lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

有朋自远方来

令伯卡你讲

世事真奇妙。

如果老明我不曾写 Blog,就不会认识一些网友。

因为blog 而结交了一些在新加坡的朋友,也一块儿出来吃一餐、喝杯咖啡。当中见过面的有Xorpheus, Elydia, Whiskoffee, Hiao Auntie, Cockroach888, DanDan, Leonard

也见过了几位马来西亚的朋友如 CarCar, Don Lim, 少俊森林Munwey, 新怡

近日,一位在网上所认识的汶莱朋友
子非鱼来到新加坡。由于知道得太迟,实在腾不出时间陪她,只能和查某人在星期六一起陪她吃顿晚餐。

到了约定的时间,老明和查某人到Ibis Hotel的Lobby接见子非鱼

虽然我没见过子非鱼,但当她和她的母亲从大堂的电梯走出来时,我就知道我要接的人就是她。

我们自我介绍一番后,便一起到位于乌节路Wisma Atria 吃晚餐。

我们一边吃一边聊,幸好子非鱼的母亲会说华语以及福建话,我们才能沟通。

子非鱼那儿知晓其实汶莱新加坡在吃这方面差异不多,所以晚餐并不难解决。

在那短短的一顿饭的时间里,我们就谈了两国之间的种种事迹:

食物、车子、房产、天气、网络、CPF、退休年龄、休闲活动、狗狗、别的 Bloggers也成了我们交谈的话题,真是什么都大谈一番。

吃谈之间,我拨了一通电话给
蓝月让子非鱼和她谈了一会儿,因为我知道她们都认识对方。

饱尝一餐后,子非鱼和她的母亲与我们夫妇俩道别,自个儿在热闹的乌节路逛逛。

道别之前,子非鱼送了一款汶莱发行的首日封以及一枚别致的邮票纸压。我羞愧得脸颊发红因为我都没准备礼物给她,真是几 malu 一下。

令伯讲完了
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Lau Hero and The Farmer's Widow

lim peh ka li kong

Long time no hear from my friend Lau Hero, kind of missed him. Lim peh remembered one more incident which happened to him long long time ago:

=====

A successful farmer died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the farm but knew very little about farming, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a farmer hand.

Two men applied for the job. One was a gay named Lau Hero and the other a drunk named No Eyes.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire Lau Hero the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

Lau Hero proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about farming.

For weeks the two of them worked and the farm was doing very well.

Then one day the farmer's widow said to Lau Hero, "You have done a really good job and the farm looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

Lau Hero readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock...and no sign of him.

Finally, Lau Hero returned around two-thirty and upon entering the room he found the widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, Lau Hero did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

"Now take off my socks."He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

"Now," she said, "take off my panties."

By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, I'll fire you on the spot."

=====

lim peh kong wan liao
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Monday, October 12, 2009

ASD Charity Event Gathering

lim peh ka li kong

Remember lim peh’s previous post on ASD Charity Event?

Lim peh very smart one and made use of the opportunity to make it a small bloggers’ gathering event of our own (thanks to Xorpheus – the supposedly original person to organize our gathering some 3 years ago).

“Got 3 years so long meh?” Everybody who attended last Saturday night’s dinner was doubting Old Beng’s statement.

Since my blogging saga, lim peh have met up with Xorpheus in 4 different occasions:

1) KTV session on the 13 Nov 2005; (With Qin, Monkichi, I Promise and Xishi)
2) Supper at Lavender on the 17 Dec 2005; (With Qin, Monkichi, Xishi and Elydia)
3) Japanese Dinner on the 02 Jun 2006 (With Elydia and Dan Dan) and
4) High Tea on the 02 Oct 2006; (With Elydia, Hiao Aunty, Cockcoach and Joshua)

See? The last time we met up was on the 02 Oct 2006, 3 long years man.

Actually hor, we did have another gathering on the 01 Mar 2007 during Chinese New Year at Hiao Aunty’s house but our Xorpheus fly, flew, flown our aeroplane then.

Anyway, since our Xorpheus WAS so busy and IS still so busy, lim peh took the liberty to gather some of the bloggers to meet up last Saturday.

Old Beng & Cha-bo-lang, Elydia & Peter, Joshua, Hiao Aunty and Xorpheus came together again for a talk cock session.

We ate, we talked, we suan-ed one another, we updated our status (someone got married a year ago and nobody seems to know, darn jia-lat lor), we laughed and most importantly, we enjoyed our evening with one another’s companionship.

Before we knew it, it’s almost 11 pm and we had to bid goodbye.

Since everybody was pointing fingers at someone for not doing his part in organizing our gathering, this time round, our next gathering session was fixed before we went our separate ways.

We are going to have a “Supper cum Tea Session”, details as follows:

Venue: West Coast Road “Ah Neh’s Coffee Shop”
(opposite Esso petrol Kiosk)
Date: 17 Oct 2009 Saturday
Time: 9:30 pm

Interested? Come come don’t shy, it’s gonna be a happy night and it is also very economical. (Prata and teh in coffee shop, cheap cheap.)

lim peh kong wan liao.
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Thursday, October 08, 2009

不可思议的事迹 -- 我的亲身体验

今天与各位分享一件不可思议的事迹:是老明我的亲身体验。

事情都玄之又玄,各位听过后,各凭自个儿去想一想,信与否并不重要。

我也不是在传教,只是在诉说一些事情的发生罢了。

=====

十多年前,我和查某人到了日本东京 (Tokyo)、京都(Kyoto)与奈良(Nara)去游玩。

那时,可能是因为脚踝旧伤复发,从一下飞机抵达东京的那一刻起,我的右脚踝就开始疼痛,走路一拐一拐,每走一步便痛一次。

在东京走了七天,脚疼足七天。但没办法呀,出外旅行,痛也只能咬紧牙关忍一忍,难道整天困呆在酒店房间里不外出吗?

东京之后我们再转去京都。

其中一天我们夫妇俩乘搭新干线到奈良去了一趟。

我的右脚踝的疼痛完全没好些,还是疼痛非常。当然啦,每天从早走到晚,没啥休息怎么会好呢?

奈良有着一间很有名的 “东大寺”,那也是我们所要去参观的寺庙之一。


从京都乘新干线到奈良,再转巴士到 “东大寺”。下了巴士还必须步行一大段路,但途中并不沉闷,因为一路上风景优美,也见到了很多很多的鹿。

终于,拐着拐着、慢慢的也到达了 “东大寺”。参观了好一些寺庙,我们忽然见到一尊佛像。那尊佛像并没有被围起来,参拜者都可以触摸到佛像。

佛像旁竖着一个讲解牌,大略是: “人如果身体哪儿不舒服,只要在佛像同样的部位摸一摸,便会得到解脱。”

很多年前,老明对佛学的认识并不很深(当然现在稍微好一些)。当时的我并不十分清楚诸位神佛 ---- 释迦牟尼佛、彌勒菩薩、阿彌陀佛、藥師佛、观世音菩萨等等也只能辨认一二。

我记得当时望着那尊佛像,心里就想着,反正试试也没什么损失,就往那佛像的右脚踝摸了几下。

之后我们夫妇俩在寺庙里走了一会儿,便步出外到附近逛逛。

咦!!! 我的右脚踝忽然之间不痛了!天啊!我痛了整整十天,拐了整整十天,右脚踝竟然不痛了。

我正常的来回走动着,不敢置信,但事实就在眼前。我望着查某人,她也正望着我,满脸惊讶。

我们都知道发生什么事,却都不想说出来,只是愉快地走着,看着四周美丽的风景。

整个下午,我们都在奈良里闲逛直到黄昏时分才在 “东大寺” 附近乘搭巴士到新干线的车站。

巴士上一路慢驶着,我们都欣赏着街道景象。

当巴士抵达新干线车站,我们夫妇便下车去转换新干线。但一下巴士,我又开始感觉到我的右脚踝又开始痛了起来。

当新干线往京都的方向驶去时,我的右脚踝也越来越痛。。。

接下来在日本的旅程,右脚踝一直疼痛着,完全没康复到。

=====

回来新加坡后,我才发现到那尊我所触摸的佛像就是 “药师佛”(God of Medicine) Medicine Buddha)。

老实说,我拜佛,但我不相信奇迹、神迹;这件事如果不是发生在我自己的身上,我不会相信。

现在,你问我相信神迹吗?

我相信。。。
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Tuesday, October 06, 2009

I Also Say WTF

lim peh ka li kong

Saw this post at No Eye's blog, hot man! (Hot means angry type of hot not chio type of Hot).

If lim peh were the parent of the student, I will make sure I sue that bloody teacher till his pants drop and lim peh will kick his balls so hard until they split and shove them into his mouth.

What kind of teacher? What kind of man? Phui!

I don't know what's the issue behind it but his action is totally unacceptable.

lim peh also ROAR!!!!! and yes, I think I will break his hand if I were there.

No Eye's post.

lim peh kong wan liao
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Thursday, October 01, 2009

To You

I can’t bring you lots of money
But I can bring you lots of laughter


I can’t provide you with a muscular body
But I can give you affectionate hugs


I can’t buy you a big house with a big garden
I can only give you a comfortable home


I don't have a melodious voice to sing you sweet lullaby
But I can give you foot-reflex massage before you sleep


I don't have a handsome face
But I do have lots of love

X X X X X

And these are my presents - From a not too rich husband
Happy Birthday to you
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