lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Monday, April 30, 2007


Hello, darling, I have to go. I think someone is listening our conversation.

Hmmm, wonder how lim peh will look with a 爆炸头?

Love is everywhere!

New specs!?!?!

Nice figure, lol....


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Thursday, April 26, 2007










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Monday, April 23, 2007

A Snake In The House

lim peh ka li kong

Today early early, 天未光、狗未吠, sky also not yet fully bright and dog hasn´t even bark, the rapid knockings on my bedroom door woke lim peh up. It´s our maid knocking our bedroom door and she told us a shocking piece of news, "got snake in the house, sir."

Me quickly rushed out to the kitchen to take a look to see if it really was a snake or maybe just an earthworm.

Snake (Oh-oh, seen by them liao)


Earthworm? (Not me la, me playing happily in the park)

When me took a look, nabeh, really got a snake but luckily it was still only a baby snake, the full body length of about 10 inches. (The body is black in colour with a triangular head and some white lines around its body)

lim peh very clever one, took a pair of normal chopsticks to try to pick the baby snake by its neck. (Me always see on National Geographic Channel, the experts always catch hold of the BIG snake easily, bare-handed somemore).

While lim peh was concentrating hard trying to catch the baby snake with the pair of chopstick, a roar hit me from behind, "Lao Beng, what are you doing? Catching a poisonous snake with a pair of stupid chopsticks? Kiang tio hor, mai keh-kiang." My cha-bo-lang was standing behind me.

She took a pair of metal tongs from the drawers and while she tried to pick up the baby snake, the snake was agitated and numerous times, the snake stood on its belly and attacked the tongs. The baby snake actually moved around rapidly and stood up with a "I-am-ready-to-bite-you" posture.

Luckily, within few minutes, cha-bo-lang caught hold of the baby snake and put it into a plastic bag and told our maid to send it the the nearby Police Post.

"Lao Beng, what are you thinking ah? Catching a cobra-look-alike snake with a pair of chopsticks!!"

"Huh? Cobra meh? I thought just normal baby snake only what."

15 minutes after our maid left, a police officer called me and informed me that they will be contacting the authotiries from the Zoo to collect the baby snake.

Me informed the police officer to do a check around our area, cos when there is a baby snake, there sure to be a mother snake somewhere around and snakes normally give birth to more than 1 baby.

As a matter of fact, me and my cha-bo-lang once saw a snake (about 2 - 3 feet long) in the park when we went for our night stroll after our dinner about a year ago. Maybe that was 1 of its babies.

lim peh kong wan liao

** UPDATE : We were informed by the Authority from the Zoo that the baby snake which we caught was a Wolf snake also known as a House snake. It is not venomous and usually afraid of people and will run away upon seeing human beings. **

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Monday, April 16, 2007

The Computer Of My Time

lim peh ka li kong

** Before going any further, lim peh still short of Daoraemon magnets, please read the post after this one *

All of you know that Old Beng me is an old uncle liao BUT do you know that during my schooling days, students then also have their own "Computer"?

Let me present to you, the Computer we used then:

Let me also share some of the meanings of the Computer terms used then.
Memory was something you lost with age.
An application was for employment.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was a piano.
A web was a spider's home.
A virus was the flu.
A CD was a bank account.
A hard drive was a long trip on the road.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived.
And if you had a 3 inch floppy...... just hoped nobody ever found out!!

lim peh kong wan liao

Note: Received the above email from a friend.

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Friday, April 13, 2007

7 Eleven Doraemon Magnets

lim peh ka li kong

After getting more than the usual groceries and magazines from 7-Eleven (with the size of the wallet getting thinner) due to the cat, we are still not able to collect the complete set.

Countries of magnets which we are still short of:

Special Edition: China Town (This one very hard to get leh)
Special Edition: Suntec City (This one also same same, hard to get too)

Special Edition: Esplanade
Special Edition: Orchard Road
The Nederlands
United States

Countries which are available for exchange:
South Pole;
Special Edition: Singapore Skyline;
Special Edition: Singapore Changi Airport

I must thank the following kind-hearted people who had given me their magnets (including paying the postage stamps out of their own pockets just to post to me)

Elydia: Thanks for safe-keeping the magnet and posted it to me despite busy juggling between your work and studies.

Simple Guy: Thanks for paying the postage and took the effort to mail the magnets to me.

Ms Rain: Thanks for giving me the magnets and we don't even know each other.

Tracy: The first lady who offered to exchange the magnet with me.

Carcar: A real lucky girl who exchanged 4 magnets which we are short of.

Ana: Her friendly hubby, Dave, drove all the way to meet me just to exchange 2 magnets.

Zhengning: Thanks for keeping an eye and exchanging information with her friends to help me.

Lao Hero: Thanks for your kind thoughts but like you said TMD how can no stocks? Guess they saw you decent cum 斯文, bluff you; You really 让老人骗, 给小孩 “仙”

Gilbert: Kam siah you for purposely purchased your susu at 7 Eleven just to get us a magnet.

Champion Chen, AKKueh and Sihui: Thanks for your offering.

Horny Bitch: I am still waiting for your mail Received liao, kam siah :)

lim peh kong wan liao


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Monday, April 09, 2007


lim peh ka li kong

Me received an email that day from 1 of my friends telling me that he saw a photo which resembled someone greatly.

When me open the attachment, me was like =_________="""

See for yourself la.

lim peh kong wan liao

PS: We have not collected the complete set of the Doraemon magnets from 7-Eleven store yet, will continue to update shortly. Anybody with extras can still leave a comment for exchange :)


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