lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Me And My Big Mouth

lim peh ka li kong

Lately me seems to be having some problems with my cha-bo-lang; Apparantly me no match with her leh when come to mind game or is it that me a little bit over suspicious?

Me vividly remembered that it was during the fifteenth day of the Lunar Calendar night while we were having our usual routine stroll after our dinner in a park nearby our house.

When strolling slowly, my cha-bo-lang was looking and admiring the big bright moon in the sky while me trying to fan the irritating mosquitoes away from me. Wonder why the mosquitoes only like to bite me? Ha, think my blood more tasty la.

While me was busying looking out for the mosquitoes, my cha-bo-lang suddenly turned towards me and said, "Lau Beng, you very good huh? 你干的好事。I am very disappointed with the mistake and wrong done by you!"

The moment me heard her saying "你干的好事" and saw her eyes open big big looking at me, my sweat started to come out from my forehead, neck and back despites it was a rather windy night.

"Eh... 老婆, what...you mean mis...mis...mistake ah?" Jia-lat, begin to stutter some more.

"You still dare to ask me? You don't even know what wrong you had done?" My cha-bo-lang answered me back with questions.

In my heart, me was thinking "Die la, this time really jia-lat" and my mind was racing wildly trying to recall what mistakes and wrongs I had done lately.

"Why? Keep quiet only huh? 默认 right?"

"No la, how to admit when I don't even know what wrongs I have done?"

"哼!! Don't admit your mistake, done. You can jolly well sleep in the hall tonight for all I care."

Oh no, gonna be 厅长 tonight again?

"No la, I want to sleep in the bedroom la, please tell me what wrong I have done? I really don't know leh."

"You better confessed before I get more angry." My cha-bo-lang replied sternly.

"Eh... eh... is it because last weekend I striked 3rd prize never tell you?" Me was thinking, how come she know I secretly strike 4D?

"Nope, it's not this issue." My cha-bo-lang replied.

"Then is it because that day I secretly watched the (RA) Japanese vcd at Lau Hero's house?" Me was thinking must be Lau Hero accidentally spilt the beans. Wa-lao, brother, how can leak out like that, very dangerous to me one you know?!

"Nope, it's not about you hum-sup men watching pornographic movies." My cha-bo-lang gave me a disgusting look which made me feel shameful and dare not look at her.

"Eh... or is it because I secretly went to eat fried chicken and french fries during my lunch time?" Wondering who is the busy body from my office who told my cha-bo-lang I ate unhealthy food for lunch?

"Ha! Not this issue also."

"Eh... eh... eh..." My mind was a complete blank then.

"Still cannot think of the mistakes?" My cha-bo-lang stared at me with her 2 big round eyes.

Then something came into my mind, must be this issue la.

"Eh... sorry la 老婆, me only look at the girl girl. No motive one la, you know me what, NATO one. Give me 老虎胆 also dare not do anything one la, just see see look look with appreciation only ma."

Upon hearing my confession, my cha-bo-lang nodded her head and walked home quietly. Me dare not to utter a single sound and followed quietly behind her trying to figure out what's her mood now?

"老婆... " Me trying to talk to my cha-bo-lang.

"老婆 what? So you have been doing all these wrong things behind my back huh?" My cha-bo-lang turned and talked to me. "If I don't question you, you just keep quiet and silently doing all those wrong things."

"Huh? You... you mean you didn't know all these things ah?"

"So, Mr Beng, how much did you strike for your 3rd price huh? You not only hum-sap, you are eating junk food for lunch and look at girl girl and drooling all the way! Don't you know your spare-tyre is getting bigger everyday?"

Wa-lao eh, think I kena tricked by my cha-bo-lang already, me and my big mouth.

Because of this incident, my 4D prize all gave to my cha-bo-lang and my pocket money from her was lessen drastically thus not able to eat fried chicken again, 唉!!

Any friend working near me can buy me good lunch or not? Me have been eating bread as lunch (packed by my cha-bo-lang) since then.

lim peh kong wan liao

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23 Comments:

  • At Thursday, February 16, 2006 7:17:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Mr.Lim,

    OOrrrr..now I know..
    ..now I know you've spare tyres on your waist..ha!
    ..ahh,bread is good, luckily she didn't make you drink water only..and not mineral water ya..water from the tap..hee!

    Regards,
    Ling

     
  • At Thursday, February 16, 2006 8:01:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    Hiao lah... Ka Cheng Jiu La.. Serve u Right! LOL

     
  • At Thursday, February 16, 2006 10:37:00 PM , Blogger Elydia said...

    Ahhahahahahahaa!!!! Can i say 打情骂悄? Kekeke... In a way i do think its really sweet the way she dig truth from u... She got her way to make u guilty n get her answer... Good!!! Moi must learn from ur cha-bo-lang liao... kekeke...

    Elydia treat u n cha-bo-lang? Think if cha-bo-lang know elydia treat sure let u eat right? I miss the food over at ur side... long time din go back liao...

     
  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 10:38:00 AM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Ling
    Yeah lor, CNY period too much good food thus a little construction in the middle :(

    一只熊
    Yeah, 咎由自取, 自己衰多口,怨不得人。

    Elydia
    Thank you for offering to buy Uncle makan but no, if you come we will buy you makan instead :)

    Singablogger
    I have already cross-check with Lau Hero and he confirmed he did not leak out any info and after much consideration, I am very sure that before that night, my wife knows nothing of those issue which I myself admitted to her, sigh....

     
  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 11:43:00 AM , Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

    *can't stop laughing*

    ahahhaahahahaha

    Sorry not I'm being sacarstic, but oh my god, how could u do so much things behind her back? lol..

    anyway.. just tell her. when u look at pple, there's no motive. it's a natural action by humans to look when something is in motion. it's neuro stuff, can't be help.

    hope u two are ok now though. and I CAN"T agree with u keeping the 4D prize on ur own!

    even i strike $60 consolation, i spent everything on my love ones :P

     
  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 12:48:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    lau beng, you got sala not?

    15th day of the lunar calender ain't we at restaurant enjoying papa's reunion dinner meh??? after that balek kampong so late liao still got time to stroll meh ??? u mean u sneak out during the dinner to have little stroll with other girl girl but later confused and now picak lobang issit?? issit??? issit??? ROOOO...AA...RR...!! tonite u come home u habaes liao!! think put your misbehaviour on your blog to sweet talk sweet talk a little, lao niang will let u off issit?? tsk tsk tsk, your ear lobe will touch the floor liao i tell u (i better tell elydia xiao meh so she can come to see the nineth wonder of the world this time - lau beng's earlobe drooping and sweeping the floor like that basset hound dog we see that day)!!

    and as for lau hero, u also very naughty hor, invite lau beng watch porn vcd, nanti i make u sit and give you 2 hrs long of moral education lesson see u takot anot, dun mar-yin mar-yin with cha bor lang, my bite is worst than my bark ok!!
    umm, i think that is not enough, better tell our good friend ah lee korkor (that matar in teh korh) to catch u then u scared!

     
  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 1:08:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    JIA-LAT liao JIA-LAT liao, cha-bo-lang 发威 liao

    Eh... no la, me remembered sala, not the 15th night but 16th night la.

    No la, Lau Hero never invite me to watch pron vcd, that vcd was supplied by Mr Lee (that police in shorts) and it was a RA Japanese movie only, not those XXX kind la.

    Sorry hor Lau Hero, you kenna wrongly accused for nothing, my apologies.

    SIGH..... tonight my ear will sweep the floor :(

     
  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 2:04:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    查某人

    老熊有算盤﹗如果有需要熊可以全年贊助﹗還有提醒妳、家庭小用品其實也很方便、想必你家裡一定有很多衣夾子、它們都是妙用無窮的呢﹗把你盡有的衣夾全壓在老明的臉上、然後狠狠的抽空、哇那種痛、老明會永遠記得的﹗就不敢亂造次啦﹗

    記得嘴巴要都壓滿、讓它腫得像香腸、他就真的變大嘴巴了耶﹗哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

     
  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 2:09:00 PM , Blogger Elydia said...

    Cha bo lang:
    Wahahahahhaa.... i really can't stop laughing.... *Thumbs UP!!* wondering do i have a chance to really see that ninth wonder of the world? think others will be very interested to see too.. :Þ sorry uncle beng... hahahahaha.....

     
  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 2:15:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    哇老,一只熊,妳认真靠害啦!
    Somemore give suggestions? Jia-Lat liao la this time.

    Elydia
    You another one 靠害 number 2, still want to invite others to see somemore?

    Hmmmn, maybe can start to collect entry fees to see my long ear-lobe since me now 发钱寒

     
  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 2:39:00 PM , Blogger Elydia said...

    Wa... 一只熊你也真够狠的。想必你一定用过此招来对付某人。老明叔你有难了...

    老明叔:
    Elydia 并非有意陷害但既然令夫人邀约看奇观小女怎敢不赏脸呢?与其他人好友一场有好东西是应该分享的吗.. Elydia 并非自私人噢!! 哈哈哈哈...说真的这确实是个千载难逢的捞钱好机会.

     
  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 2:42:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    老明

    如果真要靠害、熊早就建議查某人去參考滿清十大酷刑了﹗衣夾是小case、如果查某人有本事找到那種古代的手夾子、套在你十根手指頭間、夾﹗夾﹗夾﹗哇﹗那才叫痛、好不好﹖噢﹗熊又不小心說了什麼嗎﹖:P

    查某人、你就饒了老明吧﹗用筷子自己做,他比較不會那麼痛﹗小小的懲罰他一下就好了﹗

     
  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 8:30:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 8:33:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    老英雄

    唉。。搖頭啊我。。

    這是老明跟查某人之間的情趣﹗你這個呆瓜﹗老古板﹗傻得咧﹗

     
  • At Saturday, February 18, 2006 12:50:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    一 只 Ms 熊,

    hey howdy,
    哈 ! 不 怕 不 怕, 老 娘 我 军 火 充 足,早 就 有 做 好 准 备,蛤 壳 and casuarina tree pine fruit for kneeling..ke ke ke...

    lau beng really 咎 由 自 取 lor....


    elydia 小 妹,

    wa u really the 独 乐 乐 不 如 众 乐 乐 !! : )

    emiryo,

    durian too expensive liao, i have been stocking up on cockle shells 蛤 壳 (and casuarina tree pine fruit), 听 说 小 时 候, 家 里 哥 哥 姐 姐 们 犯 了 大 错, 就 是 被 老 爸 老 妈 罚 在 祖 先 灵 牌 前 罚 跪 的 leh, 现 老 娘 如 法 泡 制, effective a not? dun know yet, tomorrow u ask lau beng lah...but one thing for sure, my idea quite 环 保 right?? can re-use and re-use again, machiam recycle plastic bags like that.....

    as for ah lee kor kor,

    罚 他 请 我 十 客 小 笼 包, 看 他 以 后 还 敢 不 敢 再 jio lau beng 看 R(A)XX 戏 ??


    哈 !看 见 蟑 螂, 我 不 怕 不 怕 啦,不 怕 不 怕 啦,啦 啦 啦 啦 啦......
    (lau beng's favourite song recently)


    n lau hero hor,不 要 乱 乱 咚 咚 锵 ha, wait I release my ah pweei gao to bite your backside then u know leh…..

     
  • At Saturday, February 18, 2006 2:23:00 AM , Blogger dandan...™ said...

    hahahaa..

    Mrs Old beng is so smart!!!!
    Muz learn!!
    高招!! 高招!!

     
  • At Saturday, February 18, 2006 1:47:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    sigh... Lao Hero.. typical old china man.. 朽木不可雕

     
  • At Saturday, February 18, 2006 6:47:00 PM , Blogger blueapple said...

    LOL... crap leh!!

     
  • At Monday, February 20, 2006 1:06:00 PM , Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

    forgive him bah mrs old beng..

    i think he sure learn his lesson liao ba...kekekekekek

    *can't stop laughing*

     
  • At Tuesday, February 21, 2006 12:43:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    哈哈哈

    老英雄竟然在跟老明撒嬌耶﹗羞羞臉﹗哈哈哈

    再說~ 你不是什麼珍貴的木﹗你是朽木﹗

     
  • At Tuesday, February 21, 2006 5:02:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    木頭腐朽了,已經沒有可雕刻的價值,即使雕刻也不會成型 = 朽木不雕

     
  • At Wednesday, February 22, 2006 3:18:00 PM , Blogger Mockingbird said...

    Ha? Look at girl girl also cannot ah? Isn't that quite miserable? ;p

     
  • At Wednesday, February 22, 2006 4:16:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    =__=""""

    你應該感謝七海﹗沒有她的壯烈犧牲,哪兒會顯得你名字的好聽。。sob sob..

     

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