivers are probably spared this nonsense).
    4. F all drivers who cannot respond within 0.01 seconds when the light turned green.

    If you are slow, dont cross path with me!
    The road is not meant for people who are SLOW.

    hahahahaha!

     
  • At Wednesday, August 16, 2006 11:56:00 AM , Blogger old beng said...

    一只熊
    妳是对的。男人驾车比较“凶”,女人比较“小心翼翼”,因此才会有我所写的 “十大” 男与女司机的差别。
    男人的凶,所以比较鲁莽。
    女人的小心,所以比较 “惊死” 也因而慢。

    欣架
    尬拿晒!
    当真把公路当你“阿公”的路?

     
  • At Wednesday, August 16, 2006 12:42:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Driving is a skill which many Singaporeans are lacking of, being it a male or female.

    The current driving test is too easy as compared to my time when I have to pass it by driving along Newton Road, Chinatown. Now, they are too much focusing on the circuit, not much on-the-road practical lessons. The new drivers should go for defensive driving.

    Accidents are caused not because of speeding, it is the lacking of ability to control the car. Even when starting the car, the driver can ram the car over the curb.

    Driving too slow can cause accidents too. The case of Pan Ling Ling is a good example. In fact, the TP should revise the rule that minimum speed is 50km/h on all roads unless under certain circumstances. This is to prevent cars for being driving too slow.

    How not to speed? The car now is so powerful especially European car that even you engage the third gear (just an example as most cars are auto now), it has already exceed the speed limit. By driving in low speed, it is not fuel efficient and also cause damage to the piston, 'dragging' the engine. Worst still, causing accidents as 'fast' drivers most likely to overtake.

     
  • At Wednesday, August 16, 2006 1:47:00 PM , Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

    I agree there's not much good drivers around.

    but can't attribute just to TEST alone lo... anyway, the test only started when u pass your test and go out to drive! isn't it!?

    passing the TP test doesn't mean they can drive.
    -_-"

    it's like having a degree doesn't mean u are the best brain around.
    having a dick doesn't mean u r the best fucker too.

    so, that means, it's nothing to do with the test. it's just something to do with the culture & behaviour of the pple. plus, there's not much of exciting roads here. not challenging enuff. in all, it's also the education system as well.


    oh fuck, i shan't rant too much here. in summary. A behaviour cannot be attribute to just one factor alone... ;)

     
  • At Wednesday, August 16, 2006 2:36:00 PM , Blogger old beng said...

    Anonymous,
    Whoever you are, pls leave a name for recognition.

    You said, "Accidents are caused not because of speeding, it is the lacking of ability to control the car."
    I do not agree with you, I think most accidents were caused due to the factors:

    * Lack of sleep
    * Lack of concentration
    * Reckless driving
    * etc etc

    You said, "How not to speed? The car now is so powerful..."
    Tsk tsk, what kind of excuse is this? By driving above the speed limit especially on small road is definitely wrong.

    Spinnee

    Me like the way you said, "it's like having a degree doesn't mean u are the best brain around.
    having a dick doesn't mean u r the best fucker too." :))))))

     
  • At Thursday, August 17, 2006 12:09:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    It's like having a degree doesn't mean u are the best brain around - Sound true on the surface, but why the PAP government has not even engaged a diploma holder to be a minister!

    The test is important to impart the necessary skills and knowledge to the new drivers. Similarly, if you have obtained a degree in just a year (there are U offering a year, and even can obtain by paying money) or any U which are not too well-known, do you think you have armed with the knowledge? Let me tell you, in India there are some IT degree graduates which you are experienced enough you will not take in these so-called 'IT foreign talents', only a few U are recognised in the market.

    Why the government has revised the speed limit to 60km/h on certian roads? Why they have increased it to 90km/h in expressway? Why the lorry/van/pick-ups speed limit is raised? They knew the answer well that the vehicles are getting powerful/better and of course with consideration of safety, this has to change to suit current situation.

    I have more to write especially comparing the skills of 80s, 90s and current drivers. With the better road infrastucture, well-lit road, better safety measures in place, yet the accident rates are higher. Of course, you may blame on the increased car population, but don't forget that the percentage of land used for roads are low then. During end 70s to early 80s
    when the economy was damn good, do you know how many drivers drunk and drove, yet they are able to control the cars with lower accident rates as compared to now.

    Challenging roads? Those days are Old Upper Jurong Road, Neo Tiew Road, Lim Chu Kang Road, PIE has not even constructed, yet drivers drove at 90km/h. I was one of them.

     
  • At Thursday, August 17, 2006 12:28:00 AM , Blogger Dukester said...

    Hahaha...i agree also...cos am guilty...hahaha

    But like to add...

    1 -> woman does dat too, u'll be surprised!!

    3 -> Taxi driver's trait

    5 -> Am beginning to believe dat luxury cars (read: Jap made esp SiFeiLou & CamLan) dun come with signal lights....hahaha

    10 -> Sometimes only lah, esp if car costs more than 200k & driven by someone dat looks younger than me...hahaha

    Am really guilty as charged!!!

     
  • At Thursday, August 17, 2006 1:05:00 AM , Blogger yanzzz said...

    wa lau !!
    ur dao li really dao li leh!
    but who the HELL got so many nose SHIT to dig out ! always dig nose meh !!

    hahaha

     
  • At Thursday, August 17, 2006 9:38:00 AM , Blogger old beng said...

    Anonymous-still-no-name
    Although me don´t know why PAP no diploma holder but me know we had a President who was a "A-Level" holder.

    I agree with your points on "U" graduates of the India IT personnel :)

    You said, "I have more to write..." please feel free to drop by more often.

    Challenging roads? Me have never driven there then.

    If you drink, don´t drive.
    If you drive, don´t drink.
    If you drink and drive, don´t drive near me :p

    Just a request, can you, in future, leave your name as Anonymous Driver, for recognition?

     
  • At Thursday, August 17, 2006 9:44:00 AM , Blogger old beng said...

    Dukester
    No need to feel guilty la, Men are men BUT I do know that your drive pretty well :)

    Yanzzz
    Kam siah for dropping by. Went to your blog, wow 171 postings!!!!

    Got 道理 sure got 理由 one.

    Didn´t mean 1 male driver digging the nose only, but many male drivers will dig gold when car is in stationary.

     
  • At Thursday, August 17, 2006 10:07:00 AM , Blogger Shaikha said...

    hahaha.. u DID come-up wif this list ya !!

    Frankly speaking, I've been to places where traffic is at it's worst kind.. to name afew - India, Egypt, Indonesia... however, I am also amazed of how skillful these drivers are ! I don't think Singaporeans can ever drive like them. In spite of the chaotic traffic, they hv a very good road etiquettes and gave way willingly.. u juz need to signal yr intention (either with light, hand or even just moving in slowly)..the driver bhind will automatically slow down & give u way willingly.
    Try doing it in Singapore ! They drive slowly & the moment u give signal to filter.. suddenly they ZOOM faster !! (and surely cursing u in their car)... BLAME IT ON STRESS (since we hv blamed everything else on this poor thing)...

    For sure I've noticed this - the male drivers (NOT ALL) cursed at any road that displeased them, while when they do exactly the same thing...it's ok..
    IT'S ALWAYS THE OTHER DRIVER'S FAULT !!!!

     
  • At Thursday, August 17, 2006 10:30:00 AM , Blogger 顽皮鸟 said...

    Old Beng,

    Cool! You score 5/10, it is full mark! This means you are a responsible driver.

    Unlike those mad dog drivers who always like to 'hao lian' their new cars and driving skills, thought that all roads belong to them, such '路霸' must be banned from driving for their whole life!

    Haha,hahaha.....

     
  • At Thursday, August 17, 2006 10:58:00 AM , Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

    aiya oldbeng, if he wanna be known he would have done long ago. dun bother to ask la... kekeke i email u later. i roughly know who la.


    Hey anonymous prick, you zin boliao leh. I'm not from govt how the hell I know why dip not in govt? Do I look like a govt to you? tsktsk...

    There's no right/wrong views. Just that, your way of classifying accidents is too shallow...: there's no such thing as one contributing factor in any thing in this world.

    I still wanna reiterate:
    A DRIVING TEST is not a sign that one is a finished product but an indication a person is prepared to drive. The licence does not cover or guarantee the driver can drive correctly, though they have been taught/informed of the rules.

    You know and I know it's true. ;)

     
  • At Thursday, August 17, 2006 11:38:00 AM , Blogger 欣架打鳥人 said...

    Old Beng, the road is not mine la. That's why I very fedup with those 鳥人 who like to treat the road as if it's their private property -- they think they can do whatever they want (eg. take own sweet time) on the road, others cannot critise them. Then when I horned them, those bird men cannot tahan and go drop their bird-shit everywhere. hahahahaha!

     
  • At Friday, August 18, 2006 9:08:00 AM , Blogger old beng said...

    Shaikha
    You are so right about the changing lane with and without give signals. Guess all drivers kena such treatment.

    打疯狗
    Thank you, yes I am a responsible driver cos me very scared accident and quarrels.

    Spinnee
    Me too agree that a driving license is the basic need and skill should improve there after.

    欣架打鸟人
    I think all of us must do our part to be a nicer driver and achieve a better driving environment.

    But come to think about it, quite strange, once me is behind the wheel, me tends to be more hot temple. Must change.

    A Word To All:
    Hopefully the current "Bird Flu" and "Rabies" syndrome will die-off soon.

     

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