lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Monday, July 28, 2008

My Cha-Bo-Lang's Skills

lim peh ka li kong

What do you think of these 2 pictures?

Penquins dancing merrily in the snow

It is a plastic cup filled with wax.

Inside the wax, there are 3 coloured-paper penquins (blue, green and red) surrounded by some trapped air-bubbles. Of course, there are other items apart from penquins which are not shown here.

The photos cannot do justice to the actual captivating beauty of the cup. The colour, the texture and the end-result of the actual product is far more beautiful than the lousy photo-taking skill of mine.

Anyway, this cup was done by my one and only cha-bo-lang.

If you haven't noticed and did not know, my cha-bo-lang is very creative and always comes out with many different kinds of fantastic ideas. From the decoration and designs of our house, to the small souvenirs for our relatives and friends. (I say this not because she is my cha-bo-lang and lim peh is not trying to show-off or boast).

Her quick mind + creative ideas + skillful hands = nice end products.

Hmmm, maybe lim peh can try to sell her creation? How much will you pay for one?

lim peh kong wan liao
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Friday, July 25, 2008

Anger Management

lim peh ka li kong

My friend, Lau Hero, called lim peh yesterday and told me his conversation with his wife:


Lau Hero : "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?"

Wife : "I clean the toilet."

Lau Hero : "How does that help?"

Wife: "I use your toothbrush ."


lim peh kong wan liao
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Wrong Constructions

lim peh ka li kong

Received the following email from a friend and find the construction really amazing!!

lim peh kong wan liao
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Friday, July 18, 2008





长颈鹿嫁给了猴子,一年后长颈鹿提出离婚, "我再也不要过这种上蹿下跳的日子了!"








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Monday, July 14, 2008

A Boy

lim peh ka li kong

Yesterday afternoon, while relaxing at home hiding from the very hot sun, a small boy about 10 years old came knocking at our house.

As our maid was sweeping the floor near the gate, she talked to the little boy, using her limited English.

After a while, our maid came and told us, "Sir, boy... money... no rice..."

I tell you ah, lim peh always have difficulty understanding what our maid says.

When I went to see the boy, I saw him standing under the sun.

"Yes, boy....?" I asked the boy who was looking at me.

"Er... can you give me $6 to buy rice?" The boy asked me.

"$6 to buy rice? What do you mean?"

The Little boy pointed his finger to his right and said,"My brother and I...."

I couldn't hear him clearly as he mumbled when he talked or was it lim peh's hearing got problem but I guessed he was trying to tell me that both his brother and him needed $6 to buy rice.

Lim peh was furious with the boys' parents for not providing food for their children which led them in asking for money from house to house.

"Where do you stay?" I asked the boy as I walked towards him.

"Teban Garden."

"Can you give me your address?"

The moment he heard me asking for his address, he turned and ran away.

I was really puzzled as to why the boy ran away.

Was he hungry?
Would his brother and him starve?
What kind of parents let their children going around asking for money to buy food?
Why did he run away when I asked for his address?
Was he afraid that I will confront his parents later?

Guess I will never know now....

lim peh kong wan liao
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Wednesday, July 09, 2008

10 Weird Facts About My Cha-Bo-Lang

lim peh ka li kong

lim peh wrote about my weird facts many months ago and now lim peh is writing down the weird facts of my cha-bo-lang.

1) Cha-bo-lang is very, extremely, super, duper, hyper afraid of EMF radiation from computer and telephone and that's the reason why she seldom uses her handphone or computer. On top of that, she always detests whenever she sees Old Beng using them.

2) Unlike some other women, she never likes branded bags like what Mango, Gucci, LV, Prada, LV etc etc and so what kind of bags does cha-bo-lang carry? Let me show you the bags she carries to work everyday

FOC bag from Mastercard N years ago

Free souvenir bag from Children's Society of Hong Kong
3) She loves stray dogs more than those "branded" ones and one of her favourite past time hobbies is to go around some ulu places in Singapore with some dog food to feed those stray dogs. Additional weird fact of her is that she can tolerate doggies' nonsensical acts more than children's misbehaved acts.

4) Cha-bo-lang loves bitter chocolates but everytime she has some chocolate, the after-effect she gets (within the next 10 minutes) is "stone-ness" and "sleepiness". Tell you one secret, normally if lim peh needs to discuss some issues and didn't want her to think too much, lim peh will give her some chocolates to eat first prior to our discussion. If no chocolate, any kind of sweet tidbits also can do the trick.

5) Again, unlike some women, cha-bo-lang does not put on cosmetics make-up, neither does she spray perfume thus lim peh never get shock every morning when I see her wake-up face.

6) Cha-bo-lang dislikes wearing a watch or any form of jewelry - she doesn't have a watch, no ring, no necklace, no bracelet, no ear-rings whatsoever.

7) Another weird fact of cha-bo-lang which lim peh finds it very amusing is her talent to be able to cook the almost same kind of tasty food which we ate outside. To be precise, she can cook almost as well as the Restaurant by just tasting the food once. A real weird talent.

8) Cha-bo-lang seldom buys clothings and she usually wears her clothings for a long long time; Some of her clothings which she wears to work now have been worn for more than 10 years liao.

9) Cha-bo-lang extremely loves to give away presents especially Christmas time; Not only lim peh have, siblings have, nieces and nephews have, neighbours' children will also have.

10) The weirdest fact will definitely be cha-bo-lang loving and marrying a person like old beng.

Looking at all her 10 weird facts, lim peh is not complaining at all. As a matter of fact, lim peh is more than happy to have such a cha-bo-lang with such weird facts.

lim peh kong wan liao
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Monday, July 07, 2008

A Fable

lim peh ka li kong

Received an interesting fable, share share:

(Note : A fable is a brief tale having a moral)


A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.

What food might this contain? The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mouse-trap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warnings:

There is a mouse-trap in the house!

There is a mouse-trap in the house!

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you but it is ofno consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mouse-trap in the house! There is a mouse-trap in the house!"

The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said, "There is a mouse-trap in the house!There is a mouse-trap in the house!"

The cow said, "Wow, Mr Mouse. I am sorry for you but it's no skin off my nose."

So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mouse-trap alone.

That very night a sound was headr throughout the house -- like the sound of a mouse-trap catching its prey.

The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught,

The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever.

Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.

But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbours came to sit with her around the clock.

To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.

So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse look upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

So, next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remeber -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.

We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

Remember, each of us is a vital thread in another person's tapestry; Our lives are woven toghther for a reason.

One of the best things to hold onto in this world is a friend.


If you like this tale, you may also want to read about The Cookie Thief

lim peh kong wan liao
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Thursday, July 03, 2008


原来世事真的是 “知易行难”,我常劝人要以平凡心来对待事情;没有必要为他人的所作所为、所说的话而生气、愤怒。


我以为我的 EQ 极高;

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Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Cats And Dogs

lim peh ka li kong

Received some of these nice pictures:

Ai-yo, these neow-kia really no big no small
You lost?

Wah-piangz, the mouths look exactly the same

Sama-sama bo?!

Swee bo?

I was told that the heart-shape fur is natural

Scared siah, that cat very fierce one hor, don't play play

Wonder how the photographer managed to capture all heads turned to one side at the right time?!
lim peh ka li kong
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