lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

More Lau Hero & No Eyes Jokes

lim peh ka li kong

You want more jokes on Lau Hero and No Eyes? Ok, here's 2 for you:


Lau Hero walks into a bar and sees his friend No Eyes slumped over the bar.

He walks over and asks No Eyes what's wrong.

"Well," replies No Eyes, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Lau Hero with a laugh.

"Well," says No Eyes, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!", says Lau Hero, "When are you going out?"

"Well, I went to meet her this evening," continues No Eyes, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."

"Hmmm, sensible", says Lau Hero.

"So I get to her door," says No Eyes, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest, sexiest dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

No Eyes slumps back over the bar again. "I kicked her in the face."


The queen of England was visiting one of Singapore's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient Lau Hero was masturbating.

"Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?"

The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly."

"Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.

On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient No Eyes a blow job.

"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"

The Doctor replied, "Same problem, richer patient."


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