lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Management Lesson

lim peh ka li kong

Everyday me receive some emails from my many friends.

Most of the emails are funny stuff but once in a while something meaningful came along. I like the following one which I received not too long ago, share with you:

=====

MANAGEMENT LESSON

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.

This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.

By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"

The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not? "

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass ."

Management Lesson : "Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one."

=====

lim peh kong wan liao

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

Life Is ... by Adrenaline

lim peh ka li kong

Chanced into this interesting blog via Sibehsian´s blog.

Adrenaline writes some very nice posts in her blog and this one is especially cool:

=====

Life is ......

... not just the number of friends' shoulders whom you cry on, but also the number of friends who cry on your shoulder.

... not juz being there for your family when they need you, but also the times when they want you there.

... not the number of lips you've kissed, but the kisses that take your breath away.

... doing your best not juz in jobs that you like, but also jobs that you hate.

... not the number of movies you've watched, but the movies that teared or stirred you emotionally.

... not juz having someone to hold when you're down, but someone to hug when you're watching TV.

... not the number of books you've read, but the amount of knowledge that you share.

... laughing not only because of hilarious jokes, but also because you're truly happy.

... not the number of kids you've had, but the number you've nurtured.

... not about the people that you loved, but the ways you've displayed your love.

... not about having a big house, but having a home.

... not about playing mahjong on Friday nights, but having the company of 3 others who share a similar interest.

... not about the number of people you've slept with, but the amount of orgasms you've had.

... not juz bringing joy to people whom you love, but also those who need them.

... not about looking youthful, but being young spiritually.

Lastly, life is not about the number of people who would be attending your funeral, but those, whose lives you had played a part in shaping.

=====

lim peh kong wan liao

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Monday, June 04, 2007

Lessons In Life

lim peh ka li kong

Saw this in Robin´s blog, me cut cut a bit and share with you.

Lessons in Life

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

6. Cry with someone.It's more healing than crying alone.

7. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

8. Don't compare your life to others' .You have no idea what their journey is all about.

9. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

10. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

11. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

12. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

13. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

14. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

17. Forgive everyone everything.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

22. Believe in miracles.

23. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

24. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

25. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

26. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

27. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

28. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

29 If you don't ask, you don't get.

30. Life isn't tied with a bow,but it's still a gift.

He has all 50 pointers there but me only show 30 here, want to read all his 50 pointers? Click here.

lim peh share wan liao

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Monday, May 14, 2007

Mind Changing Or Not?

lim peh ka li kong

When lim peh was still young, enjoying the best time of my life as a student, one of my teachers shared this very interesting story with our class. Like to share with you and do think about your decision before continue reading at each situation.

Assuming there is a hit and run car-accident, Driver and Victim. The Driver after knocking the Victim down, drives away and you are the only witness, will you step forward and report to the authority about the Driver's car-plate numbers?

Yes! Of course you will report to the authority without thinking twice cos you are a good honest upright person.

Let us assume further that the Driver is your friend?

How? To report or not to report?

You probably will look into the Victim's situation: if he is seriously wounded or not?

If he is not too seriously injured, No.

If he is injured quite seriously, Yes.

How about if the Victim is quite seriously injured BUT the Driver is your own sibling or is your father/mother? Will you report the accident?

Please bear in mind that you may land your sibling or parent in jail and the Victim is only a stranger to you.

Yes?

NO?

What if the hospital later announces that the accident is a fatal one the the Victim did not survive?

Will you report now? Conscience versus Family!?!?!?!

What if it was the Victim's fault cos he dashed out the road without thinking twice of the on-coming car?

As the situation unfolds itself, I tend to be fickle-minded deciding whether to report or not.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, human nature or is it just me to be in this dilemma of perplexing mind-swinging stage like a yo-yo?

How about you?

lim peh kong wan liao

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Friday, May 11, 2007

A Story To Share

lim peh ka li kong

=====

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she's blind.

She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He's always there for her.

She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refused to marry him.

Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying.

"Just take care of my eyes, dear."

=====

People change their minds as time and status changed. Only few remember what life was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situation.

lim peh kong wan liao

PS: This is not the creation of Old Beng, received it in one of my many emails.

PPS: Wondering why didn´t the boyfriend donate just 1 eye then both can see the world together.

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Sunday, May 06, 2007

10 Ways To Be Happy And Happier

lim peh ka li kong

Life is fair to everyone but more fair to some and super hyper fair to few.

All of us came to this world beyond our control cos nobody ever asked our opinion prior to having us around. Like 周星驰 Stephen Chow once said in one of his movies, "the few seconds of enjoyment from your parents resulted the fruitful result of having you around."

Ooops! Sorry, write out of point.

Since you are reading my blog now which means you have a life so why not make yourself more happy. Treat yourself better, pamper yourself more.

Let lim peh share with you my 10 ways of making yourself happy and happier:-

1) Be happy : Do some real good work out and make yourself perspire with the sensational feeling of having sweat dripping down your neck, your back.
Be happier : Work out with your loved ones.

2) Be happy : Pamper yourself with the expensive items which you have been eye-ing for a long time but too heartpain to buy them.
Be happier : Buy some for your parents, siblings and loved ones too.

3) Be happy : Go around Singapore with the mind-set of a tourist, visit places you have always wanted to go but never have the chance/time.
Be happier : Pretending that you cannot speak English or any other languages and dialects thus not able to understand what the shopkeepers say and have fun trying to slash prices of items you fancy.

4) Be happy : Book a Karaoke room and sing like nobody's business with all your strength and let it all out, for once be a superstar or Singapore idol wannabe.
Be happier : Invite your good friends / not very good friends / more importantly lousy friends along and let them suffer enjoy your singing.

5) Be happy : In a hot sunny afternoon, dip yourself in a swimming pool and enjoy the cool water surrounding you.
Be happier : Follow up with a bowl of ice-kacang or icy cold watermelon.

6) Be happy : Stormy rainy afternoon, just sleep the whole afternoon through.
Be happier : Have some "exercise" with your loved one in bed before both knocking off together.

7) Be happy : For 1 day, eat some of your favourite food whereby you have always refrained yourself due to the "importance" of weight factor: food like chocolate cake, soft drinks, etc
Be happier : Eat ALL your favourite food and just nuay at home doing practically nothing.

8) Be happy : Go to the beach for a day and enjoy the sun, the sea, the sand and the breeze.
Be happier : Make sure to find a good spot where you can see hunks with muscular bodies/girl girl in nice bikini playing beach ball.

9) Be happy : For 1 day, hang up your house telephone, lock your mobile phone and pager in the drawer, no computer, no tv, no radio and just relax.
Be happier : Leave all these behind and go oversea to have a real short break.

10) Be happy : Come click Old Beng blog everyday.
Be happier : Click Stickgal, Sibehsian, Meepok, Cheeky, 阿祥, blog too.

lim peh kong wan liao

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Monday, April 16, 2007

The Computer Of My Time

lim peh ka li kong

** Before going any further, lim peh still short of Daoraemon magnets, please read the post after this one *

All of you know that Old Beng me is an old uncle liao BUT do you know that during my schooling days, students then also have their own "Computer"?

Let me present to you, the Computer we used then:



Let me also share some of the meanings of the Computer terms used then.
Memory was something you lost with age.
An application was for employment.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was a piano.
A web was a spider's home.
A virus was the flu.
A CD was a bank account.
A hard drive was a long trip on the road.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived.
And if you had a 3 inch floppy......
....you just hoped nobody ever found out!!

lim peh kong wan liao

Note: Received the above email from a friend.

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Thursday, February 01, 2007

Sadness

lim peh ka li kong

When lim peh saw this picture in Simple Guy blog, me was like "what the @&%#" but then when lim peh see more carefully, an inevitable sadness enfolds me completely.

See for yourself....





The cruel truth.

Sad right?

lim peh kong wan liao

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Saturday, January 27, 2007

A Nice Story

lim peh ka li kong

Saw this interesting story which me like very much in Simple Guy blog. I have extracted the gist of the story here :

There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet.

He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, "Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat."He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.

As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.

The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out.

All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie.

She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. "You've done enough, you klutz!"

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too."

lim peh kong wan liao

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Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Good Advertisement

lim peh ka li kong

Me received the following emails, find them quite nice, share share:



Knives Advertisement


Healthy Teeth Advertisement


Car Audio System Advertisement


Milk Advertisement

Nice bo?

lim peh kong wan liao

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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

故事

收到一则伊妹儿,与大家分享:

要忙得快乐


有一只狐狸,在路上闲逛时,眼前忽然出现一个很大的葡萄园,果实累累,每颗葡萄看起来都很可口,让它垂涎欲滴。葡萄园的四周围着铁栏杆,狐狸想从栏杆的缝隙钻进园内,却因身体太胖了,钻不过去。

于是狐狸决定减肥,让自己瘦下来,它在园外饿了三天三夜后,果然变苗条了,真是皇天不负苦心人,终于顺利钻进葡萄园内。

狐狸在园内大快朵颐,葡萄真是又甜又香啊!!不知吃了多久,它终于心满意足了,但当它想溜出园外时,却发现自己又因为吃得太胖而钻不出栏杆,于是只好又在园内饿了三天三夜,瘦得跟原先一样时,才顺利地钻出园外。

回到外面的世界的狐狸,看着园内的葡萄,不禁感叹:“空着肚子进去,又空着肚子出来,真是百忙一场啊!!”

我起初也以为这个故事告诉我们,人刁然一身来到这世界,又刁然一身的离开这个世界,到头来还不是白忙一场!

呵,这个讲故事的人却说,看问题的重点。

这个故事跟人生一样,重点是在中间的部分:你看,狐狸在葡萄园内吃得多么快乐啊!!

“即使生命是一场空,也要空得很充实; 纵然人生是白忙一场,也要忙得很快乐。”

=====

转念之间

过去有一位白手起家的建筑商,赚了许多钱,但因经济不景气,让他变得很落魄,亦欠债累累,终想不开要跳河自杀。

一天,三更半夜他到了河前,突然看见一位少女亦哭哭啼啼,此时,这建筑商问她说:“小姐,三更半夜你来这里要做什么?”

这小姐回答:“我被我的男朋友抛弃了,我不想活了,因为没有他,我不能活下去。”

建筑商一听,回答她说:“咦!奇怪,妳在还没有男朋友之前,妳是怎么活的啊?!”

少女一听,恍然大悟,她也就不寻死了。

建筑商此时心想:“在我没有这么多钱以前,我是怎么活的?我也是白手起家的啊。”

这时,少女也问建筑商:“三更半夜,你来这里做什么啊?”

建筑商回答:“也没有什么啦!只是出来散散步。”

一个转念,可作天堂。也可作地狱。

=====

天堂与地狱的区别

一位一生行善无数的大善人,他临终前有一位天使特地下凡来接引他上天堂。天使说:“大善人,由于你一生行善,成就很大的公德,因此在你临终前,我可以答应你完成一个你最想完成的愿望。”

大善人说:“神圣的天使,谢谢你这么仁慈。我一生当中最大的遗憾就是从来没见过天堂与地狱究竟长得象什么样子?在我死之前,您可不可以带我到这两个地方参观参观?”

天使说:“没问题,因为你即将上天堂,因此我先带你到地狱去吧。”

大善人跟随天使来到了地狱,在他们面前出现一张很大的餐桌,桌上摆满了丰富的佳肴。“地狱的生活看起来还不错嘛!没有想象中的悲惨嘛!” 大善人很疑惑地问天使。

“不用急,你再继续看下去。”

过了一会,用餐的时间到了,只见一群瘦骨如材的饿鬼鱼贯地入座。每个人手上拿着一双长十几尺的筷子。每个人用尽了各种方式,尝试用他们手中的筷子去夹菜吃。可是由于筷子实在太长了,最后每个人都吃不到东西。

“实在是太悲惨了,他们怎么可以这样对待这些人呢?给他们食物的诱惑,却又不给他们吃。”

“你真觉得很悲惨吗?我再带你到天堂看看。”

到了天堂,同样的情景,同样的满卓佳肴,每个人同样用一双长十几尺的长筷子。不同的是,围着餐桌吃饭的是一群洋溢欢笑,长得白白胖胖的可爱的人们。他们同样用筷子夹菜,不同的是,他们喂对面的人吃菜,而对方也喂他吃。因此每个人都吃得很愉快。

天堂与地狱的区别,在于与人相处的态度。

=====

一束花

有一个人在拥挤的车潮中驾车缓缓前进,在等红灯时,一个衣服褴褛的小男孩,敲着车窗问他要不要买花,他递出两块美金,由于绿灯已亮,而后面的人正猛按喇叭催着他,因此他粗暴的对正问他要什么花的男孩说:“什么颜色都可以,你只要快一点就好。”

那男孩十分礼貌的说:“谢谢你,先生。”

在开了一小段路后,他有些良心不安,他粗暴无礼的态度,却得到对方如此有礼的回应。他把车停在路边,回头走向孩子表示歉意,并且又再给了两块美金,要他自己买一束花送给喜欢的人,这个孩子笑了笑并道谢接受。

当他回去要发动车子时,发现车子故障了动也动不了。在一阵忙乱后,他决定步行找拖吊车帮忙。正在思索时,一辆拖吊车已经迎面驶来,他大为惊讶,司机笑着对他说,有一个小孩给了我四块美金,要我开过来帮你,并且还写了一张纸条,他打开一看,上面写着:“这代表一束花。”

=====

喜欢这些故事吗?如果喜欢,就把它当一束花让别人分享吧!!

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Friday, November 24, 2006

10 Handsome Guys (Updated)

lim peh ka li kong

Since me did the 10 Beautiful Girls, me may as well do something on 10 handsome guys.

As guys do not attract me like girls do, guess that´s why me ain´t able to fill up all 10 Handsome Guys leh, only managed to have 8, me will still post up 10 Handsome Guys with the help of my readers.

So, please provide your view of handsome guys and hopefully me can fill up the gap, kam siah..

1) Fei Xiang 费翔
费翔 appeared long time ago but he was rather young and had a baby-face then. As he aged over the years, he looks better and his charm has always made the gals drool.


2) Leslie Cheung 张国荣
Leslie Cheung 张国荣 was indeed a Superstar during his primetime in show business. He had held a Farewell Concert and later stepped back into the Lime-light again. A great lost when he decided to end his life in a rather tragic way.


3) Takeshi Kaneshiro 金城武
He started his career path in Taiwan as a Singer but frankly speaking, he cannot sing well. It was a wise move when he left Taiwan and ventured into Hong Kong and later into Japan. Now he is one of the BIGGEST Star in the Chinese Society.


4) Wentworth MillerTo be honest, me don´t know him at all, that is to say before me got myself hooked in the T.V. drama "Prison Break". The story line is interesting and rather exciting and he definitely stood up among all the prisoners in the drama.


5) Hideaki Takizawa 龙泽秀明Apart from seeing his photo once in a while in the Newspaper or some 娱乐八卦杂志, me know nothing about him except he does have a handsome face.


6) Park Yong Ha 朴龙河 He was the 第二男主角 in the popular Korean Drama 冬季恋歌 with everybody concentrating on 第一男主角Bae Yong Jun 裴勇俊. Although most gals will prefer 裴勇俊 to 朴龙河, me still think 朴龙河 is better looking.


7) Jimmy Lin 林志颖He was the Pretty Face from Taiwan to stop the monopoly Pretty Boy Syndrome - Arron Kwok 郭富城 when 郭富城 conquered the millions of young gals heart then. Though 林志颖 is around 30 now, his pretty baby face still stays with him.


8) Edison Chen 陈冠希
Another pretty face but this boy has a rather "Bad Boy" look and rather 踹 and 怪烂. As the saying goes: 男人不坏、女人不爱.

9) Daniel Wu 吴彦祖At certain angle, this young man does look a little bit like Andy Lau 刘德华. Refused to be clssified as a Pretty Face, he had been taking up roles which really geared up his acting skill. One of his show which me think his acting skill improved a lot is 旺角黑夜.

10) Hugh Jackman

Hugh Jackson, to many, is known for acting in the X-Men series. Actually he also acted in Van Helsing, Swordfish, Someone Like You, Kate & Leopold etc. Many girls fall for his charm with the different roles he played in the different movies but me think he still looked the best in the show Kate & Leopold.

After seeing all the handsome faces, me can only say @#€$%&, why me don´t have a handsome face like they have?

lim peh kong wan liao

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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Why? Why?? Why???

lim peh ka li kong

Received the following email from a friend.

=====

Why, Why, Why ?

**Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

**Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

**Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

**Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

**Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

**Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

**Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

**Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

**Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

**Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

**Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

**How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

**When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

**Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

**In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

**How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?*

*The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you who is insane*

=====

lim peh kong wan liao

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What Goes Around Comes Around

lim peh ka li kong

Saw this in Kurakat´s blog. A good read to me.

Click here to read.

// Quote //

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

What goes around comes around

He almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road. But even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her?

He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you. He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson."

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire.

But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through.

She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him.

This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "And think of me." He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant.

Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger.

Then she remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be.

Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote:

"You don't owe me anything.
I have been there too.
Somebody once helped me out,
the way I'm helping you.
If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do:
Do not let this chain of love end with you."
Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard..

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."

**************

There is an old saying "What goes around comes around.." Today, I sent you this story (via a blog entry), and I'm asking you to pass it on (in any mode which you are comfortable with)... Let this light shine. Don't delete it. Please pass this on to a friend. "Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there."

posted by Kurakat at Tuesday, November 21, 2006


// Unquote //

lim peh kong wan liao

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Monday, November 20, 2006

佛陀的一个故事 / A Buddha´s Story

佛陀成佛以后,很多人都很尊敬他,可是有一个小流氓,他不相信佛陀这么伟大。

有一天就跑到佛陀那里去,对佛陀胡说八道,讲完了,佛陀笑一笑说:“你说的很有道理。”

这个小流氓听了很高兴,他骂佛陀,佛陀居然还说他讲的很有道理。

佛陀就问他说:“你家里过年的时候,办喜事的时候,有没有送给亲友们礼物啊?”

他说:“有啊!父母都叫我送去给亲戚朋友。”

佛陀说:“如果你送这么好的礼物给亲朋好友,而人家不收时,你怎么办?”

他说:“那还是我的东西,我带回来就好了嘛!”

佛陀就说:“那么,你今天对佛陀说的话,我认为是很好的礼物,可是我不接受。你自己带回去好了,怎么样呢?”

小流氓这下没有话讲了,他知道错了。。。

** 原文取自 “动中好修行 --- 圣开法师” 新加坡人乘佛教文化出版社

=====

For those who did not read my post earlier, I had actually done a direct translation on the contents above, trying to allow the non-Chinese readers to understand what I posted but was badly done due to my lousy pathetic translation skill.

A comment was left by a reader with the correct English version and I must thank that person for his effort.

Thank You Very Much.

(Please click onto my comment field to get a better understanding of the content in English.

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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

How The Company Views Its Employees (HE vs SHE)

lim peh ka li kong

Is there such a thing as Fairness? You tell lim peh la.

How the company views its employees. (HE VS SHE)

The family picture is on HIS desk.
Ah, a solid, responsible family man.
The family picture is on HER desk.
Umm, her family will come before her career.

HIS desk is cluttered.
He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.
HER desk is cluttered.
She's obviously a disorganised scatterbrain.

HE is talking with his co-workers.
He must be discussing the latest deal.
SHE is talking with her co-workers.
She must be gossiping.

HE's not at his desk.
He must be at a meeting.
SHE's not at her desk.
She must be in the ladies' room.

HE's not in the office.
He's meeting with customers.
SHE's not in the office.
She must be out shopping.

HE's having lunch with the boss.
He's on his way up.
SHE's having lunch with the boss.
They must be having an affair.

The boss criticised HIM.
He'll improve his performance.
The boss criticised HER.
She'll be very upset.

HE got an unfair deal.
Did he get angry?
SHE got an unfair deal.
Did she cry?

HE's getting married.
He'll get more settled.
SHE's getting married.
She'll get pregnant and leave.

HE's having a baby.
He'll need a raise.
SHE's having a baby.
She'll cost the company money in maternity benefits.

HE's going on a business trip.
It's good for his career.
SHE's going on a business trip.
What does her husband say?

HE's leaving for a better job.
He knows how to recognise a good opportunity.
SHE's leaving for a better job.
Women are not dependable.

Fair?

lim peh kong wan liao

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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

10 Beautiful Girls

lim peh ka li kong

Different people have different tastes and views on certain issues. Different men view girl girl as beautiful differently and me was thinking that night, when me couldn´t sleep, what kind of girl girl will be considered as beautiful.

With my eyes closed, my mind wandered far away in a beautiful land with those beautiful girl girl...

1) Shu Qi 舒淇

The first time me saw Shu Qi acting was, ahem, a Category III Hong Kong movie. Though I must say her body was, eh still is, beautiful, I actually like her lips more. I was in fact quite happy when she stopped making Category III movies but kena quite a lot of insults from my hum-sap kakis when I voiced out my view to them.

2) Lee Li Chen 李丽珍 She has a pretty face and innocent cum ignorant look. Half way through her career, she too became the actress in some Category III movies. Stop the smutter, dirty, filthy smile on your face ok!?!? I think she is beautiful in her own unique way, not just her vital stats. Lately she has become rather weird with all the lousy news of her. My impression on her changed drastically but me still think she is pretty.

3) Kuan Zhi Lin 关芝琳 She was once my idol and I really think she was one of the most beautiful lady then. Saw her recently in the papers and though she does look older but she still looks good to me.

4) Zhong Li Ti 钟丽缇 Hmmm, although she is already a mother of one, her sexiness still lingers around her though, like Kuan Zhi Lin, she has somehow aged but gives her a more matured image. Just look at her body face.

5) Akina 中森明菜 How can I not classify her as a all-time favourite beautiful girl? Although me do not understand a single song she sang but just looking at her was enough to sweep Old Beng off the ground. She was one Goddess to all young men during those good old days.

6) Angelina Jolie She is SEXY, she is HOT, she is BEAUTIFUL. Need I say more?

7) Aishwarya Rai Though I can´t even pronounce her name correctly but boy, she has the most beautiful face I must say. Beauty leaves no border at all.

8) Lin Zhi Lin 林志玲


Pretty face, nice figure plus good EQ = Lin Zhi Lin 林志玲. Her 嗲-ness really makes a lot of "麻甩佬" drool over her.

9) Cecilia Cheung 张柏芝 Many say she resembles Lin Qing Xia 林青霞. To me she is better cos she has the plus point for being young. A very pretty girl indeed.

10) Cha-bo-lang

Of all the girl girl whom me have mentioned, the most beautiful woman in this world to me is still my cha-bo-lang. Of course la, if not how will I want to marry her? (This last one very important, if left out, lim peh ka li kong, sure will have World War III). ^_^"""

lim peh kong wan liao

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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Frequently Asked Questions

lim peh ka li kong

Since me started blogging, me is like a sotong - 7 hands 8 legs, grabbing and posting all kinds of issues in my blog. Old Beng´s tales with his 12 children; Daily life with photgraphs; 10 Signs; Cartoons; 狮城怪谈; 散文与心情; Other Bloggers´ interesting links;

Just my answers to some of the frequently asked questions.

Q: What is "lim peh ka li kong" and "lim peh kong wan liao"?
A: "Let me tell you" and "I have finished talking".

Q : Are your stories real?
A : Some real, some not so real and some totally not real.

Q : Your wife really looks like Fiona Xie and you really have 12 children meh?
A : The best jokes are true and the best truths are jokes. 真亦假时假亦真,做人何必太认真?

Q : Why do you want to lie in your postings?
A : Fictitious issues are more interesting and enjoyable but "lie" is too strong a word.

Q : Why do you want to blanco your face in the photographs?
A : Me happy, me like, me shiok what.

Q : Then may as well don´t put your photo la.
A : Then you may as well don´t read lor.

Q : Why don´t you write about politics issues and criticise our current Government which I believe you can write very well?
A : Don´t know anything about politics and please don´t try to teach your father how to f... ok!

Q : Why don´t you add in some spices and use more vulgarity to enhance your postings and make it more humourous and interesting like Rockson´s?
A : Hello? Vulgarity is never my cup of tea, go write your own blog if you so love vulgarity.

Q : Do you delete comments which are left in your blog?
A : Depending on the contents but YES I do delete comments if I find them inappropriate.

Q : Why? Don´t you believe in freedom of speech?
A : Of course, freedom of speech is only for me in my blog but not open to public. You want to have freedom of speech? Go write your own blog.

Q : Would you mind me linking your blog or link some of your postings?
A : Not at all, in fact it is an honour to be linked but hope that I can be notified so that I can thank you.

Q : How can I get in touch with you?
A : Leave comment in my blog or you can email me at old_beng@yahoo.com.sg

Q : Where do you get the ideas of the 10 signs? Did you copy them from somewhere?
A : 10 signs are solely my own creation and I always acknowledge if I am quoting some ideas.

Q : 你的华文文章多数都注明为 “旧著”,什么意思?
A : 很多年前,当老明还是小明时,曾多次投稿于报章与杂志,当时被刊登的稿就是我现在 upload 为 “旧著”。

Q : 为何总是 “旧著”,没新著吗?
A : 当然有 “新著” 啦,只是想先把 “旧著” upload 完。所写过的 “新著” 就有 “最。。。/对联”、“姨母”、“忆先父”、“福建童谣” 等等。

Q : 你曾拥有过的笔名?
A : 雷城、洪城、若现。

Q : 当时的你有自己的专栏吗?
A : “狮城怪谈”、“鬼话连篇”、“凡夫俗子” 以及 “醉入红尘”。

Q : “狮城怪谈” 里的故事都是真实的吗?
A : 对,都是真实的, 恐怖吗?

Any more questions for me?

lim peh kong wan liao

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Friday, July 28, 2006

Mathematics Expansion

lim peh ka li kong

Read this posting in Kurakat´s Blog.

Students nowadays really power leh, dare to submit this type of answer, me just can´t stop laughing when me saw his answer.

Think the teacher marking the paper aslo cannot tahan him with the remarks, "Very funny Peter".

You can read it here.
* Source from Kurakat's Blog *

// Quote //

Friday, July 21, 2006

Expansion of a Mathematical Expression

Now Boys and Girls, Do you expand a mathematical expression in this way? Do you? (P.S. see the proposed solution on the right)
posted by Kurakat at Friday, July 21, 2006

// Unquote //

lim peh kong wan liao

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Intereseting New Meaning of Words

lim peh ka li kong

Me saw this blog by ZenEkz, a new interesting way to look at the meanings of the words.

You will know what I mean if you click here.
* Source from ZenEkz blog *

// Quote //

THE NEW OXFORT DICKTIONARY

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn : The only time some people ever get to open their mouth.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience : The name people give to their mistakes.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

//ZenEkz counting dwn 8days//



// Unquote //

lim peh kong wan liao

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