lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Friday, July 29, 2011

More Ha Ha Ha Clips

lim peh ka li kong

More funny clips for you:

epic fail photos - Dog Chase FAIL gif
Funny doggy

epic fail photos - Cat Jumping FAIL gif
Ha ha, silly cat

epic fail photos - Trampolining FAIL gif
Kah Chng itchy lah
lim peh kong wan liao
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Friday, July 22, 2011

Beautifully Written

lim peh ka li kong

Received these beautifully written words from a friend´s email.

If an egg is broken by an outside force... a Life ends
If an egg breaks from within... Life begins
Great things always begin from Within
It’s better to lose your Ego to the one you love
Than to lose the one you love... because of Ego

Why we have so many Temples, if GOD is everywhere?
A Wise Man said:
Air is everywhere but we still need a fan to feel it.

When you trust someone, trust him completely without any doubt
At the end, you would get one of the two:
Either a lesson for your Life or a very good person

Life is not about the people who act true to your face
It’s about the people who remain true behind your back
lim peh kong wan liao
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Monday, July 18, 2011



评戏之 4 star rating

5 4 star rating = 超级好戏,非看不可;
4 4 star rating = 好戏,值得购票看;
3 4 star rating = 还可以看;
2 4 star rating = 免费戏票以及有多余的时间才看;
1 4 star rating = 别浪费时间;



1991 年,处女作品“双城故事”叫好叫座,打响第一炮。
1996 年的“甜蜜蜜”,2002 年的“三更”以及2007 年的“投名状”都令人赞赏。












汤唯 : 漂亮,秀丽,我喜欢!
我给“武侠” 3 4 star rating

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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Funny Jokes Taken From Wendy´s Blog

lim peh ka li kong

Read some funny jokes from fellow blogger Wendy, must share them here.

Made some amendments on the names of the characters though.


Lao Hero walks into a pub, sits down on a bench and orders a cold beer. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another.

He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes and orders yet another one. This goes on for at least an hour and a half.

Finally the bartender, bursting with curiosity, says, "I know it's none of my business buddy, but I have to ask. Why the whole "drink, look in pocket, cringe and order another one" routine?"

"Well," slurred Lao Hero, "There's a picture of my wife in my pocket. When she starts to look good, then it's time for me to go home."


Lao Hero and his wife were watching TV when a TV evangelist came on air to Pray for the Sick.

The evangelist said. "For those of you who are sick, I want to pray with you so that you can be cured of your sickness. Place your right hand on the part of your body that is suffering from disorder, and raise your left hand."

Lao Hero placed his right hand on his privates, raised his left hand, and closed his eyes.

His wife saw what he did, and slowly whispered, "Honey, this prayer is to heal the sick, not to raise the dead!"


3 men No Eyes, Lao Hero and Old Beng are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing woman.

These 3 dirty fellows 咸湿佬 fall all over themselves in an effort to be the 1 to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the 3 suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."

The young No Eyes speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."

"Oh, how childish," said the pretty woman, "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."

She turns to Lao Hero and says "How well can you do?"

"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts Lao Hero.

"My, my," said the pretty woman, "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the young man's sentence."

She then turns to the last of the 3 men and says, "How about you, Old Beng?"

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to No Eyes and Lao Hero and says....

Liver alone. Cheese mine.


lim peh kong wan liao
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Friday, July 08, 2011

Embarassing Moment - 撞衫

lim peh ka li kong

Have we all not at one time or another, 撞衫 clash attire with another person in a gathering or during a wedding dinner?

几尴尬一下,especially if that person 穿得比你好看一百倍。

To us, 撞衫没什么大不了啦 but to most celebrities, 哇! 大件事咯!!

两人撞衫: Maggie Q and 李玟

三人撞衫: 王菲,章子怡 and 林志玲

四人撞衫: 梁咏琪,陈慧琳,赵薇 and 阿梅
Actually, these are still not the worst scenerio, lim peh present to you, the most jia-lat clashing

Shirt and table cloth

lim peh kong wan liao
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Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Four - Thai Movie

lim peh ka li kong

My movie grading:

5 4 star rating = Great show, sibeh nice, no horse run, sure must watch.
4 4 star rating = A good show worth paying to watch.
4 star rating = Watchable
4 star rating = Free ticket and have spare time then watch;
4 star rating = Don't waste your time;

lim peh always like Ghost stories.

Lately, the ghost movies from Korea and Thailand are getting better, much better than the USA, Taiwan and Hong Kong.

Some Thai movies which lim peh consider good ones were Shutter, Phobia I and II, Screen etc.

Actually, omnibus movies are my favourites cos you can get 4 movies albeit a bit short for the price of 1.

The lastest Thai ghost movie is a foursome - Lud See Lud aka Four.

Directed by 4 acclaimed directors of Thailand, 4 is an anthology film features 4 stories of drama, action, thriller and comedy.

Super brief storylines (no worries, no spoilers):

(1) Clean-Up Day: A group of young punks talking away...

(2) The Gift Shop For The Ones You Hate: Like the title, a gift shop...

(3) Eerie Night: 3 on the run criminals running into an old desserted warehouse...

(4) Dead Grandpa: A dead Ah Gong who refused to die...

Cha-bo-lang and I watched the DVD one weekend afternoon but we stopped the disc after the first 2 stories. Not that they were so scary until we dare not watch but they were so lousy until we couldn't continue to finish watching the whole disc. Yes, it's that bad. (Do understand that this is solely my opinion and to my taste).

Since lim peh already bought the DVD, I would want to finish the whole movie, be it good or lousy. So one day lim peh managed to sit still and finish the remaining 3rd and 4th story.

After watching the whole movie, the 3rd and 4th stories were better than the first 2 but still a great disappoinment to me.

Is the movie really so bad? Yes but to be fair, there were some good points like:

Story (1) : The director finished the whole scene in 1 long shot and that's quite cool.
Story (3) : The main lead Ananda Everingham acted rather well, very different from his other usual role and the finger cutting scenes were quite gross.
Story (4) : That "sissy" actor was rather funny even though he was a little bit over.

Overall, the stories are weak and lack in the gist of the unique Thai horror movies.


I can only give "Lud 4 Lud" (2 4 star rating)(Free ticket and have spare time then watch).

lim peh kong wan liao
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Friday, July 01, 2011

Swollen Cheek

lim peh ka li kong

I tell you ah, got 1 day hor, my left cheek suddenly swelled up leh. Everytime I open my mouth, it felt painful sia and my mouth also could not open big big, eat also quite difficult.

Ai-yo, show you the picture of my poor swollen cheek due to my swelling gum:

Tell you hor, when lim peh looked into the mirror, I saw my face actually like got baby-fat and quite chubby leh, only thing was quite buay balance lor, only one-side swollen. Many FB friends told me to drink more 凉茶, think lim peh too heaty liao.

One good friend of mine said I fat means fat la, what baby fat. I know la, he jealous of my humsap handsome face. Even my colleague said I looked cute. (Yee? why lim peh suddenly heard so many people puking?)

Anyway, my jealous friend also asked me why lim peh want to 打肿脸皮充胖子,he really kns lor.

I showed my swollen left cheek to my cha-bo-lang and she told me she had a brilliant idea to solve the imbalance of my face.

"How? Tell me, faster tell me", lim peh pleaded my cha-bo-lang to tell me her brilliant idea to solve my one-sided baby-fat cheek.

"Come, I give you one tight slap on your right cheek, then sure balance..." cha-bo-lang 边笑边说。

Wa-piangz, 认真靠害!

lim peh hope my swollen cheek can recover quickly so that I can look my normal self again, see lim peh's picture before swelling:

How? Yan dao hor? Ha ha ha.
lim peh kong wan liao
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