Things My Cha-Bo-Lang Cannot Stand

lim peh ka li kong

Being imprisoned married for so many years, I know my cha-bo-lang pretty well. I also know of some things she cannot stand me doing which me usually do behind her back but sometimes kena caught by her. =_="""

1) Dig gold until no day no night. (Skip this point 1 if you are eating now)
Lim peh also dont know why leh, this digging habit of mine just clings onto me for the longest time. Actually hor, digging is okay one la just do not roll it between your thumb and finger and then 弹 shoot it out like a bullet can liao.

2) Slack completely in the sofa watching T.V. after meal - A real potato 大番薯
Who will actually sit in an upright posture at home after a hard day´s work while resting? Somemore after a sumptuous dinner and watching T.V.? At home sure must relax lah so once in a while we should slack a bit at home.

3) Shake leg
Lim peh think ah, for men to shake legs is ok one la, girl girl shake legs then not so nice. The Chinese believes that if your shake your leg then your wealth will also be shaken away. No wonder lim peh no money leh.

4) Keeping my hair too long
Actually hor, now that I still have hair I should try to keep it long long if not later no hair, want to keep also cannot then how? Lim peh change my mind in keeping long hair after my cha-bo-lang told me, "Lau Beng, you look at least 20 15 10 5 years younger with short hair la." Immediately after her words of wisdom, lim peh went to cut my hair short short, ya ya me vain-pot, can?

5) Spend too much time in front of the computer
You know la, since me love to write blogs, how not to spend time in front of the computer but my cha-bo-lang thinks otherwise? She feels that by spending 8 to 9 hours in the office facing the computer is bad enough thus she refrains requests me not to use computer at home. So my beloved, nice, friendly, avid, yan-dao, chio readers, if one day you find my blog growing grass due to the lack of updating, you know the culprit reason to it.

6) Use too much Mobile phone unnecessarily
My cha-bo-lang very kiasi health conscious one, she detests people from using the mobile phones. So when me talk cock discuss important issues with my buddies using the handphone, she will sure to give me her dagger stare.

7) Buy too much 4D
You know what is the problem with buying 4D? Difficult to strike? Wrong la. The most difficult part with buying 4D is when you buy some numbers for a while and then you tell yourself you will stop buying after this month then bingo your numbers open and your strike some money, usually not much la, maybe around $500 to $1,000. So having tasted the shiokness of striking 4D, you will continue to buy some more numbers and then after 3 months not even a fart and just before you plan to let go, you strike a little bit again and the cycle goes round.

Stop buying completely? No way cos you scared once your let go your favourite 心水 number, it opens first price then you will sure 捶心肝, cow father cow mother one.

8) Don´t like to exercise
As age is catching up on me and laziness is my middlename, Exercise is really not my cup of tea BUT my cha-bo-lang will force psycho sweet-talk me to do exercise with her.

lim peh kong wan liao

TV Commercials

lim peh ka li kong

Today lim peh did something very stupid BUT for the sake of my cha-bo-lang I have no regrets in doing so and I will do it again if she wants me to.

Before telling you about the stupid act, let me share with you my views on the few advertisements which are air-ed in our local tv channels lately.

Recently, I have seen a few advertisements: some darn funny but some really cannot make it.

The 1 which me think really cannot make it is the stoopid dinosaur after drinking the drink left peacefully, somemore shed a tear...der.

1 that me like very much is the "... so how do you spell it...Singapore... hello... Mumbai... Mumbai la ..." and the Indian man shook his head in utter disbelief that some guy actually trunk-called to order food in India from Singapore, ha ha LMAO.

Another one is the one where 2 gangster-look-alike men demanded from the shopkeeper for "Can you give me Anything" and the shopkeeper offered everything except the drinks and was humtum-ed makes me smile, not because of the violence but the comical facial expression.

Lastly, the recent "Takuya Kimura 木村拓哉" Gatsby Moving Rubber is quite cute although many find the commercial quite bo-liao.

Ok, back to my stupid act this morning.

My cha-bo-lang wasn´t feeling well when she woke up and according to her, the ceiling was spinning when she tried getting out of bed.

Before I left for work, I raised my both hands and pull my hair (although not much hair by comparison), and I started to sing, "Give me Gatsby... la la la la..." and did the slow body spins and swaying my body in slow motion JUST LIKE Takuya Kimura 木村拓哉 in the Gatsby commercial.

My cha-bo-lang looked at me, don´t know to cry or laugh, (不知好气还是好笑) but she laughed at last.

Yeah yeah I know la, this middle-aged fatty-bom-bom uncle cannot compare to the 万人迷 Takuya Kimura 木村拓哉 but to see my cha-bo-lang laughing at my stupid act is worth my effort.

lim peh kong wan liao

10 Things I Missed

lim peh ka li kong

There are many things in this world when gone will never be able to come back again, only memories stay with us.

I missed the followings very much...

1) My childhood games especially the outdoors games of catching spiders, playing marbles, flying kites etc.

2) The pampered feeling my gramma showered me unconditionally.

3) The nice things I did together with my dad, having tim sum, watching movies, test-driving of cars, discussion on current affairs, smoking together after a sumptuous dinner, etc.

4) Schooling days.

5) Talked the nights through with buddy before we are married (not to each other but separately).

6) The overwhelming excitement sensation during courtship time that lingered in my heart just before she turned up for our date.

7) The joy the moment you open the examination paper and found that all that you had studied appeared in the examination questions.

8) The good old days whereby the food we bought cost lesser but somehow tastier.

9) You know practically every neighbour living in your neighbourhood and our doors were never locked during the day.

10) Not pai-seh (shy) to take off my shirt anytime to show off my 6-packed.

lim peh kong wan liao

Dentist

lim peh ka li kong

Got one night, me suddenly woke up from lim peh´s deep sleep with a sharp pain on my teeth.

@#€$%&@! At 2 am, the pain was very acute and bo-bian, me went to the toilet and brushed my teeth. Surprisingly, the brushing helped to stop the toothache and lim peh could sleep again.

The following few days passed as usual with no pain but during 1 night while I was visiting my mum in the Hospital (she had a spinal operation), the darn toothache hit me again.

Despite brushing my teeth 3 to 4 times that night, the pain stayed with me and just refused to subside.

The next day, me quickly visited my usual Dentist - Dr Chey at Paragon and after a quick check, my Dentist advised me to proceed to NDC (National Dental Centre) to do an X-ray prior to any extraction/operation. Dr Chey was very nice, despite checking my teeth for about 5 minutes, he did not charge me any fees.

When me reached NDC, wah-lau, there were about 20 - 30 people waiting for their turns before me.

After more than an hour of waiting, me finally met a young, pretty Dentist - Dr Tong Huei Jinn (Department of General Dentistry). She checked my teeth and sent me for X-ray taking, 2 X-rays some more.

By the time the X-rays were ready, it was already 5:20 pm and after viewing my teeth which was decayed near the root of my inner upper molar, Dr Tong Huei Jinn fixed the extraction the morning after.

So, the decayed molar tooth was the one giving the problem and since I was there for the extraction, Dr Tong Huei Jinn had also planned to do some thorough scaling, cleaning and fillings at the same time.

The next morning, me met up with Dr Tong Huei Jinn again and after cleaning, drilling, scaling and fillings done by her, she told me, "Mr Beng, I have finished my part and now I will introduce my colleague to you to do the extraction of your decayed molar."

HUH!?!?!? Why must change colleague?

"Eh... may I know your colleague is a boy or girl?"

"He is a boy."

"Is there any specific reason as to why there is a need to change to him instead of you doing it?" Of course I did not tell her that I prefer girl girl to boy boy.

"Boy has more strength to pull out the molar." Dr Tong Huei Jinn answered with a smile.

WA-PIANGZ!!!!!

Don´t say not scary hor when lim peh heard her saying got more strength to pull out my molar. =_="""

Luckily, her colleague, Dr Soong Poh Luon (Department of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery), a young man, was very gentle and well-experienced. After injecting LA into my upper jaw and near the inner upper Molar tooth, within 15 seconds, the decayed molar was out from my mouth.

Dr Soong Poh Luon told me that there might be some pain after the LA wore out and if the pain was untahanable, I can eat some pain killer. Although the lobang was quite big, he did not stitch the wound up for me.

The LA lasted for about 2 to 3 hours and the pain sneaked onto my mouth quietly, pretending to be un-noticeable.

That night, before I went to bed, I swallowed 2 panadol and slept soundly.

The following day was a Saturday and although NDC was closed on that Saturday, Dr Soong Poh Luon still arranged to review me at an outpatient clinic just to make sure that the wound was not bleeding and healing well.

So, if you are having teeth problem, please make an appointment with NDC or any private dental clinic cos lim peh tell you, no pain is like toothache and furthermore, the Dentists nowadays are all young, friendly and good looking. Many many handsome young men and pretty girl girl :)

lim peh kong wan liao

A Snake In The House

lim peh ka li kong

Today early early, 天未光、狗未吠, sky also not yet fully bright and dog hasn´t even bark, the rapid knockings on my bedroom door woke lim peh up. It´s our maid knocking our bedroom door and she told us a shocking piece of news, "got snake in the house, sir."

Me quickly rushed out to the kitchen to take a look to see if it really was a snake or maybe just an earthworm.

Snake (Oh-oh, seen by them liao)

or

Earthworm? (Not me la, me playing happily in the park)

When me took a look, nabeh, really got a snake but luckily it was still only a baby snake, the full body length of about 10 inches. (The body is black in colour with a triangular head and some white lines around its body)

lim peh very clever one, took a pair of normal chopsticks to try to pick the baby snake by its neck. (Me always see on National Geographic Channel, the experts always catch hold of the BIG snake easily, bare-handed somemore).

While lim peh was concentrating hard trying to catch the baby snake with the pair of chopstick, a roar hit me from behind, "Lao Beng, what are you doing? Catching a poisonous snake with a pair of stupid chopsticks? Kiang tio hor, mai keh-kiang." My cha-bo-lang was standing behind me.

She took a pair of metal tongs from the drawers and while she tried to pick up the baby snake, the snake was agitated and numerous times, the snake stood on its belly and attacked the tongs. The baby snake actually moved around rapidly and stood up with a "I-am-ready-to-bite-you" posture.

Luckily, within few minutes, cha-bo-lang caught hold of the baby snake and put it into a plastic bag and told our maid to send it the the nearby Police Post.

"Lao Beng, what are you thinking ah? Catching a cobra-look-alike snake with a pair of chopsticks!!"

"Huh? Cobra meh? I thought just normal baby snake only what."

15 minutes after our maid left, a police officer called me and informed me that they will be contacting the authotiries from the Zoo to collect the baby snake.

Me informed the police officer to do a check around our area, cos when there is a baby snake, there sure to be a mother snake somewhere around and snakes normally give birth to more than 1 baby.

As a matter of fact, me and my cha-bo-lang once saw a snake (about 2 - 3 feet long) in the park when we went for our night stroll after our dinner about a year ago. Maybe that was 1 of its babies.

lim peh kong wan liao

** UPDATE : We were informed by the Authority from the Zoo that the baby snake which we caught was a Wolf snake also known as a House snake. It is not venomous and usually afraid of people and will run away upon seeing human beings. **

She Will Be Back...Tonight

lim peh ka li kong

She will be back tonight.

Woo Hoo.....

:))))))))))))))

lim peh kong wan liao

Snail Time

lim peh ka li kong

A day is like a decade, no, in fact, it´s more like a Century to me.

Everything is like in slow motion.

Nothing is interesting at all.

Even my favourite 炒米粉面 does not arouse my appetite.

BUT

Just 1 more lonely night to endure.

1 more day to go......

lim peh kong wan liao

Still Without You

lim peh ka li kong

This morning when me woke up....

There was no one there to try to out-run me to use the toilet.

There were no fingers poking into my nostrils to stop my snoring last night.

For more than 24 hours liao, I never hear a single nagging.

I do things my way, my choice, my decision.

I have 100% freedom, to eat, to do things, to just nuah around. (Such rare occasions and opportunities for a married man).

YET...

I am not a bit happy at all.

It is now that I know that I am 贱骨头 yearning for her nagging.

It is now that I understand the true meaning of "Taking things for granted".

It is now that I truly realise that my life is never complete without her around.

2 more days to go......

lim peh kong wan liao

Without You

lim peh ka li kong

The minute she walked into the Departure Hall, I knew nothing will be good to me for the next few days.

I am so very right!

=====

Today everything doesn´t seem right to me.

The food is tasteless.

The music from the radio is just un-tahanable noise.

Even the air sucks.

The bed will definitely be too BIG for me tonight.

I am very moody, hyper pushy and extremely restless.

It´s like PMS or an old man going through andropause.

=====

3 days to go.......

lim peh kong wan liao

10 Reasons Why You Must Read Old Beng´s Blog

lim peh ka li kong

If anyone were to ask you why waste spend time reading Old Beng´s blog, these are the 10 LAME GOOD reasons to answer them:

1) Get scared by reading his not so scary Chinese written Ghost stories 狮城怪谈 and his incidents.

2) Learn some basic Chinese characters by reading his old Chinese articles.

3) Be directed to other very bo-liao good bloggers at the side-bars of his blog.

4) Learn some kns interesting Hokkien dialects.

5) Can see Old Beng sweating like crazy when cha-bo-lang stares at him (Admit it la, you all are just plain saddists, like to see the poor uncle someone facing troubles) .

6) Read crap good comments left by others.

7) Help to boost his hits counter. He he he, kam siah you. ^_^"""

8) Can see his photo (although the face always kena blanco-ed) .

9) Free entertainment although sometimes not so satisfying. (Hello, free one somemore want to complain? Beggars can´t be choosers hor and by the way no fish, prawn also good la).

10) Nothing better to do.

So remember to read Old Beng´s blog at least once a day since it makes you smile, scared, feel more superior after reading his half past six Singlish English, improvement in your Hokkien and most of all, it´s free entertainment for all what.

lim peh kong wan liao

10 Weird Facts About Me

lim peh ka li kong

1) I don´t drink Beer at all.
Most men love Beer but not me leh, I used to drink Beer in my younger days but as I grow older, I cannot tahan the taste anymore and thus switching to wine instead.

2) I don´t like Soccer.
Manyatimes when a group of friends gather together and talk about Soccer matches, I am always left sitting quietly in the corner, bo-bian la, me really don´t like Soccer. (Me prefer table-tennis).

3) I just love to dig gold.
It sure sounds disgusting but the "shiokness" one gets in doing so is unexplainable although my cha-bo-lang also reprimanded me whenever she saw me digging. (Old habit dies hard).

4) I love reading 亦舒 novels.
Love stories Novels are usually read and loved by girl girl but don´t know why leh, me just love reading 亦舒 novels. (Not many guys will admit so).

5) I turn sweaty, especially under my eyes whenever I eat spicy food.
Although I love to eat spicy food but yeah, I always perspire like crazy whenever I eat spicy food even if it is not spicy all.

6) When I am driving alone, I drive rather fast BUT when there is passenger on board, I drive like a Ah-Pek. (Responsibility mah).

7) I love playing mahjong but only play about 2 - 3 times a year. (Scared to lose money?).
The main reason for me to play mahjong is to get in touch with friends and relatives during the game and not so much of the monetary issue.

8) I cannot squat properly. (Ankle injury)

9) I am afraid of monkey. (Attacked by a monkey when I was about 5 years old and landed in hospital). Recent encounter with monkey.

10) I can fall asleep even with the bedroom lights on, TV set blasting and cha-bo-lang nagging beside. (A blessing in a way).

lim peh kong wan liao

Anniversary

To My Cha-Bo-Lang

Happy Anniversary

Thank You

Thank You For Everything

16 December, 2006

Gratitude

42 years ago, a woman probably went through great pain in delivering her child to this world.

Today, I thank my mum for giving birth to me then.

Thanks Mum.

Me, Sis and Mum (Photo taken in 2005)

我的投稿路程

在老明还是个小明的时候，便喜欢东写写，西写写。什么都写，新诗、散文、鬼故事、影评、电视剧简介、八卦新闻、论明星、评歌星等等。

有时候真的是 “为赋新诗强说愁”。

当学生的时候，也曾投稿于南洋商报、联合早报、学校书刊。当时年少，为自己取了一个不知所谓的笔名 ：“雷诚”。

离开学校之后，摇笔杆子的兴趣还是不减，便开始把稿件投去一些娱乐性的周刊：“影视周刊”，“新周刊” 以及 “每周影视”。

随着年龄的增加，心态的转变，把 “雷城” 冠上自己的姓改为 “洪城” ，也用了另一个笔名 “若现”。

然后，不知是否工作量增加了、心情略变了还是没时间，逐渐的，人也懒了，稿也少写了，最终不了了之。

直至2005 年，终于 “姣婆守不住寡”，在 Blog 里又开始写一些心情小品。

会不会再次停笔？没想这么遥远，看心情、看心态。想写就写，想停就停。嗯。

当时被报章所刊登的其中两篇学生时期写的稿 - 雷城

“影视周刊” 所连载的 “狮城怪谈” - 洪城

1988 年尾为 “影视周刊” 所写的娱乐八卦稿 - 洪城

“影视周刊” 的 “凡夫俗子” 里的散文 – 洪城

“新周刊” 的 “鬼话连篇” – 洪城

“新周刊” 的 “醉入红尘” – 洪城

“每周影视” 的 “我是 QC 注重品质” – 若现

“每周影视” 的心情小品 – 若现

Frequently Asked Questions

lim peh ka li kong

Since me started blogging, me is like a sotong - 7 hands 8 legs, grabbing and posting all kinds of issues in my blog. Old Beng´s tales with his 12 children; Daily life with photgraphs; 10 Signs; Cartoons; 狮城怪谈; 散文与心情; Other Bloggers´ interesting links;

Just my answers to some of the frequently asked questions.

Q: What is "lim peh ka li kong" and "lim peh kong wan liao"?
A: "Let me tell you" and "I have finished talking".

Q : Are your stories real?
A : Some real, some not so real and some totally not real.

Q : Your wife really looks like Fiona Xie and you really have 12 children meh?
A : The best jokes are true and the best truths are jokes. 真亦假时假亦真，做人何必太认真?

Q : Why do you want to lie in your postings?
A : Fictitious issues are more interesting and enjoyable but "lie" is too strong a word.

Q : Why do you want to blanco your face in the photographs?
A : Me happy, me like, me shiok what.

Q : Then may as well don´t put your photo la.
A : Then you may as well don´t read lor.

Q : Why don´t you write about politics issues and criticise our current Government which I believe you can write very well?
A : Don´t know anything about politics and please don´t try to teach your father how to f... ok!

Q : Why don´t you add in some spices and use more vulgarity to enhance your postings and make it more humourous and interesting like Rockson´s?
A : Hello? Vulgarity is never my cup of tea, go write your own blog if you so love vulgarity.

Q : Do you delete comments which are left in your blog?
A : Depending on the contents but YES I do delete comments if I find them inappropriate.

Q : Why? Don´t you believe in freedom of speech?
A : Of course, freedom of speech is only for me in my blog but not open to public. You want to have freedom of speech? Go write your own blog.

Q : Would you mind me linking your blog or link some of your postings?
A : Not at all, in fact it is an honour to be linked but hope that I can be notified so that I can thank you.

Q : How can I get in touch with you?
A : Leave comment in my blog or you can email me at old_beng@yahoo.com.sg

Q : Where do you get the ideas of the 10 signs? Did you copy them from somewhere?
A : 10 signs are solely my own creation and I always acknowledge if I am quoting some ideas.

Q : 你的华文文章多数都注明为 “旧著”，什么意思？
A : 很多年前，当老明还是小明时，曾多次投稿于报章与杂志，当时被刊登的稿就是我现在 upload 为 “旧著”。

Q : 为何总是 “旧著”，没新著吗？
A : 当然有 “新著” 啦，只是想先把 “旧著” upload 完。所写过的 “新著” 就有 “最。。。/对联”、“姨母”、“忆先父”、“福建童谣” 等等。

Q : 你曾拥有过的笔名？
A : 雷城、洪城、若现。

Q : 当时的你有自己的专栏吗？
A : “狮城怪谈”、“鬼话连篇”、“凡夫俗子” 以及 “醉入红尘”。

Q : “狮城怪谈” 里的故事都是真实的吗？
A : 对，都是真实的, 恐怖吗？

Any more questions for me?

lim peh kong wan liao

Happy Birthday 2006

You asked lim peh love you got how deep
Lim peh love you got how much
Lim peh’s sentiment also real
Lim peh’s love also real
The moon represents lim peh’s heart

You asked lim peh love you got how deep
Lim peh love you got how much
Lim peh’s sentiment never move
Lim peh’s love never change
The moon represents lim peh’s heart

Gently just one kiss
Already moved lim peh’s heart
Deep deep just one sentimental love
Kept lim peh thinking until now

You asked lim peh love you got how deep
Lim peh love you got how much
You go think thought think
You go see look see
The moon represents lim peh’s heart

Lim peh´s special Birthday Song to my cha-bo-lang.

Happy Birthday To You, Cha-Bo-Lang.

Old Beng

01 October 2006

Andy and Old Beng

lim peh ka li kong

Me think that it is very interesting in the bloggers´ world cos we actually get comments posted from people all over the world whom we may not have crossed our path if without the power of blogging.

There is this 1 particular reader of mine, who called himself Andy, never leaves comment in my blog but instead sent me emails on issues written by me which he had different views.

From his name, me take him as a guy but god knows if he really is a guy?

Recently, Andy sent me a long email re-capping my postings in my blog in the form of a survey and had asked me "politely" to give him a satisfactory reply.

Here it goes:

Andy : Old Beng, your entries lately, if compared to your earlier ones, are far less funny, what have you got to say?

Old Beng : Hmmm, is it? Nothing la, all that me can say is that even Comedians and Jokers have days when they are real down.

Andy : Looking at your earlier entries, your posts are very humourous, like "Old Beng went to Orchard Road", "Old Beng on MRT", "Old Beng and Dogs" just to name a few. Although what you wrote recently are also funny, they are of different levels.

Old Beng : Ah, now me understand. The earlier entries were written before my exposure and admitting that me was indeed not a real Old Beng with 12 children. Now that me have revealed my true identity, it is rather difficult for me to write something similar to those Old Beng´s tales.

Andy : So indeed, you run out of ideas?

Old Beng : Hmmm, maybe half right. Recently got a little bit more busy than usual thus affecting my writing thinking skills.

Andy : Is that also the reason why you have been using a lot of others´ articles, some lame jokes, emails and just linked from others´ blogs.

Old Beng : Me put up some jokes to share with readers and linked some good writing stuff from fellow bloggers because me believe in good things must share. On the other hand, sometimes when me is too busy to write, me will just put up something interesting.

Andy : Are you facing Writer´s block?

Old Beng : Ha ha, of course not la since me is no writer. Me only like to write write here and write write there and at the same time put some of my old Chinese articles and Ghost stories in my blog.

Andy : Many people seem to be rather puzzled that a self-proclaimed Ah Beng can go to so many expensive far away countries, what have you got to say?

Old Beng : Say what? Ah Beng cannot go tour is it? Me think only you puzzled only la.

Andy : I have been following your writing as far back as from the time you started writing in YMB, do you think you have changed a lot in your writing style since then?

Old Beng : Think me can put it this way: when me first wrote during the YMB time, there were lots of heated up issues written almost everyday and in order to cool down the situation, me started to create Old Beng and family and wrote some issues to make the YMB readers relax though me still got some negative feedbacks whereby people finger pointing at me for writing low class Singlish. After creating my own blog "lim peh ka li kong", it is more my very own playground and it is more to entertain myself than others and at times to record some of the happenings of my life with wife and friends. Change is definitely inevitable, just hope it is for the better.

Andy : So will you stop writing, if one fine day, you realise that the numbers of people reading your blog drop to maybe only 10 per day?

Old Beng : Huh, now got more than 10 meh? Actually, even if nobody reads my blog anymore, me will still write cos me know my cha-bo-lang will definitely read one. In fact, readers are like shoppers in the shopping mall : More people walk by than actually see the items and more people see the items than actually buying them. 逛的比看的多、看的比买的多.

Andy : Would you prefer your readers to leave their comments or it makes no difference to you?

Old Beng : Of course, me will very much like everyone who clicks / browses / reads my blog to leave a comment or two BUT just like me reading others´ blogs, me don´t always leave comments also. Since we cannot sell our blog like writing for papers and no money is made, comments will be the rewards all bloggers want to get, if not why create the comment field?

Andy : Whose blog do you read often? Rockson? Blinkymummy? Xiaxue?

Old Beng : Me do not really visit these "famous" blogs everyday but me have a rather wide scope for blogs reading. From local blogs to overseas blogs, from English to Chinese to Cantonese, from serious bloggers to cartoons blogs to jokers like me, me even read blogs written by very young people (as young as 15 years old students).

Andy : I realised that you are always trying very hard to be a "Good Man" image in your blog, are you living to it in real life?

Old Beng : HUH???? "Good Man" image? Don´t write vulgars or swears or curse does not classify me as a good man. Although it is my private playground, me must beware of youngsters who sometimes accidentally come into my blogs. Anyway, good or bad is very subjective one la.

Andy : If one day, you decide to stop your blog, will you announce it in your blog or just like some bloggers, just closed their blogs or just leave it hanging there?

Old Beng : Although me do not know everyone who reads my blog, think it is basic mannerism to announce in my blog should me choose to stop blogging one day. Why? Cos me treat my readers as friends and that is the least me can do should me really stop blogging.

Andy : Why do you always blanco your face in your photo?

Old Beng : Guess me is still not to comfortable to show my face.

Andy : Why? Too handsome or too ugly?

Old Beng : Nothing to do with look la dude, just don´t feel comfortable yet, who knows maybe in near future me will reveal my face in all my previous photos in my blog.

Andy : Why? As you know, Blinkymummy, Xiaxue, even some of your blogger friends like Xorpheus, Dandan, Elydia, also show their faces.

Old Beng : There are also many don´t show their faces. Rockson, Spinnee, Fireburn, Lau Hero, Sunflower, Sibeh Sian etc, so?

Andy : Isn´t it contradicting, on one hand, you are scared to show your face but on the other hand, you went out with the bloggers thus showing your face.

Old Beng : Face to face is better than only showing my face la and anyway, me enjoy meeting with blogger friends once in a while to meet up and chat.

Andy : Do you really think your blog is famous and full of humour?

Old Beng : No, don´t think my blog is famous at all, humour or not is very subjective but as me always say, this is my playground, you like to come, fine, if you think is lousy then please don´t bother to come in to read lor. BTW how come me sense the way you posing the questions to me in a rather KL hostile way? Why? Did me offend you?

Andy : Sorry if I sounded offensive but no, just trying to know you better. Anyway. thanks for your time.

Old Beng : No worries dude, glad that you are interested in me. (Not the brokeback interested la).

lim peh kong wan liao

To Start A Conversation

lim peh ka li kong

Last night after our dinner and while me was watching TV with my Xiao Ma Ge 小马哥(Little Horse Man), he turned around and asked me the following questions.

"Pa, do you know how to break the ice and start to know a stranger whom you have never spoken to?"

"Hmmm, for me now quite simple la, just nod, smile then say "Last night got watch World-cup or not...." then automatically 2 men will talk." Me replied.

"No la, Pa. I mean the other party is not a man but a girl."

Huh?!?!?! My Xiao Ma Ge big already is it? Starting to look at girl girl already? Only 15 and he is starting liao just like Old Beng me, ha ha ha, like father like son.

Seeing me kept quiet, my Xiao Ma Ge said, "Pa never mind la, take it as I didn´t ask you since you have no experience."

"What no experience? Lim peh ka li kong, when me was a young man like you ah, me got many many experience hor..."

"Many many? Must be you are not successful la that´s why many many, he he he." Xiao Ma Ge grinned upon hearing what I said.

"衰仔 you! How dare you make fun of me, really no big no small." Me faster denied. "Many many because there were too many swee cha-bo so what to do? Like my buddy Ah Huat always says "So many girls so little time". Anyway, let lim peh teach you a few tricks, sure you can start your conversation with the girl girl."

"Me still remembered the first time me saw a No-horse-run cha-bo, very pretty, very sexy, made me swallow my saliva everytime me saw her, me also thought for a few weeks as to how to approach her and strike a conversation with her. Finally, me had a plan and one fine afternoon when me saw her walking alone at the market, me quickly walked up to her and took out a 20-cent-coin and asked her, "hello miss, you got 2 10-cent to change me or not?" Me recalled.

"So how, Pa, you really the can." Xiao Ma Ge open his eyes big big.

"Ai yo, that girl replied me, "hello, you think I money changer is it? Don´t have la, go change with the coffee shop or provisional shop la." and gave me a fierce stare."

"Ha ha ha, Pa, you really 漏气." Xiao Ma Ge laughed loudly.

"Oei! Stop laughing ok. This tactic failed neh mind, me got many many more ways. Next me used another method to try to start the conversation with another girl who stayed 3 units away who had just moved in not long ago during my Secondary 4 time. Again me got a good chance when she left her home and waited for a bus at the bus-stop and walked up to her and asked her, "hello miss, do you know what bus got go to Queenstown Road huh?"

"Pa... ha ha ha ... you really super sia... ha ha ha... so successful bo?" Xiao Ma Ge laughing again.

"It was my mistake la, she looked at me and replied, "hello you very funny huh? I just moved here yet you are asking me about buses? You must be joking, I know you stay at unit no. 12-3456" so... failed again BUT neh mind one, me got another method sure can one but need the help of a friend."

"Pa tell me more," my Xiao Ma Ge very eager to know more of my tactics.

"Got one time both me and Ah Huat "look-up" on 2 girls in the next class..."

Xiao Ma Ge interrupted me halfway, "Pa what is "look-up", they lost huh?"

"Ai-yo, look-up means 看上 la. So one day during recess, Ah Huat and me finally found a great opportunity and walked up to the 2 of them and me told one of the girl, "My friend want to know your friend" and sure enough successful finally, Ah Huat got Par-tor with the other girl but me no got chance because me forgot to say me want to know her... sigh!"

"Ha ha ha, Pa, all your methods all failed leh but never mind, you are very helpful and I know what to do now." Xiao Ma Ge said it with such confident which made me wonder which method he would follow.

"Pa, all I need to do is avoid all your methods lor." And he laughed happily....

lim peh kong wan liao

Me

lim peh ka li kong

Was looking back at my 40 years of living and realised some issues, good and bad, which make up the person in me.

Characters Of Me
1) Humourous
2) Caring
3) Helpful

Soft Spots
1) Lady's tears
2) Old people
3) Animal lovers
4) Young children

Cha-bo-lang's Views On Me
1) Hot temple
2) KL
3) Black Face
4) Hardly say "NO" to friends and relatives seeking for help

* Hot temple - Yes when me was younger, now tone down a lot liao but at times really cannot take it, also will show a little bit of temple la, me no Saint

* KL - Don't agree cos me think me very timid one unless of course someone taking advantage on me or my family.

* Black Face - Me only will black face if me is angry but do not wish to start a quarrel with the other party thus choose not to talk and resulting in having a black face.

* Hardly say "NO" - When me was a young Beng, can hardly say NO to others' requests but as me get older, me is able to say "NO" more frequent.

Influential People On Me
1) Late Father
2) Cha-bo-lang

Most Regretful Event
1) Did not spend enough time with my late father when he was still around - 唉！子欲养而亲不在。。。

Things That Can Be Improved
1) More caring to my cha-bo-lang
2) Make more money
3) Exercise more - Tummy bigger liao

Bad Habits That Were Eliminated
1) Smoking
2) Clubbing
3) Mah-jonging
4) Heavy Breakfast

Bad Habits Still Cannot Eliminate
1) See girl girl
2) Shake leg
3) Dig Gold

Likes
1) Reading
2) Music
3) Meet up with friends to talk cock
4) Eat

Dislikes
1) Asking favours from others
2) Waking up early on off day

Hate
1) People who treat you as friend but only infront of you
2) KL people doing KL things just because they want to be KL without reason

Favourite Authors
1) Stephen King
2) 金庸
3) Old Beng - ha ha ha

Favourite Singers
1) 陈百强
2) 林子祥

Favourite Movies
1) Abyss
2) Twister
3) 回家/Going Home - Korean movie about a Grandmother and her grandson. Everytime I watch this VCD it will remind me of my beloved Grandmother...

Favourite Current TV shows
1) Lost
2) Desperate Housewives

Most Difficult Tasks
1) Sleeping earlier at night
2) Waking up earlier in the morning

Issues that will not be discussed by me
1) Politics - Scared go jail
2) Racist Issues - scared kena hum-tum

Plus Point of My Character
1) Can make friends with all ages and all walks

Minus Point of My Character
1) Sometimes talk too straight forward until 得罪人(make people angry/feel offended) also don't know

Great Joke
Have Tiger and Eagle tattoo-ed on both arm

Greater Joke
Cha-bo-lang looks like Fiona Xie

Greatest Joke
12 children

lim peh kong wan liao

Back Again

lim peh ka li kong

After a short break, me is finally back from Spain.

The weather is really good there, average range from 7 - 15 deg. (Although sometimes the strong wind did get us shivering despite wearing a few outfits)

Will post some of the photos taken by my cha-bo-lang there as she is a better camera-man than me.

Too busy to post anything long now, will do a proper one later after uploading the photos.

lim peh kong wan liao.

P/S: It's good to be back and my hand has started to get itchy - the urge to blog :)