lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

More Lau Hero´s Jokes

lim peh ka li kong

Me shall post a few more Lau Hero´s jokes with a little bit of spice as requested, enjoy:


A girl took Lau Hero back home after the school dance.

She tells him to be very, very quiet as her parents are asleep upstairs and if they wake up, she´ll be in big trouble as she´s not allowed to bring boys home.

They settle down to business on the sofa, but after a while, Lau Hero stops and asks, "Where´s the toilet? I need to go."

She says,"It´s upstairs, next to my parents´bedroom. But you can´t go there, as you´ll probably wake them up. Use the sink in the kitchen instead."

Lau Hero goes into the kitchen and, after a short while, he pops his head around the living-room door and says to his girlfriend, "Have you got any toilet paper?"


Concerned about his recent sexual performances, Lau Hero goes to see a doctor.

After a couple of tests, the specialist sits him down for a quiet talk.

"I´m sorry," the quack says, "but it would appear that you have simply worn out your male jewel. By my reckoning, you have 30 shags left, then that´s it. Your sex life is over."

Lau Hero walks home in a dark depression.

His wife is waiting for him in their front room.

"Oh my god!" She cries when Lau Hero tells her of his misfortune."30 shags! We can´t waste a single one of them. Every one must be special. Let´s draw up a schedule right now."

"I made a schedule on the way home," Lau Hero says, "And your name isn´t on it."


Walking past an alleyway late one night, Old beng sees No-Eye-See-See with 2 fingers shoved firmly up the anal of Lau Hero, who is kneeling on the floor.

"What the hell do you 2 think you are doing?" Old Beng asks the 2 men.

No-Eye-See-See doing the fingering stops, then looks up at Old Beng to offer his explanation. "It´s quite simple really, Old Beng. Our good friend Lau Hero here has drunk far too much today and I am simply trying to make him sick it all up."

"Well," Old Beng says, "sticking your fingers up his bumhole won´t make him sick."

"No, I know that," says No-Eye-See-See. "But sticking them in his mouth afterwards should do the trick."


Lau Hero was sitting on a bench at the mall.

No-Eye-See-See walked up to the bench and sat down. He has spiked hair in all different colour: green, red, pink, blue, yellow, purple.

Lau Hero just stared.

No-Eye-See-See said, "What´s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

Lau Hero replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."


Lau Hero ordered a Milking Machine. Tried on it on his penis & had a wonderful orgasm but could not remove it. So he read the manuel & fainted.



Special appearances : Lau Hero; No Eye See See;

lim peh kong wan liao

All jokes are not the creation of Old Beng, sources from emails, hear-say and magazines.


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Saturday, May 27, 2006

An Incident

lim peh ka li kong

Heard an incident from my friend, Ah Lee and this is what he told me...


Friends who know me will know that I usually go home for dinner every night after work since I got married.

There was this one night when I headed home after work for dinner and along the corridor, I saw Pei Qi standing outside her house, looking very sad.

I had to walk past her house before reaching my own unit.

Pei Qi is a young 18-year-old girl who had just completed her "A" levels and she is staying with her grandmother beside our house.

Pei Qi is a very polite, caring, and pleasant girl who has been staying with her old grandmother since she was 3 years old after both her parents died in a car accident.

As we are neighbours who stay just next to each other, my wife and I treat her like our own daughter.

Lately, Pei Qi has been telling us that she would be applying for Scholarship to do her degree in the States but she is worried to leave her grandmother behind alone should her application be granted.

We have known Pei Qi´s grandmother for the past 20 over years and she is, in fact, like a mother to us.

Actually we are like 三代同堂 (3 generation family) living in 2 units side by side.

Both my wife and I have spoken to Pei Qi and told her should she have the chance to go abroad for further studies, she should go and we will definitely keep an eye on her grandmother and take care of her grandmother during her 3 years absence.

So when I saw Pei Qi standing outside her unit sadly, I asked her: "Hi, Pei Qi, why are you standing outside your house? Have you had your dinner?"

"Hello Uncle Lee. No, I haven´t eaten my dinner yet..." Pei Qi looked very sad while talking to me.

"Pei Qi, is there a problem? Come tell Uncle Lee what is it. Don´t worry, my wife and I will help you with anything you need."

"Uncle Lee...sobs...sobs..." Tear drops started to roll down her cheeks.

"Ai-yo, Pei Qi, big girl already, 乖 don´t cry. Tell Uncle Lee what´s wrong and don´t you worry about anything."

I am very scared to see lady cries, once they cry, my heart pains.

"Sob...sob.... Uncle Lee... I have to trouble you and Aunty Lee to help me take care of my grandmother..."

"So your application for Scholarship is granted already, is it? It´s a good thing, no need to cry one la." Young people are like that, can´t bear to leave their family behind.

"Uncle Lee... sob... sob... please take good care of my grandma, ok?" Pei Qi´s tears are like coming out from tap, cannot stop.

"Pei Qi, don´t cry. We will definitely look after your grandmother, that goes without saying. You just have a peaceful mind and concentrate on your studies when you are there in the States, ok?"

"Thank you very much, Uncle Lee..."

"Don´t worry Pei Qi, now wipe away your tears and don´t let your grandma see you crying in case she thought Uncle Lee bully you. Go in and have your dinner and don´t think too much."

After seeing Pei Qi went into her unit, I walked back to my unit and expecting dinner to be ready for the "大嘴蚶" cos I was very hungry.

But no leh, dinner was not ready and in fact my wife wasn´t even at home. Hmmm... just as I was scratching my head, my wife opened our door with her key and walked in slowly with Pei Qi´s grandmother.

Pei Qi´s grandmother was crying and so was my wife.

"What happen? Is it because Pei Qi going to the Sta..." I talked half way and was interrupted by my wife.

"Pei Qi is dead. She met with a fatal accident this morning and we have just collected her body from the Mortuary..."

My mind just went blank............


After hearing what Ah Lee said, my mind also blank.

lim peh kong wan liao


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Friday, May 26, 2006


















2006 后语:



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Thursday, May 25, 2006

Jokes Jokes

lim peh ka li kong

Know a few jokes, share with you:


Old Beng was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbour, Lau Hero, came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

He opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.

A little later he came out of his house again, looking nervous, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again.

Angrily, back into the house he went. As Old Beng was getting ready to edge the lawn, here our Lau Hero came again, looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it shut harder than ever.

Puzzled by his actions, Old Beng asked Lau Hero, "Is something wrong?"

To which the ferocious Lau Hero replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"


Old Beng caught his friend Lau Hero searching high and low all around his living room.

Old Beng: "What are you searching for?"

Lau Hero: "Hidden cameras!"

Old Beng: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"

Lau Hero: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel'. How does he know that?"


Having lost his donkey, Lau Hero, got down to his knees and started thanking God.

Old Beng saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?"

Lau Hero replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."


Lau Hero is appearing for his University final examination.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window.

He then removes his tie and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

"Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," Lau Hero says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'."


Old Beng and Lau Hero were sitting outside a clinic.

Old Beng was crying like hell.

So Lau Hero asked, "Why are you crying?"

Old Beng replied, "I came here for blood test"

Lau Hero, "So? Are you afraid?"

Old Beng replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"

Hearing this Lau Hero started crying.

Old Beng was astonished and asked Lau Hero, "Why are you crying?"

Lau Hero replied, "I have come for my urine test."


Lau Hero goes to a hotel and eats heartily.

After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.

The manager comes running and asks him, "Mister, what are you doing?"

To this Lau Hero replies,"Oye, see the board here, " Wash Basin ".


Me really have to kam siah Lau Hero for his special appearance in my jokes :p

lim peh kong wan liao

All jokes are not the creation of Old Beng, sources from emails, hear-say and magazines.


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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

狮城怪谈 (八)

































x x x x x













x x x x x




“妳那晚触怒了那恶鬼。” 乩童对着王婆说道。

“我根本没得罪他,也没触怒他,我甚至于避开他。” 王婆说道。

“在他看来,他认为妳不应该回避他,妳既然没得罪他又何必绕道而行?妳避开他就是对他的不敬。” 乩童继续说道。


“我明白妳的意思,但是又能怎样?” 乩童说道。“现在妳唯一能做的是去木桥烧一些香与纸钱给他,求他宽恕。”






2006 后记:



总会在过木桥之前,希望运气会好,有着他人也正要过木桥,我那害怕的心就比较安定。不过很多时候,总是见到一个小男孩 “一支油” 的奔跑过那夜深无人、阴森无比的木桥。。。

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Monday, May 22, 2006


lim peh ka li kong

Since the day me created my blog, me had created the stat-counter and in the beginning, me was very excited to see that the hit counters kept going up daily. (Now that me think back, excited for what F? Even if there were no reader, me will still continue to write.)

From the beginning first 100th to the first 1000th visits and to current 40,000+ hit counters, then the counter function screwed-up. It is stucked at 42,431. (Hmmm, must try my luck on this coming Wednesday).

Me always will go into my stat-counter, not to see how many hits me got but rather to see who are the people who visited my blog.

Today, me see that there is zero visit which is not possible cos my stat counter is set in such a way that even me myself visit my own blog, the hit counter will reflect as 1 hit and furthermore both Noeyeseesee and Lau Hero had each left a comment in my blog, thus the conclusion me gathered is the stat-counter spoilt liao.

It is only then that me start to think: so why do me need a stat-counter? To show readers that me actually have the numbers of hits and people visiting my blog? (It is not true cos if me visit my blog 5 times a day, then me created the impression of 5 hits but in actual fact, where got par-kay?)

Me remember long time ago, me saw Monkichi answering some reader´s query on why her blog does not have a stat counter and her reply was: Why? Do I need one?

Anyway, what is 40000+ hits in the 8 months of my blogging? However me write, whether in Good English, Hokkien Singlish, Chinese or upload lots of pictures, still cannot hold a candle to blogs hits like Rockson, Blinkymummy and Xiaxue.

As me had mentioned before, me writing blog is not for anyone in particular but more to me enjoying myself in my own playground and of course the comments left by readers and the interaction of replies always makes me happy.

So, from today, me will just leave the stat counter as it is (42,431 hits forever) in my blog. Taking the opportunity that since the stat counter is already spoilt.

So be it. Me write, me enjoy!

Even if there is zero reader cos the greatest entertainment is to entertain myself.

lim peh kong wan liao

** Funny leh, after me posted the msg above, the "kee-seow" stat-counter suddenly is back to normal again **


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曾在很多年前写下一篇文章关于远在中国的姨母来新加坡探访我们,见 念旧












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Friday, May 19, 2006

Just For Laugh

lim peh ka li kong

Me received the following email from a good friend, Randy Chiu. Share with you:-

1) Ever wonder about those people who spend S$2.00 a piece on those bottles of Evian Water? Try spelling Evian backwards: Naive
* Old Beng thinks: Another good one is the milk powder´s brand: KLIM *

2) Isn´t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
* Old Beng thinks: Cannot compare like that la *

3) If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one ENJOYS it?
* Old Beng thinks: Good one playing with the words - suffer and enjoy *

4) Why isn´t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
* Old Beng thinks: So 21 and 31 should pronounce as twoty-one and threety-one? *

5) What hair colour do they put on the driver´s licenses of bald men?
* Old Beng thinks: Hmmm, maybe just record as botak? *

6) I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
* Old Beng thinks: This must be from those bo-liao ang-mo *

7) You never learn to swear until you learn to drive.
* Old Beng thinks: Quite true, I may say, since there are so many idiot drivers out there *

8) Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn´t zigzag?

9) If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
* Old Beng thinks: Ha ha ha, good one *

10)As income tax time approached, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS".

lim peh kong wan liao

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Monday, May 15, 2006


lim peh ka li kong

Me have a friend whom me have known him since 1989, the way we met and knew each other was rather unique: my last day in my company and his first day in the company and me had to hand over all the job to him.

Since then, we had had lunch and even dinner together cos although we were in different company but still within the same premise - The Air-Freight Centre (previously known as The Cargo Complex).

This friend, me shall call him H, was about my age and Old Beng then was a young Beng and was still single and so we 2 same kind of ABCD males (ABCD = Alligator, Buah-ya, crocodile, dinosaur) working in an industry with not many chio-bu around us (Of course la, Cargo Complex where got chio-bu?) Only got many "Ah-Qua" at Changi Point la.

Still remembered we would go for lunch together and then after our lunch we would look at girl girl although really not too many to be seen by the 2 咸湿佬; but what to do? no fish, prawn also good la; better than seeing "Ah-Qua" right?

Me and H that time quite bo-liao, some more gave nicknames to the girl girl we saw then. Wonder H still remember 独孤求败 or not? (By the nickname we gave her, you know that she was very the chio, so chio until 求败, you say la? Then there was another one called Miss 嚣张, always pulled a long face but she was indeed very swee too.

Of the few hundreds girl girl we saw then, me can only remember the above 2 chio-bu, you say jia-lat or not. In fact it was so jia-lat until me cannot tahan anymore and finally left the industry and venture else where leaving H alone to continue seeing the "Ah-Qua", ha ha ha.

Although me left Airfreight Centre, me still kept in touch with H and H has always been a nice guy and a good friend to me. Everytime me or my relative needs to move house, H will "voluntarily" (think because he bo-bian since me open my mouth asking him for help, so he LL has to help me) offers his help. Think until now, he must have helped me moved at least 3 times liao.

There was one incident which me remembered very well during my working days there in the Air Freight Centre.

Me remembered once me had an injured ankle and there were tonnes of workload thus me did not go out for lunch and asked one of my office girl to packet rice for me after she had her lunch.

When that office girl of mine came back, me saw that her both hands empty so me asked her where was the rice which me asked to packet for me.

"Ai-yo! I forget about it totally, sorry hor." And she just walked away.

In my heart, me was cursing her upside down, cos it was already past 2 pm and with my injured ankle, there's no way me gonna limp all the way to the canteen (which was in the next building) to buy my food. Tell me la, how to trust girl?

So me bo-bian telephoned H, whose office was in the same building as mine, asking him whether he had taken his lunch or maybe he was still sitting in the canteen bio-ing girl girl. But no, he was very on that day and he went back to his office immediately after his lunch.

After hearing my complain about no rice to eat, H offerred to buy me lunch. A short while later, H came up to my office with a packet of steaming hot rice and a packet of Teh-O, some more he even bought me a packet of cigarette (yeah, Young Beng was a smoker then). Me tell you ah, me only troubled him (especially he already finished his lunch and went back to his office) to packet rice for me and there he came with drinks and cigarette some more, this type of friend where to find?? * tears rolled down my cheek * (Ya ya, a little bit 夸张).

Know who H is? H is for Hero, Lau Hero 是也.

lim peh kong wan liao


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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Comments Comments

lim peh ka li kong

Apart from enjoying to write my blog, me enjoy very much on the
comments posted by friends.

Share some of the interesting comments posted by friends with you
and my views:-

By Qin Shi Huang on 情之为物
写的不错,well done…

* It seems like decades since Lau Qin last left a comment.喂!


By Ling n Pebble on Yin Yang Eyes
Mr Lim, I'm not afraid of ghost, I'm afraid of beasts..gossipers..
vicious pple..but sometimes I do get afraid of myself tho,
especially when I'm having my white facial mask on.

* Ling is still addressing me as Mr Lim cos she thought my name
is "Lim peh kong wan liao"*

By Angeline7030 on Yin Yang Eyes
What is Yin Yang Eyes? Me only got make up eyes with curled eye
lashes, see no ghost, hear no evil, speak no nonsense, eat no
rubbish, play no dirty.

Ghost is nothing other than born from humans.

Fear none my beloved brethens, for there is always an 666 Angel

* Angeline is a real humorous gal and me have had many many
memories of her during our YMB time, she has also gone missing
in action...*


By Xorpheus on The Boss And Me
Can I add in a bit cos I found this, in one of the email

Title: IF…

If a barber makes a mistake, it is a new style
If a driver makes a mistake, it is an accident
If a doctor makes a mistake, it is an operation
If parents make a mistake, it is a new generation
If a politician makes a mistake, it is a new law
If a scientist makes a mistake, it is a new invention
If a tailor makes a mistake, it is a new fashion
If a teacher makes a mistake, it is a new theory
If YOU Boss makes a mistake, it is YOUR MISTAKE

What a fucked up theory

* Xorpheus has always been a very nice and friendly chap
and his blog is always interesting to read with his short and
to the point postings *


By Ipromise on The Boss And Me
Believe it or not, I humiliate my boss (only on the tennis
court) Other times, I just have to press my “you know what”
and bear it

* One of the best joker I’ve known, his comment is always
able to make me laugh. Too bad that he is currently in China
and not able to access to blogs *


By No Eyes See See on Old Beng and Lucky Draws
12 children and living in HDB and earning less than 2K and
working as an office boy? Ha ha don’t bluf la but your story
is funny especially the Q&A part on sex.

* A young man with his unique way of penning down his
thoughts, something too subjective to comment on his style
of writing *


By Spinnee on The Lift
ahahahaha buatahan…. Nice post about lifts!!!
if anyone stands too near me, I sure elbow them one…wahaha

* Spinnee’s blog is one of the earliest blog me visited
and am still visiting daily. *

By Spinnee on 把情感收藏起来
When talk about 情,no one is in the wrong.
Since 情 is not wrong, den the principle/moral ethics kick
in to judge whether a person’s right or not.
My comment: It’s just that, pple always meet at right time
and love at wrong time

* Spinnee’s views are always different from others but
are always logical and rational, right to the point *


By Xishi on The Lift
I m like the lift lady
Always stand near to the lift buttons
And will ask which floor pple wan to go too
Ha ha I m too helpful :p

* Xishi is efficient both in English and Chinese, a real
开心果, I must say*


By Du Gu Wu Ti on 孤枕难入梦
sigh…!! Long time didn’t read this type of phase liao.
Sad stories always happen n I faced some b4 too!
Anyway just remember tomorrow will be a better day!!

* This Du gu wu ti does not have a blog (or maybe
he has with another name) and he has not left any
comment for a long time, hello, where you?? *


By Monkichi on 孤枕难入梦

* Monkichi has the ability to write good Chinese
but lately her blog seems to have stopped, 几时能再阅


By Yan Tau Kia on Old Beng: A Pseudonym
Anyway nice reading your blog, keep it up.
Sometimes we need to hide our identity to relieve our
work/family comitment “stress”

* Although this Yan Tau Kia has not been leaving comment,
me know he has been reading my blog cos he is a mutual
friend of me and Lau Hero *


By Jiji on Trip to Madrid and Paris
wow…cool pictures!!! I wanna go these 2 countires.
Old beng, u got 艳遇or not? , Ur size so macho, sure got
many red hair ladies tackle u

* Have known Jiji (cyberly of course) since YMB time
and her postings in YMB had raised many eyebrows. A hyper
talented gal who speaks English, Mandarin, Japanese and
even Spanish. Too bad she has stopped wrting her blog *


By Michael Chua on The Ways To Win A Woman’s Heart
yes I always wonder why beautiful women end up with plain
looking men. I myself am an example not that my wife is
drop-dead gorgeous and I very ugly. It’s just that she is
better looking than me.

* Mike has been an avid blogger who writes almost everyday
and the substance of his posts always makes me agree fully
with his opinions and views. You have not read any of his
posts? Go now cos you don’t know what you have been missing.*

By Michael Chua on 把情感收藏起来

* 哇捞,这个米糕还是个bilingual man, 佩服 *

By Emiriyo on 共勉之
Actually that’s quite true, things beyond our control we
should learn to let go… maximize our energy on things that
can yearn better results.

But bloody hell I’m those “cannot die” type! The more I
couldn’t get the more I want…

It’s until the very last moment then I Kum Wan to give up…

Hey, never try you’ll never know.

* As much as me like his ways of putting words together,
me still cannot tahan his icon picture representing him *


By Mama Dewi on A Poem From A Friend
beng & ling, thanks for the memories..and till now I can still
remember ever being in yr dream too, wif kakzar n lovelybeauty…

ling, indeed beng had brought those sparkling stars to all!!

* Dewi has been a long time friend too from YMB and she has
a fantastic blog although some of the posts me cannot
understand cos they were written in Malay (eh.. just like she
cannot understand mine when they were written in Chinese, ha ha)*


By Elydia on Are You Getting Old
Uncle Beng… I nag a lot too leh…plus my short term memory
I think worst than u…(seriously suspect something wrong
with my head).

Age is not a metter..what's important is always can see u
laugh like laughing buddha..kekekeke...

* A young gal who likes to mix and talk to old man
like Old Beng but no she is definitely no 小妹妹思想。She has,
in fact, a very matured thinking and a kind heart.*


By Dandan on 14 February, 2006
So sweet, my ideal celebration for valentine day! Cook at
home! Sooo wine

* A 感性 gal with writing talent, both in English and
Chinese though at times she is led by her moods and rather



By 一只熊 on Me And My Big Mouth

* 一只熊的留言总是令老明我惊讶、感叹、措手不及却又拿她没折,

By 阿恺 on 最。。。/对联
女人对男人: 你从来没有给过我高潮。

* 阅读阿恺的blog 并不很久,但她那淡淡的、清幽的文采是吸引着我

By SGB on 最。。。/对联

* SGB 的文笔素质 – 高、精、好、妙、狂、赞。*

By Lau Hero on 念旧

毫不虚伪。 然而,有时真看得我一头雾水,不禁妈妈声一番,他的文

By Hiao Auntie on Girl Girl
hahaha akina nakamori 中森明菜 you all still remember ah? Red
and white japan song festival she was hot favourite at one time…
I still remember one of the years’ song festival, she injured
herself but still turn up for the concert with long sleeve and
she swung her right arm round and round and her legs hardly
moving cos of injuries…”watashi kara sayonara shinakereba, kono
koi wa, owara nai no ne…” I still remember the song…I used to
tie my hair up high high like akina and my frens look at it and
point -> akina

* Hiao Aunty has been a gal who can write well though sometimes
she tends to pretend to be what she is not but who cares cos me
also not too Beng at times.*


There are many many more friends who had left comments in my blog,
Fireburn, Dukester, Miaka, Blueapple, The Royal Blood, ahbeng_chao,
Bored Dad, 枭燕子, Tracy, Kurakut, Sunflower, Shiakha..., but me just
cannot go on an on and on.

Want to read their interesting comments?

Go read my blog again la :)

lim peh kong wan liao

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Friday, May 05, 2006

Madrid And Barcelona

lim peh ka li kong

After more than 1 long year, me and my cha-bo-lang finally re-stepped onto the land of Spain, WooHoo!!

The familiar COLD weather enbraced us immediately like a long parted lover, BUT the good feeling soon turned unbearable especially with the strong wind blowing mercilessly at us. (7 Deg C)

As we had been to Madrid last year, me shall not talk much on Madrid except the following few photos to share with you.

When we left Madrid last year, one of the snack we missed the most is the Squid a.k.a sotong. This year, immediately after we checked into our hotel, we headed straight to the same Cafe and ordered a plate of the Spanish Squids (Calarmares).

One of our favourite dish in Madrid - Calamaries (Yummy!!!)

(Really thick, fat & juicy fried squid rings from Gago III , the best calarmares in Madrid we've tried so far, so YUMMY!!)

In Madrid, the most common food to the Spaniard is Bread. They eat lots of bread everyday.

While me was working in my Head-Quarters, my cha-bo-lang went roaming the Streets of Madrid everyday. (Hmmm, Spaniard males are all very handsome, don't know whether she manage to "hook" anyone or not?)

Anyway, here are just some of the photos she had taken in Madrid :

Plaza Mayor (Wah-lau, the people just sit around on the ground)

(Read as "Pla-tha Mar-yo", in spanish, z is pronounced as "th" as in thank.)

Royal Palace situated opposite to Plaza de Oriente :

(The changing shift of the Soldiers) - Eh... look at the horses' BIG LEGS.....shhhhh, me tell u a secret leh, during middle of the change-over session, one of the horsie while on stationary ground, couldn't tahan anymore and wee on the spot with the soldier still on it's back, WOH, really a big puddle leh....quite funny.

A glimpse of the beautiful garden beside the majestic Royal Palace.

During our roaming along the streets in Puerta de Sol in Madrid, we came across a man with 3 dogs and gosh, the puppy was so cute.

(Old Man & Dogs : From right to left - Papa Dog, Mama Dog and Baby Doggy)

Papa Dog even has it's own toy horsie to play with (see the tiny white horsie with blue mane??).

Puppy - not very photogenic here but looks really Cute in real life

Not only did my cha-bo-lang see the cute little puppy and its family, she also met with a hyper BIG dog.

My cha-bo-lang always comments she has a big face and that if you need to locate her in her school class photos from yesteryears, just look for the big face monster.....but This St Bernard dog has a face so much bigger than hers! Wahahaha, the dog win liah loh...hehe

We also saw a Pizza fast food Restaurant selling "Cone Pizza", really funny shape and there were some beautiful wall paintings in the shop.

Cone-Shaped Pizza (ma-chiam our ice cream drumstick)

The night scene in Madrid is very beautiful, the lightings of the buildings, statues, parks are all so serene and captivating, me and my cha-bo-lang really wish we could stay there for good...............

A beautiful scene of a majestic building (Plaza de la Independencia) at night.

See what I mean? it exudes that peaceful, warm feeling of Christmas, the Silent night-Holy night feeling right??

Here's a few more :

mmm...old beng's so-so only photographic skills may not do justice to the actual captivating night scenery, once if you are there, you will get to experience what I mean....

This is Cibeles, the Greek goddess of fertility, riding in a chariot pulled by two lions. She is really a magnificent sight to look at (actually, this is a photo from last year)

Plaza de Cibeles

This time when we visited twice, the lightings around her and the fountain somehow was not switched on (under maintenance??). Nevertheless, we tried taking photos of her again using two cameras but the photos all turned out blurry each time.

At first, we thought we had shaky hands (at night quite cold mah and she is located in the round-about in the middle of a traffic junction, quite windy) or maybe wrong camera settings, however we realised that photos of most of the surrounding scenes turned out quite ok except only when our cameras were focus on her .......creepy siah.... old beng me think maybe because no lighthings, not magnificient enough, so the Goddess didn't want to be captured on the photo without the beautiful lightings shining on we bade her goodbye

Old Beng me "bpai-Pose" in front of the Statue of Colombus in Madrid

After working hard for 5 days in Madrid, me and my cha-bo-lang took a train up to Barcelona for the weekend.

Beautiful Interior of the famous Atocha Train Station In Madrid

We were in Barcelona only for Saturday and Sunday and our schedule was really tight. We could only visit a few places of interests and had to forego some others due to the lack of time.

Barcelona is located at the edge of Spain near the sea with fresh produce of seafood, you must really try the seafood dishes if you are there!

We had tasted the best Paella (spanish rice, read as py-e-ya) in Barcelona. The one we had was cooked with squid (including the black ink) and langosta (Spanish lobster). Although it looked black and disgusting just like 黑 豆 饭 (Jail's Rice), mind you, it was extremely tasty!!...

This is Monkfish with special sauce, quite a nice dish too but me and cha-bo-lang felt a bit sinful leh because of the name : monk-fish.... = _ = "".......

Although old beng's eyes almost popped out when me saw the bill at the end of the meal, me felt that it was truly value for money as the food served in this restaurant was really very delicious and the ambience in this very nicely and artistically done-up restaurant was really superb!

On sunday, we visited the Parc Guell, a famous place of interest on the hilltop. Wa-kaoz, both of us climbed up the hill top via a very steep route, darn siong. (p/s : all thanks to the wrong entrance site we were misled to by the Hotel staff)

The steep steep ascend begins ......

Here you see my Cha-bo-lang 用 尽 吃 奶 之 力 to climb up the slope.....i.e. way before we reached the escalator starting at 半 山 腰 , wonder why they don't build the escalator right at the entrance from the bottom of the slope??

Half way up, a heart-warming scene : met a pair of big dogs - 黑 白 犬, waiting for their owner who was on the way up the escalator.

This is 大 白, 回 眸 一 笑 百 媚 生......

then now, it's 大 黑's turn.... : )

(Come to think about it, me wonder what the Spaniards are feeding their dogs with, most of their big breed dogs are really HUGE in size!!)

After climbing for like endlessly, we finally reached the top and the view wasn't bad at all.

Here's the famous wavy colourful ceramic serpentine bench (Gran Placa Circular) - the largest bench in the world, it encircles the whole square.

Here, we were greeted by some cheeky youngsters : "Ni Hao"....."Sayonara"....etc, (oh, btw, even in Asia region, old beng me at times kena mistaken as HongKonger or Japanese whereas cha-bo-lang back in sg is oftened asked if she's not local when she speaks Mandarin (陪 读 妈妈?), jialat one.....)

Gaudi's paviliion : curved roofs and brightly coloured tiles, dun they look like they are from Hansel & Gretel story??

Beautiful tiles on ceiling

Here u see a Chinese Beng-ish black dragon posing beside the icon of the park :

The famous tiled dragon (or issit just an iguana??)

(Hint: Old Beng was borned in the year of dragon)

In Barcelona, there is a famous street by the name of La Rambla, a tourist paradise or should I say the vendors' paradise?

Along the tree-lined pedestranised path are stalls/kiosk selling animals, flowers, magazines, paintings/portraits amongst artists and performing street entertainers.

At the beginning of La Rambla (Placa de Catalunya), there is a 19th century Canaleta fountain and the legend says that if you were to drink the water from it, you will definitely come back again to Barcelona, so me and my cha-bo-lang quickly drank the water, anyway free one what (yeah, typical Singaporeans).

Anyway, I think we spent quite a sum on the Street Performers (街 头 表 演 者).

They are generally quite an entertaining sight and some of them are really hilarious, except for a few petty ones, whom you would have to throw coins into their collecting cans before you can take snaps of them posing in their wild costumes. Others are quite alright with you snapping their performances but old beng me feel bad, so must be 自 动 too because afterall, people are making a living too....

In the beginning, me blur blur kept throwing in 2 Euro Dollar coins and 1 Euro Dollar coins (exchange rate is 1 Euro Dollar = SGD1.96) until me buay tahan anymore, started to throw in 0.50 Euro and even 0.20 Euro.

Some interesting photos which we took:

A Silent Cleopatra sitting quietly in the cold weather.

A Frozen Statue?

Can you see the man within the junk?

See the crystal ball on his arm? He rolled and controlled it as if it is part of his body.

At the square in front of the Barric Gothic, this comical young man played a few tricks and a young woman and a young girl from the audience were lured by his trick to help out in his performance.

Character from "Nightmare from Last Christmas"

(Aiyo, why is my cha-bo-lang grapping his leg so tightly???)

Cha-bo-lang between 2 Metal Tri-shaw Men carrying laughing skeletons

An Iron Man with a Book shaking my hand

A Copper Cowboy and Old Beng

Reincarnation of Charlie Chapin?

This Big Boobs Mamma makes my day, Wa-Kaoz, it is even bigger than my head :p

Lucky she never press my face onto her boobs (which she did to a few others who took shots with her) while taking these photos else old beng's ear lobes sure will be sweeping the road again (by courtesy of you-know-who-lah), only this time on the famous street of La Rambla)...heng ah...

Beautiful hotels adorn the street of La Rambla

Somewhere down the path at Placa de la Boquerie, here's the famous mosaic feature by Joan Miro :

The famous landmark : Umbrella shop with dragon

Antigura Casa Figeras - Escriba : the very famous chocolate shop (since 1820, i think)

We bought some of their specialty chocolate to try - really nice!

After taking the photos in La Rambla, we started to search for the famous "Four Cats" Restaurant - Els Quatre Gats - the one whereby the famous artist Piccaso loved so much to the extend of doing the Menu Cover and having his potraits hung up all over the Restaurant.

On the way there, we mistook that this is the building whereby the restaurant is located, to our horror, it was closed!!!!!!! Luckily we realised a while later that we had gar-bra-ed, btw, the features on the walls of this building were also done by Picasso too.

Impressive drawings engraved on the walls, artistically done huh?

This is the exterior view of Four Cats Restaurant - look at the exterior, it somehow reminds me of a very 怀 旧 情 怀 ambience.

Here's the 主 角 : the Four Cats, they even appear on the serving plate too!

The beautiful interior of the cosy restaurant which we did no have a chance to dine in becoz old beng me big mouth lah, when the captain asked me main meal?? I said salad dishes and drinks and as a result, we were led to the side dining hall, so sad right??

Artistic pictures hanging on the wall of the grand dining hall

For those of you who caught 曾 国 城 in his show 美 食 大 三 通 , he also featured this restaurant in his one of his series.

Old beng me posing infront of the famous bicycle picture (which is also imprinted on the table placement mats of the restaurant), btw, Picasso's portrait can be found among the rows of pictures hanging by the wall behind me leh!

After having nice food at The 4 Cats (which cost me a bomb), we left to explore Barcelona further.

Along the stroll in the back streets behind La Rambla, we discovered a Restaurant which sells Tapas (a typical Spanish Food - the tapas range from olives, anchovies, tortilla espanola (spanish omelette), albondigas(meatballs), octopus dishes and so much more to baguettes with different delicious kinds of toppings savoury to sweet) and yes, we ate lots of different kinds of the pinchotxs (hope i get the spelling right).

They charged you based on the number of toothpicks on your plate at the end of your meal, me and cha-bo-lang were so excited by the many different varieties of pinchtoxs spreaded before us that we ate a total of 14 sticks!!! (each cost 1.5 euros) YUM YUM : ) but expensive loh...

After fulfilling our needs to our hungry mouths, we went to visit the Le Pedrera (Casa Mila), a unique building of the famous Antoni Gaudi along Passeig de Gracia in Eixample district.

A long queue outside the entrance of the wavy-line (undulating balcony) building.

Beautiful Interior

The Artistic Knight-Look-Alike Chimneys At The Roof-Top

Attach below some of the unique/beautiful buildings/sceneries (both Madrid and Barcelona) to share with you.

Temple Expiatoria de la Sagrada Familia - Antoni Gaudi's unfinished masterpiece

(church construction started in 1882, expected to continue at least untill 2020)

Monument a Colom in honour of Christopher Columbus (in Barcelona)

(Here, he points the way to America)

This monument is 51.3m high and there is a lift at the bottom that takes you to the top of the viewing gallery where you can have a splendid view of the surrounding.

Part of the scenic view from the top of the Colom showing Port Vell

Think the trip to Barcelona was indeed too short and too rush for us, we have to go back there again one fine day..... anyone wants to sponsor us the air-ticket??

Some pictures taken in Madrid and Avila :

These dainty shop houses are quite a beautiful sight to look at while strolling along an unknown street in a lazy cosy afternoon...

Plaza de Villa

The famous Torre Picasso

A glimpse of the Holy Towers

Arco de la Victoria or known as Puerta de Moncloa (Moncloa Gate)

A statue in La Latina area, the few streets around this vicinity transform into a busy day "pasar malam" selling all kinds of things under the sun every Sunday morning (till noon only) - the El Rastro - Madrid's Sunday Flea Market, visited by thousands of of tourists and the locals.

Beautiful scenes in the famous park El Retiro

It is such a big park that i think we can spend the whole day admiring the beautiful sceneries...

Peaceful serene sceneries in West Park (hope I get the place's name right)


Autumny feel along one of the beautiful lanes in Avila

Convento de Santa Teresa (in Avila)


Now, everybody, this is the famous Estadio Santiago Bernabeu - the stage of Real Madrid

This renowned soccer station is within walking distance from the hotel which we stayed in Madrid, however, we did not have time during the weekdays to visit it (aiyoh, furthermore must pay entrance fee one leh, since old beng me not a soccer fanatic, me and my cha-bo-lang decided to just take a few snap shots from outside only)

See the beautiful colourful work of Miro on this ministerio building

In essence, Spain (Madrid and Barcelona) has many interesting sites to visit, cha-bo-lang and old beng me have many fond memories during our stay in these two cities.

Actually old beng me still have many more photos to share with you people but it's really tiring after such a long entry. A lot of you have been chasing me for the above entry after I tua-kang said me can sure post up last last week), so guess that's all for the time being liao........adios

lim peh finally kong wan liao : )

P/S: Those who missed my previous post on our trip to Madrid and Paris, you can read it here.


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