lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Monday, September 25, 2006

26th September, 2006 - One Year Old

lim peh ka li kong

Suddenly me realised that me have been writing my blog for one year liao. My first posting was done on the 26 Sept 2005 (coincidentally it´s also a blogger friend Xishi´s Birthday - "Happy Birthday to you, Xishi" if you are reading my blog) and since then, have been writing my postings on and off and with this, the 172th posting of mine.

Looking back, me found that lots of nonsense were written and lame jokes, ghost stories were posted too.

In the beginning, me did care very much that the number of readers coming into my blog and really concerned on their views on my postings. Superficial right? Ya, that´s lim peh then.

Now me can declare that it doesn´t really matter anymore. I write, you like you read; You don´t like what I write, you can jolly well go shag yourself.

Through the consistence blogging, many names come by : many stay and many left. Old names, new names and some no names.

What the hack.

Many are faceless friends and many had met up with me and had great time together makan-ing and talking. (Yeah, 1 more on the way).

Blogging is very personal, or is it not so?

Me don´t think so; If it is so personal, then why share it openly to all and enable comments?

Lately have been thinking of stopping my blogging as me get a bit tired. My stories not so interesting, my jokes not so funny, my ghost stories not so scary, my Chinese articles not so standard.

The only unique-ness is "lim peh ka li kong" =_="""

1 Year Anniversary to my "lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲" and then??? So???

I wonder.....

lim peh kong wan liao


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Friday, September 22, 2006



不曾见过鬼魂的朋友总不相信这世上是有鬼存在着的,有些 “牙” 的朋友常说这世上根本没有鬼,鬼的存在只是妇人之见而已。









2006 后语:


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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Interesting Post

lim peh ka li kong

Saw this interesting posting in ZenEkz´s blog, must share with you.

Click here to read about it.

* Source from ZenEkz blog *

// Quote //


Guys drinks to forget about the girl...
Girls drinks to think back about that guy..

When guys are in love, they become poorer
But when girls are in love, they become prettier

Guys can forget, but cannot forgive...
Girls can forgive, but cannot forget..

Guys care most about the quantity of love...
But girls care most about the quality of love..

Guys break-up when they feel love from another Girl...
Girls break-up when they feel Separation from her man...

Guys feels curious towards all girls...
Girls feel curious towards the guys who are Interested in her..

When guys are heartbroken, they try to forget the girl by going out with other girls...
When girls are heartbroken, they try to find his Characteristics from other guys...

Guys wishes to be her first love....
And girls wishes to be his last love...

//ZenEkz - Well... think its true... to certain extent//

// Unquote //

lim peh kong wan liao


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Sunday, September 17, 2006

10 Un-Answerable Why

lim peh ka li kong

There are many questions in my mind and me seem not able to have satisfactory answers to each of them.

1) Why is it that everytime when you go to the office early, the Boss doesn't know; Just once when you were late, the Boss was already there waiting for you? (Similar case is that you did 100 things right, nobody knows, one mistake and the whole world knew)

2) Why is it that the 4D numbers which you have been buying for a long time only opens when you itchy backside let it go just this weekend?

3) Why is it that everytime you see other drivers driving on bus-lane without problem but just once when you do so, you will see a Traffic Police standing right there looking at your car plate numbers?

4) Why is that everytime when you are in a hurry, you will definitely meet with "Red Lights" at every traffic junction you come across and sure to be driving behind a "Gu" (Slow driving tortoise)?

5) Why is it that most of the electrical appliances you purchased start to turn faulty just after the warranty period?

6) Why is it that when you eat too much for lunch, you feel drowsy all afternoon, but when you eat a big meal in the evening, you stay awake all night?

7) Why is it that "white" will turn "black" when dirty and "black" will turn "white" when dirty? (Examples are your shoes, pants, bags etc)

8) Why is it that although now you are earning more than you used to be earning when you first started working, your current spending power seems to be the same without much savings?

9) Why is it that whenever you have some bonus from the Company, there sure to be some "unexpected emergency use" of the extra sum of money?

The last question from my little girl:-

10) Why is it that Daddy is bigger size than Mummy yet Mummy is the one with more power? =_="""

lim peh kong wan liao

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Tuesday, September 12, 2006



记得小时候,哭是我独一无二的绝招。双眼一弯、鼻子一皱、嘴巴一张,“ 哗!” 立刻晴天霹雳,非半个多小时不会终止。










2006 后语:

韩国男明星的哭功一流,偶尔瞄了一下查某人看的韩剧,发现权相宇原来是 “ 喊包王 ”,他的哭功无人能及,叹为观止。




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Monday, September 11, 2006

3 Unique Bloggers Writting About 10 Signs

lim peh ka li kong

Came across 3 bloggers writing some "10 Signs" in their blogs. Me read already also admire them very much cos Old Beng me is not able to come out with such Signs.

10 Signs of a Kid from a young girl, Sihui, click here to read more.

// Quote //

September 7, 2006

10 signs you’re still a kid

Filed under: Miscellaneous

1) Playing neop*** is a IN thing in your school.

2) You wear Disney princess costume to someone’s birthday party.

3) Your mom/maid washes your school shoes for you.

4) Your mom/maid packs your bag.

5) You never fail to go to the ‘toys’ department everytime you go shopping with your family members.

6) You guard your virtual money with your life.

7) You don’t bother about money issues.

8) You will feel terribly upset if you missed your weekly Pokem**

9) Everybody squats down to talk to you AND in a very sweet manner.

10) You love the purple dinosaur.

*P.S: the idea of the 10 signs thing is taken from old beng’s blog.

POSTED AT: 3:01 am

// Unquote //

10 Signs of a Malaysian from a funny Malaysian Blogger, Ang Gu Gu, click here to read more.

// Quote //

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

10 Signs You Are A Typical Malaysian

As i promise beng =) Heres my malaysian version. Hopefully i don write it badly as im not pro at writting signs like you.

10 Signs You Are A Typical Malaysian :

1) When driving always try to go first, traffic light havent turn green yet but you already horn like no tomorrow for cars to move when its green. Driving on bus and taxi lane to be fast.

2) When got accident or anything going on by the road, all the driver "ke po" will take few second or worst, stop car to see what happen. Then cause all the traffic jam around, not cause of accident but cause of drivers curiosity. But if got accident also, need help to go hospital or anything, no one bothers to help.

3) Always pretend rich by having good cars, great houses and big business but at the back all is under loan and mortgage from bank. Waiting to be pull back by bank. In another words, wanna look good on outside yet inside is nothing.

4)Anything happened only know how to be blame people and you always the right one. No one is correct and right except you.

5) Outside talk loud, can talk politic and talk bad everywhere anytime. But when police come to catch you for ISA ( Internal Security Act) or got any problem. First one to run and deny always you.

6) At food stall on the roadside, people charge you 5 ringgit for mee you say expensive and inreasonable price. When at shopping complex , people charge you 15 ringgit for normal mee
worse than roadside stall, you say its nice and standard.

7) Bring girls out all you pay, when go out with family or guy's friend..No money lar~

8) Everyday wait money drop from sky, massive betting on toto, magnum, damacai, jackpot, football, basketball , golf...anything as long can earn fast money. But when loan shark (Along) sight of you..

9) Professional big cannon (Ta Pao) , always talk big..... ( Thats why every state the muzeum in front got 2 big cannon)

10) You dress normally, but wear genuine rolex but people say you wear fake rolex. You wear nicely and look classy, but wear fake rolex yet people say you are wearing real rolex.

posted by Ang Gu Gu at 9/06/2006 10:20:00 PM

// Unquote //

10 Signs of a Wokaholic from a funny Singaporean Blogger, Mr Sibeh Sian, click here to read more.

// Quote //

Friday, September 08, 2006

The long and short about The Top Ten Signs That You Are Tuning Into A Workaholic

1) You start having meals in front of the computer. The office computer.

2) You start to think of your colleagues as family members. The type you fight with over inheritance.

3) You start hallucinating whether if your Boss’ hair is real midway through the very, very long meeting.

4) You start having crazy thoughts like “I can’t afford to take an MC because I have to finish this report.”

5) You start having even crazier thoughts like staying overnight at the office so that you can save on transport to work tomorrow.

6) You start canceling dinner dates because the instant mee at the pantry seems more appealing.

7) You start bathing at the attached bathroom at the office.

8) You start to think of the sounds made by the fax machine and copier as music.

9) You start to seriously consider investing in a foldable safari bed in the office.

10) You work through the night and only start to pack your bags at 8:30 in the morning.

I am very, very worried that I am turning into an workaholic because not only did the first nine points happened, I also worked through the night last night and is only leaving for work now.

I need a life :(

With Love,
Sibeh Sian
posted by Sibeh Sian @ 8:51 AM

// Unquote //

After reading all 3, me conclude that me is not a Workaholic Malaysian Kid.

lim peh kong wan liao

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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

10 Weird Signs Of Our World

lim peh ka li kong

Our world has become weird, weirder, weirdest. Don´t think so? Read on my friends, read on...

1) The Directors look more tan than our constructions workers. (Thanks to the golfing).

2) The males are more feminine and the females are more masculine. (Sometimes you can´t tell whether the person walking in front of you is a He or a She. Worst, you can´t tell even you are facing him / her)

3) The latest new accent for our young children is no longer Singlish but Filipino / Indonesian English. (The domestic maid is also your children´s teacher).

4) The people converse more via Computer than Phones.

5) You watch T.V. programmes via internet rather than the T.V. set.

6) Nobody can spell proper English anymore with the way they send SMS. (Think teachers nowadays have more headache marking students´ compositions).

7) You don´t need real talent to be a star. (Keep voting la).

8) It used to be "Places you Cannot smoke" but now it is "Places you CAN smoke". (Good news to non-smokers like lim peh).

9) It sometimes gives me the impression that I am in some province of China while walking in our neighbourhood. (They talk really loud).

10) It is now the "Child-dominated" family rather than the "Father-dominated" family. (Where to go for dinner? The child will say "MacDxxxx" and the parents will agree).

lim peh kong wan liao

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