Superstar

lim peh ka li kong

Those of you who know Old Beng will know that he "has" 12 children, the eldest one 小马哥 already 17 years old liao and the youngest one only 3 years old.

One night during dinner, one of Old Beng´s sons, 小明仔 a 13-year-old Secondary 1 student suddenly announced that he would like to participate in the Campus Superstar 校园 Superstar next year.

"Kor, you want to be like Shawn Tok ah?" one of his sister 小白兔 asked.

In case you did not watch the TV telecast on the 校园 Superstar last Saturday, Shawn Tok, a 13-year-old Secondary one boy, was the overall Champion of the Singing competition.

"Yes, I think I can sing as well as Shawn" 小明仔 replied his sister with a smile.

Their eldest brother 小马哥 saw that Old Beng´s face was rather black when he heard what 小明仔 said about his intention to join the 校园 Superstar, said, "小明仔, you are too young to make such decision, you need to seek the approval from Pa first."

小明仔 turned and look at Old Beng and asked, "Pa, I am thinking of joining the 校园 Superstar next year, what do you think?"

To be honest, although me do not really like the idea of the way they throne the 歌王 or 歌后, that is by voting through phone calls and sms-ing, but this is only a kind of Marketing programme, a very successful one, I must say.

I am alright with Singapore Idol, Superstar, Superband, Live The Dream etc BUT lim peh is totally against 校园 Superstar.

Lim peh´s old fashioned mind always believes that a student´s role is to study and not thinking and wanting to be a star 发明星梦 or 歌星梦.

Watching the students singing and dancing and dressing up like a star is something lim peh cannot bear. Students are sometimes too young to understand their roles but what puzzled me is that their parents supported them into taking part of the contest.

How about the Teachers and Principals of the students? So supportive, so proud of their students who got into the final? Lim peh see already also buay tahan.

This is just not right!

Then best of all, the news of the contestants, who and who are an item la, who has a steady girlfriend/boyfriend la etc. Students are supposed to concentrate in their studies la and not these nonsense relationship.

Call me old fashioned 老 uncle 老古董, I am 100% against 校园 Superstar.

Therfore, Old Beng´s little 小明仔 will be concentrating in his studies and will not be taking part in the 校园 Superstar.

Those of you who want to support him by voting for him, I will be more than happy if you can just donate the cash to lim peh.

Hmmm, maybe lim peh should go for the Live The Dream and my beloved readers can help me to fulfill lim peh´s 明星梦 by voting me all the way to Championship. Lim peh no longer a student la.

lim peh kong wan liao

TV Commercials

lim peh ka li kong

Today lim peh did something very stupid BUT for the sake of my cha-bo-lang I have no regrets in doing so and I will do it again if she wants me to.

Before telling you about the stupid act, let me share with you my views on the few advertisements which are air-ed in our local tv channels lately.

Recently, I have seen a few advertisements: some darn funny but some really cannot make it.

The 1 which me think really cannot make it is the stoopid dinosaur after drinking the drink left peacefully, somemore shed a tear...der.

1 that me like very much is the "... so how do you spell it...Singapore... hello... Mumbai... Mumbai la ..." and the Indian man shook his head in utter disbelief that some guy actually trunk-called to order food in India from Singapore, ha ha LMAO.

Another one is the one where 2 gangster-look-alike men demanded from the shopkeeper for "Can you give me Anything" and the shopkeeper offered everything except the drinks and was humtum-ed makes me smile, not because of the violence but the comical facial expression.

Lastly, the recent "Takuya Kimura 木村拓哉" Gatsby Moving Rubber is quite cute although many find the commercial quite bo-liao.

Ok, back to my stupid act this morning.

My cha-bo-lang wasn´t feeling well when she woke up and according to her, the ceiling was spinning when she tried getting out of bed.

Before I left for work, I raised my both hands and pull my hair (although not much hair by comparison), and I started to sing, "Give me Gatsby... la la la la..." and did the slow body spins and swaying my body in slow motion JUST LIKE Takuya Kimura 木村拓哉 in the Gatsby commercial.

My cha-bo-lang looked at me, don´t know to cry or laugh, (不知好气还是好笑) but she laughed at last.

Yeah yeah I know la, this middle-aged fatty-bom-bom uncle cannot compare to the 万人迷 Takuya Kimura 木村拓哉 but to see my cha-bo-lang laughing at my stupid act is worth my effort.

lim peh kong wan liao

Angry Old Beng

lim peh ka li kong

One Saturday morning, lim peh woke up late (no work on Saturday, very shiok ah) and went to a coffee shop in my neighbourhood to 打包 炒米粉面 packet fried beehoon-mee for breakfast.

When I reached the coffee shop, there was already a long queue at the stall. Counting the numbers of heads in front of me, I was the number 6th customer and standing in front of me was an Auntie with a head of red-hair.

While waiting for my turn, the queue behind me got longer by the seconds and when I turned around to look at the long queue, I saw about another 8-10 people behind me.

The red-hair Auntie queuing in front of me turned her head to the long queue behind me and saw a man queuing 4-person away from me and said, "Ah Lim, come come, what you want to but, I buy for you la, I in front faster."

I turned around and stared at that man whom the Auntie was talking to.

The man queuing behind us declined the Auntie´s offer and said, "Neh mind la, I can queue up myself."

The Auntie refused to accept "No" for an answer and further offered her help, "Come la, don´t shy, I buy faster, what you want?"

The man accepted her kind offer and told the Auntie to packet Nasi Lemak for him.

Although me was staring at the Auntie, she seemed not to notice my dagger stare and continued to queue up as if nothing happened.

In my mind I was thinking, why these people like that huh? Cannot see that all of us were also queuing up meh?

Then that red-hair Auntie turned around again and called out to another man queuing at the end of the line, "Mr Tan, you also want to buy beehoon mee is it, come come, tell me what you want, I buy for you."

Lim peh turned around to look at that Mr Tan and discovered that he was a man about my age.

Mr Tan immediately declined her offer by saying, "It´s ok, I will line up myself. Thanks"

The Auntie like really cannot take "No" as an answer continued to say, "come la, no need to be shy one la, if not you have to wait very long."

That´s it!

One person cut queue still not enough now offering another one. Guess if me kept quiet, there might be the 3rd, 4th and Xth ones down the road.

Lim peh looked at the Auntie and said, "Hello, why are you buying for others? Can´t you see that there are many of us queuing up too? Why not you buy for everyone behind me? It´s not fair to the people queuing up, right?"

The Auntie was stunned and said, "He is my friend."

"So what if he is your friend? If the person is your child, I won´t mind."

I think that Auntie was really stunned that someone dare to actually interfere into her business of offering to buy thus kept quiet after that or maybe my black face really very fierce.

What surprised me was that of all the people queuing behind me, none said anything. They just kept quiet and watched the free show, dare not even breathe too loud.

Come on, if the person you are offering to help is an elderly, a pregnant lady or a handicap person, I won´t mind to let them cut the queue but those 2 were healthy men.

Even now when me think about the incident, me still angry.

Guess at times, Singaporeans are just too timid and submissive and dare not even voice out their unpleasantness even if unfairness is done to them.

Will you voice out like lim peh or will you just keep mum cos "it´s none of my business"?

lim peh kong wan liao

PS: Now that I think back, I was rather surprised at my harsh word towards the Auntie, maybe there and then, a hungry man was an angry man.

Dentist

lim peh ka li kong

Got one night, me suddenly woke up from lim peh´s deep sleep with a sharp pain on my teeth.

@#€$%&@! At 2 am, the pain was very acute and bo-bian, me went to the toilet and brushed my teeth. Surprisingly, the brushing helped to stop the toothache and lim peh could sleep again.

The following few days passed as usual with no pain but during 1 night while I was visiting my mum in the Hospital (she had a spinal operation), the darn toothache hit me again.

Despite brushing my teeth 3 to 4 times that night, the pain stayed with me and just refused to subside.

The next day, me quickly visited my usual Dentist - Dr Chey at Paragon and after a quick check, my Dentist advised me to proceed to NDC (National Dental Centre) to do an X-ray prior to any extraction/operation. Dr Chey was very nice, despite checking my teeth for about 5 minutes, he did not charge me any fees.

When me reached NDC, wah-lau, there were about 20 - 30 people waiting for their turns before me.

After more than an hour of waiting, me finally met a young, pretty Dentist - Dr Tong Huei Jinn (Department of General Dentistry). She checked my teeth and sent me for X-ray taking, 2 X-rays some more.

By the time the X-rays were ready, it was already 5:20 pm and after viewing my teeth which was decayed near the root of my inner upper molar, Dr Tong Huei Jinn fixed the extraction the morning after.

So, the decayed molar tooth was the one giving the problem and since I was there for the extraction, Dr Tong Huei Jinn had also planned to do some thorough scaling, cleaning and fillings at the same time.

The next morning, me met up with Dr Tong Huei Jinn again and after cleaning, drilling, scaling and fillings done by her, she told me, "Mr Beng, I have finished my part and now I will introduce my colleague to you to do the extraction of your decayed molar."

HUH!?!?!? Why must change colleague?

"Eh... may I know your colleague is a boy or girl?"

"He is a boy."

"Is there any specific reason as to why there is a need to change to him instead of you doing it?" Of course I did not tell her that I prefer girl girl to boy boy.

"Boy has more strength to pull out the molar." Dr Tong Huei Jinn answered with a smile.

WA-PIANGZ!!!!!

Don´t say not scary hor when lim peh heard her saying got more strength to pull out my molar. =_="""

Luckily, her colleague, Dr Soong Poh Luon (Department of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery), a young man, was very gentle and well-experienced. After injecting LA into my upper jaw and near the inner upper Molar tooth, within 15 seconds, the decayed molar was out from my mouth.

Dr Soong Poh Luon told me that there might be some pain after the LA wore out and if the pain was untahanable, I can eat some pain killer. Although the lobang was quite big, he did not stitch the wound up for me.

The LA lasted for about 2 to 3 hours and the pain sneaked onto my mouth quietly, pretending to be un-noticeable.

That night, before I went to bed, I swallowed 2 panadol and slept soundly.

The following day was a Saturday and although NDC was closed on that Saturday, Dr Soong Poh Luon still arranged to review me at an outpatient clinic just to make sure that the wound was not bleeding and healing well.

So, if you are having teeth problem, please make an appointment with NDC or any private dental clinic cos lim peh tell you, no pain is like toothache and furthermore, the Dentists nowadays are all young, friendly and good looking. Many many handsome young men and pretty girl girl :)

lim peh kong wan liao

A Snake In The House

lim peh ka li kong

Today early early, 天未光、狗未吠, sky also not yet fully bright and dog hasn´t even bark, the rapid knockings on my bedroom door woke lim peh up. It´s our maid knocking our bedroom door and she told us a shocking piece of news, "got snake in the house, sir."

Me quickly rushed out to the kitchen to take a look to see if it really was a snake or maybe just an earthworm.

Snake (Oh-oh, seen by them liao)

or

Earthworm? (Not me la, me playing happily in the park)

When me took a look, nabeh, really got a snake but luckily it was still only a baby snake, the full body length of about 10 inches. (The body is black in colour with a triangular head and some white lines around its body)

lim peh very clever one, took a pair of normal chopsticks to try to pick the baby snake by its neck. (Me always see on National Geographic Channel, the experts always catch hold of the BIG snake easily, bare-handed somemore).

While lim peh was concentrating hard trying to catch the baby snake with the pair of chopstick, a roar hit me from behind, "Lao Beng, what are you doing? Catching a poisonous snake with a pair of stupid chopsticks? Kiang tio hor, mai keh-kiang." My cha-bo-lang was standing behind me.

She took a pair of metal tongs from the drawers and while she tried to pick up the baby snake, the snake was agitated and numerous times, the snake stood on its belly and attacked the tongs. The baby snake actually moved around rapidly and stood up with a "I-am-ready-to-bite-you" posture.

Luckily, within few minutes, cha-bo-lang caught hold of the baby snake and put it into a plastic bag and told our maid to send it the the nearby Police Post.

"Lao Beng, what are you thinking ah? Catching a cobra-look-alike snake with a pair of chopsticks!!"

"Huh? Cobra meh? I thought just normal baby snake only what."

15 minutes after our maid left, a police officer called me and informed me that they will be contacting the authotiries from the Zoo to collect the baby snake.

Me informed the police officer to do a check around our area, cos when there is a baby snake, there sure to be a mother snake somewhere around and snakes normally give birth to more than 1 baby.

As a matter of fact, me and my cha-bo-lang once saw a snake (about 2 - 3 feet long) in the park when we went for our night stroll after our dinner about a year ago. Maybe that was 1 of its babies.

lim peh kong wan liao

** UPDATE : We were informed by the Authority from the Zoo that the baby snake which we caught was a Wolf snake also known as a House snake. It is not venomous and usually afraid of people and will run away upon seeing human beings. **

The Computer Of My Time

lim peh ka li kong

** Before going any further, lim peh still short of Daoraemon magnets, please read the post after this one *

All of you know that Old Beng me is an old uncle liao BUT do you know that during my schooling days, students then also have their own "Computer"?

Let me present to you, the Computer we used then:



Let me also share some of the meanings of the Computer terms used then.

Memory was something you lost with age.

An application was for employment.

A program was a TV show.

A cursor used profanity.

A keyboard was a piano.

A web was a spider's home.

A virus was the flu.

A CD was a bank account.

A hard drive was a long trip on the road.

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived.

And if you had a 3 inch floppy......

....you just hoped nobody ever found out!!

lim peh kong wan liao

Note: Received the above email from a friend.

7 Eleven Doraemon Magnets

lim peh ka li kong

After getting more than the usual groceries and magazines from 7-Eleven (with the size of the wallet getting thinner) due to the cat, we are still not able to collect the complete set.

Countries of magnets which we are still short of:

Special Edition: China Town (This one very hard to get leh)
Special Edition: Suntec City (This one also same same, hard to get too)

Special Edition: Esplanade
Special Edition: Orchard Road
Brazil
China
England
Greece
Malaysia
Morocco
The Nederlands
United States
Vietnam

Countries which are available for exchange:
Denmark;
Germany;
Hungary;
India;
Indonesia;
Korea;
Nepal;
South Pole;
Spain;
Taiwan;
Thailand;
Special Edition: Singapore Skyline;
Special Edition: Singapore Changi Airport

I must thank the following kind-hearted people who had given me their magnets (including paying the postage stamps out of their own pockets just to post to me)

Elydia: Thanks for safe-keeping the magnet and posted it to me despite busy juggling between your work and studies.

Simple Guy: Thanks for paying the postage and took the effort to mail the magnets to me.

Ms Rain: Thanks for giving me the magnets and we don't even know each other.

Tracy: The first lady who offered to exchange the magnet with me.

Carcar: A real lucky girl who exchanged 4 magnets which we are short of.

Ana: Her friendly hubby, Dave, drove all the way to meet me just to exchange 2 magnets.

Zhengning: Thanks for keeping an eye and exchanging information with her friends to help me.

Lao Hero: Thanks for your kind thoughts but like you said TMD how can no stocks? Guess they saw you decent cum 斯文, bluff you; You really 让老人骗, 给小孩 “仙”

Gilbert: Kam siah you for purposely purchased your susu at 7 Eleven just to get us a magnet.

Champion Chen, AKKueh and Sihui: Thanks for your offering.

Horny Bitch: I am still waiting for your mail Received liao, kam siah :)

lim peh kong wan liao

Doraemon Magnets Wanted

Still no good news on my Doraemon request???? :(

=====
UPDATE (04th April, 2007)

Countries of magnets which we are still short of:

01 Singapore Have liao
04 Cambodia A kind stranger (pretty girl girl somemore) gave the unopened packet to me at the 7-Eleven and bingo, Cambodia :)
11 France Thanks Elydia
13 Greece Cha-bo-lang's lucky hand
14 Hong Kong
15 Hungary
18 Italy
19 Japan
23 Morocco Cha-bo-lang's lucky hand
26 Russia
34 United States
Special Edition: Suntec City
Special Edition: China Town
Special Edition: Changi Airport

Countries which are available for exchange: Canada; Chile; Denmark; Germany; India; Indonesia; Korea; Nepal; Peru; South Pole; Spain; Taiwan; Thailand; Special Edition(Singapore Skyline) etc;

=====
UPDATE (01st April, 2007)

lim peh ka li kong

Both me and my cha-bo-lang would like to thank Tracy for her kind offer for the exchanging of the Doraemon magnet with us.

Though it was the 1st time we met, me was very sure that she could recognise me easily by my distinguish trademarks : long ear-lobe and lao ah Beng feature. True enough, while walking towards her, she recognised me even before me introduced myself.

After exchanging the magnet, me and my cha-bo-lang left happily.

Tracy, thanks for your kind offer, really appreciate it.

lim peh kong wan liao

PS: Although we met at night, with the dim light from the lamp-post plus my 老花眼 ( presbyopia), me can still see that she is a sweet, pretty and feminine young girl.

PPS: Our meeting venue was outside a neighbourhood police station, guess she me felt safer that way la =_="""

Do You Have One Too?

(these 2 me also don´t have yet)

lim peh ka li kong

Recently, 7-Eleven started a Doraemon 小叮当 promotion: with every $5 of purchase, you will be given a magnet with Doraemon 小叮当 in 35 different countries.

Both my Little Rabbit girl 小白兔 and my cha-bo-lang 查某人 love Doraemon 小叮当 greatly, so much so that me have to patronise 7-Eleven everyday for at least $5 in order to bring a Doraemon 小叮当 magnet back.

The first night we saw the Promotion Signage in the store of 7-Eleven, my cha-bo-lang immediately declared that she MUST have the "Spain" Doraemon 小叮当 magnet.

Darn heng, lim peh only spent $30 on purchases and in 1 out of the 6 wrapped Doraemon 小叮当 magnets was the "Spain" Doraemon 小叮当.

Subsequently, lim peh like not much luck leh. Every time we purchased something and got the Doraemon 小叮当 magnets, sure got 1 or 2 repetition ones.

Last night, me went to 7-Eleven again and got 3 wrapped Doraemon 小叮当 magnets and guess what? @$%&@#€... all the 3 magnets we also have already.

Anybody out there also got the Doraemon 小叮当 magnets which you have extra-double, maybe we can exchange?

We have some extras to exchange, anyone also interested in exchanging?

Or maybe some nice guys/gals who got the Doraemon 小叮当 magnets when patronising 7-Eleven and don´t want to collect them and don´t mind giving them away, please leave me a comment.

However far (so long within the premise of Singapore), lim peh also can drive there to collect from you. *Red face Old Beng but no choice la, to please the females in my house, got to like that lor *

lim peh kong wan liao

Il Divo Concert

lim peh ka li kong

Went to watch Il Divo concert at Indoor Stadium last night 18 January 2007, with my cha-bo-lang.

The 4 can really sing, one beautiful song after another non-stop though I must say that some songs lim peh don´t understand what they were singing at all BUT who cares, their voices blend so well with one another.

Some familiar tunes (although in a different language) which me know were Unbreak My Heart, All By Myself, Unchained Melody, My way, Without You etc.

At one stage, my cha-bo-lang told me to listen to them with my eyes close cos it had another kind of feeling. Me only close my eyes for a meer short 15 seconds then quickly open my eyes again. Scared ser-ka-lee fell asleep then no good. (No good because the tickets darn expensive lor).

They are handsome, they can sing so well, they are charming, their charisma no horse run, they are just fantastic.

One issue which me think can improve was the sound system, too loud but luckily the 4 have very powerful voices to overcome the loudness.

Another issue (to me) was the length of the concert, only slightly more than 1 and a half hours. Think me kena pampered by most Hong Kong and Taiwanese artists when they held their concerts in Singapore with Concerts running averagely from at least 2 and a half to 3 hours, some even went as far as 4 hours.

At the end of the concert, me just got one question, why lim peh cannot sing like them huh?

lim peh kong wan liao

26th September, 2006 - One Year Old

lim peh ka li kong

Suddenly me realised that me have been writing my blog for one year liao. My first posting was done on the 26 Sept 2005 (coincidentally it´s also a blogger friend Xishi´s Birthday - "Happy Birthday to you, Xishi" if you are reading my blog) and since then, have been writing my postings on and off and with this, the 172th posting of mine.

Looking back, me found that lots of nonsense were written and lame jokes, ghost stories were posted too.

In the beginning, me did care very much that the number of readers coming into my blog and really concerned on their views on my postings. Superficial right? Ya, that´s lim peh then.

Now me can declare that it doesn´t really matter anymore. I write, you like you read; You don´t like what I write, you can jolly well go shag yourself.

Through the consistence blogging, many names come by : many stay and many left. Old names, new names and some no names.

What the hack.

Many are faceless friends and many had met up with me and had great time together makan-ing and talking. (Yeah, 1 more on the way).

Blogging is very personal, or is it not so?

Me don´t think so; If it is so personal, then why share it openly to all and enable comments?

Lately have been thinking of stopping my blogging as me get a bit tired. My stories not so interesting, my jokes not so funny, my ghost stories not so scary, my Chinese articles not so standard.

The only unique-ness is "lim peh ka li kong" =_="""

1 Year Anniversary to my "lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲" and then??? So???

I wonder.....

lim peh kong wan liao

Andy and Old Beng

lim peh ka li kong

Me think that it is very interesting in the bloggers´ world cos we actually get comments posted from people all over the world whom we may not have crossed our path if without the power of blogging.

There is this 1 particular reader of mine, who called himself Andy, never leaves comment in my blog but instead sent me emails on issues written by me which he had different views.

From his name, me take him as a guy but god knows if he really is a guy?

Recently, Andy sent me a long email re-capping my postings in my blog in the form of a survey and had asked me "politely" to give him a satisfactory reply.

Here it goes:

Andy : Old Beng, your entries lately, if compared to your earlier ones, are far less funny, what have you got to say?

Old Beng : Hmmm, is it? Nothing la, all that me can say is that even Comedians and Jokers have days when they are real down.

Andy : Looking at your earlier entries, your posts are very humourous, like "Old Beng went to Orchard Road", "Old Beng on MRT", "Old Beng and Dogs" just to name a few. Although what you wrote recently are also funny, they are of different levels.

Old Beng : Ah, now me understand. The earlier entries were written before my exposure and admitting that me was indeed not a real Old Beng with 12 children. Now that me have revealed my true identity, it is rather difficult for me to write something similar to those Old Beng´s tales.

Andy : So indeed, you run out of ideas?

Old Beng : Hmmm, maybe half right. Recently got a little bit more busy than usual thus affecting my writing thinking skills.

Andy : Is that also the reason why you have been using a lot of others´ articles, some lame jokes, emails and just linked from others´ blogs.

Old Beng : Me put up some jokes to share with readers and linked some good writing stuff from fellow bloggers because me believe in good things must share. On the other hand, sometimes when me is too busy to write, me will just put up something interesting.

Andy : Are you facing Writer´s block?

Old Beng : Ha ha, of course not la since me is no writer. Me only like to write write here and write write there and at the same time put some of my old Chinese articles and Ghost stories in my blog.

Andy : Many people seem to be rather puzzled that a self-proclaimed Ah Beng can go to so many expensive far away countries, what have you got to say?

Old Beng : Say what? Ah Beng cannot go tour is it? Me think only you puzzled only la.

Andy : I have been following your writing as far back as from the time you started writing in YMB, do you think you have changed a lot in your writing style since then?

Old Beng : Think me can put it this way: when me first wrote during the YMB time, there were lots of heated up issues written almost everyday and in order to cool down the situation, me started to create Old Beng and family and wrote some issues to make the YMB readers relax though me still got some negative feedbacks whereby people finger pointing at me for writing low class Singlish. After creating my own blog "lim peh ka li kong", it is more my very own playground and it is more to entertain myself than others and at times to record some of the happenings of my life with wife and friends. Change is definitely inevitable, just hope it is for the better.

Andy : So will you stop writing, if one fine day, you realise that the numbers of people reading your blog drop to maybe only 10 per day?

Old Beng : Huh, now got more than 10 meh? Actually, even if nobody reads my blog anymore, me will still write cos me know my cha-bo-lang will definitely read one. In fact, readers are like shoppers in the shopping mall : More people walk by than actually see the items and more people see the items than actually buying them. 逛的比看的多、看的比买的多.

Andy : Would you prefer your readers to leave their comments or it makes no difference to you?

Old Beng : Of course, me will very much like everyone who clicks / browses / reads my blog to leave a comment or two BUT just like me reading others´ blogs, me don´t always leave comments also. Since we cannot sell our blog like writing for papers and no money is made, comments will be the rewards all bloggers want to get, if not why create the comment field?

Andy : Whose blog do you read often? Rockson? Blinkymummy? Xiaxue?

Old Beng : Me do not really visit these "famous" blogs everyday but me have a rather wide scope for blogs reading. From local blogs to overseas blogs, from English to Chinese to Cantonese, from serious bloggers to cartoons blogs to jokers like me, me even read blogs written by very young people (as young as 15 years old students).

Andy : I realised that you are always trying very hard to be a "Good Man" image in your blog, are you living to it in real life?

Old Beng : HUH???? "Good Man" image? Don´t write vulgars or swears or curse does not classify me as a good man. Although it is my private playground, me must beware of youngsters who sometimes accidentally come into my blogs. Anyway, good or bad is very subjective one la.

Andy : If one day, you decide to stop your blog, will you announce it in your blog or just like some bloggers, just closed their blogs or just leave it hanging there?

Old Beng : Although me do not know everyone who reads my blog, think it is basic mannerism to announce in my blog should me choose to stop blogging one day. Why? Cos me treat my readers as friends and that is the least me can do should me really stop blogging.

Andy : Why do you always blanco your face in your photo?

Old Beng : Guess me is still not to comfortable to show my face.

Andy : Why? Too handsome or too ugly?

Old Beng : Nothing to do with look la dude, just don´t feel comfortable yet, who knows maybe in near future me will reveal my face in all my previous photos in my blog.

Andy : Why? As you know, Blinkymummy, Xiaxue, even some of your blogger friends like Xorpheus, Dandan, Elydia, also show their faces.

Old Beng : There are also many don´t show their faces. Rockson, Spinnee, Fireburn, Lau Hero, Sunflower, Sibeh Sian etc, so?

Andy : Isn´t it contradicting, on one hand, you are scared to show your face but on the other hand, you went out with the bloggers thus showing your face.

Old Beng : Face to face is better than only showing my face la and anyway, me enjoy meeting with blogger friends once in a while to meet up and chat.

Andy : Do you really think your blog is famous and full of humour?

Old Beng : No, don´t think my blog is famous at all, humour or not is very subjective but as me always say, this is my playground, you like to come, fine, if you think is lousy then please don´t bother to come in to read lor. BTW how come me sense the way you posing the questions to me in a rather KL hostile way? Why? Did me offend you?

Andy : Sorry if I sounded offensive but no, just trying to know you better. Anyway. thanks for your time.

Old Beng : No worries dude, glad that you are interested in me. (Not the brokeback interested la).

lim peh kong wan liao

Ranting In My Blog For The FIRST Time!!!

(Contents not suitable for the young ones)

KNNBCCB!!!!!! FXXKING HELL!!!!!

ROOOOOOOAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

I have never met such idiotic arsehole FXXKING BXSTARD person in my whole life. I declare I am a complete blind man for treating her so well all this while, to the extend of covering her mistakes for her.

This type of CCB LJ person, just my luck to have crossed path with her, TILL NIA SING!!! KAOZ!! PHUI!!!!!

There's this receptionist clerk cum secretary who was with our employment for the past 10 over years. Last year when I joined the company, my boss told me that she is not competence thus half of her work load will be passed on to me.

Her contract with us expired this month and my boss was kind enough and release her 2 days prior to month end out of good will.

As she had been with us for so long, we trusted her completely and guess what?

1) She KNN threw all the hardcopies HR files and CFP files and dont know what other files away behind our back.

2) She deleted all the soft copies of our template for salaries, leave, etc.

3) She even changed the password to the common computer programmes without our knowledge.

4) She was so Gian-Png until on her last day with us, she took folders, staples, key-chains, stationeries back with her without telling us.

As we couldn´t log into the computer, we tried calling her mobile but she refused to answer our calls, so bo-pian we sms her asking her to call us back. She immediately sms back asking for what purpose for her to call us back since she had left us.

When we saw her sms, we called her mobile immediately but again she KNN let the phone rang until it was disconnected. Wa-kaoz!

After that, no matter how many more times we called her or sms her, she did not reply at all.

We gave her her salary on the 25th and not on the last day yet we got all these shit from her.

What kind of woman does such things?

No one to blame, just blame myself for being stuuuuupid to treat her so well, to trust her so much.

I learned my lesson well now, I learn my mistake.

KNN!!!!!!!! ROOOOOOOOOAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

在这社会打滚了这么多年，他妈的！！阴沟里翻船！！我靠！！

A Pig'sTrotter

lim peh ka li kong

Last week, don't know which day liao, me saw that there was a small wound-bite on my right foot and it was hyper itchy.

Think most of us know, when you have a itch, whether by mosquito or whatever, you normally cannot resist the urge of scratching it.

Anyway, think me scratched the small tiny little wound a few times, maybe more than a few times, and the skin of the small wound then broke and fluid was coming out from it.

Me remembered that when me had my shower that night, it was rather painful when water touched the wound.

On Saturday evening, after me and my cha-bo-lang went for our weekly foot-reflexology, me realised that my foot seemed to be swelling a little bit.

On Sunday morning, when me woke up, me let out a cry when me put my foot on the floor when getting out from the bed. My right foot was swollen and looked like a pig's trotter.

It was swollen, red in colour due to the inflammation, and painful when me tried walking.

No choice, cha-bo-lang drove me to the Clinic.

So I have a MC for today.

Friends, I present to you, my pig's trotter.......arrrgh!!!!

lim peh kong wan liao

Comments Comments

lim peh ka li kong

Apart from enjoying to write my blog, me enjoy very much on the
comments posted by friends.

Share some of the interesting comments posted by friends with you
and my views:-
===

By Qin Shi Huang on 情之为物
情为何物？你还在想爱情吗？
心如鹿撞？哈哈！！
在我字典里，爱情这两个字已删除了。
不再年轻也不想害人害己。
写的不错，well done…

* It seems like decades since Lau Qin last left a comment.喂！
老秦，你在那里？*
===

By Ling n Pebble on Yin Yang Eyes
Mr Lim, I'm not afraid of ghost, I'm afraid of beasts..gossipers..
vicious pple..but sometimes I do get afraid of myself tho,
especially when I'm having my white facial mask on.

* Ling is still addressing me as Mr Lim cos she thought my name
is "Lim peh kong wan liao"*
===

By Angeline7030 on Yin Yang Eyes
What is Yin Yang Eyes? Me only got make up eyes with curled eye
lashes, see no ghost, hear no evil, speak no nonsense, eat no
rubbish, play no dirty.

Ghost is nothing other than born from humans.

Fear none my beloved brethens, for there is always an 666 Angel

* Angeline is a real humorous gal and me have had many many
memories of her during our YMB time, she has also gone missing
in action...*
===

By Xorpheus on The Boss And Me
Can I add in a bit cos I found this, in one of the email

Title: IF…

If a barber makes a mistake, it is a new style
If a driver makes a mistake, it is an accident
If a doctor makes a mistake, it is an operation
If parents make a mistake, it is a new generation
If a politician makes a mistake, it is a new law
If a scientist makes a mistake, it is a new invention
If a tailor makes a mistake, it is a new fashion
If a teacher makes a mistake, it is a new theory
If YOU Boss makes a mistake, it is YOUR MISTAKE

What a fucked up theory

* Xorpheus has always been a very nice and friendly chap
and his blog is always interesting to read with his short and
to the point postings *
===

By Ipromise on The Boss And Me
Believe it or not, I humiliate my boss (only on the tennis
court) Other times, I just have to press my “you know what”
and bear it

* One of the best joker I’ve known, his comment is always
able to make me laugh. Too bad that he is currently in China
and not able to access to blogs *
===

By No Eyes See See on Old Beng and Lucky Draws
12 children and living in HDB and earning less than 2K and
working as an office boy? Ha ha don’t bluf la but your story
is funny especially the Q&A part on sex.

* A young man with his unique way of penning down his
thoughts, something too subjective to comment on his style
of writing *
===

By Spinnee on The Lift
ahahahaha buatahan…. Nice post about lifts!!!
if anyone stands too near me, I sure elbow them one…wahaha

* Spinnee’s blog is one of the earliest blog me visited
and am still visiting daily. *

By Spinnee on 把情感收藏起来
When talk about 情，no one is in the wrong.
Since 情 is not wrong, den the principle/moral ethics kick
in to judge whether a person’s right or not.
My comment: It’s just that, pple always meet at right time
and love at wrong time

* Spinnee’s views are always different from others but
are always logical and rational, right to the point *
===

By Xishi on The Lift
I m like the lift lady
Always stand near to the lift buttons
And will ask which floor pple wan to go too
Ha ha I m too helpful :p

* Xishi is efficient both in English and Chinese, a real
开心果, I must say*
===

By Du Gu Wu Ti on 孤枕难入梦
sigh…!! Long time didn’t read this type of phase liao.
Sad stories always happen n I faced some b4 too!
Anyway just remember tomorrow will be a better day!!
Cheers…!

* This Du gu wu ti does not have a blog (or maybe
he has with another name) and he has not left any
comment for a long time, hello, where you?? *
===

By Monkichi on 孤枕难入梦
好浪漫的情景！你的浪漫有延续到你的“查某郎”身上吗?

* Monkichi has the ability to write good Chinese
but lately her blog seems to have stopped, 几时能再阅
读到她的文采？*
===

By Yan Tau Kia on Old Beng: A Pseudonym
Anyway nice reading your blog, keep it up.
Sometimes we need to hide our identity to relieve our
work/family comitment “stress”

* Although this Yan Tau Kia has not been leaving comment,
me know he has been reading my blog cos he is a mutual
friend of me and Lau Hero *
===

By Jiji on Trip to Madrid and Paris
wow…cool pictures!!! I wanna go these 2 countires.
Old beng, u got 艳遇or not? , Ur size so macho, sure got
many red hair ladies tackle u

* Have known Jiji (cyberly of course) since YMB time
and her postings in YMB had raised many eyebrows. A hyper
talented gal who speaks English, Mandarin, Japanese and
even Spanish. Too bad she has stopped wrting her blog *
===

By Michael Chua on The Ways To Win A Woman’s Heart
yes I always wonder why beautiful women end up with plain
looking men. I myself am an example not that my wife is
drop-dead gorgeous and I very ugly. It’s just that she is
better looking than me.

* Mike has been an avid blogger who writes almost everyday
and the substance of his posts always makes me agree fully
with his opinions and views. You have not read any of his
posts? Go now cos you don’t know what you have been missing.*

By Michael Chua on 把情感收藏起来
多情无罪，但是对已婚有子的男人来说，碰到美女想示爱，真的非把
这种感情收藏起来不可。否则后果将不堪设想。搞婚外情，害人害己

* 哇捞，这个米糕还是个bilingual man, 佩服 *
===

By Emiriyo on 共勉之
Actually that’s quite true, things beyond our control we
should learn to let go… maximize our energy on things that
can yearn better results.

But bloody hell I’m those “cannot die” type! The more I
couldn’t get the more I want…

It’s until the very last moment then I Kum Wan to give up…

Hey, never try you’ll never know.

* As much as me like his ways of putting words together,
me still cannot tahan his icon picture representing him *
===

By Mama Dewi on A Poem From A Friend
beng & ling, thanks for the memories..and till now I can still
remember ever being in yr dream too, wif kakzar n lovelybeauty…

ling, indeed beng had brought those sparkling stars to all!!

* Dewi has been a long time friend too from YMB and she has
a fantastic blog although some of the posts me cannot
understand cos they were written in Malay (eh.. just like she
cannot understand mine when they were written in Chinese, ha ha)*
===

By Elydia on Are You Getting Old
Uncle Beng… I nag a lot too leh…plus my short term memory
I think worst than u…(seriously suspect something wrong
with my head).

Age is not a metter..what's important is always can see u
laugh like laughing buddha..kekekeke...

* A young gal who likes to mix and talk to old man
like Old Beng but no she is definitely no 小妹妹思想。She has,
in fact, a very matured thinking and a kind heart.*
===

By Dandan on 14 February, 2006
So sweet, my ideal celebration for valentine day! Cook at
home! Sooo romantic..red wine

* A 感性 gal with writing talent, both in English and
Chinese though at times she is led by her moods and rather
pessimistic.

天地之大，岂止一单色。。。灰？
心胸之宽，何苦一情怯。。。悲！*
===

By 一只熊 on Me And My Big Mouth
查某人老熊有算盤！如果有需要熊可以全年赞助！还有提醒妳、家庭
小用品其实也很方便，想必妳家里一定有很多衣夹子、它们都是妙用
无穷的呢！把妳尽有的衣夹全压在老明的脸上、然后狠狠的抽空、哇
那种痛、老明会永远记得的！就不敢乱造次啦。记得嘴巴要都压满、
让它肿得象香肠、他就真的变大嘴巴了耶！哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!

* 一只熊的留言总是令老明我惊讶、感叹、措手不及却又拿她没折，
只能苦笑。嘿！*
===

By 阿恺 on 最。。。/对联
最不切实际的话：只要爱情、不要面包。
最伤自尊的话：
男人对女人：我从来没有爱过妳。
女人对男人： 你从来没有给过我高潮。
（截至张小娴）哈哈

* 阅读阿恺的blog 并不很久，但她那淡淡的、清幽的文采是吸引着我
的原因。*
===

By SGB on 最。。。/对联
好好好！
妙妙妙！
我个人最喜欢的“最深情的话”：執子之手、与子谐老。

* SGB 的文笔素质 – 高、精、好、妙、狂、赞。*
===

By Lau Hero on 念旧
老明啊老明，我们这把年纪就是这样的啦，不要想这么多啦，想了又
怎样会年轻回吗，除非你有灵丹妙药，那也很难。
你姨母不能来，那你就过去啦，讲这么一大堆，靠！

*有些人不赞同老英雄的某些comments，但他的优点是真，一针见血，
毫不虚伪。 然而，有时真看得我一头雾水，不禁妈妈声一番，他的文
采真是高深莫测。*
===

By Hiao Auntie on Girl Girl
hahaha akina nakamori 中森明菜 you all still remember ah? Red
and white japan song festival she was hot favourite at one time…
I still remember one of the years’ song festival, she injured
herself but still turn up for the concert with long sleeve and
she swung her right arm round and round and her legs hardly
moving cos of injuries…”watashi kara sayonara shinakereba, kono
koi wa, owara nai no ne…” I still remember the song…I used to
tie my hair up high high like akina and my frens look at it and
point -> akina

* Hiao Aunty has been a gal who can write well though sometimes
she tends to pretend to be what she is not but who cares cos me
also not too Beng at times.*
===

There are many many more friends who had left comments in my blog,
Fireburn, Dukester, Miaka, Blueapple, The Royal Blood, ahbeng_chao,
Bored Dad, 枭燕子, Tracy, Kurakut, Sunflower, Shiakha..., but me just
cannot go on an on and on.

Want to read their interesting comments?

Go read my blog again la :)

lim peh kong wan liao

Back Again

lim peh ka li kong

After a short break, me is finally back from Spain.

The weather is really good there, average range from 7 - 15 deg. (Although sometimes the strong wind did get us shivering despite wearing a few outfits)

Will post some of the photos taken by my cha-bo-lang there as she is a better camera-man than me.

Too busy to post anything long now, will do a proper one later after uploading the photos.

lim peh kong wan liao.

P/S: It's good to be back and my hand has started to get itchy - the urge to blog :)

A Short Break

lim peh ka li kong

Looking back, me realised that (by calculation) I have been writing 1 post in my blog every other day.

Come to think of it, averagely 1 in every 2 days. Wow, how did me do it?

Everytime before writing anything, my brain will go blank but when me start to type, words will form automatically. (Of course, there is always a topic in my mind prior to putting it down in black and white).

Hmmm, what have I achieved in creating my blog?

1) A collection of my old Chinese articles which were published in some weekly magazines long time ago;

2) To record certain happenings during the voyage of my life.

3) To entertain, mostly myself, by writing some "Old Beng's tales".

4) To link some interesting articles from other bloggers.

5) To render my emotion towards my cha-bo-lang. (Think sometime it is easier to bring the message across via blogging than face to face conversation).

6) Get to know many bloggers via the blog's world. (Some bloggers are already my friends whereby we have met but many more are still faceless cyber friends).

Me will be having a short break from blogging and will come back again probably in mid April. Half a month of "No blogging world", think me will be able to refrain form blogging for 2 weeks since me have been blogging so frequently for the past 6 months? Let's see.

Till me write again, do take care.

lim peh kong wan liao

阿肥狗 - Lucky

lim peh ka li kong

My cha-bo-lang is a dog lover but ever since our last 2 dogs passed away, we have decided not to keep any more dogs. Reasons being my cha-bo-lang loves dogs so much until she cannot take it when they are gone.

As we usually frequent temples during 初一、十五(First and Fifteenth of lunar calendar), we happened, in fact it is SHE, happened to find a BIG, FAT dog at one of the temples which we go often.

That Big, Fat dog has a name which fits a dog well - Lucky (whatelse?)

Lucky has a pair of beautiful brown eyes and whenever she looks at us, my cha-bo-lang's heart will melt.

Despite Lucky's big size, she is hyper friendly and easily mixes and plays with anyone who cares to go up to her and touch her.

She is famous for catching rats at the temple, yes RATS and apparantly she has very good results (according to the people at the temple).

One of her favourate trick is when you stand in front of her and say," Lucky, hand", she will raise and offer her right paw to you and also her left paw respectively.

Normally when me and my cha-bo-lang go to look for her, she is usually sleeping at a cool corner but upon hearing my cha-bo-lang calling her name, she will wake up and rush towards her.

Although she is closer to my cha-bo-lang, she does come to me as me always sayang her head affectionately though at times me quite scared of her saliva.

My cha-bo-lang is so fond of this Lucky that she usually tells me, "Oei, 阿肥 (calling me), I am going to see my dog, you coming along?"

It's good that my cha-bo-lang is happy with seeing Lucky as and when she is free and the temple is only a 5-min drive from our house.

lim peh kong wan liao

Important Note: Although the license collar tag isn't around her neck when me took the photo using my handphone, Lucky is a licensed dog whereby the owner paid the license fees every year without fail. It was only taken down when the owner bathed her earlier.

99

lim peh ka li kong

Looking back from my creation of my blog "lim peh ka li kong" since 26 September 2005 which is 6 months from now, me had written 99 postings (including this one).

Still remembered my friend, Ipromise ever mentioned that he can get a publisher to publish all my "Old Beng's Tale" when me reach my 300th postings.

Now with the stepping into the 100th postings, Ipromise has been so afraid of his promise that he has gone into hiding and "siam" all the way to China, just to avoid lim peh.

Ha ha just joking la, please come back to Singapore, me promise me will not force you to fulfill your offer cos me is happy and contented in just writting in my blog. Don't scared, come back.

If one actually got a lot of time to spend and nothing better to do, one can go and count all my postings, you will realise that there are actually 106 postings till now instead of 99 as me mentioned.

In fact, there are 7 postings which were not written by lim peh, thus me cannot take the credits and these are the following 7 postings:-

1)Cartoon.

2)Lau Hero's 1st Chinese Blog.

3) A Touching Story - by Dewi.

4)Women's 32 Secrets - by Ji Ji.

5)No Eye See See's View On Me.

6)Count Down At Orchard Road - by No Eye See See.

7)A Poem From A Friend - by Ling.

x x x x x

My next posting will be my 100th thus I will be doing a special one tomorrow but sorry to those who don't understand Chinese cos it is a posting which I am writting in relation to "Birth of the God Of Mercy - 南無观世音菩萨".

x x x x x

There is always something tuanting my mind whenever I look at the counter of my blog.

The numbers of comments left in my blog compared to the number of visitors are far beyond proportion. Apparantly, there are many invisible and silence readers out there reading my blog but never leave a comment or 2 for me.

It's alright actually, just to say a big thank you to all who take the effort and time to come into my blog, with or without leaving any comment for me.

Thank you for your frequent clicking into my blog and reading all my nonsense about Old Beng's tales, old Chinese ghost stories and some affairs of my life.

Me still believe in the following when writting my postings:-

The best jokes are true and the best truths are joke.

Hope I am able to continue to write more craps, not just for the sake of entertaining you, but more likely to entertain myself :)

lim peh kong wan liao

14 February, 2006

lim peh ka li kong

Yesterday when me came home from work, the moment me stepped into the house, a nice yummy smell immediately hit my sense of smell.

Me saw my cha-bo-lang cooking in the kitchen, Woo Hoo!! She's preparing our Valentine Dinner.

I had a good share of fruit salad as well as a vegetable salad prior to the main course.

Finally, my cha-bo-lang brought out 2 big plates of main course and the smell really made my stomach growl loudly.



The photo wasn't taken well due to the resolution of my lousy handphone. Let me describe the food on the plate: there are 2 halves of Crayfish, Spaghetti with Crab-sticks and ham, Bacon with Broccoli, Fried prawn and fish with Wasabi sauce.

After we finished our dinner, me brought out the present me bought for my cha-bo-lang: A CD by High Society - Amor. The songs compiled in the CD consist mainly of Spanish songs.

Eh, sorry hor, me no buy flower for my cha-bo-lang, not because me not romantic but didn't want to be a sucker to pay so high a price for the flower.

Just when we went to bed, me saw a present and a card on my side of the bed. Ha, my cha-bo-lang also got present for me leh. It was a card and a CD.

Huh? CD also? We 2 really think alike.

Anyway, this is the Valentine Day's Card from my cha-bo-lang. (Sorry, contents written inside the card is not share-able).

The CD I got was a plain Music Collection with different types of songs and all the songs were very relaxing and soothing. (Although I did not listen to the CD while having tea).

lim peh kong wan liao