lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Early CNY 捞起

lim peh ka li kong

Last night, me finally met up with Ipromise for dinner since he came back from China. This man ah, very the busy one, fly in, fly out until so difficult to catch hold of him. Thus once he called for a dinner, me was more than glad to oblige. Sure la, got dinner how can miss?

Anyway, it was sort of a last minute invitation and we met at Traders Hotel. We were expecting to meet a mutual friend of ours, a lady with a pet dog. (I was a little nervous as I have never met her in person before).

When me reached there, Ipromise was already sitting in the lobby, very busy looking around. Hmmm, was he looking out for me or just bio-ing the girl girl? A short while later, the lady with a pet dog arrived but of course, without her dog this time round.

We had our dinner at Cafebiz and all 3 of us settled for the buffet dinner. There was a wide variety of food, Eastern, Western, Japanese, nice soup, ice-cream etc. (Thinking of it now makes me drool).

What surprised us was that there was "Yu-Sheng" 鱼生 available. 3 of us had our early CNY "捞起", the first before the CNY, Woohoo. We 捞 the 鱼生 high high and me kept saying "步步高升" and "Salary High High"; Lady only said "Pretty Always", ha ha.

3 of us started to eat at around 7:45 pm and did not stop until probably around 10:20 pm. OMG!! 2 and a half hours? Think we were not aware of the time and we ate and talked, talked and ate until the waiter told us that they were closing the buffet section.

It's always fun and interesting to meet people you have not met before but knew them only via the Cyber World.

As Old Beng has the characteristic nature of a Cinderella, I had to bid good bye to 2 of them.

It was really nice to have a sumptuous dinner as well as the great companion of friends who are able to chat openly.

It was a great night as Old Beng was accompanied by the knowledgeable man, Ipromise as well as a pretty, gorgeous lady.

lim peh kong wan liao

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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

新年快乐

新年即将来临
献上俺的十二子女图向各位拜年
一鼠至十二猪
一个不漏



* 图画取自 “護國金塔寺” 贺年卡

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Monday, January 23, 2006

共勉之

你无法控制生命的长短
但你能支配它的深阔度
你无法控制五官的轮廓
但你能支配表情的流露
你无法控制天气的变幻
但你能支配心情的喜怒
既然你可以掌管由你取决的一切
何须耿耿于怀那些无法控制的杂務
共勉之

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Friday, January 20, 2006

狮城怪谈 (六)

(旧著)

=====

电梯,是组屋区的升降工具,每个居民在一天里至少会使用它,然而,当你在夜深人静乘搭电梯时,忽然感到一片阴深深,仿佛整个世界都已停顿下来,那你会有怎样的感受呢?

=====

电梯惊魂

好累!

今晚的工作量真是多到惊人,加班加到连晚餐也没时间吃。

“咕。。。咕。。。”一想到还没吃晚餐,肚子马上抗议。看了看表,已是凌晨十二点半了。

走进我居住的组屋楼下时,一个人影也没有。

当我掏出锁匙打开信箱时,电梯旁正趴着一只黑猫。

只见它的身体硬梆梆的,一双眼睛以惊疑的目光直瞪着我。

从来就不曾喜欢猫,它们的眼神总给我不安的感觉,总是那么阴森森的。

在我迈步走向它时,它以最快的速度跑开了。

按了电梯钮,半倚靠着墙壁,等待着它下降。

半响,电梯门才“吱。。。吱”的慢慢向旁移开。

这扰人心灵的刺耳“吱吱”声在深夜听来分外响亮。

不知觉中,我除下眼镜,紧锁着双眉,以拇指与食指捏着鼻梁、按摩着。

当我的手指按着17楼的钮时,在朦胧中见到一人影从正要关闭的电梯口闪了进来。

由于我没戴眼镜因此没看清楚,只知道进来的是一个长发女郎。

由于当时的我确实很疲累,也就没去注意站在背后的她。

不知怎么的,一股诡异的寒气正慢慢的渗透出来,使得在这个小小的空间里的我手足渐渐冰冷。

只觉得背后的长发常轻轻地抚扫着我的颈部,而那阵寒气更冷了。

当电梯正徐徐上升时,我多希望有勇气转过头去看看,却不知怎么的总提不起勇气。

不行,我一定得看看她。

我掏出香烟含在口中,然后从口袋里拿出打火机。

我装着不小心的把手中的打火机掉在地上,然后漫不经心的弯下腰去拾。

在拾起打火机的当儿,我稍微往后一望。

我所看到的是一双穿着白色长裙和白布鞋的腿,而令我感到震惊的是那一双脚并没触地。

刹那间,我仿佛感觉到整个世界停顿了下来,我身体里的血液也停止流动。

只觉得头皮发麻,双脚发软,口中的香烟也掉了下去。

天啊!

我竟然与一鬼魂共处于在这个这么小的空间里头。

我咬着自己的舌头,极力迫使自己不叫出任何声音。

我已经无法站立了,我倚靠在墙壁,一点办法也没有。

心里祈祷着,赶快开门,放我出去!

一秒钟仿佛一世纪那么长,仿佛我将会永远被困在这电梯里。

电梯震动了一下,停了下来。

啊,总算抵达17楼了。

“吱。。。吱”,那刺耳的门声又再响起。

啊,我已不再觉得它讨厌,而是世上最美妙的声音。

当电梯门开了之后,我应该以最快的速度飞奔出去,但双腿却不争气。

我只能扶着墙壁,以抖着的脚步走出电梯;我只感觉到从不曾有过的恐惧。

想到我的背后正有一鬼魂瞪着我,不禁心跳加速,只觉得天旋地转。

好不容易才能走出电梯,这时才再听到背后传来电梯的关门声。

我提不起勇气回头一看。

我怕见到“她”就站在那儿瞪着我,我极力强逼自己不去想“她”,却一直不停地想着。

好不容易才到达我的家门口。

我使劲地按着门铃,不停懈的按着;仿佛想借着刺耳的电铃声掩盖自己恐惧的心情。

当父亲带着惺松的睡眼怒气冲冲的开门时,我整个人直扑了进去,直把父亲吓了一大跳。。。

x x x x x

隔天早上,父亲与大姐都紧张兮兮地追问我昨晚发生了什么事,为何撞撞跌跌地回来?

当我把一切告诉他们后,父亲与大姐的反应都不一样。

老爸叫我以后别太晚回来,有空就去庙堂烧一烧香,求平安。

大姐则当作笑话来看,还讽刺我别胡思乱想,说什么世上根本没有鬼。

我对大姐的讽刺一笑置之,我也没必要与她争论下去。大姐的为人就是如此,她的脾气特别固执,讲多无谓。

直至有一晚深夜,她迟归。。。。。

x x x x x

当大姐在十一点许走进组屋时,见到一名老婆婆正在等电梯。

不一会儿,电梯来了。

当电梯门开了之后,大姐跟随着老婆婆进了电梯里。

大姐按了不17楼,刚想转过头去问那老婆婆时,那老婆婆已经开口说道:“5楼。”

大姐替她按了5楼后也就没再出声。

当电梯到5楼时,老婆婆慢慢地走了出去。在她离去之前,她回过头对大姐笑了一笑。

只见她那满脸皱纹的脸露出少许的几颗牙齿,令大姐心里打了一个寒颤,心里直觉得骇惊。

当电梯继续上升时,大姐才松了一口气。

电梯升至9楼时,停了一下。

然后,电梯门慢慢地打开了。

只见那老婆婆正站在电梯口,慢慢地走了进来。

大姐被这 “突如其来” 的老婆婆吓得连连后退;直撞到了背后的墙壁也不知道。

大姐吓得半瘫痪在那儿,还极力后退,但试想电梯里能有多大的空间?

大姐吓得流出眼泪,只差没撒尿。

当电梯来到13楼时,老婆婆走了出去,留下大姐一人独自在电梯里放声痛哭。

好不容易,电梯总算抵达17楼。

当电梯门开时,大姐以发软的手脚连走带爬的挣扎着出来。

大姐只爬了一半便僵在那儿,一双眼睛睁得差点掉了出来。

那可怕的老婆婆正站在那儿瞪着她!

大姐发出了一声“惊天动地”的喊叫声后便昏迷了过去。

当老爸与我冲了出去时,只见大姐昏倒在电梯处。

邻居们也纷纷被那一声惊叫声吓得全跑出来探个究竟。

老爸与我把大姐扶进屋里时,邻居们也个个回自己的屋里去,走廊再度恢复原有的寂静。

经过这件事后,大姐再也不敢轻言说这世上根本没鬼。

大姐每晚回来还是照样乘搭电梯,只不过总会叫我或者老爸在组屋楼下等她罢了。

如果我加班迟归,也只好硬着头皮乘搭电梯。

不乘搭电梯,难道要我爬楼梯上17楼?

我没这能耐。

电梯总是得乘搭的,谁叫我住在组屋里,更何况是17楼呢?

每次乘搭电梯时都心惊胆跳,迟早会精神衰弱,甚至于崩溃。

看来只能尽早找较低层的组屋搬了。。。。。

(故事六完)

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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

百年之后

(旧著)

常见到一些朋友为名为利,把自己忙得象个机械人似的。日做夜做,辛苦不在话下,仿佛生存着的意义就是工作而已。

更见到一些象 “情圣” 的朋友,一生似乎只为了爱情而活,生活等于爱情。

也有些人做事总是顾虑到别人会怎么看他、说他、批评他的一切所作所为。

其实一生中,每个人只能活一次,一次而已!如果一生只为生活而奔波;只为爱情而活;为他人的看法而活,那他的一生可说是浪费掉了。

有钱无钱、有爱无爱、他人的看法其实都不重要。百年之后,你我他皆成古人。

给你赚到一百万一千万,或只给你足够的钱,百年之后还有什么?

让你找到真爱,生活在一起又怎样?百年只后还不是只剩零?

万物一切由零开始、由零而终。

为名为利为爱情至少还有个目标,如果活着却处处担心他人的眼光,那才是最悲的。

有些人更是可怜,总是担心着明天会怎样,担心这个,担心那个,整天活在担忧的阴影中,真不敢想象日子是怎样过的。

你庸庸碌碌过一生也好,开开心心过一生也好,到头来还是同一个结局。所谓 “到头这一身,难逃那一日”。

我们所拥有的一切东西与记忆,都将在我们死后消失,不留丝毫的痕迹。

有或没有、得与失重要吗?在百年后都一样消失。

人只来到这世上一次而已,最主要是自己要开心。凡事退一步想,生活一定开心多了。

最好能做到:

得即高歌失即休
多愁多恨亦悠悠
今朝有酒今朝醉
明日愁来明日愁

=====
2006 后语:
重读,惊觉原来我是一个乐观的悲观主义者 (Optismistic Pessimist),一直都是。。。

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Friday, January 13, 2006

Girl Girl

lim peh ka li kong

Old Beng me can consider myself very good in seeing cha-bo especially after all these years of seeing girl girl.

Been around for so many years and have been seeing girl girl since my first hair developed.....above my lips la you perverts, I can safely say that me have seen many many different types of girls, and my appreciation on girls changes with my age.

When me was very young during puberty time, the MUST have factors of a girl to attract me is that she must have long straight hair and big round eyes. Think I was influenced greatly by comics as most of the female characters are all long-haired big-eyes girl. My dream-girl at that time was none other than the Japanese singer Akina - 中森明菜.

When me reached 20, my taste changed from a young innocent boy to a lustful young man. Long hair or not, eyes big or not all not important, what was most important then was the assets must be big. What internal beauty lasts longer while external is just so superficial. Yeah right, young man at 20s dont really care about inner beauty la. Seeing is believing. I admit I was like that when Old Beng was a young Beng, so?

Then when Old Beng reached mid 20s, my taste changed from voluptuous creatures to sexy, stylist woman. My idol then was none other than Kwan Zhi Lin - 关芝琳. My buddy 关人隐士 and I even agreed that she was the number 1 mistress. (Don't know why only classified as Number 1 mistress and not wife).

When me reached my 30s, my taste changed just a bit and Kwan Zhi Lin was out due to her age and my attention diverted to women who are real sexy, not just body but the charismas released from them. Shu Qi 舒琪, Angelina Jolie and Christy Cheung 钟丽缇 were my dream girls. (Yee? Coincidentally all three are having very good vital stats).

Now that I stepped into my 40s, I suddenly cannot think of any celebrities whom I can associate with the word SEXY. Saw Christy Cheung 钟丽缇 on TV that day and though she is still gorgeous but think my taste already changed.

In fact, no woman seems to be able to get me interested again liao, apart from my cha-bo-lang, as a wife is a person once confirmed it's already done. No returning, no exchanging and no rejecting of item whatsoever can be arranged after acceptance.

You vowed
You signed
You kow-tow
You sighed.

lim peh kong wan liao

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

5 Secrets To A Perfect Relationship

lim peh ka li kong

Me received an email from a friend will like to share the contents with all of you.

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to
you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be
with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.

* Source from Gilbert *

lim peh kong wan liao

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Saturday, January 07, 2006

现代恋爱史

(旧著)

现代人的爱情观是怎样的?一斤爱情等于一斤面包?

生活在这个快节奏的都市里,我想罗蜜欧与梁山伯早已绝迹。谈恋爱需要很多很多的时间与精力,有多少人会为恋爱而活?

谈恋爱根本是一件很奢侈的事情,也是一件很累人的事情,有谁还会为爱情而投入全部的精力?十七、八岁的年轻人或许做得到吧。

现代人谈恋爱都喜欢速战速决,谁还有精力跑上它七八年的马拉松恋爱的路程?电影《时光倒流七十年》里的男主角所给予的痴心是遥不可及的天方夜谭。扬过也只是个古人罢了,我想世上如真有小龙女,大多数的男人都会变成扬过。

但,小龙女呢?

现代恋爱中的人的共同语言:“合则来、不合则去。”

拥有财富、房子和汽车,才是真正拥有着的,最起码你触摸得到。

爱情?看不到摸不到;有的只是感觉,而那感觉却象是不存在的,总是那么虚无缥缈。

或许天下之大对我来说,只是个井口,可能有朝一日我或许会有机会跳出井口,而眺望得更远、更乐观。

又或许罗蜜欧、梁山伯与扬过等类似的人就在井口外,和在井里的我是两个空间的人。

井口里和井口外根本就是两个极端的世界,就象现实和梦幻一般。梦幻里的爱情就象小说里的故事一般美丽,现实中的爱情,哈、哈。

而大多数的现代人就在井里,谈那现实无比的恋爱。伴着我们的就只有俗不可耐的现实爱情,不管你满意与否,也不管你喜欢与否。

就是如此这般,Take It Or Leave It。你我还有别的选择吗?

一是不谈恋爱,一是要了那低俗的现代爱情,那是多可悲的事实。而那可悲的事实,却每天都在发生着。

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Thursday, January 05, 2006

Count-Down by No Eye See See

lim peh ka li kong

Me read this latest blog written by no eye see see on his encounter at Orchard Road on New Year Eve and my mind was still fresh with the news I saw on TV yesterday about the same incident. The only difference is that TV news did not show much of the behaviours of the foreign workers but no eye see see put everything he came across in words and presented it to us raw, real raw.

As much as I don't encourage violence, I asked myself what I would have done if I were there? Think I would definitely join-force with no eye see see and gave those jerks a taste of my eagle and tiger punches. RRRRRRRROOOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

As usual, his blog is vulgar but think I would also use such language if I were there too.

Think this year end count down, Orchard Road will only have Males.

Read his blog here.

* Source from No Eye See See's blog *

lim peh kong wan liao

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Tuesday, January 03, 2006

10 Jokes For The New Year

lim peh ka li kong

2006, a new year, what better way to start it with some jokes? Enjoy...

==
"I got rid of that rear noise in the car."
"How?"
"I made her sit in the front with me."

==
Marriage has its good side. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self-restraint and many other qualities you wouldn't need if you stayed single.

==
Education is what you get from reading the fine print.
Experience is what you get from not reading it.

==
"Have you ever been cross-examines before?" asked the judge.
"Yes your honour," replied the defendant, "I'm a married man."

==
Funny how man blames fate for all accidents, yet claims full responsibility for a hole in one.

==
It was so cold the other day that the local flasher was seen describing himself to a woman.

==
Marriage begins as you sink in his arms, and ends with your arms in the sink.

==
"Education has failed the younger generation," said the businessman, "our survey shows that as many as 40% can't read, another 40% can't write and the other 30% can't add up."

==
He had a stereo system in his car for years. His wife in the front and her mother in the back.

==
On quiet nights, when he is alone, Fred runs their wedding video backwards, just to watch himself walk out of the church a free man.

==
* All jokes taken from the book "The Little Book Of Jokes" - Publisher : Robert Frederick Ltd

lim peh kong wan liao

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2006

During the crossing of year 2005 to year 2006, my wife and I were doing our Special Count-Down at Kong Meng San (光明山).

We reached the temple at 6.30 pm and with us were my 2 sisters-in-law, 2 nephews and a niece. As we were there doing the Special Count-Down before, we have no problem locating the venue.

The count-down with the Monks was, as usual, at midnight but there was a great event at Kong Meng San (光明山) whereby the Venerable Monk from Tibet was leading people to chant "Om Mani Padme Hung" for a hundred million times known as "The 100 Million MANI Recitation Retreat : 一亿观音心咒襌修"

There were many people who took part in the Retreat and many were there for a full cycle of 7-days chanting "Om Mani Padme Hung" from morning to night. As both my wife and I are working, we were only able to join in the Retreat during the last night.

We sat in the big hall with many other people and later all of us were blessed by the Verenable Tibet Monk at the end of the Retreat when all of us line-up in a single row and were led to him.

The session ended at around 10 pm and we had some refreshment before the commencement of the Special Count-Down. The Special Count-Down event of the Temple every year is the traditional sounding of the Big Bell - A total of 108 strokes (鸣钟一百零八次). In fact, the 108 sounding of bells are practiced in temples all over the world.

As time tickled nearer and nearer to 12 mid-night, more and more people gathered around the Temple's Big Bell waiting patiently for the main event of the year.

At 12 o'clock sharp, the Monk sound the Bell for 108 times and we made our wishes during the event. After the completion of the 108 strokes, we wished the people around us a Happy New Year.

2005 is over and 2006 unfolds itself ahead of us.

With full contentment, peaceful mind and warmth in our hearts, we headed home with smiles on our faces.

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