Jokes Jokes

lim peh ka li kong

Know a few jokes, share with you:

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Old Beng was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbour, Lau Hero, came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

He opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.

A little later he came out of his house again, looking nervous, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again.

Angrily, back into the house he went. As Old Beng was getting ready to edge the lawn, here our Lau Hero came again, looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it shut harder than ever.

Puzzled by his actions, Old Beng asked Lau Hero, "Is something wrong?"

To which the ferocious Lau Hero replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"

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Old Beng caught his friend Lau Hero searching high and low all around his living room.

Old Beng: "What are you searching for?"

Lau Hero: "Hidden cameras!"

Old Beng: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"

Lau Hero: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel'. How does he know that?"

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Having lost his donkey, Lau Hero, got down to his knees and started thanking God.

Old Beng saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?"

Lau Hero replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

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Lau Hero is appearing for his University final examination.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window.

He then removes his tie and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

"Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," Lau Hero says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'."

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Old Beng and Lau Hero were sitting outside a clinic.

Old Beng was crying like hell.

So Lau Hero asked, "Why are you crying?"

Old Beng replied, "I came here for blood test"

Lau Hero, "So? Are you afraid?"

Old Beng replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"

Hearing this Lau Hero started crying.

Old Beng was astonished and asked Lau Hero, "Why are you crying?"

Lau Hero replied, "I have come for my urine test."

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Lau Hero goes to a hotel and eats heartily.

After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.

The manager comes running and asks him, "Mister, what are you doing?"

To this Lau Hero replies,"Oye, see the board here, " Wash Basin ".

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Me really have to kam siah Lau Hero for his special appearance in my jokes :p

lim peh kong wan liao

All jokes are not the creation of Old Beng, sources from emails, hear-say and magazines.