lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Nephew Jia Hao's 18th Birthday

lim peh ka li kong

My nephew Jia Hao had just turned 18 on the 18th May, 2009. Yes, he is now officially a grown up.

After our dinner that night, lim peh went out to buy a Birthday cake for him.

Looking at Jia Hao who was looking at the cake, lim peh realised that I am indeed LKK liao (LKK = lao kok kok)
After he made a Birthday wish, Jia Hao started to blow off the candle flame.
Before he cut the cake, we called our maid to take a picture with him.
Finally, after a few photo shots, the Birthday boy cut the cake.
Yeah la, you are a real man and me old man :'(

Side note: Funny how time flies, lim peh still remembered I went to East Shore Hospital to see Jia Hao when he was borned 18 years ago, he was just a tiny little baby then and now he is taller than lim peh.


You can see more of him in my previous Batam Trip post

lim peh kong wan liao
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Monday, May 25, 2009

Old Market

lim peh ka li kong

One Sunday morning, me and my cha-bo-lang went to an old market at Telok Blangah Crescent Rise to have breakfast.

Actually hor, lim peh prefer old markets to new ones, probably the food tastes better and usually cheaper in price.

We usually go for our Weekend morning exercise strolls either at Botanical Gardens, Bukit Timah Hill, Mt Faber, West Coast Park, Kent Ridge Park etc and will then proceed to have our breakfast after that. (Eh... recently have slackened quite a bit liao, very long no exercise and cha-bo-lang has starting to nag...)

After having our breakfast in Telok Blangah market, my cha-bo-lang went to buy some flowers and although the flower stall wasn't very big, there were quite a fair bit of flowers.
While waiting for my cha-bo-lang to choose the flowers, lim peh noticed the ceilings of the market very "lock-khok".

The paint-work seemed to be peeling off and the sight wasn't very nice. I wonder why there's no maintenance for such an old market?

lim peh kong wan liao
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Thursday, May 21, 2009

2 Short Jokes

lim peh ka li kong

Received 2 short jokes, share share:


A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast-fed" she replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered.

She did.

He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."


A man asked a doctor,"how to live longer?"

Doc asked him,"Do you smoke?"

The man answered,"No."

"Do you drink?"


"You play mahjong?"


"You like sex?"


Doc scratched his head and said,"Then you want to live so long for what?"


lim peh kong wan liao
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Monday, May 18, 2009

Money Hard To Earn

lim peh ka li kong

lim peh's office is in Orchard Road, yeah, most ladies will love to work in Orchard Road cos they can go shopping during lunch time as well as after office hours.

lim peh also like to work in Orchard Road because during my lunch hours, lim peh can see many many chio-bu.

One afternoon, lim peh very free and got nothing much to do, I stood at my office window and snapped a picture using my "ou-tah" handphone and this is what I captured.

Can you see something?

lim peh saw something and sure felt grateful of the current job which I am holding.

I zoomed in my handphone and captured another photo (see circle).

There were come cleaners cleaning the outer windows outside the building. Wah-piang, so 牙烟.


Hard-Earned-Money! Earned-Hard-Money!


lim peh kong wan liao
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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

我们的 “爸爸牙”


在我们家门口种有两棵 “爸爸牙” 树。

经过一段时间,一棵总算结了几颗 “爸爸牙” 。(数了一数,有八颗之多)。

看着 “爸爸牙” 们从刚开始的A罩杯逐渐成长为E罩杯、甚至F罩杯;也开始慢慢从青绿色变成橙黄色。

我们打算等 “爸爸牙” 再熟一点才把它们摘下,却在一个深夜被人偷走那颗最熟最大的。




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Wednesday, May 06, 2009

An Incident 8

Timothy Lee:
Hello Stan, this is Tim. I tell you ah, I think my neighbour, Mr Tan, who has just moved into the unit beside me, behaves very funny lah. I think hor, his unit got ghost leh!

Every time I walked pass Mr Tan's house, all my hair on my neck will all stand up like mari gita.

One night when I walked pass his house after work, I saw Mr Tan sitting alone in his hall watching tv. I saw him talking to an empty seat beside him, it was as if he was talking to an invisible person.

Then got one time, when I was standing at my kitchen window smoking, I saw Mr Tan strolling alone in the park below our block. Again, he was like talking to someone walking beside him. At one point, he even stretched out his hand to his side while walking as though he was holding someone's hand.

Too many times, I have seen him behaving very weird. It is like he is having an invisible person living with him.

I once asked him if he lives alone, he yi-yi-ar-ar and finally said that his wife had died 2 years ago and now he is staying alone as he has no children. As Mr Tan is only 40+, I kay-poh asked him why he did not get another woman to be with him? He just gave me a sad look, shook his head and said nothing...

I don’t know leh but I find it really weird.

Please Stan, can you come down and pay Mr Tan a visit to try to solve the doubts I have on Mr Tan?


Stanley Choy:
My name is Stanley Choy. I am a journalist cum columnist. I write mainly on articles about the unexplained and yes I am rather popular as my ghost stories thrill many readers.

Timothy is my cousin. He is a kan-chiong spider. He called me one evening and told me his encounters with his new neighbour.

With such interesting issue, how can I give it a miss? So one Sunday, I paid Tim a visit.

Although I did not know which unit Timothy was referring to, I guess with my special ability, I could find out myself. When I walked pass 1 unit beside Tim’s unit, I felt a very strong chill sensation coming out from it and enveloped me. That must be the unit Tim was referring to.

My guess was right when Tim showed me the unit where Mr Tan lives.

While Tim and I were talking along the corridor, Mr Tan came out from his unit. Tim took the opportunity to introduce Mr Tan to me.

When I was talking to Mr Tan, I couldn’t help but kept staring behind his back. I knew it was rude not to look at someone when you were talking to but the shock I had then was far beyond any of my past experiences.

Mr Tan seemed to be uneasy when talking to us and he excused himself and walked away towards the lift.

Tim stared at my pale face and both of us went into his unit to discuss, behind closed door...


Timothy Lee:
Stan was very sporting and he came down to my house the next day after I spoke with him. While we were talking outside my unit, Mr Tan so happened to come out from his unit.

I immediately took the opportunity to introduce him to Stan.

I don’t know leh but when Stan was talking to Mr Tan, I could sense that both felt rather uneasy. After Mr Tan left, both Stan and I quickly went into my house and discussed...


Stanley Choy & Timothy Lee:
Tim : Stan, what happened huh? Why you looked so weird while talking to Mr Tan?

Stanley : Tim, everyone who looks at Mr Tan will be able to see that he is feeling very sad and weird. He’s wearing his sadness like a placard, how can one missed seeing it?

Tim: Ya meh? I don’t see leh. All I can tell is that he is behaving very weirdly.

Stanley : You know I have the special gift of seeing spirits.

Tim : Yeah, I know you have 阴阳眼. So did you see anything funny?

Stanley : I saw a beautiful lady standing behind but very closely to Mr Tan, I guess she was his late wife. She knew I could see her but she just couldn’t care much. Her eyes were showing so much affection and love to Mr Tan and I guess Mr Tan is aware of her existence...


Mr Tan:
Why can’t they just leave us alone? Why must people be so busybody? Guess I will have to move house again sooner or later.

Although many people had felt weird and suspicious, nobody will actually know what is happening except that Stan. I think he is one of the people with special ability to see things beyond the norm.

I know it is not right for Michelle to linger but she just can’t leave peacefully.

The first time I sensed Michelle’s presence after she passed away was the night I cried myself to sleep. In the midst of drifting in and out of sleep, I could feel Michelle caressing my face and wiping away my tears. Although I couldn’t remember seeing her, I knew it was her by the way she touched my face.

Then, Michelle came into my dreams every night. We talked, we laughed, we were extremely happy in my dreams. What is dream? What is reality? The feeling sensations were so real until I couldn’t tell whether it’s reality or dreams.

To me, it makes no difference cos reality or dream is not important. I enjoy being with Michelle again and I simply refuse to know the truth. Whether I am seeing her in reality or just in my dream makes no difference at all.

Slowly, Michelle was with me both in my reality life as well as in my dreams, I guess.

Every night, we will go to bed together and whenever I woke up in the middle of the night, I can feel her sleeping beside me. I can see her beautiful face and her body gradually gets warmer and warmer as days go by.

I can hug her, hold her and kiss her again. Her hair still smells the same to me; Her body warmth still lingers when we hug;

She is more like a real person but only I can see and feel her. The only inconvenience is when we go out together as I am not able to hold her hand nor have meals in the public as people will see me behaving weirdly.

The first incident which thrilled me was when we went to the seaside together. We walked along the beach in bare foot and when I turned around to look at the beach, there was only the track of my footsteps left printed on the beach. This first incident confirmed my doubt on Michelle’s existence.

Yes, I know what I am doing. We do no harm to anyone. We live in our own world, not disturbing anybody, just Michelle and I.

We live together as usual, just like before, living happily ever after...


More of my Incidents here.
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