lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Friday, February 23, 2007

10 Reasons Why You Must Read Old Beng´s Blog

lim peh ka li kong

If anyone were to ask you why waste spend time reading Old Beng´s blog, these are the 10 LAME GOOD reasons to answer them:

1) Get scared by reading his not so scary Chinese written Ghost stories 狮城怪谈 and his incidents.

2) Learn some basic Chinese characters by reading his old Chinese articles.

3) Be directed to other very bo-liao good bloggers at the side-bars of his blog.

4) Learn some kns interesting Hokkien dialects.

5) Can see Old Beng sweating like crazy when cha-bo-lang stares at him (Admit it la, you all are just plain saddists, like to see the poor uncle someone facing troubles) .

6) Read crap good comments left by others.

7) Help to boost his hits counter. He he he, kam siah you. ^_^"""

8) Can see his photo (although the face always kena blanco-ed) .

9) Free entertainment although sometimes not so satisfying. (Hello, free one somemore want to complain? Beggars can´t be choosers hor and by the way no fish, prawn also good la).

10) Nothing better to do.

So remember to read Old Beng´s blog at least once a day since it makes you smile, scared, feel more superior after reading his half past six Singlish English, improvement in your Hokkien and most of all, it´s free entertainment for all what.

lim peh kong wan liao

Labels: ,

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Friday, February 16, 2007

金猪贺喜 新年快乐

HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL
新年又来了
老明、查某人
加上十二子女贺年卡
祝各位
新年快乐


** 图画取自 “竹林寺” 贺年卡

Labels:

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

狮城怪谈(十五)

(旧著)

=====

人死后是否能复生呢?这的确是个令人百思莫解的问题。轮回风水的存在价值有多少呢?尽管你信也好,不信也罢,十多年前,我的邻居林氏一家确曾遭遇过令人半信半疑的事。。。

=====

死前订终身
复生续前缘

=====

“怎么还不去睡?明天不用上课吗?” 母亲问我。

“就要睡了,让我先赶完这篇作业。” 我回答道。

“这么晚才作功课,整个下午在做什么?” 母亲有点儿不高兴地问道。

“我。。。” 由于整个下午我就只顾着玩,因此把明天要交的作业也忘了,但又怎能对母亲说呢?

看到母亲一脸不悦的样子,我赶紧把书包收拾好,连忙钻进被窝里。

可能是天气闷热的关系,当晚的我翻来复去,久久无法入眠。

正当我昏昏入睡时,一阵刺耳的声音把我从迷蒙的境界拉回清醒的世界。

只听见楼上传来连续不断的声音;象是有人正吃力地拉着椅子或桌子,而发出刺耳的声音。

接着却传来了石弹子碰击地板的声音,“的,的,的。。。”,当声音逐渐停止了,以为不会再有任何的声音,却又传来楼上丢出的石弹子落着地面上的声音。

“怎么搞的?三更半夜了还在玩弹子,真是过分!” 我心里不禁骂着。

被楼上的声音折腾了半小时,我方才再次地昏昏入睡。。。

x x x x x

第二天,当我放学回家时,见到住在楼上的林婶正站在我家门口和我母亲谈话。

只听见我母亲问林婶:“怎么妳的儿女们都这么迟才睡?我总是在半夜听到他们搬动桌椅,有时又象在丢弹子,而且不只一晚。”

林婶听后猛摇头说:“没有啊,我们全家都习惯早睡,他们又怎会在半夜玩耍?”

“可是我确实在半夜听到声音。” 我母亲说道。

“是啊,是啊,我昨晚也听到,还吵得我睡不着。” 我听了连忙插上几句。

“去去去,大人讲话小孩插什么嘴。” 母亲瞪着我说。

“我看你们大概听错了,我还有点事要做,我。。。我先上去了,改天再聊。” 林婶说完便急急离开了。

只剩下母亲以迷惑的眼神望着她的背影。

接着下来的几晚,楼上在半夜照样传来恼人的声音。有一晚的声音特别响亮,我从睡梦中惊醒。

某夜,林婶带着一位道士上她家去。

“怎么林婶会带道士回来?” 母亲问父亲。

“我怎会知道?” 父亲一边阅读报纸一边答。

“会不会和他们半夜发出的声音有关?” 坐在一旁做功课的我说道。

“怎么你最近变得那么多话?做功课不专心!” 母亲骂道。

我伸了伸舌头,再也不敢吭一声。

x x x x x

隔天我放学回家刚好遇到林婶站在我家门口。

“进来坐吧。” 母亲对着林婶说道。

“打扰了。”

“那里。” 母亲说完瞪着我说:“怎么不会叫人?”

“林婶。”

林婶坐下后便开口对着母亲说:“我今天登门拜访是有事对你说,不说我心里实在过意不去。”

“我不明白妳的意思,什么过意不去的?” 母亲说道。

“妳说过前几晚常听到我家在半夜传来声音,其实这件事我知道,只是不知该如何对妳说。”

“原来并不是我听错。” 母亲喃喃道。。。

x x x x x

有一晚,林婶因尿急便从舒适的被窝爬起,走向厕所时,她忽然见到餐桌正摆在客厅的中央。

林婶一边把桌子搬到一旁一边暗暗奇怪到底是睡把桌子搬到客厅的中央?

解决完毕,林婶再次回到她那舒适的床,就在她躺下的几分钟后,客厅传来一阵桌子被人拉动时擦着地上所发出的声音。

“谁在这么晚了还在搬动桌椅,真是的!” 林婶一边想一边走出房间。

只见客厅的中央又摆着那张桌子,四处却不见有人。

这种情形发生了几个晚上,林婶也见怪不怪,反正又没伤害到人,也没打扰到任何人。其实住在楼下的我们早已被 “惊动” 到了。

有一晚,林婶在睡梦中又隐隐约约听到有人在她身旁讲话。在她半睁着的睡眼中,见到他的丈夫林叔正坐在床上与人正在谈话。

可怕的是林叔的面前根本没有人,而他却又闭着双眼一直对着黑漆的空房子谈着。

“是,我知道。我当然也还记得,我也不想这样,我知道妳寂寞,是,我明白。” 林叔还伸出手在半空中摸了摸,仿佛正在抚摸着一个隐身人的头发。

林婶被这一幕吓得出不了声,只发出沙哑的 “啊。。。啊。。。” 声。

“我知道,妳别再伤心了,嗯,我明白。” 林叔还在对着空气交谈。

林婶这时忽然不知从那里来的力气,推了推林叔的手肘,叫了一声:“喂!”

林叔被这突来的侵袭声吓得一下子清醒过来。“什么事?怎么啦?”

林婶对林叔说了她刚才的所见,林叔听了一脸愕然道:“是吗?怎么我一点也不知道?难道我是在说梦话?”

“说梦话那有人象你那般坐着讲?” 林婶道。

“别管了,睡吧,明天才打算。”

第二天晚上,林婶请了一位道士回来,希望能为他们解除心里的疑问。

道士把自己和林叔关在房里一小时后才走出客厅来对林婶说出林叔夜夜对 “空气” 交谈的前因后果。

原来林叔的前生与他的前生妻子非常恩爱,两人共结为夫妇,一同生活了整四、五十年。

在他们二人年老去世时,双方都许下誓言,要在下一世再续良缘。

但轮回与转世却不是你我所能掌握的,更不是你我所能了解的。

林叔转世投胎后与林婶结婚并且育有儿女整十人,而他的前世妻子却无法转世投胎。

不知何时,林叔的前世妻子的灵魂找上门来,对林叔诉说她的孤单与寂寞,更希望与林叔再续前世缘。

可惜的是,林叔转世了,但她却还是无法转世,虽然心有不干,却又无可奈何。

或许是她一直惦记着林叔因此许久都无法转世投胎。

经过道士的一番劝导,那灵魂才依依不舍的答应永远不再打扰这一世的林叔,毕竟他们已是阴阳两隔。

从那晚起,楼上再也没传来半夜拉桌椅的声音,林叔再也没有对着 “空气” 交谈了。。。

x x x x x

其实,这一世的缘已是交错得令人措手不及了,更何况前世!?

今世也好,前世也好,来世也好,缘分总是令人无法明白,只知道一切仿佛早已注定,一切都很玄很玄。

你相信人会转世投胎也好,不信也好,就把它当作成是一个故事吧。

其实信与不信又有什么分别呢?轮回这事根本不是你我所能了解的。。。

(故事十五完)

Labels: ,

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Friday, February 09, 2007

10 Incidents Which Make You Go @$%#&€@ Part II

lim peh ka li kong

Me wrote about 10 Incidents Which Make You Go @$%#&€@ in October 2006, then realised there are more incidents to it.

1) Disgusting and inconsiderate Ah Pek spitting in the public; Some Taxi drivers will just bo-chap open the car-door, stick their heads out and spit.

2) KNN KNS Idiotic smokers smoking openly in coffee shop even though they know they are sitting at the non-smoking section.

3) You entered into a lift and was greeted with the fart left by the person who had just got out of the lift.

4) Some mischievous naughty boy pressed the buttons to every floor in the lift after he got out of the lift and you entered on level one.

5) You gave an ang-bao of $2 to your friend´s son and he gave you son an ang-bao with only $1. Lugi $1 man! (nb, still got people give $1 ang-bao one meh?)

6) You tried to makan 15 minutes before the actual tearing time in your parking coupon and suay suay that @$%#&€ "Aunty" came to check your coupon 10 minutes after you left. (Stop blaming the "Aunty", she´s just doing her job, blamed yourself la):

7) You hid your extra bonus in your pocket but forgot to clear it out before you handed the pair of trousers to your wife to wash and knowing that she will check all pockets before throwing the trousers into the washing machine.

8) That driver stopped his car in the yellow box just in front of the small road which you were trying to drive out.

9) Trolleys pushed by Aunties at the super-market just rammed into your poor ankles and as if nothing had happened and walked away; Some kns ones even stared at you because YOU deserved to be rammed as you were blocking her way.

10) Your computer "hang" until cannot move/save anything that you had done for the past 30 minutes (school projects, Office presentation, blogging) and everything you prepared was not saved and you have to @$%#&€@ re-do everything all over again.

lim peh kong wan liao

Labels: ,

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

(旧著)

很小很小的时候,很骇怕许许多多的事情与人物。

怕黑、怕鬼、怕医生、怕吃药、怕警察甚至怕那位高喊 “卡郎古尼” 的老伯伯,就是不怕死。奇怪,可能对死亡一词很模糊吧,并不晓得害怕。

很多人都不怕死,(也许只是说说而已),其实死真的不可怕,特别是当死亡来得太突然,一点骇怕的感觉都没有。

当能够生存下去时,又有谁愿意死?不管什么难关,只要咬紧牙根,总会雨过天晴的。

所以千万别自寻死路,因为有些人根本连活的机会都没有。

知不知道有多少未曾成形的生命每天都被妈妈杀死,被堕掉。

每每看到年轻人自杀的新闻,心里总会觉得莫名的痛。蚂蚁则偷生,更何况身为人类的我们?

其实,人的生死实在是自己也作不了主,君不见,有许多大好青年在意外中丧生,真叫人觉得可惜。但,又能怎样?生死有命。

有一个很具争论性的问题-----当一个人患了不治之病,正在受苦,医生是否应当让病人减轻痛苦而替病人人道毁灭?

毕竟,死亡的来临对病人来讲只是时间上的先后罢了。

死,从某个角度来看,有时也是一种解脱!

=====

2007 后语:

既然不知死亡会在何时敲门,理应珍惜每分、每秒。

Labels:

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Friday, February 02, 2007

An Incident 4

lim peh ka li kong

Waiting for another Incident story? Heard this story, here it goes...

=====

"So are we still going?" Mike looked at John with a challenging look.

"Eh... think we better not meddle with this type of things la," John told Mike and John´s fiancee, Eileen who was sitting behind him in the back-seat also said, "Yeah lor, Mike, we shan´t meddle with the unknown..."

Even Jenny, Mike´s newly-wed wife, said, "Mike, we really shouldn´t mess with something we are not sure of, furthermore, what will we gain?"

"Ha!!! You all are just chicken, scared huh?" Mike said sarcastically with a smirk smile that lingered at the tip of his mockery smiling lips.

Pointing his finger at John, Mike said scornfully, "John, you were the one who said that you have seen the old lady who summoned the spirits of the dead with your very eyes. Now that we have agreed to go and see the incident with our eyes, you want to chicken out?"

Mike and John were NS buddy and they had known each other for more that 10 years. Eileen was John´s fiancee and Jenny was Mike´s wife. They were making small talks over dinner and the subject about the spirits of the dead was discussed and John mentioned that he had seen a Medium summoning the spirit of his dead Grandfather about a month ago.

Mike was one stubborn jackass who did not believe in spiritual issues and they had agreed to go for the summoning of the spirits again tonight.

"Eh... Mike..." John tried to further dissuade his buddy but Mike stopped him to talk further and said, "Come on, just go and see that medium again, what will we lose?"

"Mike, I am not feeling very well, let´s go home," Jenny pleaded.

"No, we are going and that´s final. What´s wrong with you all?" Mike said angrily.

"Alright, alright, let´s just go, maybe that medium is not available tonight." John said as he didn´t want both Mike and Jenny to quarrel.

Finally, after half an hour of silence ride, the 4 arrived at the Medium´s house.

"Mike, I am really not feeling well, I am not going in and I shall wait in the car," Jenny told Mike.

"I will stay with Jenny and take care of her," Eileen said.

"Alright, you 2 girls stay in the car and wait for us. I will go in with Mike," John quickly interfered before Mike could say anything.

"Ok, guess it won´t take long," Mike said to Jenny before they opened the car door and stepped into the medium´s house.

When they stepped into the hall, there were about 5 groups of people waiting for their turns.

"Mike, so long queue, shall we just go..." John whispered to Mike cos it was in total silence even though there were so many people in the hall.

"We will wait." Mike answered softly.

While they were waiting for their turn, the Medium (an old lady) was sitting facing the main door with her eyes closed. There was a young man standing beside the medium and he kept wiping the face of the Medium as she perspired a great deal during the process.

One thing that amused Mike was that the Medium spoke in different voices every time a new spirit was called upon. She sounded like an old man, a young girl with China 山东 accent, a perfect Cantonese conversation.

Mike was thinking to himself, "This Medium is rather professional as she can speak more than 1 dialect thus making her show more genuine."

Finally, after a long wait, it was Mike´s turn.

"Yes?" the young man asked Mike.

"I will like to summon the spirit of my... eh...cousin." Mike said.

"Tell us the deceased name, gender, date of death, last residing place." The man said.

"Jenny Siah, female, eh... I don´t know her death date but her birth date is xxth June, 19xx, last residing at Block xxx, xxxx Road, #08-1xx, Singapore xxxxxx" Mike answered.

John was totally shocked when he heard Mike playing a trick by providing Jenny´s particulars to the Medium, "Mike...."

"Sh... John, please do not interrupt the Medium to do her job." Mike stopped John from saying any further.

The Medium was swaying slightly and mumbling the particulars of Jenny. After 3 minutes of unsuccessful attempts of summoning the spirit of Jenny, the Medium stopped and whispered to the young man beside her.

"Sorry, she cannot find the spirit of the deceased you wanted to summon..." The young man said. "You should come back another night to try..."

"Please try again. We have come all the way here and I will not leave unless I speak to Jenny´s spirit." Mike said with a pathetic tone but in his heart he was roaring with laughter and calling the Medium a Con-Woman.

"Ok, we will try again."

The Medium swayed in greater motion and from her mouth came her hoarse chanting, "Is Jenny Siah available? Please lead her spirit to us, PLEASE LEAD HER SPIRIT TO US NOW! NOW!! NOW!!!"

John was totally freak-out and he had to hold on to Mike´s arm to be able to stand upright without collapsing onto the ground.

"JENNY SIAH...COME...NOW...COME NOW!...COME NOW!!!..." The Medium continued to summon the spirit of Jenny and her voice became louder and louder, "PLEASE LEAD HER TO ME NOW... NOW.. JENNY... PLEASE COME FORWARD...."

And suddenly, the Medium halted for a mere second, as if she was struck by a bolt of lightning and her voice changed completely, "Woo... woo... where am I ... what happen to me woo hoo ... why am I here... I feel cold... I ... woo.... ArrrrrgggghhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Mike.... what have you done..."

Both John and Mike fell onto the ground as they both recognised Jenny´s voice which was coming out from the Medium´s mouth.

While both of them were staring at the Medium who was crying in Jenny´s voice, Eileen stormed into the hall with face as pale as a piece of white sheet of paper and tears all over her face, cried, "Mike! John! Quick, Jenny has collapsed in the car, please help...."

Labels:

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Sadness

lim peh ka li kong

When lim peh saw this picture in Simple Guy blog, me was like "what the @&%#" but then when lim peh see more carefully, an inevitable sadness enfolds me completely.

See for yourself....





The cruel truth.

Sad right?

lim peh kong wan liao

Labels:

Related Posts with Thumbnails