lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Friday, December 30, 2005

(十五年前之旧著)

今夜,我又再想起妳。

经过这许多年之后,我依然会忆起妳,想着我们以往在一起的快乐日子。我终于明白:时间是不会把感情冲淡,永不会!

几时才能再次像以往一般拥抱妳? 曾经,我是妳生活中的一部分,而今。。。?

缘尽了?! 似乎是的!

妳我都装着若无其事的背过身,默默地离开,一片平静。

妳我真的没有一丝的伤痛?还是彼此都一样的高傲,不肯向对方示弱?

明知道这是一条两人都会伤心的路,却还是得走下去。

妳恨我吗?怨我吗?还。。。爱我吗?

拥有妳是以前的事,但我清清楚楚的知晓我会永远想念妳。

在夜静无人时想想妳,让心一阵阵的痛,很自虐的享受那伤痛。

因为,伤痛至少让我想着妳,念着妳。

活过、爱过。

还有何怨?!还有何愿?!

世上有太多太多身不由己的事情,感情之事尤其是。

我始终相信,时间与空间是妳我之间的滤器。

在时间与空间分隔下,最终只留下自己。

剩下陪着自己的,就只有自己。。。

=====

2005 后语:

重读后,知晓一 blog 上这篇旧著,将会被 “损友们/好友们/朋友们/亲友们” 讽刺与揶揄,但又如何?

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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

MENU

lim peh ka li kong

Me received an email from a friend with some attachments of MENU (don't know which country one, try to figure it out yourself la).

My good gracious god, the translation very the Tok-Kong, read for yourself but be warned, there's some vulgarities but then hor, darn funny la.

Please sit tight prior reading, if not sure peng!!!

lim peh kong wan liao

* click pictures to enlarge *


干炒牛河 = Fxxk to fry the cow river (干 is fxxk and 牛河 is cow river)
上汤云吞 = Top soup cloud swallows (上 is top and 云吞 is cloud swallows)

牛油多士 = Butter many privates

法兰西多士 = France many privates

周打鱼汤 = The week beats the fish soup (周 is week and 打 is beats)

吞拿鱼薯仔沙律 = Swallow to take the fish sand (吞拿鱼 is swallow to take and 沙律 is sand)


黑椒猪扒 = The black the pig of picks (扒 as in 扒手 pick pocket so 扒 is pick)

猪扒哥顿布 = The pig picks the elder brother a cloth

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No Eye See See's View On Me

lim peh ka li kong

Have known this young man since YMB time and his crude way of writing always made me uneasy and yes, like all men, Old Beng do use the "F" word when angry but depending on occasions and with whom.

Anyway, share his blog here.
* Source from No Eye See See's blog *

// Quote //
Wednesday, December 28, 2005

The Old Beng I Know Through Cyber World

let me give a brief intro as to how i get to know my cyber friends. during the last few months in my army life, just waiting for ORD, i was able to surf the net during office hours and went in YMB by chance.

most of the postings there then were just plain shit without any fucking contents at all. by reading them will make my blood boiled and i usually go after those idiots who left stupid comments or those racist people, with my vulgarities of course.

think i had made many shook their heads upon reading my remarks as nobody had written such crude vulgarities there, except maybe a stupid fellow called hellbollytoon ha ha. it was during that time i came to know old beng, qin shi huang, ipromise, angeline7030, telokblangah and many more though the cyber world contacts only.

old beng has always been very nice and advising me to tone down and used less vulgarity and qin had always been there too. old beng and qin had been very close and clicked with each other quite well. through old beng's blog, i can tell (though i fully understand that cyberism is nothing but a fraud world, he who writes is probably not what he is) that he is in fact someone who is more than just a plain uncle beng.

sorry old beng your effort to disguise as an old beng was a total failure as not many bengs can write like you. however false image we get from bloggers, i think old beng is somewhat a very easy going, down to earth chap and definitely a man who can click with most people, and due to his age, he can tolerate things more and very diplomatic at times.

those who have met him can verify my points or not cos i have not had the opportuniy to meet him face to face.

think he will be scared to meet me cos i really love to use valgurity, old habits die hard friend, try coming out from army life.

then both old beng and qin set up each own's blog and yes i enjoyed reading their blogs everyday without fail. qin is again hyper active in the blogger world and he will leave comments in almost everyone's blog and from what i can see, he had chio many bloggers for gathering and i am sure he did it on a freindly motive only.

although old beng has already disclosed his true identity, a not so real beng, his articles in his blog (whether english or chinese) are still a good read, at least to me.

old beng, keep on writing old beng's tales and whatever old articles of yours written some 15 years ago, not forgetting your errie ghost stories.

i wish you and your cha bo lang a happy marriage life.
# posted by noeyesee @ 2:28 PM

// Unquote //

lim peh kong wan liao

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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Old Beng At Clementi Central

lim peh ka li kong

Last week got one night me and my cha-bo-lang went to Clementi Central to jalan jalan see see look look and also to pay my PUB bills. As the weather was very cooling, we just walked to Clementi hand in hand without driving.

I tell you ah, the PUB bill now like higher and higher leh, every month me have to pay very much but bo-bian la, cannot don't pay one, if not later they cut off our water and electricity supply more jia-liat.

As we walked past the Hawker Centre, the smell of Satay made me hungry again although we had our dinner at home before coming out. Think the smell was blown to us and we finally sat down and ordered some satay to eat. (Supposed to walk to Clementi to do some strolling exercise, yet ended up in eating Satay? How to keep a healthy life in Singapore when there's so much good food?)

After eating our Satay, we proceed to the Post Office to make payment for our PUB bills via the S.A.M Machine.

Think because Christmas was just round the corner, there were many many people there. While me was ordering a packet of Bamboo Juice, eh...I mean Sugar-cane juice, my cha-bo-lang proceeded to look at shoes in one of the shoe shop not far away.

After packing the drink, me walked towards my cha-bo-lang and on the way, a chio-bu walked towards me. I couldn't help but to stare at her cos she resembled Dolly Parton to certain extend if you know what I mean. Think that "Dolly Parton look-alike" doesn't know how to buy clothings for herself cos the T-shirt she was wearing was definitely 2 size smaller and Old Beng almost had a nose bled trying to read the Logo printed it.

As we were nearer to each other, Old Beng me shifted my body slightly to the left in order not to block her way and make sure that I would not accidentally knock her then no good la. This one if knock head-on or should I say chest-on sure internal injury 内伤 one.

At that moment when me moved my body to my left, "Dolly Parton look-alike" also moved her body to her right which was my left. Heng ah, me stopped immediately and of course moved my body to the right then to avoid collision but then hor, she also very cartoon one, she also moved to the same direction thus the 2 of us were like doing a dance step. Left right left right. Finally, we managed to walk past each other without any collision or body contact whatsoever. (Just wondering to myself, do I considered it as lucky or unlucky for not having body contact? - My conscience told me should not think too much about it but hello, Dolly Parton look-alike leh?)

When I saw my cha-bo-lang looking at me, whatever Parton also got to pardon me liao.

"Why? Lau Beng, new dance steps huh?" My cha-bo-lang looked at me.

"Eh...no la, where got dance....just that the road too narrow la." Me started to feel sweat dripping down my back when answering. Luckily my cha-bo-lang didn't say much and we proceed to the Post Office to make payment.

While me was scanning our PUB bill and keying in my ATM information, me saw a pink paper-bag sitting on top of the S.A.M machine just above our heads. Nobody was around us and me could see the shadow of wires through the paper-bag.

Me told my cha-bo-lang about it and stretched my hand to try to take the paper-bag down to see the contents inside.

"Oei, lau beng, don't you touch it." Cha-bo-lang slapped my hand.

"Ouch! Why you beat me?"

"How do you know it is safe to touch it? It could be an explosive item as you can see that there are wires in it." Cha-bo-lang said.

"No la, I think it is something that someone forgotten to collect when he placed it there to make payment only la."

"It is better safe than sorry."

"So how? Just leave it there lor and mind our own business and don't be K-poh la." Me then held my cha-bo-lang's hand and walked out of the Post Office.

"Lau Beng! How can you be so irresponsible? What if it really is a bomb? What if it exploded and tomorrow news will be flying everywhere then you think your big head can sleep peacefully again? 你良心过得过去吗?

"So what you want me to do? I want to bring it down and see, you don't allow me then now you say all these bo-liao things to scare me?"

"Call the authority to inform them of the suspicious paper-bag."

So me called 999 to make a report. (Actually don't know what numbers to call la, think 999 can handle everything one la.)

"Hello, Police Station, may I help you?"

"Eh, hello, I want to report something but don't know whether if this is the correct numbers to call. I saw a Paper-bag with wires inside which was left ......" So me told the police officer the location and description of the paper-bag.

The police officer told me that they will send someone down to check on it and took down Old Beng's particulars but me only told him my name without giving him my contact numbers.

We did not wait for the policeman to come and walked home.

There was no mentioned of anything in the Newspaper and me will never know whether what was in the paper-bag but like my cha-bo-lang said, "At least I can sleep at night liao."

lim peh kong wan liao

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Friday, December 23, 2005

分手后

(十五年前之旧著)

=====

知晓一网友的朋友最近失恋,献上此旧著。
很多人都会、都曾失恋,妳不是第一个,肯定也不会是最后一个。
收拾心情,重整心态,共勉之。

=====

分手后
给正在慢慢痊愈的失恋者

还记得吗?曾经在夕阳下、海边,两人一同开心的渡过,那一刻似乎就象发生在昨日。

每天的电话交谈已是生活的一部份,心里只想着见对方,巴不得能每分每秒和对方在一起。

突然间,一句 “分手”,一切就如此终止结束了。无论你怎样地试着挽回那段感情,却始终差那么一点点。

分手的理由与借口一箩箩,往昔的一切早被遗忘在路边了。就算一方怎样哀求也改变不了已定的意念,多费唇舌也无补于事。

不听你的电话,不见你的人,也不再回信,那一份刚开始的失落感正笼罩着你,生活仿佛已毫无意义、世上一切事物也已毫无生机。

有或没有、得与失都已不再重要。

发不理、须不修,唯一在脑海里就是一句为什么?

你开始消瘦、憔悴,却还是思念着对方,心底里总还有着那一点点希望,你不信你们之间的情感就这样的终止。

这时,你最盼的是对方会回心转意打个电话给你,或者重出现在你的面前;最怕的是身边传来怜悯的眼光与慰言。

日子一天一天的飞逝,当你开始接受分手这个事实时,你才惊讶原来已虚度了这么多个日子。

你开始学习再次回到一个人的世界,体会一个人的生活。世界并没因你们的分手而停顿下来,日子还是得照样的过,但心深处那一份眷恋,还是存在着的。

慢慢的、慢慢的,对方的影子逐渐谈了。一不小心,你又会再此想起他,却发现已不再是那么的疼痛了。

会怨他吗?会恨他吗?不论结局如何,都不该有怨恨与悔意,毕竟曾经有过这么一回。

错过了的爱永远无法回头,这种心情是旁人所无法了解的。

爱情本是一件很磨人的事,却还是有许多人情愿往里头挤。幸运的便白头偕老,不幸的就黯然分手。分手之后,才明白彼此只是对方的一个过客,如此而已。日子还是得过,嗯?!

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

受不了

(十五年前之旧著)

每一天,我们都会遇到许许多多的人,而这些人当中有些特别可爱,有些则令人不敢恭维。

受不了那些满手戴着戒指,讲话时动作又特别多,似乎怕人不知道他一双手十只手指全都戴了戒指。

受不了一些所谓的豪放女子在公共场所大声讲话,比手划脚,满口粗话。

受不了那些人在三更半夜骑着电单车怒吼而过,吵得在梦乡中的人惊醒而只能一面“XYZ”的诅咒他们,一面重数绵羊,强迫自己再入梦乡。

受不了一些堂堂七尺高,又壮又大只的大男人在巴士里,地铁里见到老人站在一旁也不让位给他们坐。

受不了在乘搭地铁时正想踏出来却被一班“怕输”的人横冲直撞地涌进来,使到你根本无法走出车厢。

受不了现在物价全部高涨,而稿费依旧不变。(注1)

受不了那些人看戏不排队买票而叫排在前头的人代买。更受不了的是那些排在前面的仁兄仁姐还答应那些人的要求。

受不了在看戏时背后被人把脚跷在椅后大摇特摇。更受不了坐在身旁的仁兄在重看戏的当儿一路对朋友讲故事的情节与结局。

受不了那些因为有老板撑腰而在办公室里张牙舞爪,见高拜见低踩的同事。

受不了那些打女人的大男人,特别是打自己老婆的男人。

受不了那些见到你在等德士,而他却走到你的前面抢搭德士的人。

受不了那些家里有卡拉OK伴唱机的邻居,在星期天早上大唱一些走调的歌曲,而声量又开得特别大声。

受不了那些 “咔” 的一声把那黄色的痰吐出来的人;更受不了那些当众挖鼻孔而把挖出的 “黄金” 乱弹的人。

最最最受不了的是,有着那么多受不了的事,却还是得忍受下来!

=====

2005 后语:(注1):当时投犒在一本娱乐周刊,稿费微薄,明示暗示都没用。

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

把情感收藏起来

(十五年前之旧著)

当有人正为着不知该从众多对象中选出哪位最佳人选做为另一半而伤透脑筋时,也有些人正在夜里暗地着急怎么连个对象也没有?

一男一女是最标准的佳偶配合,这是人人所赞同的,如果你不幸成为一男二女或者拥有更多女朋友时,那真是一件很悲惨的事。

也许有些人会羡慕一个男子能同时拥有无数个女伴,但可以肯定那个他绝不幸福。试想一男一女在一起时,已不是一件简单的事情;心灵的沟通、思想的交流、双方对事物的看法与见解已是相差何止十万八千里。更甭说一人要对着这么多不同的女子。

感情这回事是不可理喻的。奇怪的是一个女子多数会死心踏地只爱一个男子;而一个男子却常常会在同一时间里爱上两个或者两个以上的女子 (当然不是每个男子都是如此)。

有时侯两个女子同时爱上一个男子,并不是男子的错,为何很多人总喜欢把错往那男子的身上推?君不见卫小宝便有七个老婆之多。

有时一男一女很要好的在一起出外看戏,吃一顿饭并不代表什么,却往往被人称为花心,真是罪过。男女之间其实是真有友情这回事存在着的,怕的是有一方突然的、或者逐渐的误会了对方的意思,而把爱情也掺在友情里。

一个男子肯定会在一生中爱上无数个女子,而最不幸的是他在同一时间里爱上一个以上的女子。他肯定不是花心,而是多情而已,多情有罪吗?有错吗?

爱情这回事并不简单,千万别怀着多多益善的想法。就算美女亲自送上门来,最好是即刻阻止这段感情。毕竟一个已经够了,不给予机会让它发生是最好的防备,别等到有一方泥足深陷才想抽身而退,已经太迟了。

别再奢望能享有齐人之福了,感情并不是钱财,不必越多越好。

一个就好了。

真的,一个就够。把情感收藏起来吧。

=====

2005 后语:

现在的我,对感情的看法还是一样没变。有些事是可以避免的,我如此认为。

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Monday, December 19, 2005

Old Beng Went To Bukit Timah Hill

lim peh ka li kong

Me and my cha-bo-lang sometimes go for our Sunday morning stroll at the following few places : Botanical Garden, West Coast Park, Sunset way and Bukit Timah Hill provided we wake up early. Many times, Old Beng could not wake up early and will just hope that my cha-bo-lang will let me sleep longer. Sunday morning leh!

Yesterday, we went to Bukit Timah Hill although we woke up a little bit later than usual but the weather was fine without sun, very cooling.

When we reached the carpark, it was full as usual and many vehicles were parking along the road side illegally. I felt pity for the residents who stay there.

Luck was with us cos when we reached the carpark, we found an empty lot, heng ah, don't have to waste time waiting for lot.

When we got out of our car, me saw some monkeys sitting on top of the parked vehicles in the carpark and 1 monkey even shit on the top of a car. Ai-ya, forgot to take down the car plate numbers to buy 4D, who knows, shit is luck, according to the Chinese.

I heard of a sad incident which happened at the foot of Bukit Timah Hill not too long ago. The monkeys have been coming out from the forest and started to go around the carpark area to look for food. As monkeys move very fast and sometimes it is quite dangerous because drivers could not see them dashing across their moving vehicles.

Heard that 1 monkey was knocked down by a car and it died as it was a fatal knock. The passer-by who were there saw that a whole gang of monkeys all crowded round the dead monkey and 1 of them (probably the mother) was hugging and carrying the dead monkey, crying loudly and letting out loud shrieks mourning the lost of its child.

Anyway, back to our sunday stroll. Me and my cha-bo-lang climbed up the slope and boy the slope was quite steep man, probably at a 45 degrees inclination. Old Beng me managed to climb up with my cha-bo-lang but to be honest, quite siong though, think me getting old already.

We finally reached the top and on our way down, we saw a path at the side of the hill - Catchment Path and we decided to take the route and see where it would lead to. Anyway, how big can Bukit Timah Hill be?

The path wasn't too difficult to walk as the roots of the trees formed a natural fleets of steps and with the cool breeze and surrounded by so many trees and strolling with loved one was in fact a very great feeling. Halfway down, we saw a direction board showing the routes of the Catchment Path we were walking, hmmn looked alright to me.

After descending for about 20 minutes, we came to a big open space with just low-grass field. We saw many grasshoppers hopping and flying around us, guess I have not seen so many of them since my childhood time.

We continued to walk for another 30 minutes and saw a small road with a signboard indicating that it was a bicycle route and a warning sign to the people who would like to walk on the route as the cyclists sometimes do cycle in very fast speed and the route was indeed narrow.

My cha-bo-lang asked me whether we should take the bicycle route or walked back to where we started, the Catchment Path?

I was not sure why I was stubborn but told her that we would continue to head forward and I was sure that we would be able to get out of the "quiet" area but in my heart, I was actually just pushing my luck. And yes, after walking for another 15 minutes, we came across a road, no longer the field road but road for vehicles with road chevron and road-sigh and saw a police car sped past us.

While I was standing at the side trying to figure out which direction to walk, my cha-bo-lang told me that there was a monkey just above my head. When I turned around to the direction she was pointing, I saw 1 huge monkey staring hard at me less than one foot away from me. I slowly turned my face away and walked away calmly.

Actually my heart was racing like hell cos I was bitten by a monkey when I was a small boy and that attack landed me in hospital thus I have this phobia towards monkey.

We continued to walk along the road but it was so deserted that not even a car drove pass us and I started to have the thinking that we were lost! Of course, in front of my cha-bo-lang, I pretended to be calm and cool if not, sure lose face one.

Then, we heard the motor-sound of a car coming from the road behind us and it was a van. I quickly waved for the driver to halt and asked him where the road will lead us to and which direction we should head to get back to the entrance of Bukit Timah Hill.

We told him that we were walking in Bukit Timah Hill and the next minute, we landed there without the slightest idea of where we were. He told us that we were rather far away from Bukit Timah Hill and he offered to give us a lift. We told him that it would be fine for us to walk but the expression on his face told us that it was not a very good idea so both of us hopped into his van.

He drove for about 20 minutes before we reached Bukit Timah Hill and he dropped us at where we parked our car.

My cha-bo-lang teased me the whole day for been such a sotong and got lost in Bukit Timah Hill.

I really have to thank the driver, Mr Lim, who was so kind to give us a lift although he wasn't heading towards the direction of Bukit Timah Hill.

There are still kind people in Singapore after all.

lim peh kong wan liao

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Saturday, December 17, 2005

A Day To Remember

lim peh ka li kong

16 December is a memorable date for me and my cha-bo-lang. I can still remember it was this day many years ago that I made my marriage vow and was solemnised in front of our family members and relatives.

So what did we do this year on our anniversary?

As it was a Friday, both of us went to work as usual la, no work where got money? Anyway, after work 2 of us went to watch "King Kong" and comparing the one I saw in 1977, this one is better in terms of special effects and the show lasted 3 hrs and 5 minutes.

We didn't have time to eat our dinner as we reached the cinema at 7 pm sharp which was the starting time.

After the show, we headed for Lavender Food Square to meet up with some of the bloggers we know and had supper together.

Apart from the few we had met before - Qin Shi Huang, Xorpheus, Monkichi and Xishi, there was 1 new face whom we have not met in person : the four leaf lady - Elydia.

We had a wonderful night again and talked on different topics. Think we covered almost everything and anything under the sun. From fire-crackers to spiders; from clogs to blogs; from the good old days to our current life of techno-ways; from ghosts and black magic to bloggers we would like to meet; etc etc etc ...

Alas, good time flies faster than anything. Before we even knew it, it was already 1 am and Old Beng me and my cha-bo-lang had to bid farewell to the other bloggers as my cha-bo-lang had to work the next day.

Special thanks had to be credited to the following friends:-

Qin Shi Huang - His good choice of location.

Xorpheus - His jovial attitude and funny jokes.

Monkichi - Her kind sharing of good items with us.

Xishi - Her errie stories that sent the creeps down our spines.

Elydia - A sweet and pleasant young girl, her presence brought us joy.

lim peh kong wan liao

* Just a note:

1) Nobody took any photographs for this gathering at all, Huh why like that?

2) Me was expecting more new faces but ...

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Friday, December 16, 2005

爱人 。被爱。相爱

(十五年前的旧著)

爱情令人响往,未曾坠入情网的男女,都希望能发生一段惊天动地的爱情。爱情令人痴、令人狂、令人心醉,也同样令人心碎。

爱一个人是极为不简单的一件事。事事以他为中心。每做一件事都令你顾虑到他会怎么想。

爱上一个不爱你的人辛苦吗?

有人说爱人是痛苦的,被爱是幸福的。其实两样都痛苦。

爱人的那种滋味你试过吗?想的、念的,全是一个人。一想到心中的他,心底里总会浮出一丝丝的甜蜜。但是如果他心里根本没有你,你所做的一切他都不在乎,你心里好受吗?

不错,想他念他的那种感觉是很美很美的。但是他的拒绝与不在乎的态度,你又能忍受多久?

爱上一个不该爱的人是很悲的一件事。

被爱又如何?其实被爱也是很悲的,特别是被一个你不爱的人爱着。如果爱你的他是一位平静、不易激动的人,那还好。如果他是一个占用欲强的人,被爱简直是一种负荷。他想占有你、缠着你、烦着你,解释又不被接受,只想时时刻刻见你,完完全全拥有你,莫说不怕人。

感情这码事根本是勉强不来的,却还是有许多人不明白。以为时间久了,爱情就可以培养起来,其实能培养起来的只是感情罢了。

相爱才是真正幸福。两个人全心全意的投入,恨不得把自己的最好都掏出来与他分享。每做一件事都会想到他,每买一样东西都会买双份。

两人卿卿我我,活在彼此的世界里,恨不得能一天二十四小时在一起生活。

你试过吗?两个人在一起,毫无心机,只懂爱他爱他再爱他。真正的爱情是不会死的,两人在不知不觉中顾到对方,往往一有好东西便想着与他分享;遇到不如意的事情时,又有他在那儿等着你,给予你全部的关怀与爱。

能相爱真好。可是在这市侩的现实社会里还有多少人真正的相爱?还会有多少人真正付出全部的心去爱一个人,毫无保留?

能真正全心全意的相爱时,别犹豫,那怕只一刹那也是值得的。千万别为了世人那庸俗的眼光,而错失了那相爱的机会。

=====

2005 后语:

今天是我与太太的结婚登记(十多周年)纪念日。12月16日。

我以这篇旧著献给她,感谢她这些年来对我的照顾、容忍与关怀。

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Thursday, December 15, 2005

Abbreviation (Not Suitable For The Young)

Before lim peh start to kong about abbreviation, can the minors (those under 18) skip this post cos it is not suitable for the young, the pure and the innocent.

LPKLK (lim peh ka li kong)

People are very funny creature one, when they want to express themselves but too lazy to say the whole sentence, they will come out with abbreviation. Just to share a few with you:-

PKL : Pao Ka Liow (incharge of everything, usually referring to workload in a company)

TKL : Till Kao Lie (Fxxk You)

KLKK : Kia Lai Kia Kee (walking around doing nothing)

KKYLP : Kiow Kah Yoh Lan Pa (nothing to do and starts to shake leg)

LPPL : Lan Pa Pa Lan (indicating that it's the same meaning)

TTK : Tua Tee Ko (大猪哥 aka big colour wolf - 大色狼)

LTK : Lau Tee Ko (老猪哥 aka old colour wolf - 老色狼)

LCK : Lau Chee Ko (also old colour wolf - 老色狼)

NNTTL : Nee Nee Tua Tua Liap (big boobs)

CBL : Cho Bo Lan (doing nothing, just idle around)

KNN : Kan Ni Nah (F you)

KNS : Ka Na Sai (just like shit)

Of course there are many others insulting/scolding abbreviation which I just can't persuade myself to share with you here.

CCB, KNNBCCB (Rockson's favourite abbreviation), FO, etc etc.

I am sure there are many many more which I have left them out.

LPKWL (lim peh kong wan liao)

Just heard 3 lame jokes from my colleague:-

1) Where does Dolly Parton buy her Bra?
At Bras Basah Road

2) Where did Kenny Roger got his inspiration when he wrote the song "Island In The Stream"?
When he saw Dolly Parton swimming backstroke naked.

3) Long time ago, Singapore had a newpapers known as New Nation. The newspaper man when going around trying to sell New Nation will shout :"Till Na Seng, anybody want Till Na Seng?" cos Till Na Seng sounds like New Nation.

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

狮城怪谈 (五)

(1989年之旧著)

=====

当一个人感情受到创伤时,做什么事情都会提不起劲儿,情绪的低落是可想而知,因此,在这个时侯,运数也会比常人低,经常会碰到一些不尽如意和吉祥的事,就如汪俊杰,自从他失恋后,一连串不幸的事就发生在他身上。。。

=====

鬼脸

汪俊杰独自一人站在铁丝门处。

冷风凄凄,四周寂寂。

俊杰眺望着无边无际的星空,享受着他手上的那一根香烟。

望了望手上心爱的表,心里想到是女朋友在他十七岁生日送他时,不尽浮现出一丝温馨的笑容。

慢慢地,脸上的笑容僵在他那俊俏的脸上,不知不觉中,脸上剩下的只是苦笑。

想到女朋友在他服兵役的其间,舍他而投向他好朋友的怀抱,心里不禁感到一阵剧痛。

为什么会是他的好朋友?

难道年轻的心真是无法安定下来?

一阵被灼伤的痛从他的手指传到他心中,才猛然知晓香烟已燃到尽头,留在手中也已无用处,感情又何尝不是如此?

把手上遗留的香烟头弹开,俊杰长长的舒了一口气。

心中的累使他不禁闭上双眼,倚靠在铁门旁。

渐渐地,呼吸变得沉重,人也渐渐步入梦乡。。。。。

“喂!Officer 来巡视了,还不起来!”

俊杰耳边传来警告声,连忙醒了过来,把制服拉整齐,站得笔直。

几秒钟后,一名Officer 从角落处走了过来。俊杰对Officer 敬了一个礼,只见Officer 脸上露了一个很满意的笑容,擦身而过,消失在另一个角落处。

当Officer 离去后,俊杰不松了一口气。

“呼,好险。”

俊杰掏出一根烟,正准备点火之际,心里忽然浮现出一股诡异的感觉。

“刚才是谁叫醒我?”俊杰四处张望,四处竟是一片冷清的漆黑空间。。。。。

x x x x x

几天后的一个深夜。

俊杰独自一人坐在床上抽着烟,虽然已是一点半了,他却还在那儿抽烟。

放眼四处一看,同房的军友们都已进入梦乡,只有他一人还坐在床上傻呼呼的想着往事。

忽然,不知从何处吹来一阵阴风直令到俊杰打了一个冷颤。

俊杰在漆黑中掏出香烟,似乎想借着那一小撮的烟火取暖。

“呼。。。呼。。。”窗外的冷风一阵阵的涌进来。

只见身旁的队友们都纷纷拉上棉被盖住他们一个个赤裸的身上。

突然窗外闪出一道极亮的闪电;几乎是紧接着便传来一声巨响的旱雷声直把俊杰吓了一跳。

然后,雨也跟着来了。

雨一直下着,俊杰也一直抽着香烟。

这场骤雨来得突然,去得也快;只下着毛毛雨,看了看表,已是凌晨两点半了。

俊杰把手上的烟弄熄,双手托着自己的后脑,躺在那微冷的床上。

慢慢的,眼皮越来越重,睡意也越来越浓。

朦胧中,在半睡半醒之间,俊杰见到窗外有东西飘过。

从朦胧中惊醒,他见到一名军人正慢慢地在窗外走过。

“呼!自己吓自己,真是的。”俊杰暗骂了自己一句,便又继续闭上双眼。

只一会儿,俊杰便惊慌的从床上坐直身体,直瞪着窗外,因为他想到了一件令他震惊的事实。

他们的房间在三楼,怎么会有人在窗外徘徊?

俊杰呆坐在床上,心跳加速,手脚变得冰冷。

就在俊杰头额上的冷汗滑下来时,他又见到那名“军人”在窗外徘徊。

那“军人”走到一半便停止不动了。

俊杰吓得张着嘴巴,想叫却叫不出,只能发出一阵沙哑的声音。

更令俊杰害怕的是那“军人”正慢慢的转过头来看着他。

只见那“军人”的脸上腐烂处处,更从烂口处流出浓浓的浊液。

当那张极度怕人的脸孔对着俊杰露出世上最恐怖的笑容时,俊杰再也无法继续与他对望下去。

把被子从头到脚盖住自己,俊杰在被里淌着冷汗,全身怕得颤栗不止,一颗心跳得仿佛会从他口腔中跳出来。

时间一分一秒地过,俊杰在被窝里也逐渐觉得越来越闷热。

在那么小的空间里呼吸着自己吐出来的热气,俊杰觉得烦闷异常。

战战兢兢的,他慢慢地把被子拉下。心里七上八下的望着窗外,祈求着别再让他见到那“恐怖的笑容”。

四周围静悄悄的,一点动静也没有。

往窗外望出去,鬼影也没有,俊杰这时才发觉到雨早已停了。

这一晚,俊杰根本无法安眠。

他总是在即将入睡的前一刹那惊醒;总觉得那“军人”正在窗外瞪着他。

如此这般忽睡忽醒折腾了一个晚上,俊杰在隔天毫无精神的与队友们同做训练。

俊杰在当天的表现奇差无比,队友们都觉得很奇怪。

在午餐时间都纷纷围着俊杰问长问短。

当俊杰说出他昨夜所见的“鬼脸”时,队友们个个都怕得脸青唇白,气氛刹那间变得很诡异。

身旁的阿勇忽然说道:“其实我也曾见过类似的事情,只不过我没见到那“鬼脸”;我曾在深夜起身去解手时见到窗外有军帽与军靴在半空中慢慢地飘过。”

每个人都吓得出不了声,个个你望着我,我望着你。

午餐后的军事练习不止俊杰打不起精神,几乎整体军队都表现得差强人意。

在傍晚时分,一个个才拖着疲惫的身躯回自己的房间去。。。。。

x x x x x

在一个周末,队友阿成在军营的餐室外面不小心的踢到了餐室老板摆在外面的一些祭品。

“SHIT!”阿成暗暗骂了一声便又走回房里。

当阿成走进来时,俊杰与几位军友们正围坐在一块儿下棋、抽烟、玩吉他以及谈天。

阿成和各人打了一个招呼便走向自己的床位休息。

阿成的床位与另外七个队友在别一个房里,而他们的房间与俊杰的房间是连系着的,只是隔着一道门而已。

阿成在下午不小心在餐室外踢到了那些祭品,到了傍晚早已忘得一干二净。

当阿成在床上小憩之际,发生了一件令他永世难忘的恐怖事件。。。。。

阿成无聊的躺在床上,闭上双眼,渐渐步入梦乡。。。。。

在另一间房中,俊杰与其他队友正在下棋、谈天。

“喂,你们有发现到阿成的脸色很差吗?”队友阿达问众人。

“有吗?我没什么注意。”俊杰说道。

“也许他失恋吧。”啊达又说道。

“失恋?哈!失恋又怎样,日子还是照样的过。”俊杰说道。

众人听到俊杰的口气有些许不一样,都向他投以诡异的眼光。

时间一分一秒的溜走,天色也越来越昏暗。

俊杰与其他队友都停止了吉他和下棋,各人你看着我,我看着你,谁也不想出声。

“哇。。。!!!”

忽然一阵刺耳的喊叫声划破了宁静的空间。

那一声极响的惊叫声使得俊杰他们吓了一大跳,阿达甚至于连手上的香烟都拿不稳,掉在地上。

那一阵骇人的惊叫声并没就此停止,还是不断地传入每个人的耳中,使他们听了不禁毛骨悚然。

然后,从阿成房中传来一阵象是撞倒桌椅碰地的声音,以及见到阿成跌跌撞撞地惊慌的冲出房间。

只见他跑了没几步便整个人软跌坐在地上,全身颤栗发抖。

阿成趴在地上,一手按着地上支撑着身体,一手伸直向前,双眼睁着极大看着他们。

只见他张着大口想叫却叫不出来,只能发出一阵微弱的沙哑声。

冷汗从他头额涌出冒出,淌下他惊慌的脸孔,直落在地上。

阿成眼角边的肌肉正在不停地跳动着,两排牙齿不停地相撞着,直发出“咯。。。咯。。。”的撞击声。

由于他害怕到双脚发软,无法再站起来,而他又极力想向前移动,便很辛苦地向前,托着自己的身躯一寸一寸向前移动。

众人见到阿成害怕到整张脸发青,都一时之间不知所措,呆立在原地。
俊杰首先迎向阿成。

当俊杰扶着阿成的手时,阿成把俊杰捉得紧紧的,十指深陷入俊杰的手臂中;自他的嘴中发出微细的叫声:“啊。。。”

“阿成!发生了什么事?”俊杰一边扶着阿成一边问道。

阿成青着脸,一句话也说不出来。

“来,我们先扶他到椅子上休息一下再说吧!”俊杰对着他的队友们说。

阿成被众人七手八脚抬向椅子上,只见他急速的呼吸声越来越大声,仿佛象鱼儿脱离了水,嘴巴迅速地一张一合。

阿达见到阿成全身发抖便说:“我去房间帮你拿你的棉被。”说完便转身走向阿成的房间。

“别进去!”阿成忽然嚷叫起来。

阿达被阿成突如其来的嚷叫吓了一跳,站在原地看着他。

“别进去,别进去,千万别进去。”阿成以将近呻吟的声音说道。

“阿成,到底发生了什么事?”俊杰问道。

阿成深呼吸了几下,然后说:“刚才你们在这儿谈天,我独自一人在里头小憩,睡着睡着,忽然我有一种很奇怪的感觉。”

“什么感觉?”俊杰问道。

“不知道,我在朦胧中有一种奇异的感觉,好象觉得有人正在注视着我,而当时的我又在睡梦中,只觉得很奇怪。然后,我慢慢从睡梦中苏醒过来。”

阿成说到这儿呼吸又逐渐重了起来,脸色也开始变得苍白,眼角的肌肉又开始不受控制地跳动不已,可见当时的情形给他的惊吓的确不小。

隔了一会儿,阿成才继续说:“我在朦胧中隐隐见到有一个人影在我面前,当我微微睁开惺松的睡眼看到眼前的影象,吓得我把双眼即刻张至最大,心跳几乎停止跳动!”

阿成吞了一口口水,才抖着声音说:“只见一名头发很长很长的女郎,身上穿着一件黑色衣服,坐在我的床脚上,只见她双眼透现出很怨恨的眼神,怒瞪着我,仿佛我做了什么对不起她的事,使她这么恨我,我被她瞪得汗毛都竖站了起来,当时的我吓得纵声大叫起来。。。”

俊杰每个人听了都吓得出不了声,个个你看着我,我看着你。

试想想,当你在朦胧中从睡眠至苏醒过来,迷迷糊糊里见到一名黑衣长发的苍白女郎坐在床脚直
瞪着你,你会有什么感想?怕是和阿成一样发出凄历的喊叫声后,便跌跌撞撞的冲出房间。

“为什么?我又没做什么对不起她的事?”阿成喃喃说道。

“会不会你在无意中触犯了她?你好好想一想。”阿达说道。

“无意中触犯她?”阿成锁着眉头思索着。“吓!我想起来了。”

阿成把下午他无意中踢到摆在餐室外的祭品的事告诉大家。

众人听后都一致认为一定是这件事,所以那个“黑衣女郎”才找上门来。

“那。。。那该怎么办?”阿成吓得直发抖。

“我看我们明天去问餐室的老板该怎么做吧。”俊杰安慰着阿成。“别想这么多了,睡吧。”

“不!我不去睡,我要在这儿。”阿成连连摇手拒绝再踏入他的房间。

“好吧,那你就在这儿睡吧,反正明天星期日也没什么人会这么早回来。”

阿成一夜睁着双眼直至天亮,根本无法安然入睡。

次日,阿成一行人到餐室处找老板求教。

“原来踢到祭品的人就是你,我昨天见到祭品被踢到一旁去就知道会有事情发生。”老板望着阿成说道。

“那。。。”阿成连忙说道。

“你马上去买一些香和纸钱来烧,向“她”道歉。”

阿成听后马上去买所需品。

x x x x x

清晨。

阿达首先醒了过来,当他拿着牙刷与面巾要去洗脸时,见到队友志宏正睡在门口处,不禁感到奇怪。

“为,志宏,你怎么睡在这儿?”阿达走过去推了他一下。

“嗯,什么事?”志宏半蒙着眼问道。

“你看你自己,怎么睡在这儿?”

志宏四处看了一下,然后很吃惊地坐了起来。“吓!我怎么会睡在这儿?”

“唓!我怎么会知道,你问你自己吧。”

“一定是有人作弄我,趁我熟睡时把我搬来这边。”

“起来吧,说多也无谓。”

这时,队友们也逐渐起身了。

x x x x x

隔天早上,当众人睡醒后发觉到阿达正睡在地上,而另一名队友阿伟则睡在墙的角落头。

这件事之后,众人都开始怕了,却没有人做出什么行动,每个人似乎都不想提起,尽量避开这个话题,直至。。。。。

有一天清晨,那天正是农历七月十四。

俊杰他们睡醒时,却发现他们全都不是睡在他们自个儿的床上。

阿成睡在门口外面;阿达睡在床底下;志宏睡在角落处;俊杰与另外三名队友则睡在厕所里;其他队友们也各自睡在各处,却无一人睡在床上。

这下,众人再也按捺不住,个个吓得脸青唇白。

经过一轮商量之后,众人决定每人出点钱买一些纸钱来烧。

几天后都不再发生他们被搬迁的事情,大伙儿也比较安心。

过了几天,又再发生他们在睡梦中被搬迁的事情,队友们在隔天又凑钱买纸钱来烧,事情就这样断断续续的延展下去。

因此,每隔几天,俊杰他们总会自动的烧一些纸钱与香,以求睡得安宁些。

说也奇怪,如果他们隔太久没烧纸钱,隔天醒来肯定会无所不在,无处不睡。

这件事直到俊杰他们服完兵役后才告一个段落。

(故事五完)

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Monday, December 12, 2005

借书

(十五年前之旧著)

自认是爱书之人,虽拥有不少小说,却没有一个书架。常把心爱的小说这边放一套,那儿搁一些,要看的时候才拿出来重阅。

金庸、倪匡、亦舒等是我的三大选择。

还记得自个儿掏腰包买的第一套小说是《笑傲江湖》,心里的那一份喜悦至今还记得。

每当朋友来到我家,总会说我家有二多:小说多和录音带多。

记得十年前,一个朋友向我借了一套《射雕英雄传》去,一借就是数个月,拿回来后才发觉书本破旧不堪,更有十多页不见了。

目睹心爱的小说页页破落,心里痛得不得了,差点没找上门痛骂他一顿,事后才发觉原来是他把我的小说拿去借给别人,而我朋友的朋友根本不懂得怎样爱惜书本。

自己心爱的小说落到这个地步,只能怨自己借错人。

更有另一深交知己去了外国做工,从我这儿借了数本倪匡小说去那儿打发时间。


去了五、六个月后归返新加坡,却把我借他的小说遗留在那儿。

那熟悉的心痛感觉再次涌上心头,久久不散。

自此之后,发誓不再借书给任何人,借了出去就象泼出去的水,必难收回来。

什么都可以借,只有书借不得。

如果不想你心爱的书落得如我一般下场,千万别把它们借给他人。切记,切记。

=====
2005 后语:

十五年后的今天,深交知己如果读到这一篇,不知会否象当年一样内疚,一样的 “酸” 我为几本书而抱怨连天?

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Friday, December 09, 2005

Women's 32 Secrets

lim peh ka li kong

Saw this interesting post in JiJi's blog on women's 32 secrets
* Source from JiJi chorlor blog *

Apparantly, JiJi´s blog is no longer reachable, you can also read the secrets here

Ha ha buay tahan, very the detailed.

A master piece too good to be missed.

lim peh kong wan liao

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Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Old Beng doing Surveys

lim peh ka li kong

Old Beng me lately money no enough so went to do some part-time job. One of the more simpler part-time job is to help to conduct surveys because you no need to have very high education to conduct survey, just need to stand in the middle of the road and ask for survey from passer-by.

If me can choose, me will want to interview only all the swee cha-bo, the chio chio one better la, hopefully can get their email addresses or better still telephone numbers BUT cannot leh, my survey must make sure all walks of people involved.

Actually ah, interviewing different types of people very funny one, all kinds of answers also have. Many people at first don't want to be surveyed but later when Old Beng me told them there will be a small token of appreciation free gift, most of them obliged. Some of the people been interviewed by me were quite interesting, followings are the 20 interesting ones which I have chosen to share with you:

xxxxx

An uncle with lots of gold around his neck and wrists and also wear a Rolex watch.

Name, age, marital status and occupation.
Lau Yan kee; 57; Single; Retiree;

Do you like your job?
Skip cos uncle no work now.

Why?
Skip again.

Are you happy with your life now? Why?
Yes, very happy because I just got my CPF money and suddenly I got many friends and relatives whom I have lost contacts for quite some years.

What do you plan to do in the next 5 years?
Eat, drink, enjoy life and find myself a few girlfriends within the next 5 years because I have been working very hard and never got time to enjoy having a girlfriend.

What is it that you will definitely do everyday without fail?
(Softly) Count my money.

Why do you do it everyday?
Friend, if you have the same sum of money like I do, just by counting and re-counting it will make you happy.

What kind of house do you stay in?
Condominium.

How much would you spend on a meal?
Never bother about the price one la as long as I enjoy the food and my girlfriends also enjoy, can already.

Would you want to join a member to a club whereby you can enjoy huge discounts over a wide range of restaurants in Singapore?
I will consider if the restaurants are good ones.

How much will you consider to come out with to join such member?
Money not an issue.

Do you like to go holiday?
Yes.

How often do you go for holiday?
Last time no time and money, now got money and time but no partners to go with.

Where do you normally go?
Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia.

Why do you choose to go there?
Many different types of girls.

Can you leave your contact numbers or email address?
Sure, telephone 8xxxxxxx.

xxxxx

A young boy in school uniform carrying a big bag and holding at least 3 folder-files

Name, age, marital status and occupation.
Nicholas; 15; Single; Student;

Do you like your job?
No, but no choice.

Why?
Must get a good certificate for future high pay job opportunity.

Are you happy with your life now? Why?
No, pocket money not enough; No freedom; Too much school work; No girlfriend.

What do you plan to do in the next 5 years?
Study hard get good results; Get a pretty chio girlfriend;

What is it that you will definitely do everyday without fail?
Surf the net.

Why do you do it everyday?
Most entertaining at the lowest cost.

What kind of house do you stay in?
Landed.

How much would you spend on a meal?
Not more than $3.

Would you want to join a member to a club whereby you can enjoy huge discounts over a wide range of restaurants in Singapore?
Depends.

How much will you consider to come out with to join such member?
Only when it is free.

Do you like to go holiday?
Yes.

How often do you go for holiday?
The last time was when I was in primary 5 family trip to Hong Kong.

Where do you normally go?
Dont know how to answer cos only went to HK once.

Why do you choose to go there?
N.A.

Can you leave your contact numbers or email address?
No need la.

xxxxx

One Ah Lian. The hair got at least 3 colours and the make-up was like the Japanese singer and was chewing gum all the way.

Name, age, marital status and occupation.
Lucy; 19; Single; Sales assistant;

Do you like your job?
Ka-na-sai.

Why?
Too long hours; Too little pay; Somemore every weekend must work. 歹命.

Are you happy with your life now? Why?
Ka-na-sai, how to be happy when everything also so Ex.

What do you plan to do in the next 5 years?
Hopefully l find a rich man and get married and then I can no need to work anymore and enjoy life as a 少奶奶.

What is it that you will definitely do everyday without fail?
Colour my beautiful nails.

Why do you do it everyday?
I like new colour on my finger nails everyday.

What kind of house do you stay in?
HDB 3-room flats

How much would you spend on a meal?
Depends la, sometime also no eat because too busy during lunch time and then after that dont feel like eating again. Can 省钱 and 保持身材苗条.

Would you want to join a member to a club whereby you can enjoy huge discounts over a wide range of restaurants in Singapore?
No la, where got time?

How much will you consider to come out with to join such member?
Not interested, where got money?

Do you like to go holiday?
Yes.

How often do you go for holiday?
Go JB counted or not?

Where do you normally go?
Always go to JB to eat seafood with my brothers and sisters.

Can you leave your contact numbers or email address?
Don't want la, sekali later many many 无聊 people call me how?

xxxxx

An office executive with tie and a branded sun-glass.

Name, age, marital status and occupation.
Branden; 28; Single; Bank Executive;

Do you like your job?
No comment. (Softly : later my boss knows I complain then kena sacked how?)

Why?
Too much works, too little time, think I deserve better elsewhere.

Are you happy with your life now? Why?
No, cost of living too high, girlfriend's demands too high, still cannot afford to buy even a EC.

What do you plan to do in the next 5 years?
Hope to be promoted to Vice President of my company; Change my car to a BMW; Buy a Condo;

What is it that you will definitely do everyday without fail?
Have dinner with girlfriend at her house.

Why do you do it everyday?
She demanded to see me everyday and I can save money on dinner and later in the night can ...... he he you know la.

What kind of house do you stay in?
HDB executive flat.

How much would you spend on a meal?
Most of time try to arrange lunches with clients and thus can safe money.

Would you want to join a member to a club whereby you can enjoy huge discounts over a wide range of restaurants in Singapore?
Maybe although not really interested.

How much will you consider to come out with to join such member?
Huh? Must pay for membership? Don't want la.

Do you like to go holiday?
Yes.

How often do you go for holiday?
At least 2 to 3 times a year.

Where do you normally go?
If have extra cash, will go further if not just within S.E. Asia.

Why do you choose to go there? Get away from work and relax with girlfriend, it's just like advancing honeymoon.

Can you leave your contact numbers or email address?
Sure, brandenboy@xxxxxx.com.

xxxxx

A middle-age aunty with 3 young energetic children running and shouting no-stop.

Name, age, marital status and occupation.
Mdm Lee; 37; Married; Housewife;

Do you like your job?
No like also bo-bian la. Daytime must entertain these 3 naughty children and night-time must entertain my husband.

Why?
What to do, last time never study now cannot work, some more how to leave the 3 children alone?

Are you happy with your life now? Why?
So so la, so long as these 3 monkeys 乖乖, husband no 走私, eat enough dress enough live enough can already la.

What do you plan to do in the next 5 years?
My children can grow up healthy and my husband can get promoted and move house la.

What is it that you will definitely do everyday without fail?
Wash clothes and iron clothes.

Why do you do it everyday?
Siao ah, if one day dont wash, the next sure pen-sang one.

What kind of house do you stay in?
HDB.

How much would you spend on a meal?
Most of time own self cook at home, only when special day then maybe go out to eat.

Would you want to join a member to a club whereby you can enjoy huge discounts over a wide range of restaurants in Singapore?
No want la, seldom go restaurant to eat.

How much will you consider to come out with to join such member?
Not interested.

Do you like to go holiday?
Yes la, who don't like?

How often do you go for holiday?
The last time was during my honeymoon with my husband to Bangkok.

Where do you normally go?
Never go for so long liao.

Why do you choose to go there?
No answer.

Can you leave your contact numbers or email address?
Got lucky draw or not? If no got, no need la.

xxxxx

Me thought just by standing and do surveys, can earn money easily but not right leh, very siong and me shall stop here.

If you people think I am really going to post all the 20 interesting surveys, you must be crazy. Where got time?

lim peh kong wan liao

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Monday, December 05, 2005

Old Beng at the Seminar

lim peh ka li kong

Last weekend me and my cha-bo-lang went to The Singapore Expo to attend to a seminar talk by a Venerable Monk - 慧律大师父.

It was a 3-night seminar talk which hosted about 15,000 people and the admission was free.

I tell you ah, everytime Old Beng me go for seminar talk or concert, sure buay tahan one. The people who attended sure very inconsiderate and when Old Beng me see their actions, my whole body blood also boil.

The seminar we attended was one related to Buddism thus we could see many monks and nuns attended it. On the free tickets, it has shown clearly that the time will start from 6.30 pm and anybody who came after 7.15 pm will not be allowed to enter the hall. Me told my wife, 6.30 pm start ah, think by 7.00 pm sure enough time for all late comers to come la. But I was wrong, the crowd of late-comers never stoped even until 8 pm (1 and a half hours later from 6.30 pm). Piang, Dinner late, Concerts late and Religious seminar also late????

At all entrances to the hall, there were signs showing us not to bring in food to eat in the seminar and guessed what? A couple came and marched right into the hall at around 8.20 pm (almost 2 hours late) and after they set down, they started to bring our their food - burgers, fries and drinks.

Wa-piang!!! We were attending a religious seminar with many monks and nuns and eating in the seminar hall was already prohibited and wrong, yet the couple still could eat burger somemore.

Didn't they know that monks and nuns are vegetarians? Hello, I knew you missed your dinner but then hor, can you please respect the nature of the seminar and had your food eaten outside before coming into the hall, that's the least respect you could show la.

Apart from the munching couple sitting beside me, there were 2 old men sitting near me who kept talking and talking throughout the seminar. We were trying to listen to the venerable monk's speech yet they ranted all the way loudly as if to compete with 慧律大师父.

If me didn't see that both of them were indeed old (around 70 years old) me would have asked them to keep quiet but me could never be rude to old people thus just shook my head and looked at both of them whenever they talked hoping that they got my hint and would keep quiet but no leh, they continued to talk and talk and talk.

There were also young children attending the seminar and few of them were running and laughing around during the seminar. What were the parents of the children doing? How can they allow their children to run around, at the least not to run during a seminar la.Me know children sometimes are too young to understand but the parents should at least understand and control their children better.

Towards the end of the seminar, as usual, our beloved kaisu Singaporeans started to stream out of the hall while the venerable 慧律大师父 was still sitting on stage.

What's the hurry to rush home man, it was still not very late cos the seminar ended around 10 pm. Guess that was another typical Kaisu Singaporean's mannerism.

lim peh kong wan liao

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Friday, December 02, 2005

爱情有什么道理

(十五年前之旧著)

我想在这世上,最最最难懂的事莫过于爱情这东西吧。它的起因与结束都无法找出一个理由来。

有时看一对恋人,有一方根本是一个无恶不作的坏蛋,但另一方却还是死心塌地的爱他,任谁也劝不了。

有时明明一女子有两男一起追求她:一个英伟,事业有成;另一个却一无所有,地位有着很大的距离,身份与条件也有很大的差别,悬殊之间一目了然;偏偏那女子喜爱的是那一无所有的男子,奈何!

我有一位英俊潇洒,性格条件样样齐全,可说得上几乎十全十美的朋友。贤淑温和的美女一箩箩地排队等他挑选,他却只喜欢一位很丑的女子,更糟的是那丑女的性格与脾气更是令人不敢恭维,但我的朋友却宠她、疼她如女神。

其实爱情根本没有道理,就算是极凶极坏的人也会有人喜爱。

有些女子明知男方有妻有儿,却还愿意一头栽进去当人家的小妾。

也许有人会说爱情是伟大的,所以才会有人心甘情愿爱上不该爱的人。其实不然,爱情只是没有道理罢了,如有道理就不会是爱情了。

就算一对男女如何的不衬,也会有人接受的。所谓情人眼里出西施,那朵鲜花喜欢牛粪,俊男喜欢母夜叉,你又能怎样?当局者都愿意,旁观者又那有发言的余地?

最可怕的,同样也是最可悲的同性恋,也慢慢普遍起来,你说,爱情有什么道理可言?!

x x x x x

2005 后语:

十五年后的今天重读,还是觉得爱情没有道理。同性恋其实并不可怕,当然也不可悲,只是当时年少不懂事,思想与对事情的看法不够成熟,才会对同性恋作出不当的看法。

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