lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Types Of Office Workers

lim peh ka li kong

Me been working for the past 20 over years and have seen many different types of workers. Just to share some of them with you:

The Silencer
This kind of colleague very the no-shiok one cos he is always having a "poker" face who is very quiet; Always minds he own business with a "don´t play play attitude". Although he doesn´t offer to lend a helping hand when he knows you need one but most of the time he is very much obliged to help if he is been approached. He is that kind you don´t ka-jiao me, me no chap you and life just goes on happily ever after.

The Mr OK
From the name me branded him you know he is the "OK" man aka "YES" man. Me salute this type of worker cos he seldom gets angry, everything and anything also no problem. The good point of being a Mr OK is that many female colleagues will like him or merely just taking advantage on him.

The Talk Only Man
This is the half past six in-depth knowledge person but thought he knows everything under the sun. All he knows is to talk and talk and talk only and when he is been query further when he cannot answer, he will siam far far away immediately.

The Always Busy Man
Me very scared to work with this type of worker: Just imagine, a worker who never stops working, every minute sure got something to do one, sometimes even no time to go to the toilet also. You will see piles and piles of paper and files all over his work-station and he is one worker who comes in early and leaving late; Sometimes makes me wonder he so bo-eng what?

The Pokemon Man
This type of man really the Jia-lat one but unfortunately, there is at least one in every company. He masters the act of "fingering"- behind poke poke until you bleed to death also don´t know. Don´t think you can be-friend him so he will let you go, no way la. This type of Pokemon Man no friends one la, don´t even think about it.

The Snakeman
The animal-lover, Snakeman, always goes to the toilet; to the pantry and out of the office premise for a smoke. Coming to work late and leaving early and of course have longer lunch time and tea breaks than anyone else. The best part is we are sure that our boss knows such Snakeman around but just no action taken against him leh, funny?!?

The Tidbits Man
Me referring to "tidbits" not "tit bits", don´t confused hor, especially Lau Hero, always confused one. This type of colleague very the good one especially when you need to work overtime cos his work place is like a mini 7-Eleven: simi also have - soft drinks; biscuits; tidbits; hot beverages; keum-sng-tee; maggie mee; etc etc...The saviour.

The Telephone Operators
This type of worker is always talking on the line, to darling, spouse, friends, family members and always using the phone. Sometimes me hear the aunties talking to their friend about their children going to school la then "East family long, West family short" non-stop until of course when it is lunch time.

The Garang Gunee Man
The Garang Gunee Man is always taking office stationeries back for own personal use. The common items are pens, papers, pencils, paperclips, liquid-paper; ruler, etc etc, probably to make up for the low salary paid to him but hello, a crime is a crime, doesn´t matter the value of the items you take home.

The Strong Background Man
A piece of advice hor since we all so friend friend. The Strong Background Man is one person you must not crash with unless you have decided to fry the boss cuttle-fish. He with the BOSS as firm backbone, he is already classified as "The Untouchable", so even if he is very the ya ya papaya, just avoid him as much as you can. What to do, toto never kena, hung-cheng so bad now, later no job worse leh.

The Corporate Spy
This is one worker I don´t really understand. He is forever spying on colleagues´ performances and to the extend of taking down as notes. ??? He must be too free and wants to compare one another´s job.

Me very sure there are some more many other types of workers around us but think me will stop here. Ah yes, another type of worker lately is the one who uses office time and computer to write blog, ha ha ha.

lim peh kong wan liao

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Thursday, February 23, 2006

最。。。/ 对联

曾经沧海难为水 除却巫山不是云

不在乎天长地久 只在乎曾经拥有


男人以爱为手段 以性为目标
女人以性为手段 以爱为目标





身后有余忘收手 眼前无路思回头

树欲静而风不止 子欲养而亲不在


以上纯属个人看法 欢迎提供新意见。






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Tuesday, February 21, 2006
















2006 后记:




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Thursday, February 16, 2006

Me And My Big Mouth

lim peh ka li kong

Lately me seems to be having some problems with my cha-bo-lang; Apparantly me no match with her leh when come to mind game or is it that me a little bit over suspicious?

Me vividly remembered that it was during the fifteenth day of the Lunar Calendar night while we were having our usual routine stroll after our dinner in a park nearby our house.

When strolling slowly, my cha-bo-lang was looking and admiring the big bright moon in the sky while me trying to fan the irritating mosquitoes away from me. Wonder why the mosquitoes only like to bite me? Ha, think my blood more tasty la.

While me was busying looking out for the mosquitoes, my cha-bo-lang suddenly turned towards me and said, "Lau Beng, you very good huh? 你干的好事。I am very disappointed with the mistake and wrong done by you!"

The moment me heard her saying "你干的好事" and saw her eyes open big big looking at me, my sweat started to come out from my forehead, neck and back despites it was a rather windy night.

"Eh... 老婆, mean mis...mis...mistake ah?" Jia-lat, begin to stutter some more.

"You still dare to ask me? You don't even know what wrong you had done?" My cha-bo-lang answered me back with questions.

In my heart, me was thinking "Die la, this time really jia-lat" and my mind was racing wildly trying to recall what mistakes and wrongs I had done lately.

"Why? Keep quiet only huh? 默认 right?"

"No la, how to admit when I don't even know what wrongs I have done?"

"哼!! Don't admit your mistake, done. You can jolly well sleep in the hall tonight for all I care."

Oh no, gonna be 厅长 tonight again?

"No la, I want to sleep in the bedroom la, please tell me what wrong I have done? I really don't know leh."

"You better confessed before I get more angry." My cha-bo-lang replied sternly.

"Eh... eh... is it because last weekend I striked 3rd prize never tell you?" Me was thinking, how come she know I secretly strike 4D?

"Nope, it's not this issue." My cha-bo-lang replied.

"Then is it because that day I secretly watched the (RA) Japanese vcd at Lau Hero's house?" Me was thinking must be Lau Hero accidentally spilt the beans. Wa-lao, brother, how can leak out like that, very dangerous to me one you know?!

"Nope, it's not about you hum-sup men watching pornographic movies." My cha-bo-lang gave me a disgusting look which made me feel shameful and dare not look at her.

"Eh... or is it because I secretly went to eat fried chicken and french fries during my lunch time?" Wondering who is the busy body from my office who told my cha-bo-lang I ate unhealthy food for lunch?

"Ha! Not this issue also."

"Eh... eh... eh..." My mind was a complete blank then.

"Still cannot think of the mistakes?" My cha-bo-lang stared at me with her 2 big round eyes.

Then something came into my mind, must be this issue la.

"Eh... sorry la 老婆, me only look at the girl girl. No motive one la, you know me what, NATO one. Give me 老虎胆 also dare not do anything one la, just see see look look with appreciation only ma."

Upon hearing my confession, my cha-bo-lang nodded her head and walked home quietly. Me dare not to utter a single sound and followed quietly behind her trying to figure out what's her mood now?

"老婆... " Me trying to talk to my cha-bo-lang.

"老婆 what? So you have been doing all these wrong things behind my back huh?" My cha-bo-lang turned and talked to me. "If I don't question you, you just keep quiet and silently doing all those wrong things."

"Huh? You... you mean you didn't know all these things ah?"

"So, Mr Beng, how much did you strike for your 3rd price huh? You not only hum-sap, you are eating junk food for lunch and look at girl girl and drooling all the way! Don't you know your spare-tyre is getting bigger everyday?"

Wa-lao eh, think I kena tricked by my cha-bo-lang already, me and my big mouth.

Because of this incident, my 4D prize all gave to my cha-bo-lang and my pocket money from her was lessen drastically thus not able to eat fried chicken again, 唉!!

Any friend working near me can buy me good lunch or not? Me have been eating bread as lunch (packed by my cha-bo-lang) since then.

lim peh kong wan liao

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Wednesday, February 15, 2006

14 February, 2006

lim peh ka li kong

Yesterday when me came home from work, the moment me stepped into the house, a nice yummy smell immediately hit my sense of smell.

Me saw my cha-bo-lang cooking in the kitchen, Woo Hoo!! She's preparing our Valentine Dinner.

I had a good share of fruit salad as well as a vegetable salad prior to the main course.

Finally, my cha-bo-lang brought out 2 big plates of main course and the smell really made my stomach growl loudly.

The photo wasn't taken well due to the resolution of my lousy handphone. Let me describe the food on the plate: there are 2 halves of Crayfish, Spaghetti with Crab-sticks and ham, Bacon with Broccoli, Fried prawn and fish with Wasabi sauce.

After we finished our dinner, me brought out the present me bought for my cha-bo-lang: A CD by High Society - Amor. The songs compiled in the CD consist mainly of Spanish songs.

Eh, sorry hor, me no buy flower for my cha-bo-lang, not because me not romantic but didn't want to be a sucker to pay so high a price for the flower.

Just when we went to bed, me saw a present and a card on my side of the bed. Ha, my cha-bo-lang also got present for me leh. It was a card and a CD.

Huh? CD also? We 2 really think alike.

Anyway, this is the Valentine Day's Card from my cha-bo-lang. (Sorry, contents written inside the card is not share-able).

The CD I got was a plain Music Collection with different types of songs and all the songs were very relaxing and soothing. (Although I did not listen to the CD while having tea).

lim peh kong wan liao

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Tuesday, February 14, 2006






其实有谁是不曾谈过恋爱的? 在遇上你之前,我也谈过恋爱,也同样没有结局。







2006 后记:



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Saturday, February 11, 2006

10 Signs You Are Getting Old

lim peh ka li kong

Lately, me have been reading too many heated issues over the bloggers' world and few bloggers have stopped/ going to stop blogging, quite xian leh.

Let me try to write something more enjoyable, at least to myself.

Old Beng has already stepped into his 40s thus can say I am already old but if you have the following points, then maybe age is catching up with you too.

Anyway, just for fun la

10 points showing that you ARE getting old

1. Start to nag.

2. Cannot remember what you did or ate yesterday but can remember the past issues of your life very clearly.

3. Cannot understand Primary School's Mathematics questions.

4. Cannot appreciate the New songs now, sometimes even consider them as noise and not music.

5. Still watching Hong Kong series drama instead of watching the Korean ones.

6. Insist that all must wear clothes that are RED in colour during Chinese New Year.

7. Still sending emails and not using MSN.

8. Cannot stay up late through the night like you used to be.

9. Like to recall the good old times of your life.

10. Realise that many "Actions" cannot be fulfilled with wife anymore (the less terok and not so siong ones still okable la).

Ha ha Old Beng me scored 10/10 thus bo bian must admit that Old Beng is indeed OLD

lim peh kong wan liao

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Monday, February 06, 2006

A Poem From A Friend

lim peh ka li kong

Me is so sotong because after a cyber friend wrote a poem "Sparks" to me long time ago but me didn't even know until lately.

Ling, thank you very much for the nice poem.

lim peh kong wan liao


"Monsieur Lim"


I remember the night
When you dreamt of me
The girly smile you put on my face
Simply made me a happy girl
I'll never, ever forget.

I remember the night
When you spoke
Your voice sounded like the calm waves
sweeping smoothly on the shore
Simply made all the children
running happily with your rhythm
I'll never, ever forget.

I remember the night
When you told me about voices
I simply sat dreamily and nodded
Would Lim Pek be different from Grandpa?
Sir, I'll never know.
It doesn't matter, you said.
I'll never, ever forget.

Not dreamin...I remember the night
The Joy you brought to others
Like Rainbow after Rain
With You plucking stars from the sky
for each one of them.
Does it matters if I don't understand?
No, for each stars you plucked
You gave them sparkles and You have given
me not the star..
but the Sparks.
I'll never, ever forget..
the Sparks.

Old Beng

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