lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

The Ways To Win A Woman's Heart

lim peh ka li kong

Old Beng me sometimes see a couple, the cha-bo very swee, sexy, good figure and very chio some more and then when me look at the man besides her, Wa-lau, not good looking leh, in fact ugly is a better word to describe him.

Sometimes, it really makes me wonder why some men can have pretty women as wife?

Before I got married, I always wondered how then can a man attract a woman, in other words, what factors and characteristics must a man have in order to be able to attract a woman?

In my shallow opinion, I could only think of the following points:-

  1. Handsome Face
  2. Rich
  3. Muscular Body
  4. Able to Sweet Talk
  5. A good Cook
  6. Musical Talent - Able to play guitar, piano, violin etc
  7. Able to compose songs
  8. Big Expensive Car
  9. Humorous
  10. Smart
  11. Caring

Hmmn, let me see when I was young, how many of the above points do I have:-

1. Handsome Face : Me no got handsome face, Hum-sup face can or not? FAIL

2. Rich : Young time where got money? Always money not enough, in fact gonna give tuition to earn some pocket money. FAIL

3. Muscular Body : Only got one big round muscle which is the cluster from 6-pack but oei don't play play hor, not easy to maintain. FAIL

4. Sweet Talk : Old Beng me start my conversation with "lim peh ka li kong" and end with "lim peh kong wan liao", consider sweet bo? FAIL

5. Good Cook : Can only cook instant noodle some more not nice one. FAIL

6. Musical Talent : Zero knowledge on musical instruments. Play instrument? Play marble and catch spiders clever la. FAIL

7. Compose songs : Write compositions also got problem liao, how to compose songs? FAIL

8. Big Expensive Car : Young time where got money to buy car, big bus can or not? FAIL

9. Humorous : Self-proclaimed that I very humorous one and always try to tell joke but always sure kena back-fire and became the joker where the joke was on me (Just like Bee Gees song) FAIL

10. Smart : Don't think so, average IQ only.

11. Caring : Hmmn maybe I was caring towards my cha-bo-lang, must ask her later.

So, looking at all 11 points, think Old Beng me maybe only got 1. Sigh!!!

But I think in a relationship, it is the chemistry that counts and nothing else la.

lim peh kong wan liao

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Sunday, November 27, 2005

A Touching Story

Read one of the posting in a cyber friend's blog about a touching story, Just thought of sharing with all of you.

A touching storey

* Source from Dewi's blog *


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Friday, November 25, 2005

My Trip To Madrid and Paris

lim peh ka li kong

In February 2005, me and my cha-bo-lang went to Madrid, Spain and Paris, France.

Wa-piang, I tell you ah, we left Singapore and flew to Paris Airport and transferred another flight to Madrid Airport, a total flying time of 13 long hours.

We reached Paris Airport in the early morning 0625 hours and the temperature was about 5 degree Celsius.

After the transit to Madrid, Spain which we reached there at 1145 hrs. The Madrid Airport was rather rundown as compared to Paris Airport and when me and my cha-bo-lang walked out from the customs, we were not checked at all. (Of course la, we look so decent one).

The weather in Madrid was even colder than Paris, I reckoned it was about 2 degree Celsius at noon time. Can you imagine noon time was 2 degree celsius, how about early morning and at night?

After we took a cab to our hotel, which cost me Euro 25 dollars (equivalent to S$50) for a short distance trip of about 15 minutes, we left our luggages in our hotel room and out we left to explore Madrid and at the same time to grab for something to eat.

It was really cold and the portion of the food was very big and the best snacks in Madrid is none other than Calamari (fried squid). Until today, I have not come across anywhere which served Calamari as good as those I tasted in Madrid.

After we had our big portion of snacks, we continued to explore Madrid. It was snowing and gosh, how I loved snow. We saw a few children running and playing and screaming when the snow came down.

My cha-bo-lang told me it must be something not common to snow in Madrid since the children were overjoyed with the snow and true enough, we later learned that indeed Madrid had not snowed like that day for the past 10 - 12 years. So were we lucky or what?

During our stay in Madrid, we visited lots of beautiful parks, castles, churches but we missed the "Bull-fighting" as it was not the season for it. Thank goodness as we can't bear to watch the cruelty done onto the poor bull.

The biggest park in Madrid is none other that the "Parque del Retiro" which has 130 hectares of woodland which form a green, tree-clad (more than 15,000 trees) island in the middle of an asphalt sea.

Another place not to be missed is the Plaza Mayor and along that stretch, there are many many shops selling all types of items.

We also went to the famous Sunday Market in "Rastro" and spent a whole Sunday there. It was so packed but we had a good time bargaining on the items we liked.

One of the beautiful castle we visited in Spain. Me and my cha-bo-lang had a snowball war there.

We had our dinner in the oldest restaurant in Madrid, Botin Restaurant. The famous author of "The Old man and the Sea" Mr ErnestHemingway always had his meal there and at a specific table at the corner of the restaurant and commented that it was the best restaurant in the world. (海明威 --- 老人与海) .

The night scene in Madrid is the best in the world, no photo or picture can show its beauty, not even 50% of the actual beauty. I tell you ah, if you want a girl to fall for you, the night scene in Madrid so bo-beh-chow one, it's so romantic and just awesome.

The only set-back during our stay was the cold weather, at night it was below zero degrees.

A loving couple freezing in a cold night but still have to pose for photo taking. The cold temperature was worsen by the constant gust of wind.

Although we missed the bull-fighting (without regrets) but we did not miss the Spanish traditional dance - Flamenco dance.

At a substantial fees, we had a sumptuous dinner and got to watch the famous dance.

The dance was good but the cha-bo were not very chio though, the leading male dancer was more stylo than the female dancers.

Good Food, Nice Wine, With Loved One = A Very Happy Man.

After our 2 weeks stay in Madrid, we proceed to Paris. Paris, I presume is everybody's dream land for its romantic feeling.

We were there, and visited the main places of interests like Musee de Louvre (罗浮宫), The Eiffel Tower (巴黎铁塔), Arc de Triomphe (凯旋门), watch the famous cabarets "Moulin Rouge" and took a boat ride through the heart of Paris on the famous Bateaux Parisiens. Starting from the Eiffel Tower, the cruise follows the left bank of the Seine to the Finance Ministry at Bercy, then returns to the Eiffel Tower along the right bank, passing by most of the famous and beautiful buildings in Paris.

To be honest, both me and my cha-bo-lang prefer Madrid to Paris. Anyway, preference is always very subjective, ultimately it is not the "where" you go but the "who" you go with.

Inside Musee de Louvre Museum looking out of the Pyramid glass roof.

The famous portrait of Mona Lisa

The BIG face and Old Beng

Women's best pal - LV Bags (Anybody interested can carry them back, provided you have the strength)

Arc de Triomphe

The Eiffel Tower lights up and flickers at night in the interval of every hour for about 10 minutes. It is much more beautiful than the pic.

Eiffel Tower from far

The quality of the photo shots did not turn out very well cos both me and my cha-bo-lang are no pro photographers but the beautiful sceneries we have seen are always in our memories..... forever.

lim peh kong wan liao


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Thursday, November 24, 2005

狮城怪谈 (四)















x x x x x












x x x x x










x x x x x



























x x x x x





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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Lau Hero's 1st Chinese Blog

lim peh ka li kong

My blogger friend, Mr Lao Hero, did his first Chinese blog which I personnally find it better than his English ones.

Since he mentioned about Old Beng in it, I shall link it here for all to read.
* source from "lau hero" *

He also talked about Qin Shi Huang and Spinnee. Think he can write more of his opinion on other bloggers too.

Lau hero, keep writing.

lim peh kong wan liao


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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Old Beng at the Car Park

lim peh ka li kong

Last weekend, me and my cha-bo-lang went to Suntec City to do some pre-Christmas shopping. Siong man, must buy many X'mas presents, pocket gonna burn one big hole again liao.

While driving along AYE, me suay suay kena driving behind a "Ku" mar-say-lee (Tortoise driver). Wa-piang, can you believe it, driving at express way lane 1 doing at 60 only. Wa-Kaoz, me beamed the driver but the tortoise never care my beaming and continue to drive like his grandfather's road, just like a tortoise - slow and steady.

I mean, yeah, there are always some very careful drivers la but please, doing only 60 on lane one express way?

I think every time I very suay, always kena the following situation:- when I am in a hurry, I sure meet slow drivers and at every traffic light I reach sure to turn red; when I am not in the hurry, the whole journey hyper smooth, no slow drivers, no traffic jam and no red light always green light;

Anyway, after a while I knew the mar-say-lee driver would not give way, me bo-bian had to overtake him and while me overtook the mar-say-lee, me took a glimpse at the driver. Wa-lau eh, old uncle driving, the face look a bit like the famous MAD magazine character but the passenger sitting beside the driver was a very chio-bu.

Many times, me always see the man of a couple very fat, ugly and old while his partner very young, sweet, pretty, good figure and hyper chio. Why like that ah? Is it that's why men must study high high and get a high high pay job then will automatic able to tackle chio-bu? (Think when people see me and my cha-bo-lang together, they probably also have the same thinking: 鲜花牛粪 , beauty and the beast, ha ha.)

After a while, we reached Suntec and me drove into the basement carpark. I think Suntec Car park is one of the biggest one in town with many many parking lots but then hor, every time me go there, sure very difficult to find car park lot leh.

When me drove into the car park after the barrier, me saw a BMW 7-series waiting at the side so me over-take it and drove along the whole stretch of car park lots.

Those who had been to Suntec will know that the Car park stretches a long way from one end to the other. While I almost reached the end of basement one, me saw a car coming out from a parking lot. Heng ah, so lucky to be able to get a lot so quickly.

After me reversed into the lot and got down from our car, me saw the BMW 7-series which was waiting near the Car park entrance driving very fast towards us. When it reached us, the driver, a young man came out of his BMW and told me to get out from the lot cos he had been waiting for it for half an hour liao. The conversation between us went like this:-

"Hello, uncle, I wait for this parking lot very long already, how can you just come and take my lot?"

"Hello mister, what take your lot? You were waiting near the entrance there and from there to here is like 200 to 300 metres apart, what do you mean I take your lot?"

"I waited from the starting point of the Car park lots and the whole stretch also "chorp" by me so you cannot park."

"Huh? You mean you waited right from there some 200 over metres away and all the lots on this level are assuming under your reserve? Nobody can park except you?"

"Yeah, you are right. You have to come out and let me park."

I couldn't help but started to laugh until my tears also come out. What nonsense was he saying? Just because he was waiting near the entrance of the Car park, the whole stretch of parking lots are under his waiting?

"Hello mister, you are not been rational, where got people like that "chorp" parking lot one? Try waiting a bit longer la."

"If you don't move your car, don't blame me if later you found your car kena vandalised."

"Ha ha, you got guts, you try lor. One more dent or not makes no different to it. Anyway, young man, it's is very unreasonable to claim all the parking lots are "chorp" by you just by simply saying you are waiting there so the whole stretch also under your chorp."

After saying so, me and my cha-bo-lang walked away. What kind of crap was that, come on, if I took a parking lot near him, I am unreasonable but a far distance of 200 over metres away from where he was waiting?

Just then, another car pulled out from a parking lot opposite where we were standing. The young man saw the empty lot and quickly ran towards his car and wanted to take the lot. Before he could even drive his BMW, another car, a Lexus, overtook him and head-in and took the parking lot.

I could see that the young BMW driver really very angry and again he came out from his car and walked towards the Lexus. Think he wanted to call that Lexus driver to give the parking lot to him.

Me and my cha-bo-lang did not bother to stay back to listen to their quarrel and went for our shopping happily, at least for my wife.

Anyway, later when I went to collect my car after our shopping, my car was in good condition and guess what, the Lexus was still parking there and the BMW 7-series was nowhere to be seen, think the Lexus driver also bo-chap that BMW driver.

lim peh kong wan liao


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Monday, November 21, 2005



小时候,读书读到好累好累,只要一拿出课本,我的天,好累。 玩耍却不见得会累,奇怪?!

追求女孩子时怎样也不觉得累,仿佛是金刚不坏之身。 一结婚后,连周末与公共假期都懒得出去一趟,理由----累!









x x x x x

2005 后语:



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Friday, November 18, 2005

Dogs Do The Silliest Things

To enlarge, click on individual picture.

** Source from "Dogs Do The Silliest Things" - Author: Alexandra Ortolja-Baird (publisher MQ Publications Limited) **

Dogs.......... :)


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Thursday, November 17, 2005

狮城怪谈 (三)











忘了是谁曾说过这么一句话:“ 有男人的地方一定有香烟;有女人的地方一定有嘈声。”







x x x x x

“阿成,拿这份文件去楼下给老陈。” 我的助手珍妮对Officer Boy说道。

“没问题,立刻送去。” 阿成连跑带跳地拿了文件便跑下楼去。

“这个阿成总是那么不定性。” 珍妮边摇头边对着我说。


“哎。。。呀。。。” 楼下传来阿成微弱的呻吟声。


“怎样?” 我低下头问阿成。

“哎。。。哎,我的左腿断了。” 阿成呻吟道。此时,老陈也走了过来。

“别乱动,我马上去打电话召救护车。” 老陈说完便去打电话。


x x x x x


“怎么会想辞职?” 我望着他问道。

“没什么,只是想换换环境。” 阿成说道。


“嗯。” 阿成敷衍答道。



“我。。。那天。。。” 阿成一副欲语还休的样子。

“什么事这样吞吞吐吐的,别婆妈了。” 珍妮道。

“那天当我下楼时,走到一半,忽然一阵阴风从四周吹了过来。” 阿成吸了一口气后说道。“然后我忽然感觉到背后好象有人逼近我。在我未来得及转过头去看时,在我背后突然有人用力推了我一下,就这样我失去重心,滚了下去。”

“那天除了你之外,根本没人跟着你下去。” 珍妮吓到脸色发白问道。

“是吗?也许是吧!” 阿成耸了耸肩说道。





“唉!耳朵又得受罪。” 我心里叹了一口气。


“老板,阿成他是被女鬼推下去的。” 雪利第一个在我耳边进攻。

“是啊,真是有女鬼!” 珍妮也不甘示弱,立即加入“攻势”。

“胡说八道!那儿有鬼?哈,妳们真是神通广大,竟然还知道是女鬼?” 我望着她们三人问道。

“什么胡说八道,是真的,那天我很早便抵达公司,我是第一个人进来。我在楼下的楼梯处刚要上楼来时,抬头见到一名身穿白衣的长发女人正站在二楼处。” 雪利睁大双眼说道。

“当时的我吓了一跳,不敢独自上来,连忙走去仓库等你们来。” 雪利继续说:“那天续我之后便是老板你来得最早。”

“哦,那天我记得妳整个人魂不守舍,我还问妳是不是生病。” 我说道。


“还有啊,” 南丝也插上一脚说道:“有一次中午我不舒服没去吃午餐,独自一人在办公室里休息,忽然由楼下转来一阵阵的哭泣声,哭得很凄凉而且越来越大声。我以为是珍妮还是雪利在哭便走下楼去看看,却不见有人。”



“哇!!” 我突然大喊一声。

哇!!!” 三名女人被我突如其来的叫声吓了一跳,齐齐喊了起来。



“你做什么大叫?” 珍妮一手按住胸口说道。

“就是,你怪叫什么?” 雪利和南丝双双把双眼张的大大对着我怒问。

“对不起,和你们玩玩。” 我举起手做投降壮。

“好了,回去做工。” 珍妮见了,便替我解围。

x x x x x


















“谁?” 我叫了一声,快步冲向那扇门。













“早,老童。” 老陈对我打个招呼。

“早,你可有见到什么人由楼上下来吗?” 我问老陈。

“没有啊,我只见到你下来。” 老陈说道:“发生了什么事?”

“没什么。” 看来是我眼花。


“老童,你见到了什么?” 老陈一脸沉重问道。


“你没眼花,因为我也曾见过。” 老陈说道。


“那天晚上,我留下做夜班,那时我就坐在这儿。忽然楼上传来一阵打字的声音,当时你们全下班了,楼上根本没有人。” 老陈说到这儿,珍妮和雪利也来上班了,两人听到老陈的话双双都站在那儿听老陈继续说下去。



老陈望了望她,继续说:“我拿了文件上楼时,走到一半,我见到一名穿白衣裙的女子慢慢地向着 我走过来。”

“啊!” 珍妮与雪利吓得彼此紧靠在一起。

“只见她望着我,以一双哀怨的眼睛看着我,仿佛有许多话要对我倾诉。” 老陈点了一根烟说道:“她就站在我面前静静地看着我,象似有话对我说却不出一声,我被吓得呆立在那儿与她对望。过了好一会儿,才恢复正常。我立即掉过头跑下楼,逃出仓库。当我在外头锁门时,听到里头传来哭泣声,我一刻也不想再呆在那儿便急急忙忙离开了。”


“Hi! 大家早!”南丝此时走了进来,她的那一声 “狮子吼” 把大家吓了一跳。

“怎么了?” 南丝见大伙儿吓了一跳,不禁问道。

“没事,没事,开工了。” 我拍了拍手,然后转过身上楼去。


“有一次我听到那复印机自动操作,而且不止一次呢。” 南丝对着她们说道。

“是啊,这间公司真有点邪门,有时我的文具会无缘无故不见,这一刻刚在我桌上,下一刻就不见了。” 雪利说道。




x x x x x












我公司里的电话是那种可打出来,也可让公司里的职员做室内交谈,那种英语叫 “Inter-Calling”。


此时,我桌上的电话机响时,正是显示着是 Inter-Calling。







“没事,电话故障罢了。” 我安慰着自己。天知道当时我有多害怕,根本不相信会这么巧,复印机故障,电话机也故障。


啊!又是 Inter-Calling!



“谁?” 我大喊一声。仿佛想借着喊叫声掩盖恐惧。

“呜。。。。。” 哭泣声还是连续不断。





又是 Inter-Calling!





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Sunday, November 13, 2005

Bloggers' Night Karaoke KTV Session

lim peh ka li kong

Last night, we had our bloggers' night karaoke KTV organised by Qin Shi Huang at the Toa Payoh SAFRA Club from 7 pm to 2 am.

The 5 confirmed showing their faces were Qin Shi Huang, Ipromise, Xorpheus, Monkichi and Old Beng me but 2 other persons also turn up - Xishi and my cha-bo-lang which made a total of 7 persons singing all night long.

Monkichi; Qin Shi Huang; Xorpheus; Xishi; Old Beng; Cha-bo-lang (left to right)

Monkichi; Qin Shi Huang; Ipromise; Xishi; Old Beng; Cha-bo-lang (left to right)

The ealiest bird was Ipromise followed by Old Beng and cha-bo-lang. As usual emperor was late (Piang, organisor also late BUT I already got used to it) Anyway the first half an hour was all to the 3 of us.

All of us showed our singing skills and of course there were some very good ones, wa-piang like listening to CD, especially Xishi, no horse run. If Xishi were the Karaoke Queen, then the title of Karaoke King that night was none other then Ipromise.

The worst singer was * ... drum-roll... * Old Beng me. Ha ha! Actually quite pity the others to have to endure my torturing of my singing. Think I can be part-time torturing terrorists with my singing at their ears.

My singing condition was bad due to the following reasons:-

1) My coughing still persist and my throat was really not suitable to sing; (But you know, everybody had to pay so if no sing, then lugi one so bo-bian must sing at least a few songs la)

2) The last time me and my cha-bo-lang went for Karaoke session was 3 years ago thus without practice our singing skills, if any, already rusty. (Horrible singing plus coughing halfway also don't care la, anyway they were the ones being tortured, not me :p)

3) A bit too shy to sing in front of the Karaoke Queen and King;

There were a few climaxes during our session which I must share with you:-

1) A mini-concert was performed by Monkichi with her tribute to Teresa Teng 邓丽君. Monkichi really sang like Teresa Teng.

2) Old Beng sang but forgot to bring his ladder cos he couldn't reach the high note without the ladder and eventually his voice broke and sang out of tune and 走音 until reached JB.

3) Xorpheus and Qin did some songs on BeeGees and man, really good until Old Beng me started to join in to sing "Tragedy". It was really a tragedy to all until Xishi the queen could not take it anymore and puke. To protest, she showed us her "No Eyes See" posture.

4) Old Beng and cha-bo-lang also did a few Duets and me sang badly but luckily my cha-bo-lang sang well and think probably the others knew that if they were to criticise my singing, I will show them my tiger and eagle so nobody dared to even show their slightest discontentment when we sang. Happy couples cos nobody dared not to applause.

5) Ipromise and my cha-bo-lang sang "Endless Love" and my oh my, they duet better than me leh. (No photo cos they scared I see already angry, but no la me where got angry just because of 1 LOVE song?) Actually while they were singing, me took the opportunity to go and sit between 2 pretty girl girl - Monkichi and Xishi. 6) Old Beng, think I was a bit drunk, started to dance when a few fast number songs were sung and how do I fare? Think my dancing was better than my singing and my blogging. (No photo was taken cos everyone was laughing so badly and could not possibly take photo with shaking hands)

Last but not least, here are some of the great photos.

The Four heavenly kings 四大天王 (Xorpheus, Ipromise, Qin Shi Huang and Old Beng)
The Charlie's Angels or Power Puff Girls? (Monkichi, Xishi and Cha-bo-lang) Sorry, no photo for this one.

Beauty and the beast (Old Beng and Xishi)
Old man and Young man (Old Beng and Xorpheus)

Karaoke Queen (Xishi)
Karaoke King (Ipromise)
Xorpheus singing
Emperor choosing songs (Qin Shi Huang)
Monkichi and Xishi - the best Duets in Town.
Following credits must be given to the following persons:-

Qin Shi Huang : For his great effort for organising the Karaoke night. We really enjoyed ourselves, kam siah brother.

Xishi : Melodious voice and good singing entertainment from her with the different types of songs she sang (Faye Wong 王菲,Jay Chou 周杰伦,Duet with Monkichi singing the male's portion)

Ipromise : Good manly voice and sang a variety of English, Mandarin , Cantonese songs. Credit definitely must go to his last song "Tonight will you come - 今夜你会不会来" which he dedicated to each and everyone.

Xorpheus : Jovial guy who sang nice songs and dared to duet with Old Beng me. And most importantly, he was our camera man.

Monkichi : English, Mandarin, Cantonese, Hokkien songs all sang by her. A real talented Karaoke singer.

Cha-bo-lang : Duet with Old Beng me and brought back the good old memories which we had.

After our Karaoke session last night, Xorpheus announced to arrange for the next Bloggers' gathering and no, don't worry, all are spared from my singing and we have decided without any objection to go for bowling instead. Good choice cos you will not be tortured by Old Beng's singing again.

lim peh kong wan liao


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Friday, November 11, 2005

Happy Mood

lim peh ka li kong

Wasn't very happy lately due to the following reasons:-
  1. Maid went back to her country for 2 weeks holiday;
  2. Office work getting more due to the incompetence of another colleague;
  3. Kena Road tax and car insurance = money no enough;
  4. Coughing for the past 2 - 3 weeks;

Then, received 1 piece of GOOD news this morning and now I feel very very very very very happppppppy. WOOHOO :)))))))

Life is beautiful, life is good, life is shiok.

Want to let it all out and announce to the whole world: Me very happpppppyyyyy!!!!

Bonus: Weekend coming, no work, double WOOHOO :D

Additional bonus: Will be meeting up with some bloggers tomorrow for the first time. Anymore friends interested to join our bloggers' night organised by Qin Shi Huang. Read this for more details. Currently there are only 5 confirm, think we can take in more.

lim peh kong wan liao


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Thursday, November 10, 2005

A Dream

After I disclosed my true identity, many friends of mine started to ask me the reason for doing so? Even my wife questioned me on my motive, and she is one who reads but does not really care what I blogged.

It has been taunting me since then and at one time I even asked myself whether I had made the right decision in doing so but what is done cannot be undone.

Think this issue is really eating into me to the extend that I actually had a bizarre dream.

I dreamed that I was at home sitting in front of my computer writing Old Beng's tales when my wife told me that I had visitors. When I went to the door I saw an uncle standing outside my gate and with him was an army of children. (Have to use the word army cos that was how I felt when I saw them in my dream).

"Yes, can I help you?"

"lim peh ka li kong, I am Old Beng and these are my children." The uncle told me and all the 12 children greeted me loudly. "We come here to see you is to ask you why you want to delete us away? We do nothing wrong and also do no harm to anyone what? You know I even don't scold bad words one unlike some other bloggers who use vulgarity like nobody's business?"

"But....but I didn't delete you what?" I started to sweat when I faced Old Beng cos I could see his tiger and eagle on his arms.

"Yes, you did. You told the whole world that Old Beng does not exist and only you made it all up. You tell me now how? Where can we go? I have my cha-bo-lang and 12 children with me and we don't even have a place to stay now. What have we done to offend you? You cannot one day suka suka created me and my family and then another day delete us away, it's not fair to us. you know or not, now I even got fans who want to see me and my tattoo and ...."

"Old Beng, relax. I never say I will discard you neither did I say I will delete you. I will still let you have your say in my blog as and when you like."

"But it's never same again one la, by telling the world I do not exist and just a psodomy....pseu... don't know what you call la, you are hurting me badly. I think it is not right by disclosing openly even without asking my opinion. Furthermore, I think you got popular because of Old Beng me and my family and my tattoo and...."

"Eh...Old Beng, I didn't mean it to be that way you know? All that I am saying is that I may wish to touch on certain topics which I don't think you can comprehend thus I require myself to be blogging instead of you."

"You talk what? What topics lim peh cannot talk one? I everything also can talk and if I cannot talk I will get my cha-bo-lang to help me talk one."


"No need I la, I want to tell the whole world that Old Beng and his family do exist and it is you who do not exist. Maybe you do not exist, Old Beng exists and created you and not you exist and created me."

At that moment, I woke up.

Gosh! What has becoming of me? Am I too engrossed in my own creation thus unconsciously having a double personality? Am I really existing and created Old Beng or like what he said in my dream - the other way round? It is he who exists and created me instead?

Hope I do not require the help of any psychologist or psychiatrist.

Anybody out there who can interpret dreams? Please share your opinion.


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Wednesday, November 09, 2005

狮城怪谈二 (中 / 下)

故事 二 (中)


天旋地转 电梯里阴风阵阵





















x x x x x





































x x x x x





















故事 二 (下)


七支香 十四个夜晚 鬼魂不再现







x x x x x


















x x x x x





x x x x x




















经过这件事后,丽珍再也不随意得罪或碰触任何具神秘性的东西,毕竟是 “宁可信其有,不可信其无”,而自己本身也的确遭遇这玄妙的事情。。。。。


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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

狮城怪谈二 (上)


常言道: “宁可信其有,不可信其无。” 就算你不相信鬼神之说,也不要故意招惹它。虽然你始终不信邪,甚至于认为是无稽之说,可是一旦你亲身遇到,你就会。。。


故事 二 (上)










x x x x x






x x x x x

















x x x x x













x x x x x




x x x x x





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Old Beng : A Pseudonym

Ever since I started my Blog "lim peh ka li kong", I have been writing under the pseudonym of "Old Beng" and other times in Chinese some old articles written some years back.

Friends who know me as I am in reality seem not able to understand that Old Beng is just a made-up character and not able to accept my non-sense tales. The most obvious difference is the numbers of children Old Beng has and his "Fiona look-alike wife" cos in actual life, this is not true.

Oh please, in our fast pace-moving society we are having now, who on earth with a sound mind will have 12 children. I have a friend who has 5 children and for that I really salute him.

So if you are a personal friend of mine, please read Old Beng´s tales with an open mind and do not get confused over the real me in life.

Old Beng : 40 years old married with 12 children and stays in HDB driving a van and working as an office PKL man.

Real me : 40 years old married without children used to stay in HDB driving a car and working as an Executive Operator in the Petroleum Line.

The reason for this clarification is that I am thinking of touching on certain incidents and wanting to share the real life which I am now going through. Who knows, I may even upload some photographs to share.

In other words, whether I am writing my real life incidents or using Old Beng to spice up my articles, I do hope to bring a smile on your face whenever you read them.


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Monday, November 07, 2005

夜 静 思










沉思也是另一种享受。总喜欢在夜晚毫无目的,毫无目标的沉思,虽然有时少不免有一些 “强说愁,无病呻吟” 之类的沉思,却不失一份舒坦的感受。



x x x x x

2005 后语:



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Saturday, November 05, 2005


lim peh ka li kong

People say if you can fart freely in front of another person, your relationship with him/her is far beyond just friend;

Everybody farts. That's an absolute truth, whoever you are, even celebrities fart.

Old Beng's big family usually farts quite a lot due to our preference of food - sweet potato; Sweet potato is a very healthy food but the only set back is that you will tend to fart more. At times, my 12 children can perform a symphony of Fart. (Just kidding)

From what I know, if one were to control his fart and keep it back without releasing it via the proper channel, due to whatever reason, maybe feel shy to fart infront of his friends, lovers, etc he will probably get a bad breath.

Although I encourage one to fart when there is a need but I think there are certain scenarios which are really unsuitable to fart, especially those long, loud and with a pungent smell ones.
  • Climbing stairs in a row
  • Having meals
  • In a concealed and poorly ventilated room
  • Kissing halfway
  • Swimming
  • Big and Serious Presentation to an Important Client

Usually if I were to let go my "German Gas" (wonder why it is called German and not other country) and cannot hide the fact that the source was from me, then I will apologise.

Human nature is such that if one is in a lift, packed with people, nobody will admit that he has just fart. Thus we will just pretend and cover our nose and look around at everybody in the lift even though we are in fact the farter. Too bad if there is only one other person with you in the lift cos there's no way you can hide and pretend.

Last week, me went to the post office to collect some registered articles. There was quite a long queue so me also queue up and wait for my turn.

Half way through I felt my stomach started to rumble. Must be the 3 pieces of sweet potato I ate that morning.

"Phuuuuut!!!" I let out a long, loud fart. Think the counter aunty also can hear my loud fart and everybody queueing in front of me all turned their heads and looked at me.

Me also reacted very quickly, me also turned my head behind to see. You know la, like that means I also not the one who fart and me also want to see who was the unlucky one behind me, ha ha ha clever leh?

Wa-piang! There was nobody standing behind me and I was the last person in the queue.

Then I heard one young teenager boy said," Ai-yo uncle, you are the one who fart la, still want to pretend what" and there was a huge uproar of laughter after that.

Me never felt so pai-seh before one and I think my whole face also turned red, so malu.

I quickly left the post office in a hurry and later got my son to collect the mail instead.

lim peh kong wan liao


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