lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Me And My Big Mouth

lim peh ka li kong

Lately me seems to be having some problems with my cha-bo-lang; Apparantly me no match with her leh when come to mind game or is it that me a little bit over suspicious?

Me vividly remembered that it was during the fifteenth day of the Lunar Calendar night while we were having our usual routine stroll after our dinner in a park nearby our house.

When strolling slowly, my cha-bo-lang was looking and admiring the big bright moon in the sky while me trying to fan the irritating mosquitoes away from me. Wonder why the mosquitoes only like to bite me? Ha, think my blood more tasty la.

While me was busying looking out for the mosquitoes, my cha-bo-lang suddenly turned towards me and said, "Lau Beng, you very good huh? 你干的好事。I am very disappointed with the mistake and wrong done by you!"

The moment me heard her saying "你干的好事" and saw her eyes open big big looking at me, my sweat started to come out from my forehead, neck and back despites it was a rather windy night.

"Eh... 老婆, mean mis...mis...mistake ah?" Jia-lat, begin to stutter some more.

"You still dare to ask me? You don't even know what wrong you had done?" My cha-bo-lang answered me back with questions.

In my heart, me was thinking "Die la, this time really jia-lat" and my mind was racing wildly trying to recall what mistakes and wrongs I had done lately.

"Why? Keep quiet only huh? 默认 right?"

"No la, how to admit when I don't even know what wrongs I have done?"

"哼!! Don't admit your mistake, done. You can jolly well sleep in the hall tonight for all I care."

Oh no, gonna be 厅长 tonight again?

"No la, I want to sleep in the bedroom la, please tell me what wrong I have done? I really don't know leh."

"You better confessed before I get more angry." My cha-bo-lang replied sternly.

"Eh... eh... is it because last weekend I striked 3rd prize never tell you?" Me was thinking, how come she know I secretly strike 4D?

"Nope, it's not this issue." My cha-bo-lang replied.

"Then is it because that day I secretly watched the (RA) Japanese vcd at Lau Hero's house?" Me was thinking must be Lau Hero accidentally spilt the beans. Wa-lao, brother, how can leak out like that, very dangerous to me one you know?!

"Nope, it's not about you hum-sup men watching pornographic movies." My cha-bo-lang gave me a disgusting look which made me feel shameful and dare not look at her.

"Eh... or is it because I secretly went to eat fried chicken and french fries during my lunch time?" Wondering who is the busy body from my office who told my cha-bo-lang I ate unhealthy food for lunch?

"Ha! Not this issue also."

"Eh... eh... eh..." My mind was a complete blank then.

"Still cannot think of the mistakes?" My cha-bo-lang stared at me with her 2 big round eyes.

Then something came into my mind, must be this issue la.

"Eh... sorry la 老婆, me only look at the girl girl. No motive one la, you know me what, NATO one. Give me 老虎胆 also dare not do anything one la, just see see look look with appreciation only ma."

Upon hearing my confession, my cha-bo-lang nodded her head and walked home quietly. Me dare not to utter a single sound and followed quietly behind her trying to figure out what's her mood now?

"老婆... " Me trying to talk to my cha-bo-lang.

"老婆 what? So you have been doing all these wrong things behind my back huh?" My cha-bo-lang turned and talked to me. "If I don't question you, you just keep quiet and silently doing all those wrong things."

"Huh? You... you mean you didn't know all these things ah?"

"So, Mr Beng, how much did you strike for your 3rd price huh? You not only hum-sap, you are eating junk food for lunch and look at girl girl and drooling all the way! Don't you know your spare-tyre is getting bigger everyday?"

Wa-lao eh, think I kena tricked by my cha-bo-lang already, me and my big mouth.

Because of this incident, my 4D prize all gave to my cha-bo-lang and my pocket money from her was lessen drastically thus not able to eat fried chicken again, 唉!!

Any friend working near me can buy me good lunch or not? Me have been eating bread as lunch (packed by my cha-bo-lang) since then.

lim peh kong wan liao

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  • At Thursday, February 16, 2006 7:17:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Mr.Lim, I know.. I know you've spare tyres on your waist..ha!
    ..ahh,bread is good, luckily she didn't make you drink water only..and not mineral water ya..water from the tap..hee!


  • At Thursday, February 16, 2006 8:01:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    Hiao lah... Ka Cheng Jiu La.. Serve u Right! LOL

  • At Thursday, February 16, 2006 10:37:00 PM , Blogger Elydia said...

    Ahhahahahahahaa!!!! Can i say 打情骂悄? Kekeke... In a way i do think its really sweet the way she dig truth from u... She got her way to make u guilty n get her answer... Good!!! Moi must learn from ur cha-bo-lang liao... kekeke...

    Elydia treat u n cha-bo-lang? Think if cha-bo-lang know elydia treat sure let u eat right? I miss the food over at ur side... long time din go back liao...

  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 2:26:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    > Wa-lao eh, think I kena tricked by my cha-bo-lang already, me and my big mouth.

    That is obviously one way of interpretation...

    though it is also possible (and probable too) to write another version whereby your cha bo lang did already know everything beforehand (eg. it really did happen that "Lau Hero accidentally spilt the beans"). Then in that case, you would have been right to say to lau hero: "brother, how can leak out like that..?!". And then whether you open your mouth to admit yourself or not is not going to make any diff, since it is not a case of you kena tricked. It depends on how it is written lor.

    Also depend on how much details your cha bo lang revealed when she initially said: "I am very disappointed with the mistake and wrong done by you!". If she already revelaed enough concrete details, then probably she got the info from "the busy body from my office who told my cha-bo-lang". But if it is just a blanket thing, then it is a bluff lor.

    Depends on how much intuition you have too, to read the situation. Anyway, nobody knows the truth except your cha bo lang :)

  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 10:38:00 AM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Yeah lor, CNY period too much good food thus a little construction in the middle :(

    Yeah, 咎由自取, 自己衰多口,怨不得人。

    Thank you for offering to buy Uncle makan but no, if you come we will buy you makan instead :)

    I have already cross-check with Lau Hero and he confirmed he did not leak out any info and after much consideration, I am very sure that before that night, my wife knows nothing of those issue which I myself admitted to her, sigh....

  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 11:43:00 AM , Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

    *can't stop laughing*


    Sorry not I'm being sacarstic, but oh my god, how could u do so much things behind her back? lol..

    anyway.. just tell her. when u look at pple, there's no motive. it's a natural action by humans to look when something is in motion. it's neuro stuff, can't be help.

    hope u two are ok now though. and I CAN"T agree with u keeping the 4D prize on ur own!

    even i strike $60 consolation, i spent everything on my love ones :P

  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 12:48:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    lau beng, you got sala not?

    15th day of the lunar calender ain't we at restaurant enjoying papa's reunion dinner meh??? after that balek kampong so late liao still got time to stroll meh ??? u mean u sneak out during the dinner to have little stroll with other girl girl but later confused and now picak lobang issit?? issit??? issit??? ROOOO...AA...RR...!! tonite u come home u habaes liao!! think put your misbehaviour on your blog to sweet talk sweet talk a little, lao niang will let u off issit?? tsk tsk tsk, your ear lobe will touch the floor liao i tell u (i better tell elydia xiao meh so she can come to see the nineth wonder of the world this time - lau beng's earlobe drooping and sweeping the floor like that basset hound dog we see that day)!!

    and as for lau hero, u also very naughty hor, invite lau beng watch porn vcd, nanti i make u sit and give you 2 hrs long of moral education lesson see u takot anot, dun mar-yin mar-yin with cha bor lang, my bite is worst than my bark ok!!
    umm, i think that is not enough, better tell our good friend ah lee korkor (that matar in teh korh) to catch u then u scared!

  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 1:08:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    JIA-LAT liao JIA-LAT liao, cha-bo-lang 发威 liao

    Eh... no la, me remembered sala, not the 15th night but 16th night la.

    No la, Lau Hero never invite me to watch pron vcd, that vcd was supplied by Mr Lee (that police in shorts) and it was a RA Japanese movie only, not those XXX kind la.

    Sorry hor Lau Hero, you kenna wrongly accused for nothing, my apologies.

    SIGH..... tonight my ear will sweep the floor :(

  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 2:04:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...




  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 2:09:00 PM , Blogger Elydia said...

    Cha bo lang:
    Wahahahahhaa.... i really can't stop laughing.... *Thumbs UP!!* wondering do i have a chance to really see that ninth wonder of the world? think others will be very interested to see too.. :Þ sorry uncle beng... hahahahaha.....

  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 2:15:00 PM , Blogger Old Beng said...

    Somemore give suggestions? Jia-Lat liao la this time.

    You another one 靠害 number 2, still want to invite others to see somemore?

    Hmmmn, maybe can start to collect entry fees to see my long ear-lobe since me now 发钱寒

  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 2:39:00 PM , Blogger Elydia said...

    Wa... 一只熊你也真够狠的。想必你一定用过此招来对付某人。老明叔你有难了...

    Elydia 并非有意陷害但既然令夫人邀约看奇观小女怎敢不赏脸呢?与其他人好友一场有好东西是应该分享的吗.. Elydia 并非自私人噢!! 哈哈哈哈...说真的这确实是个千载难逢的捞钱好机会.

  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 2:42:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...




  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 2:58:00 PM , Blogger emiryo said...

    Uncle, don't say liao, don't make anymore replies or else leak out even more info... you see now you even drag Mr lee into it... LOL!

    You wife damn good... if my girl like that I every night have to kneel on durian shell...

  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 8:04:00 PM , Blogger lau hero said...

    everybody, listen to me lau hero said something,
    bear bear, I think you learn all this from your parent, must be cos you are naughty n that's the punishment they gave you, you can shut up now if not bros beng离家出走,i got no room for him.

    2nd is beng cha bo lang is not that unreasonable type, my point here is if beng is the cow, he dun drink water....ah...cow story, gu mai lim chwee an chua chee gu lim chwee it, so the so call dvd dun point gun at me, I will turn green ok.

    you dun sabo beng but the way you add petrol or oil is fast, beng dun need suntan liao cos he alrdy chao tar liao

    Beng's cha bo lang, I call you ah beng soh ho bo, you buay pai sey ah, lao fu lao chi so many year liao, you treat him like that mea, close la bedroom door and talk, beng got so many body ache problem you dun know mea, ask him sleep hall, raining then how wind strong how, he whole body shake one u know, pan chance la and if you really want to torture him then I bare all for him la, cha bo lang some more, ai.....cheng sim ah.

    Beng u say sorry buay to Mr Lee, he's reporting for call up again soon, that mean he carry gun, please lah huh, I dun want c news of this like the last few day paper public. Anyway you also damn cock, you admit like drink water like that, guurrrruuu.... finish, 封你做偶像 liao la....buay tahan you, like that next time how you want to come my house, kaoz

  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 8:30:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At Friday, February 17, 2006 8:33:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...




  • At Saturday, February 18, 2006 12:50:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    一 只 Ms 熊,

    hey howdy,
    哈 ! 不 怕 不 怕, 老 娘 我 军 火 充 足,早 就 有 做 好 准 备,蛤 壳 and casuarina tree pine fruit for ke ke...

    lau beng really 咎 由 自 取 lor....

    elydia 小 妹,

    wa u really the 独 乐 乐 不 如 众 乐 乐 !! : )


    durian too expensive liao, i have been stocking up on cockle shells 蛤 壳 (and casuarina tree pine fruit), 听 说 小 时 候, 家 里 哥 哥 姐 姐 们 犯 了 大 错, 就 是 被 老 爸 老 妈 罚 在 祖 先 灵 牌 前 罚 跪 的 leh, 现 老 娘 如 法 泡 制, effective a not? dun know yet, tomorrow u ask lau beng lah...but one thing for sure, my idea quite 环 保 right?? can re-use and re-use again, machiam recycle plastic bags like that.....

    as for ah lee kor kor,

    罚 他 请 我 十 客 小 笼 包, 看 他 以 后 还 敢 不 敢 再 jio lau beng 看 R(A)XX 戏 ??

    哈 !看 见 蟑 螂, 我 不 怕 不 怕 啦,不 怕 不 怕 啦,啦 啦 啦 啦 啦......
    (lau beng's favourite song recently)

    n lau hero hor,不 要 乱 乱 咚 咚 锵 ha, wait I release my ah pweei gao to bite your backside then u know leh…..

  • At Saturday, February 18, 2006 2:23:00 AM , Blogger dandan...™ said...


    Mrs Old beng is so smart!!!!
    Muz learn!!
    高招!! 高招!!

  • At Saturday, February 18, 2006 12:54:00 PM , Blogger lau hero said...

    哎哟,你们俩公婆真是的,耍花枪是这样的吗?还是老明要求你这样对他。。。hmmmm 老明我掉眼镜哦,原来你是这个种类的。

    小母熊熊, 我不是傻也不呆,我是那种进进去去我们新加坡有名的饭店常客,以前在‘亚兰卡由’现在是在‘友主港’你懂吗?就因为我太聪明了才会有这个待遇, 你要跟我分享吗?

    阿明嫂,你不这样对待你老公的死堂吧? 狗狗好啊我喜欢,放马过来看看是谁咬谁的屁股啦,你这苦刑一定是老明从我的秘籍教你的,难怪他每次来都要看这本秘籍,他真是这样吗?

  • At Saturday, February 18, 2006 1:47:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    sigh... Lao Hero.. typical old china man.. 朽木不可雕

  • At Saturday, February 18, 2006 6:47:00 PM , Blogger blueapple said...

    LOL... crap leh!!

  • At Monday, February 20, 2006 1:06:00 PM , Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

    forgive him bah mrs old beng..

    i think he sure learn his lesson liao ba...kekekekekek

    *can't stop laughing*

  • At Monday, February 20, 2006 4:28:00 PM , Blogger emiryo said...


  • At Tuesday, February 21, 2006 10:51:00 AM , Blogger lau hero said...


    老明,你看啦,你看啦 现代的年轻人是这样的吗?

  • At Tuesday, February 21, 2006 12:43:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...



    再說~ 你不是什麼珍貴的木﹗你是朽木﹗

  • At Tuesday, February 21, 2006 4:28:00 PM , Blogger lau hero said...

    朽木又是什么木呢,种生在哪呢,请解吧? 我对木是一点都不通的。

  • At Tuesday, February 21, 2006 4:55:00 PM , Blogger Scarletr0se said...

    Hahahahahahhahaa. Your wife is soooo funny man!!!!!! LOL!!!!!! I like her! :D

  • At Tuesday, February 21, 2006 5:02:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...

    木頭腐朽了,已經沒有可雕刻的價值,即使雕刻也不會成型 = 朽木不雕

  • At Wednesday, February 22, 2006 3:18:00 PM , Blogger Mockingbird said...

    Ha? Look at girl girl also cannot ah? Isn't that quite miserable? ;p

  • At Wednesday, February 22, 2006 3:43:00 PM , Blogger 中村愛恵 a.k.a cha bo lang said...

    (ok, borrow scooby scrabby doo's theme)

    tartartartartar!!....puppy power!!....

    thank's to dandan and bear bear, this is ah moi's new name liao :


    clap clap...clap clap... : )

  • At Wednesday, February 22, 2006 4:16:00 PM , Blogger 一隻熊 said...


    你應該感謝七海﹗沒有她的壯烈犧牲,哪兒會顯得你名字的好聽。。sob sob..


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