lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Meeting Up

lim peh ka li kong

I always admire people who can make friends easily especially in our fast moving society nowadays. Just ask yourself, how many closed friends do you have and how often do you meet up?

I have always been quite proud of myself as I considered myself a quite easy-going person and can "click" with all types of people, from blue-collared workers (like Old Beng) to the white-collared workers (Executives and managers).

Then I met this person whom I think he is more sociable than Old Beng me and he is also very knowledgeable - Qin Shi Huang.

Those who know me will know that me started to write Old Beng's tales in Yahoo Messenger Board and from there me got to know many cyber friends. Through our correspondences we know one another better and then I met them - Qin Shi Huang and ipromisethiswonthurt.

They say by a person's written articles, one is able to tell and judge a person's characters and personality. I think in this cyber world we are having now, this is not true at all.

Last Saturday, I met up with both Qin Shi Huang and Ipromise for a late breakfast at a coffeeshop near my place. As one of them is staying in the extreme West and the other in the extreme East so we agreed to meet in the middle. The meeting was fixed last minute thus not able to get more people to join us although we knew many more were also interested to meet up with us. We will arrange for another meeting again and hope that by then there will be more cyber friends joining us.

I was rather happy that in spite of my very late notice, both Qin and Ipromise were able to squeeze their time and agreed to meet up at my place.

While I was waiting for them to come, I heard a knock on my door and when I opened the door I saw a man with 2 big bags of things and from the first sight I knew he was a door to door salesman.

Before that salesman could say anything, Old Beng me immediately said, "No, my house got everything and anything so me don't need anything from you so thank you and goodbye and have a nice day." After I finished, me closed the door.

"Knock, knock." The salesman outside still wanted to try his luck on me? So Old Beng me went to open the door again and this time the sales man spoke up first," Er... are you Old Beng?"

Yuh? How he knew me is Old Beng? "Yes? I am Old Beng."

"Old Beng! I am Ipromise la."

Alamak!! He was Ipromise not a door to door salesman. Wa-piang-er, why he carried so many barang barang?

"Sorry hor, I don't know it's you sorry and please come in." Me quickly opened the door for Ipromise to come in.

"Old Beng, these 2 bags of toys are for your children to play." Ipromise passed his 2 bags full of toys to me.

"Ai-yo, ipromise, no need to waste money one la but thank you hor." Me then called my 12 children out to greet uncle Ipromise and after that they vanished into their rooms and played with their new toys.

Then, Qin Shi Huang came although he was late as usual but emperor late very common la and furthermore, emperor leh, who dare to tell him off? As my house was a little bit small, so we decided to go down to the coffee shop near my house and to have some prata there.

Only when we sat down did I have the chance to look at both of them.

Ipromise - Very manly look and very built, a little look like the actor Arnold Schwarzenegger and because he is an avid tennis player, his right arm is very muscular.

Qin - very emperor look and everytime he walked past me, I can feel the wind.

Old Beng - Old uncle and because of the stress he faces everyday, he looks older than his age.

3 of us had a good late breakfast and talked on many issues and finally around 1230 pm we went our separate ways.

To be honest, I was quite surprised that the cyber friends I made via YMB or my Blog are actually willing to meet up and have a chat. We know that sometimes, all the cyber characters are all just made-to-believe only and a cyber person with a male name may turn up to be a girl and vice versa.

It is, however, very interesting when you meet up and then you realised that what you visualise all the while and seeing the actual person is 2 complete different things and that, to me, is a beauty.

Yeah, probably when my cyber friends see me they will XYZ me maybe because in actual life, Old Beng isn't that Beng after all, but as I said before, Old Beng is just a character I used for my story lines, so don't mix it all up.

lim peh kong wan liao


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Friday, October 28, 2005


年轻时写下一些散文类似的文章,可能年纪小,或者是 “为赋新诗强说愁”,现在重读,冷汗直流,但正所谓:老婆是别人的俏,文章是自己的好。









然后妳说妳厌倦了这种生活,这种关系。 然后妳说妳想重新生活。








雨声渐近,渐响,渐密 。。。

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Thursday, October 27, 2005

半之歌 / 老友与我

关人隐士老明一好友, 从小一开始认识至今, 同一所小学, 中学, 屈指一算, 相识已有三十四载. 人生得一知己, 又有贤妻, 上天待我如此不薄, 夫复何求!?

那天, 收到他 emailed 给我的一首诗, 惊为天人, 也道出我俩的些许心态. 刊登于此, 和各位分享:-


无以名之,且叫 “半之歌”。


半贫半富, 半命半天,半百岁月若烟。





老明手一痒, 心一动, 写下几句词赠良友 :

情窦初开, 面朦心精, 同进出
谈古说今, 通宵达夜, 无倦意
评头论足, 完美情妇, 为芝琳
细雨纷飞, 两勒插刀, 是手足
年近半百, 看淡事故, 係宿命

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The Lift

lim peh ka li kong

Nowadays Singapore has got so many high high buildings, the lift has become an inevitable machine to many of us. 90% of the people stay in HDB flats (don't know my stats correct or not, just agaration only) and again lifts are been used daily for those who stay at the higher floor.

For Old Beng me, my office is located on the 18th storey so bo bian everyday got to take lift up to my office . Actually me tried climbing up the stairs everyday but because me always reach my office building on time so if I climb stairs so late one.

Taking the lift everyday so me can say just like everybody taking lift will know the different types of passengers in the little trapped cubicle behaved.

Many times, we will see some kiasu people standing at the entrance of the lift and refused to move their golden butts in (yeah, just like some people taking bus). There is still enough space for them to shift inward a bit so more people can take the lift especially in the morning when everyone is rushing to the office. You know la, workers who have bosses who come in early one must make sure don't reach office late. These people just refuse to move, why I don't understand la, maybe after they saw the movie "The Eye" so they scared got ghost inside.

Usually when I see that there is indeed more space at the back of the lift but the people standing in front don't want to move in, me will surely say," Excuse me hor, move in can, inside got some more space." and squeeze myself in. Normally the girls will automatically move in and avoid Old Beng.

Got one time a man (the long sleeves with tie type) refused to move his royal butt in further despite there was still a lot of space. I just moved in and stood face to face with him with a mere distance gap of maybe 2 inches and stared at him until he bo bian got to move away from me. I purposely licked my lips and think he darn scared I accidentally lost balance and kiss him on his lips, wahahahaha.

Sometimes, I went into the lift first and automatically I will move right into the back to provide more space for others. Those OL standing in front one always don't want to press the lift buttons, just stand there "pai" pose like model like that.

One thing I find it very wield, every time when we are in the lift, we will automatic either look up to the ceiling of the lift or look down on the flooring or if not will be a total blank look, only very lucky then you can see one smiling face.

I ever kena one time got into the lift during lunch time with about 15 girl girl inside, wa-piang, I tell you man, so noisy cos the girl girl all talked non-stop and from my 18th storey, the stupid lift stopped at almost every level. Just like the old saying, when there are girls, there sure to be noise; When there are men, there sure to be smoke;

lim peh kong wan liao


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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Old Beng Sunday Morning

lim peh ka li kong

Last Sunday morning, me and my cha-bo-lang after our routine morning stroll/walk/run/exercise at Botanic Garden (sometimes we go to Bukit Timah Hill instead), we went to Clementi Central to have our breakfast and also to do some marketing.

As usual, me headed straight for my favourite food, prawn noodle soup. My cha-bo-lang always tells me, "Ai-yo, lau beng why you always eat the same food day in day out, never change and try other type, not sian ah?"

"lau po, you are lucky me always stick to my original taste for everything, if not, then I probably will be changing in the taste of my food, my vehicle, my flat and also my cha-bo-lang.....ouch!!!!" the result for trying to be funny and humorous was being pulled at my ear again.

"You try to change me, don't know how to spell DEATH is it?" My cha-bo-lang grabbed my ear, pulled it and then turned clockwise for 180 degrees.

"Ai-ya, no la no la, just joking only. You no sense of humour one." Me quickly pulled away from her.

We then found an empty table and sat down after we both ordered our prawn noodle soup.

Then, me saw a very old couple (think the ah pek and ah ma at least 70 years old) walking towards the table we were sitting and asked to share the seats with us. Wah, these old husband and wife very lovingly leh, hold hands and the ah ma even took out her handkerchief and cleaned the seats before allowing the ah pek to sit down.

Ha, they also ordered the same prawn noodle soup like us.

Suddenly, me saw 3 young, pretty chio-bo sat down beside our table and me could not help but look at them without my eyes blinked a single time. Cannot blame me hum-sup la, the 3 young girls wore hot-pants and singlet-like t-shirt and some more faces red red after their morning exercise I think, so young so fresh so nice. I only dare to see see look look, yeah of course my cha-bo-lang still pretty and chio to me but honestly speaking hor, young girls half her age surely win at least one horse position la.

Yee? They also went to order the same prawn noodle soup, think this stall prawn noodle soup really nice.

When my poor eyes started to get tired again due to the secretly seeing cha-bo through the corner of my eyes (to avoid my cha-bo-lang from knowing I seeing girl girl), the hawker aunty brought 2 bowls of prawn noodles to our table.

But wait, she gave them to the old ah pek and ah ma instead to us. Me could see that they had ordered bee-hoon only and we ordered bee-hoon mee, so not my one.

Then hor, the hawker aunty also served the 3 young chio-bo 3 bowls of prawn noodle soup.

Wa-lau-a, my one don't have ah? Why aunty kept serving the others? Maybe she forgotten that I also got ordered.

I walked up to her and asked," Hello aunty, my 2 bowls of prawn bee-hoon mee soup not ready ah? Like very long already because I ordered before the old couple and the 3 young girls."

The aunty looked at me and said," Rush what? Now I cooked for you lor, cannot wait si bo?"

Wa-piang! Like that talked also can eh? "Oei! Aunty! Is it I eat free one ah, you forgot my order you just tell me properly, it is okay one but you talked like that si mi meaning? You should serve according to first come first serve ma, how can like that suka suka he first I last? Not right leh?"

" sorry lor, I forget, now I cook for you." Aunty face malu malu apologised.

"Ok la, like that say at least something, how can you forget and some more so fierce?" I told her and walked back to my table.

My cha-bo-lang gave my hand a squeeze and told me never mind la, wait awhile lor.

After we finished our delicious prawn bee-hoon noodle soup, we went to the wet market to buy some vegetables and meat and fish and fruits and my cha-bo-lang almost bought the whole market. (ya ya I was a little bit exaggerate)

After that we saw an old man selling bamboo sticks and my cha-bo-lang bought 5 bamboo sticks as the ones at home were already old and the edge also picah liao.

"Lau beng, you wait for me and I need to go and buy some eggs." my cha-bo-lang told me. So me carried the 5 bamboo sticks and stood near the playground waiting for my cha-bo-lang.

Suddenly, a middle-aged uncle (just like old beng) walked up to me and said," Uncle, your bamboo sticks how to sell ah?"

"Huh? What how to sell?" Me did not understand his English and what he meant at all.

"How much one bamboo stick?" that uncle asked me again.

Wa-paing eh, he thought old beng me sell bamboo one. How can I looked like a man selling bamboo sticks?

"Hello, me no sell bamboo one hor, go there and ask that man la." Me pointed the direction where the seller had his small stall.

"Sorry, sorry, but you sure look like the bamboo man." The uncle said with a sneered tone and a grin on his face before he walked away.

Wa Kao! So what if I looked like a bamboo stick seller? Why must he showed his grin as if he looked down on people who makes a living by selling things?

What a day I had man, first I was not served for the noodle I ordered and then I was mistaken as a man selling bamboo.

lim peh kong wan liao

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005

狮城怪谈一 (下)

故事一 (下)

阴魂不散, 死人翻身

他一边哼着歌曲一边由搂下爬上二搂. 当他抵达二搂的梯阶时, 一阵冷冻的寒风忽然从不知处慢慢地围绕着他, 使他不禁停止哼歌, 把衣领拉高一些.

"怎么搞的, 忽然间变得这么冷?" 阿标一面走一面嘀咕着.

四周静悄悄, 寒冷的气温又一阵一阵侵入心脾, 使他不禁感到胆怯.

就在他爬上三楼时, 看到一个人默默地坐在梯口边. 由于距离甚远, 加上光线不足, 一时之间认不出是什么人.

在他来到那人身前三四尺远, 才看清楚原来是王叔.

"王叔, 还没睡啊?" 阿标见王叔独自一人呆坐在梯口, 便礼貌地与他打招呼.

"......" 王叔默默的坐着, 双眼望着前方, 象是没听到阿标在和他打招呼.

阿标见王叔一脸木讷的表情, 自觉讨了个没趣, 便打了个哈哈, 说道: "夜了, 早点休息, 明儿见."

说完便沿着墙边尽量不碰到王叔而由他身旁经过, 走回房去.

在阿标开房门时, 回过头去看王叔, 发觉他还是一动也不动地坐在那儿......

x x x x x

隔天早上, 阿标在吃早餐时, 对榕叔提起昨夜见到王叔的事.

"啊! 你...你说什么?" 榕叔放下报纸, 一脸惊骇的表情.

"没什么, 我只是奇怪王叔怎么会变得那么怪? 一声不响, 真是奇怪!" 阿标满脸疑惑, 不明白父亲怎会那么大惊小怪.

"你看清楚是王叔, 可能是光线不足够, 你眼花吧."

"我又没近视, 怎会眼花呢?"

"不可能的, 你一定是看错了."

"我不可能会看错的, 不信我和你过去王叔那儿问问看."

"不必问了, 你肯定看错了!" 榕叔大声说道.

"哎呀! 你父子俩是怎么搞的, 七早八早便吵个不停." 榕婶从厕所里出来见到二人争吵便阻止他们.

"妈, 都是爸爸他, 我说我昨夜见到王叔, 他就...." 阿标道.

"啊! 你胡说什么, 你..." 榕婶脸色突然变得苍白.

"妈, 你们到底做什么?" 阿标一脸的迷惑.

"阿标, 王叔已去世一个多礼拜了!" 榕叔道.

阿标只觉得脑里一声"轰", 体内的血液似停止活动, 整个人仿佛跌进冰库中.

"不可能, 我昨夜明明见到他, 难道我见到的是王叔的鬼魂?" 阿标以颤抖的声音说道.

"走, 我和你过去为王叔烧个香." 榕叔说完便拉着阿标过去王叔那儿......

很快的, 这个消息一个传一个, 终于整座组屋的人都知道阿标遇见王叔的鬼魂.

这件事令到整座组屋的人都人心惶惶, 只要夜晚一降临就无人敢再踏出房门半步.

那些做工迟归的人每每都一大班人一起回家, 以便为彼此壮胆.

有一夜, 一大班人造样一起夜归. 在他们爬上梯阶时并没见到王叔, 一大伙人三步拼两步地走到三楼去.

其中一个在走过后, 回头一看. 不看犹可, 一看, 心差点停止跳动, 因为他看到王叔正坐在梯口的当中.

一声"妈呀!" 每个人都没命地跑回房里. 从此以后, 再无人敢做夜班, 每个人都宁愿少赚一点钱.

终于有一晚, 王婶亲自开门出去看, 果然见到王叔坐在他死时头部撞在梯阶的那儿.

"老伴!" 王婶一开口叫王叔, 还没来得及说弟二句, 王叔已消失在空气中, 只留下王婶独自一人呆在那儿流泪.....

x x x x x

"这样下去不是办法, 我两个儿子还小, 吓着他们怎么办?"

"就是啊, 我连晚上都不敢上厕所."


"其实也没什么, 我老伴什么也没做, 根本没骚扰到你们, 更何况我想叫他别吓了你们也无计可施, 他每次都在我开口和他说话时消失." 王婶说道.

"王婶, 话不是这么说, 毕竟他令我们感到害怕, 也为我们带来许多的不便." 明叔道.


"我们大家都同意出一点钱, 请人来为王叔超度, 希望他今后不再出现." 明叔道.

"这样也好, 希望他会瞑目." 王婶道.

几天后, 大家请了一名慰灵道士来为王叔作法. 经过一番的念经与烧了一些冥纸后, 王叔果然不再出现.

如今那座屋子也已被拆掉, 邻居们都搬到不同的地方, 逐渐失去联络.


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Saturday, October 22, 2005



1. 他不爱我 : 莫文蔚
"...他不爱我, 尽管如此, 他还是贏走了我的心..."
* 词曲皆佳, 唱出许多人的心声 *

2. 我真的受伤了 : 张学友
"...天下起雨了, 人是不快乐, 我的心真的受伤了..."
* 失恋时所不能听的一首歌曲 *

3. 听说爱情回来过 : 林亿莲
"...有一种想見不敢見的伤痛, 有一种爱还埋藏在我心中..."
* 词, 曲, 演绎俱佳的一首好歌 *

4. 不值得 : 梦飞船
"...这份感情, 不值得我回忆...
* 词, 曲, 演绎, 全由新加坡组合一手包办 *

5. 断点 : 张敬轩
"...我转过我的脸, 不让你看見, 深藏的暗湧已经越來越明显..."
* 写词, 作曲, 一手包办, 近来少见的佳作 *

6. 无底洞 : 蔡键雅
"...沒有谁背后怂恿, 不该爱又爱的冲动, 是你害怕孤單而拼命补充..."
* 动听, 动人 *

7. 月亮代表谁的心 : 陶喆
"...轻轻的一個吻(轻轻 baby just a little kiss), 曾经打动你的心..."
* 旧歌新编, blue blue 的唱法, 好听 *

8. 流泪手心 : 王力宏
"...当你将离别握在我手心, 我听見爱被悄悄捏碎的声音..."
* 王力宏早期的一首动听歌曲 *

9. 尘埃 : 文章
"...爱你的心是尘埃, 心碎后散开了, 它就一直无所不在, 笼罩我的双眼这世界沒有色彩..."
* 何处惹尘埃, 情...*

10. 乱了 : 关淑怡
"...这一切, 只是上天对我的亏欠..."
* 在错的时间遇到对的人, 无奈 *

11. 你如何还能这样的温柔 : 赵传
"...妳如何还能这样溫柔, 当我的心已不能完整的拼湊..."
* 齐秦的曲, 李格弟的词, 赵传高亢的歌声谱出一首心酸的离情歌曲 *

12. 没有永久的爱情 : 周华键
"...没有永久的爱情, 没有永久的回忆..."
* 张洪量的杰作, 一首超感性的歌 *

13. 玫瑰花瓣的信笺 : 林志炫
"...一瓣玫瑰代表一份枯萎的依恋, 別再想起曾经那麼美的昨天..."
* 分手后, 重遇的凄美总让人感叹 *

14. 试着了解 : 万芳
"...是不是每個爱情, 都會走到很难交流的局面, 別人又是如何面对力不从心的感觉..."
* 感情变了就变了, 很难能从头再来, 就算再来, 感觉一定不同, 再也找不回那种感觉 *

15. 戒情人 : 郑中基
"...喝一口眼神換心碎几分, 谁让你沉溺, 就让你伤神..."
* 梁文福描述情感的佳作之一 *

好歌太多, 无发一一选上做为参考, 计有张惠妹, 张信哲, 光良, 梁静茹, 孙燕姿, 齐秦 等等.

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Friday, October 21, 2005

狮城怪谈一 (上)




鬼, 这个字总是给人一种阴沉沉, 令人心灵不安的感觉. 这世上到底可有鬼的存在? 这个问题早已被人提过, 却无人能确实证明什么.

一直以来, 报章, 杂志所刊登的鬼故事都是一些发生在外国的事件; 在这儿, 就让我为大家讲一些发生在新加坡的鬼故事吧! 有一些是我本人亲身体验, 有一些是亲戚朋友口述的. 当然描述这些鬼故事并不是鼓励人们迷信, 所谓宁可信其有, 不可信其无. 从不相信鬼故事的朋友可把它们当成是消遣的娱乐吧! 不过我本人是深信鬼魂的存在.




穷家人办丧事 : 死尸撞头

这件事发生在六十年代, 当时我还没出世.

虽然有一些人不相信, 但这件事是千真万确的, 因为王叔是我已故的外公.

世上有鬼与否, 事实上是见仁见智的. 信与不信又有什么分别呢? 就当它是一篇鬼故事吧.



在五十年代, 贫穷的人家总是住在一座简陋的小屋子里. 阴暗的走廊, 狭窄的木阶梯, 由于屋子的设计落后, 就算是在大白天也是光线不足, 终日阴沉沉的; 夜晚在阶梯上亮着的一盏小灯由于是挂着的, 因此每当有风吹过, 小灯便一晃一晃地摇着, 使本已够吓人的环境更为吓人.

年老的王叔和老婆以及两位女儿便居住在大坡的一座这样的屋子里, 由于王叔一家四口住在顶层三楼, 每到夜晚大女儿阿英与二女儿阿丽都不敢踏出房门半步.

王叔虽然穷, 但是同住在一起的邻居都很友善, 总是王叔前王叔后的叫着, 一家四口的日子倒也过得去, 直至......

x x x x x

"爸爸.....呜....." 阿英与阿丽伏在床头对着王叔的遗体放声大哭, 王婶整个人倚在墙边掩面痛哭, 一时令人心酸的哭嚎声布满整个房间. 左邻右舍知晓王叔去世后, 都纷纷过来帮忙年毕竟是多年的老邻居而且王叔去世后又只留下王婶母女三人, 大女儿才十七岁. 怎不令人同情呢?

"王婶, 你要节哀顺变, 这个家往后还得靠你撑下去."

"是啊, 你得赶快叫人来搭灵堂, 准备一切灵柩所需要的东西, 随便订一个棺木, 让王叔早日入土为安." 邻居们纷纷提出意见.

"我那有钱叫人来搭灵堂和订棺柩, 我们的处境你们又不是不明白." 王婶一边说一边檫眼泪.

"哎呀, 王婶, 我们都是多年的邻居了, 我们都很明白你们的处境, 别担心. 不够的我们大伙儿便帮你凑足它好了." 住在二楼的明叔代表着大家说.

"真谢谢你们了." 王婶搂着两个女儿不停地向众人道谢.

所谓人多好办事, 当天中午灵堂与棺柩也连续办妥了. 事情办妥了, 问题也来了, 王叔的遗体该怎么移到楼下的灵堂呢? 王婶母女三人根本力不从心, 二楼的明叔与楼下的发叔都不愿触动死人, 最后好不容易才用钱聘请到两位年老的"苦力"动手把王叔的遗体搬到楼下去.

"小心点, 梯口阴暗, 拜托, 千万小心点." 王婶不安地看着两名工人辛苦地抬着王叔下着梯阶.

突然"碰"的一声巨响, 王叔头部撞在梯级上. 原来搬运工人年老无力, 不知怎么的手一滑, 一松, 王叔的上半身便往下掉, 撞在梯阶上发出巨响.

大家都被这突来的事故吓得不知所措, 王婶更是吓得脸无血色, 心里只想着一件事:--

糟了, 如果老伴的头撞破了该怎么办? 如果头破流出液体又该如何? 当真要我低着头去舔它吗? 那有多骇人, 但若无亲人去舔液体便不会停止的流, 该怎么办?

原来, 相传如果死人的头部在死后被撞破或檫伤便会不停地流出液体, 必须由亲人以舌头舔着伤口才能使它停止...

隔了好一会儿, 明叔才破口大骂, 指那名搬运工人不该那么粗心, 幸好王叔的头部并没有撞伤或擦伤.

之后, 几个较有力气的男人七手八脚的, 总算好不容易的把王叔的遗体搬迁到楼下的灵堂去.

经过几天的守柩, 忙了几天总算把王叔的丧事办妥了.

一切相安无事直至王叔的头七, 回魂夜.....

x x x x x

在半夜两点许, 明叔忽然觉得肚子痛, 只好起身飞奔去厕所.

就在他经过二楼与三楼的梯阶时, 隐隐看到一名男子慢慢地爬上楼梯. 由于明叔的肚子闹得实在利害, 也没停下来看看是谁便直冲进厕所.

在他解决后才想到刚才似乎是王叔的背影, 不过在黑暗里看不清楚, 更何况他从不信有鬼魂这回事, 便没放在心上, 也没向任何人提起.

另一方面, 王婶在当晚梦到王叔回来. 只见他一直默默地站在床前望着她们母女三人. 怪的是不只王婶一人梦到王叔, 连阿英与阿丽都有着同样的梦. 到底是纯属巧合, 还是王叔真的当晚回来看她们? 这个问题始终是个疑问, 根本无人能回答.

几天后, 三楼榕叔的儿子阿标在半夜航海回来......

阿标一边爬上楼梯一边露出喜悦的笑容; 经过几个月的航海生活, 总算又回到自己温暖的家, 叫他怎能不开心呢? (待续...)

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名言 / Quotes

听过一些 "名言", 与你分享:-







老婆, 如果你离开我

Came across some good quotes, share with you:-

You won't listen to others
If you listen, you won't understand
If you understand, you won't do
If you do, you won't do it right


You decide on major issues
I decide on minor issues
What is considered as major or minor
I shall decide


I made 2 big mistakes in my life
1 is that I married you
the other is that I have not divorced you


My beloved wife
If you were to leave me
I will definitely die
Too happy until I die

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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Old Beng And Lucky Draws

lim peh ka li kong

Last weekend, me and my cha-bo-lang went shopping again. (Ai-yo, friends, no choice la, my children's birthdays in average is very month) and also my cha-bo-lang's birthday, our first-time meeting anniversary, our marriage anniversary, my mum's birthday, my in-law's birthday etc etc so must always buy presents.

While walking near CK Tang's, we were stopped by a young man.

"Hello, sir, can you spare me 1 minute? We have a free lucky draw and a sure win prize waiting for you." The young man told us.

Me of course stopped and listened to him la, who knows, sekali me lucky lucky strike a big prize then can save money to buy presents.

"So, what prizes you have and how can I join the lucky draw?" Me asked the young man.

"We have a grand prize which is free accommodation in overseas 5 stars hotel and many electrical appliances and handphones and shopping vouchers and..."

Before the young man finished his speech, my cha-bo-lang pulled my hand and said, "Sorry, we are not interested" and my cha-bo-lang pulled me away from where we stood.

"But ... but... I want to try the lucky draw leh, who knows..." me refused to leave just like that since lucky draw was free one.

"Ok, then you can stay and have your lucky draw and I shall go to Isetan and shop first. You may join me later when you WIN your prize." my cha-bo-lang let go of my hand and walked away.

"Er...lau po..." before I could stop her, she walked away very quickly and the young man stopped me to fill up an entry form.

"Sir, before you have your lucky draw, I have to fill up your particulars first, ok?" the young man said.


"Old Beng"




"Last time everyday now thrice a week"

The young man stopped his writting and looked at me with a very surprised look.

"Huh what? Oops, I mean male la. Actually no need to ask la, you cannot tell that I am a man meh?" Me answered quickly to cover my malu-ness.


"PKL, er... I mean office-boy."

"Do you stay in Condo?"

"No, HDB"

"Do you own a car?"

"No, but got 1 van"

"Do you have a digi-cam?"


"Any children?"

"Yeah, 12"


"12! One dozen! 十二! "

The young man stopped his writing and told me that I was not qualified for the lucky draw. I was puzzled and asked him for the reason and he told me that in order to be qualified for the lucky draw, one must earns at least a decent disposable income (minimum 2 thousands) and the ability to go for holiday every year but viewing my profile of having 12 children and don't even have a digi-cam and no car, definitely won't go for holiday and they only gave lucky draw to people who would attend their tour talk before the lucky draw.

In other words, if you were a low income earner, you are not qualified for the lucky draw.

What kind of lucky draw was that? Just because me no earn much and cannot afford to go for tour and no stay in Condo and no car and no digicam so cannot join the lucky draw? &?@$%£&% Phui. Sorry for the vulgarity.

Me angry and walked away, to join my cha-bo-lang for shopping, feeling very insulted.

When my cha-bo-lang saw me face black black walked to her, she told me that all lucky draws, especially those stopping you at the roadside, are most likely fake ones. Where got free lunch in Singapore?

Yeah, now I know.

lim peh kong wan liao


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我的"心水"粤语歌, 当然口味人人不同, 这些只是我的所爱.

1. 天各一方 : 刘德华
"...贪求思慕只因痴, 一切眼泪思忆都是徒然..."
* 对白精采, 可惜唱功一般 *

2. 单车 : 陈奕迅
* 一首描述父子情的好歌; 树欲静而风不止, 子欲养而亲不在...忆先父 *

3. 陌上归人 : 欧瑞强
"...重回觅爱恋, 爱情路比千陌乱..."
* 很温馨的一首民歌 *

4. 今天我非常寂寞 : 阿B 钟镇涛
" ...今天我满怀寂寞..."
* 寂寞有时是很可怕的, 无处不在, 无孔不入,总在你最脆弱的时候排山倒海的侵袭你…;一首不能在寂寞时听的歌 *

5. 昨迟人 : 许志安
"...我在昨日為何迟未說出, 心中想告訴你那些话..."
* 词曲皆佳, 听出耳油 *

6. 侬本多情 : 张国荣
"...情爱就好象一串梦, 梦醒了一切亦空..."
* 当初第一次听到这首歌, 被歌词深深吸引着… *

7. 幻影 : 阿伦
"...幻像似的爱情, 始終會消失去, 那幻影卻一一再現我心底 ..."
* 电影 <阴阳错> 的主题曲, 个人觉得是阿伦最好听的歌之一 *

8. 海誓山盟 : 林子祥
"...無止境的等, 不禁心動搖, 一分一刻也感到寂寥, 卻总想到唯有你, 叫這一生再沒缺少..."
* 好歌手, 好歌曲, 好喜欢的一首歌 *

9. 一生不可自决 : 陈百强
"...谁个又会並沒欠缺, 曾心爱的为何分別, 和不爱的年年月月, 一生不可自決..."
* 陈百强好歌不少, 可惜英年早逝 *

10. 石头记 : 达明一派
"...一心把思緒拋卻以虛如真, 深院內旧梦复浮沉, 一心把生关死结与酒同飲, 焉知那笑晏藏泪印 ..."
* 红楼梦的意念, 诗般的歌词 *

11. 再遇 : 黄凯芹
"...就让痛楚 教我知道谁是錯, 曾錯过 怎可一再錯..."
* 与另一首歌 <伤感的恋人> 比较, 还是喜欢这首, 特别这句"曾錯过 怎可一再錯" *

12. 缠绵游戏 : 梁汉文
"...缠绵遊戏过后, 为何情不可永久, 是事实並沒有真爱, 或跟本我未看透..."
* 在现在的社会, 爱情到底是否还存在着? *

13. 真的爱你 : Beyond
"...爱意宽大是无限, 请准我说声, 真的爱你..."
* 另一首歌颂亲情的歌曲, 母爱总是伟大的 *

14. 地下情 : 张学友
"...又再抱紧这段緣, 不想失去那一边..."
* 歌曲, 唱功一流, 但意图不良 *

15. 如果你知我苦衷 : 周慧敏
"...如果你知我苦衷, 何以没一点感动..."
* 张国荣的曲加上林夕的词, 一首动听歌曲 *

本想列出<十大>喜爱粤语歌曲, 却发现好歌太多, 无发割捨, 那就这样吧.

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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Smiles And The World Smiles With You

In February this year, my wife and I went to Madrid and Paris and she bought a beautiful book about "Animals and Smiles" and the title is "Smile And The World Smiles With You", author David Baird, publisher MQ Publications Limited.

Like to share with you :- (to enlarge, click on individual picture)

** Source from "Smile And The World Smiles With You" - Author: David Baird (publisher MQ Publications Limited) **

So, starting from today, please smile whenever you can :)


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Monday, October 17, 2005

Favourite English Songs

I was reading a blog from a blogger by the nick name of "Ghost" and decided to share my favourite songs with you too.

This is the blog-site which I saw:-
  • Ghost's top ten

  • * source from "Ghost" *

    Old Beng's Favourite English Songs

    1. Love, Me : Collin Raye
    "...between now and then, till I see you again, I'll be loving you, Love me..."
    * All time favourite *

    2. Just Tell Me You Love Me : England Dan & John Ford Coley
    "...just tell me you love me, whisper words I've so long to hear..."
    * A song which Old Beng sang to his Cha-bo-lang *

    3. Without You : Harry Nilsson
    "...I can't live, if living is without you..."
    * Original version, not the one sang by Air Supply or Mariah Carey *

    4. Stories : Chi Yu
    "Now I'm standing here, no one to wipe away my tears..."
    * One of the few Chinese Single who can sing an English song well *

    5. Papa : Paul Anka
    "...Growing up with him was easy, time just flew on by,
    The years began to fly, He aged and so did I..."
    * A song that makes Old Beng think of his late father everytime he heard the song *

    6. Careless Whisper : George Michael
    "...So I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with you.."
    * A classic *

    7. Goodbye Girl : David Gates
    "All your life you've waited, for love to come and stay ..."
    * A nice song to be listened to on rainy nights *

    8. The One You Love : Randy Vanwarmer
    "... Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you, or are you going back to the one you love ..."
    * 2 is company and 3 is a crowd, hope nobody will face such situation *

    9. I Don't Want To Talk About It : Rod Stewart
    "I don't want to talk about it, how you broke my heart,
    if I stay here just a little bit longer, if I stay here,
    won't you listen to my heart, my old heart..."
    * Perfect song, perfect lylics, perfect voice for the song *

    10.Sometimes When We Touch : Dan Hill
    "...And sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much,
    And I have to close my eyes and hide...
    ...I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides..."
    * A must sing song in Karaoke *


    11.Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word : Elton John
    "...Why can't we talk it over...sorry seems to be the hardest word..."
    * Heard this song once at late late night over the radio and gosh, how it touched my heart *

    The above Oldies are usually appreciated by oldies, people like Old Beng. For those who have never heard of them are probably too young, but then again, songs are very subjective.

    Will share my favourite Chinese and Cantonese Songs later.

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    Grandpa And Grandson

    You may have heard this one but I think it is cute and want to share with you.


    One day, grandpa and his beloved grandson were walking home after the grandson's school and while they were walking towards the lift of their flats, just before stepping into the void-deck, a plastic pail dropped from the second storey.

    Think the owner of the pail might have left it there to dry after using it.

    Coincidentally, the pail hit the grandpa just as he was walking into the void-deck but luckily it did not drop from a very high floor so no great injury was done just maybe a little dizziness and shock to the poor grandpa

    While the grandpa sat in the void deck to catch his breath, he told his grandson to go up to the unit which dropped the pail and tell them about the incident.

    The grandson went up to the unit, knocked on the door, and told the owner this:-

    "Gong gong gong, gong gong gong gong, gong gong gong."


    Don't understand? Please read it in Hokkien again.

    Ok, I shall put in the punctuation marks and hope it will help:-

    "Gong gong gong, gong gong gong gong, gong gong gong."
    1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th 8th 9th 10th

    Still don't understand, ok I shall explain:-

    The first 3 "gong gong gong" is referring to "grandpa says".

    The fourth "gong" is referring to the "pail".

    The fifth "gong" is referring to "knock".

    The sixth and seventh "gong gong" is referring to "grandpa".

    The eighth and ninth "gong gong" is referring to "grandpa" again.

    The last "gong" is referring to "giddiness"

    So, the whole sentence read as:

    "Gong gong gong, gong gong gong gong, gong gong gong"

    "Grandpa says, pail knock grandpa, grandpa dizzy".

    Hokkien - what a dialect.

    Hope you catch the joke :)


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    Saturday, October 15, 2005

    男人本色 / The True Colour Of Man


    这世上生存着两种人 --- 男人与女人.

    啊, 那些介于男人与女人之间的 "二合一" 的人是另一个空间的话题.

    女人大多数都是可爱的, 也十分值得身为男人的我们去疼爱她们. 但, 目睹各种各类的男人的所作所为, 真叫我感到惭愧与羞耻.

    男人们都希望女朋友是处女, 却从不重视自己的操行, 毕竟男人是否还是处男根本无从知晓.

    男人都希望自己的女朋友对他忠心不二, 自己却如八爪鱼, 四处探索女伴.

    有亲密女友的男人总会四处去找更多的女伴, 而死也不承认已有女朋友.

    有些男人只与女人出去一两次, 看看戏, 吃顿饭, 便大言不惭的认为已是对方的男朋友.


    男人与男人之间的名言 :"何必为了一棵树而放弃了整座森林, 更是令女人们恨得咬牙切齿. 其实, 就算给了他整座森林, 也只能栖身于一棵树上.

    知道 "男欢女爱" 何解吗?

    男人只要欢乐, 女人只要爱. 如此而已!!!

    男人的毛病其实是数不完的, 花心本是男人的本性.



    The True Colour Of Man
    (A Chinese article written some 15 years ago) - translation for my non-Chinese freinds

    In our present society, there are, basically, 2 types of people - Men and Women. Oh, those in between under classification of "2-in-1" is a total different entity which will not be discussed here.

    In my opinion, most women are cuties and definitely worth men's efforts to treat them well and "sayang" them. But having seen some men's behaviours, as a man myself, I felt ashamed and embarrassed at times.

    Man will want his girlfreind to be a virgin yet never spare the slightest thought of disciplining himself and save his virginity since there is no way to prove whether or not a guy is still a virgin, unlike woman.

    Man always wishes that his girlfriend to be faithful and loyal to him but he himself is like an octopus, hoping and grabbing for more girls all over the places.

    Man who is attached will deny having one and still hunting around for more girls.

    Some man, after going out with a girl for a couple of times maybe to the movies or having meals, will self-proclaimed as the boyfriend of the girl. The worst types are those men who had paid for the movies and meals will be expecting to gain something as rewards from the girl.

    There is a famous phrase in the vocabulary of the men which made the girls agitated and sore :"Men should not give up the whole forest just because of 1 tree." But, even if you were given the whole forest, you can only stay in 1 tree.

    There is a Chinese phrase which means Men only want happiness and Women only want love.

    Men, I believe, have lots and lots of problems.



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    Friday, October 14, 2005

    Old Beng Went for Lunch

    lim peh ka li kong

    Today me went for lunch hor, kena one incident made me very buay song (not happy), darn suay, phui !!!

    Today I no lunch kaki so bo-bian went alone but actually I quite like to have lunch alone cos I will have time for myself, no need to wait for the other colleagues of mine thinking and considering where to eat, what to eat, you know la, especially the aunties in my office. Wa-piang, consider and consider and consider until the cows go home still don't know what to eat. Hello aunties, lunch time only 1 hour and you all used 30 minutes to decide what to eat?

    Back to my lunch time incident. Me was walking and thinking which shop to eat and then me saw a group of "chio" OL (OL = Office Lady) eating in a noodle shop. I also decided to eat in the same shop because the food there look not bad la (the shop got big big signage with beautifully taken photographs of its menu) er...yeah la, I admit there was another factor also influenced my decision. The chio OL not only figures chio, dressings also chio type, me hope everyday lunch time can accidentally meet them and have lunch together (although sit different table) rather then my usual OA gang (OA = Office Aunty).

    After I finished seeing the menu, I decided to eat duck noodle - the Hong Kong style, the noodle like wanton noodle type and the duck skin very chrispy one and the price was reasonable - only $3 per plate.

    While waiting for my food, I overheard the group of OL talking. Not purposely want to KPO hear what they said but they were talking too loudly and the topic was something very interesting to me - BLOGGERS.

    Ha, since now I also considered myself a blogger (although not very high class one), I was rather interested in their conversation.

    "Woei, you all got go see the blog by Rockson or not?"

    "Rockson? Who is he?"

    "Ai-yo, you always go read blogs yet you don't know him, how can? His blog very funny one and he always scolds and criticises everything and anything but his writing style very vulgar and are mostly written in the mixture of Hokkien. So unless you understand Hokkien, you won't know that he is scolding bad words but hor I like to read his blog very much and learn some Hokkien bad words, he he he."

    Alamak, how can girls like that? She knows more Hokkien Vulgar vocabulary must get so happy meh? Don't understand leh, Vulgarity is nothing special in our society now especially among the youngsters. Who don't know a vulgar word or two, it's only does a person use it often? While I was thinking about vulgarity words, the OL continued to talk.

    "I only visit xiexue and blinkymummy blog cos they represent the new girl generation and dare to speak their mind."

    "I read ....."

    At that moment, I felt like interrupting them and ask them whether they got read Old Beng's blog or not? Luckily my duck noodle came just before I asked them the question.

    When I looked at the plate of noodle, first thing that came into my mind was whether the plate was really duck noodle or not because I could not see any duck meat at all. When I poked the chopsticks into the noodles and stirred, then I managed to see a few small pieces of miserable duck meat. (I think if eye-sight a little bit not good also cannot see the meat).

    Wait a minute, why the duck noodle looked totally different from the menu one? I expected the Hong Kong style, the plate I received was the "Sab-kum Hor-Fun" style with thick gravy and the duck skin not crispy at all. I called the young girl (I presume was the waitress since she took my order and served me the noodle) and voiced out my query why the duck noodle I received was totally different from the signage one?

    The young waitress excused herself and went into the kitchen behind and talked to her boss cum cook.

    10 seconds later, she came out and gave me the following answer.

    "Uncle, my lao-ban-niang (lady boss) said our duck noodle is like that one. No choice."

    Huh, "like that one" and I have to eat whether or not the food is served correctly? I was about to raise my voice to show my "displease-ness", then through the corner of my eyes, I saw the group of chio OL looking at me.

    " that ah, ok lor, I very chin-chai one but please tell you lao-pan-niang to change the signage la, cannot show one thing and serve another thing la, not right leh."

    How can I raised voice and lose my "gentlemanism" in front of the group of chio OL? So bo-pian, LL (lugi lugi not the other LL) ate the duck noodle unhappily but I already paid so must finished the noodle la, now economy not good, $3 also cannot waste.

    lim peh kong wan liao

    PS: Next week will try to go there to eat again :p


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    My Boss And Me

    lim peh ka li kong

    Today I received an email from my friend and me cannot stop but laugh until tears come out from my eyes. Must share with all of you.

    // Quote //

    My Boss& ME

    When I take a long time.
    I am slow.

    When my boss takes long time
    He is thorough.

    When I don't do it
    I am lazy.

    When my boss doesn't do it
    He is too busy.

    When I do something without being told
    I am trying to be smart.

    When my boss does the same
    That is initiative.

    When I please my boss
    I am apple - polishing

    When my boss pleases his boss
    He's co-operating.

    When I do well, my boss never remembers
    When I do wrong, he never forgets

    ------------Or are we expecting this????------------

    Hi Boss,

    People who do lots of work...
    make lots of mistakes

    People who do less work...
    make less mistakes

    People who do no work...
    make no mistakes

    People who make no mistakes...
    gets promoted

    That's why I spend most of my time
    sending e-mails & playing games at work
    I need a promotion.

    The end of the story is ........... GO BACK TO WORK ;o)

    // Unquote //

    * Source from Miss Bessie Lim *

    lim peh kong wan liao


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    Thursday, October 13, 2005

    Sadness is ...

    Seeing my young children suffered with illness (fever, cold, cough) yet can't help to ease their pain.

    Kena numbers but no kena price in 4D.

    Seeing more and more white hair sprouting out from my head.

    Seeing my bank account figures becoming smaller and smaller.

    With the delicious fried chicken in front of me but cannot eat because my cha-bo-lang says it is too oily for me.

    Did not realise the expiry date for the contest application forms until it is expired.

    Did not have the usual appetite when having buffet meals.

    Eyes not sharp enough to see that the Traffic Police was standing behind the bus stop when I drove inside bus lane during peak hour.

    Forget to insert cash card in the van when entering the ERP gantry.

    When on leave yet fell sick during the period and wasted the day leave.

    When boss instructs me to rush some documents urgently at precisely 17:59 hours after he sees me packing my bag and ready to go home.

    Missed the lift when I am late for work.

    Try to eat into the parking time by tearing the parking coupon starting at a later time and suay suay kena Aunty very on the ball to check that parking area.

    Unable to speak and write better English.

    When my cha-bo-lang always says she is too tired, having a headache/backache/muscle-ache, scared wake the children up, no mood, just bathed, etc etc when Old Beng me want.....

    The list can go on and on and on......


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    Tuesday, October 11, 2005

    Old Beng went to Hawker Centre

    lim peh ka li kong

    Last night, me and my cha-bo-lang went to have dinner after me knock-off and only the two of us without all our children dangling around.

    We usually have a night out for dinner once a week and just the two of us, sort of having quality time together. Couples, especially those married for many years, must find and spend quality time together, if not, how to be loving in the long run? Even until now, after we have been married for so many years, we still hold hands whenever we go out alone and that is something me always enjoy doing.

    Anyway, we went to have our dinner in a hawker centre near our house. As usual la, so very crowded one, since it was after office hour and during dinner time, so we only managed to get to share seats with another young couple. (Think they just came out to work cos they look so fresh even after a day's work.)

    Look at Old Beng me, the face after work is really like over-night hum-ching-peng and also whole face very oily like the oil can drip down my face anytime for cooking.

    The young couple so loving one, me saw the young man kept feeding his girlfriend and wipe the young girl's mouth after she ate every mouth of food. Somemore, the young man never one second shifted his eyes away from the young girl, only look at his girlfriend and nothing else. It's a miracle that he did not put food into his nose since he was eating without looking at his food at all.

    Me looked at the young man and think to myself, I must also be more loving to my cha-bo-lang and so I started to look affectionately at my wife's pretty face and guess what I got in return?

    "Oei, lau beng, kwa si mi? (see what?) Faster eat la, later food cold already not nice," my cha-bo-lang gave me a stare.

    Ai-ya, this cha-bo-lang ah, me trying to be affectionate and maybe can be a romeo like that, yet she asked me see what? Like that how to be a loving husband?

    Then me overheard the couple's conversation that they would go for a movie after their dinner.

    Hmmn, good idea hor, maybe I could also go watch movie with my cha-bo-lang since the last movie we watched together in cinema was the Jack Neo's "Money Not Enough".

    "Er, shall we go watch a show after we eat our dinner?" me asked my cha-bo-lang.

    "You gila ah? Watch movie? You know now watch movie very expensive, better wait for VCD to come out then my friends will buy and then we can borrow from them la, why want to waste money?"

    "Ai-ya, not very expensive also la," me trying to convince her to watch movie with me.

    "Not expensive? You got a lot of money is it? Come, give me. I keep for you." my cha-bo-lang eyeing at my wallet while she talked to me.

    "No no, I no much money," me quickly denied if not later kena chong-kong, then die la.

    While we were eating, an old uncle and a blind woman walked towards us and tried to sell us tissue paper. My reaction then was to wave them away cos I do not need tissue paper la, me used handkerchief one, me very environmental mind.

    Then I saw my cha-bo-lang took out a ten-dollar-note and gave it to the old uncle and got 3 packets of tissue paper from the blind lady.

    Huh? $10 for 3 packets of tissue paper? Didn't my cha-bo-lang read newspaper that sometime, all these tissue paper old uncles/aunties/small children and handicapped people all got some people behind them, like a group of professional con-man?

    I told my cha-bo-lang about what I thought and that she might be bluffed by them and some more she gave $10 for just 3 packets of tissue paper. Asked her see show, she said I waste money but like that gave $10 not waste money meh?

    "Ai-yo lau beng, never mind whether they are genuine or not la. To me, I saw them really handicapped or maybe old and since I can help them by just a mere $10, why not? Ok, even if they really are con-man and what have I got to lose? To me, I see that they are in need and I give them with a helping heart so what if I am conned, I still wont know. Even if I know that they indeed conned me, so what? As I just said, my heart feels right in helping, the rest are secondary to me. My conscience is clear and that's good enough for me to donate money willingly."

    I know I will never be able to argue with my cha-bo-lang so I just kept quiet and continued to indulge myself in my Ice-Kachang.

    After dinner, me and my cha-bo-lang did not go for a movie but had a slow stroll back to our home, hand in hand of course.....

    lim peh kong wan liao

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    Monday, October 10, 2005

    阴阳眼 / YIN YANG EYES


    世人都怕鬼, 大概是因为鬼这"东西"总给人一种阴森, 恐俱的感觉. 人们天生对那些不了解, 无法以科学去解释的事情都存有俱骇的感觉.

    如果以人每天死亡的数量来算, 那从古时至目前变鬼魂的数量不是吓死人!? 普通人很难有机会见到鬼 (幸好是如此), 而根据一个天生有阴阳眼的朋友说, 其实鬼并不多.

    据他说有时七, 八天才见到一只鬼魂, 而且多数都在夜晚见到, 有时整整一个多月也见不到一个"好兄弟".

    这世上有鬼是无法否认, 同时也无法证明的事. 从朋友的眼中见到的鬼有很多种, 但大都沉着脸, 在四处飘荡. 有老, 有少, 有男也有女.

    听说他第一次看到鬼只有七岁, 当时也不懂害怕, 而他所见到的第一只鬼正是他那死去的公公.

    久而久之, 他也开始习惯了.

    农历七月鬼门关大开, 那个月四处都是"好兄弟"们的踪影. 每回他的家人祭拜了鬼魂, 把食物收起以备自用, 我的朋友总是不会去沾那些祭拜过的食品.

    他说他总见到正在祭拜着的食物被一群鬼魂吞嚼然后吐出来, 只是我们肉眼无法见到.

    每年一到七月, 他的体重总会很明显的下降, 真是呜呼哀哉!

    还真亏他说得出习惯成自然, 多看几眼便没事了, 真服了他. 换成是我, 不疯掉才怪.


    YIN YANG EYES - One with the ability to see ghosts.
    (An article written some 15 years ago) - translation for my non-Chinese freinds

    In General, people are afraid of ghosts, the reason can possibly be because we are always afraid of the unknown, and Ghosts seem to give us the creepy errie feeling.

    If the number of ghosts is equivalent to the number of death since the first day of the world, then the number of ghosts will be significantly huge.

    It is in fact a blessing that normal people are not able to see ghosts and according to one of my friend who has "Yin Yang Eyes", there are not many ghosts around us.

    He usually sees one in every 7 to 8 days and usually at night and there's time whereby he did not see one for a longer interval of more than a month.

    Do ghosts exist? This is one issue which cannot be proven. According to my friend, ghosts float around anywhere and everywhere and come in different shapes and sizes but usually having a sulky expression. There are old ones, young ones, male and female ones.

    His first sighting of a ghost was when he was merely 7 years old, a boy too young to even feel afraid and his first encounter was none other than his own late grandfather. Gradually with the constant sightings, my friend has gotten used to it.

    During the Chinese Lunar Seventh Month, whereby the gate of hell is open and all ghosts are allowed to roam our world for a period of one month, my friend will see more ghosts than usual. The Chinese will pray and provide food as offerings to the ghosts and most of them will keep the food after praying for own consumption but my friend will never touch the food at all.

    He once told me that he actually saw the ghosts eating the food and "re-vomit" the food out through their mounths but we are not able to see it with our naked eyes. (No wonder some people said that the food after offerring usual taste lousy or less tasty .)

    Every year during the Chinese Seventh Month, my friend will definitely lose weight and the best part is that he can tell me that after seeing ghosts more often, it has somehow become a routine sight and he no longer feels anything about ghosts anymore.

    Wa-piang, If I were him, I will surely lose all my marbles and enrol myself in Woodbridge Hospital.

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    Sunday, October 09, 2005

    Types of Bloggers

    Just like to share something with all of you.

    In the Blogs World which we can access to today, there are many different types of Bloggers' styles of writing and blogging.

    A) The most common Bloggers - Diary styles. These types of Bloggers are like journals, they write their daily events and share their diaries openly to anyone and everyone. I must say that not everybody's daily life is as interesting as he thought but, Blogs are very personal.

    B) The Professional Bloggers - They are usually very knowledgeable in their field of work-scope, examples are the Doctors, Lawyers, Scientists, Analyst, etc. Their Blogs are usually very technical and in-depth in their topics. I find them rather informative and usually learn a thing or two when I read their Blogs.

    C) The Sex Bloggers - Every entry in their Blogs will involve in the heavy usage of vulgarity and unnecessary phrases involving the "F" word and usually the text will describe sex in details. In a way, it is like reading some pornographic essay.

    D) The Politician Bloggers - These Bloggers are constantly picking on their Government and will keep on criticising until the cows come home. These are usually more common in other countries.

    E) The Cartoon Bloggers - These are my favourite Blogs as Cartoons always make my day probably because I have been an avid comics reader since young.

    F) The Story-Teller Bloggers - These are Bloggers who usually tell stories, whether reciting true stories or just plain fictions, sometime writing as a third party and sometimes disguised as another person with a different personality whatsoever. (Hmmn, sound familiar?)

    G) ......

    So, friends, which type of Blogs do you like and which types turn you off? For me, I visit all types but my style of Blogging is associated with one of those mentioned above.

    Trust the above clarifies.

    lim peh kong wan liao, ha ha ha


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    Saturday, October 08, 2005

    Punishment At Home

    lim peh ka li kong

    Yesterday after work, me went to fetch my mother to my house as my mother missed her 12 grand children since the last time she saw them was 2 weeks ago.

    All my children love their grandmother very much because my mother has been too kind to them and even to the extend of allowing them to do what they want, which sometimes raised conflicts between my mother and my cha-bo-lang. You all know la, me stuck in between darn jia-liat one. Help mother wrong, help cha bo lang also wrong; So normally if conflict arises between them, me will become David Cokkerfield, disappeared into thin air and take cover until the storm calms down.....

    Of course, one other important reason that my 12 children love their grandmother so much is because my mother always buys lots of good food everytime she comes to visit her grand children. (Food whereby both me and my cha bo lang will not normally buy and what we called "junk" food). My cha-bo-lang once told me that it´s okay for the children to enjoy the food my mother bought so long it is not too frequent.

    Anyway, when me and my mother reached home, surprising no children ran out to welcome their beloved papa and grandma. Immediately in my heart I knew my cha-bo-lang was angry again cos I encountered the same type of atmosphere just not too long ago.

    My mind immediately tried to recall what I have talked and put in my blog lately but nothing serious leh, the only displeased my cha-bo-lang told me (in fact scolded me is the better word) was when she saw I uploaded the twin´s photo in my blog and yes that was why the entry was taken out almost immediately - those lucky ones who happened to visit my blog at that short period of time will get a glimpse of the photo).

    I think my mother also sensed the scary atmosphere that was lingering within my house and both of us entered quietly.

    Once in my hall, me saw 3 of my young children (1 boy and 2 girls - age 7,8, and 9 respectively) kneeling at the corner of the hall and pulling their own ears and my cha-bo- lang was sitting on the sofa behind them.

    "Ai-yo! Why my bao-pei (precious) grand children kneeling on the floor?" My mother said and she walked towards the 3 of them. Think she was trying to get them up from their punishment they were having. "Come come, get up children, tell grandma why you all are kneeling down?"

    My cha-bo-lang immediately looked at my mother and said, "Ma, leave them alone. They are not supposed to get up unless they complete the 30 minutes punishment from me."

    Wa, I think my 3 children must have made a very serious mistake because my cha-bo-lang seldomed used such punishment. The usual punishment for being naughty is only go to bed without watching television or no dessert after dinner.

    "Ai-yo, dua-soh, children so young, teach them slowly lor, they don´t know things la, Punish them little bit ok la, no need to make them kneeled for so long la." my mother after talking, turned towards my 3 children again and said," come come children get up, come ah ma here."

    I could see that the youngest boy was already putting down his hands from his ears and was about to get up when he heard my cha-bo-lang said,"Don´t you dare to get up before I say so." Wa, immediately my young son pulled his ears again and kneeled very still.

    "Ma, how many times must I tell you, when I disciplined my children, no one is to interfere? Some more you don´t know what wrong they had done so how can you stop them from getting the punishment?" My cha-bo-lang told my mother. "When I brought them out shopping this afternoon, they were running and playing at the carpark. I already told them not to play at the car parks as you know they are so short and drivers can´t see them and it is very dangerous. These 3 naughty children, despite my warning, maybe too engross in their playing, continued to run wild. How can I not punish them?"

    "Anyway, for whatever reason for punishment they get from me or lau beng, please bear in mind that you are not to interfere." My cha-bo-lang told my mother but with a more tone-down voice.

    "Ma," I led my mother to the sofa and said,"Please dont spoil the children la. They deserved to have their punishment. Young is not an excuse, we dont want something to happen then we all regret and anyway, kneeling is ok one la. The last time me lost my 1 month salary on gambling, I was also punished by kneeling but worst, kneeling on "hum-kak" (cockle shells)."

    "Huh!?! Hum-kak, siong or not?" My mother asked me.

    I did not answer my mother but just wiped away the teardrop which was tangling at the corner of my eye.

    lim peh kong wan liao


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    Friday, October 07, 2005

    Happiness is.. ...

    Waking up in the morning with your loved one beside you.

    Getting bear hugs and kisses from my lovely children.

    A good massage from my cha bo lang after a hard day's work.

    Seeing my 12 children growing up healthily and happily everyday.

    A pat on your shoulder from friends when you are down.

    A tub of Ice-cream when you feel blue.

    Able to eat mummy's cooking regularly.

    Seeing the counter in my BLOG going up and up and up...

    Dig "gold" from my nose without my cha bo lang knowing.

    Able to fart as and when I like.

    Receiving unexpected Bonus from the company.

    Knowing so many cyber friends without actually meeting them.

    The sensational feeling of sweat dripping down my back after exercising.

    Be able to get away for a short trip with cha bo lang only.

    Read a good book, listen to a good song and watch a good show.

    The list can go on and on and on......


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    Your Honour, don't be angry, I shall kowtow to you...

    Ooooh....Ahhhhhhh....court dismissed...we shall continue....tomorrow...

    Your Honour, she has been working for 2 hours, can we be released?

    Come come, don't shy, join her, 2 is better than 1.

    Huh?!?!?! This is all we do.....



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    Wednesday, October 05, 2005

    Old Beng Went To The Seaside

    lim peh ka li kong

    Last Saturday, Old Beng brought his whole family to the seaside for a relaxing day.

    Seaside!?! What can we do there? Well, we can swim, cycle, roller-blading, fly kite, throw and catch frisbee, picnic and most important of all, me can see all the young and energetic girl girl in their shorts, ha ha ha. (Their long tanned legs always caught my eyes without fail.)

    In the morning, my cha-bo-lang prepared a big pot of curry chicken and some sandwiches as food is the most important issue in Old Beng's big family. Of course important la, 14 mouths to feed hor. (My cha-bo-lang can make many different types of sandwiches - cheese, egg, butter, tuna, sardine, ham, tarayaki chicken, and many many mouth-drooling types.)

    I think the phrase "The right way to capture a man's heart is through his stomach" is correct, although my friend Lau Qin said the right place is below the stomach la. No understand leh???

    We also bought 4 long "sharp-head" french bread for us to eat with the curry chicken.

    "Oei, lau beng, what "sharp-head" bread you are talking? They are called "Baguette" la." My cha-bo-lang corrected my English. Oei! Correct my English in my blog? Make me malu only. Next time can tell me quietly or not, so I not so pie seh? Me got many friends here, ok!?!

    Anyway, never mind what they are called la, to me they are just roti and the sharp head kind is best to eat with curry. These "baguette" also goes along well with Mutton Soup la, imagine eating Curry or Mutton Soup with ordinary white bread...... no shiok right?

    After a long journey of about an hour (courtesy to my old van), we finally reached East Coast Park and found a cooling place under the trees.

    While me and my cha-bo-lang laid the food down, all our children (the older ones) dispersed in groups of 2 or 3. Me saw my eldest son Xiao Ma Ge (Little horse man) walking with 2 of our younger daughters along the coast looking for seashells. 2 of my boys went roller-blading, some girls went building sand-castles and others just ran around playing with frisbee.

    After the food and paper plates and drinks were laid properly, old beng joined my sons and daughters in a game of throwing and catching frisbee. Wa-piang, don't admit old also cannot, just 5 minutes already starting to pant like an old dog with tongue tangling out. Cannot la, must rest for a while, think bcos lately just recovered from a cold that's why stamina not so good liao. Must make sure resume my daily workout to regain my fit fit health.

    While sitting down beside my cha-bo-lang, me saw my oldest son, Xiao Ma Ge, walking back with my 2 daughters and both the young girls were crying.

    When they reached where we were sitting, my cha-bo-lang asked our son why the 2 sisters were crying?

    "Mummy, kor kor dont let me take the balloon near the trees there, boo hoo hoo!" cried one of my young daughters.

    My Xiao Ma Ge with his whole face red, explained softly in my right ear.

    "Are you sure they are condos and not balloons?" Me didn't believe what my son just told me.

    "Pa, it's condoms not condos." Xiao Ma Ge said, "somemore they were used ones so how can I let mei mei take?"

    Cha-bo-lang turned to our crying daughters and told them to stop crying and must listen to what their kor kor said and with a sandwich each, our 2 young daughters stopped crying and in just a while, totally forgot why they were crying in the first place.

    Alamak, how can these people just throw anyhow their used condos, er... I mean condoms, like that very no good leh.

    Please hor, people who cannot afford to go motel or hotel, kindly cleared up your mess after action la especially in the public places. Maybe I am wrong, they not cannot afford but like the natural atmosphere for action.

    Me felt very puzzled leh, in the open sure must keep an eye around to prevent people from peeping so how to enjoy? Somemore, sure got intruders like ants la, flies la and worst of all - mosquitoes, somemore if kena the dengue type how? Cannot imagine, action halfway got to stop and scratch scratch here and scratch scratch there, tak shiok la.

    lim peh kong wan liao

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    Sunday, October 02, 2005


    lim peh ka li kong

    In our hectic and fast moving society today, true friends have never been easy to find; Having a true friend may, due to our daily chores and working lives, then drift apart and gradually become not as close as we used to be.

    When we were in our schooldays, we had some very close-friends and we may even have vowed to be friends forever.

    I can proudly say, "Yeah, I still have 2 very close friends (we have known one another since our day one in our primary one class - a long 33 years till today) whereby we will meet once in every few months.

    In my mind, I always think that friends are easy to make but true friends are hard to come by.

    Then, by accident I stumbled into Yahoo Message Boards without the slightest idea what YMB is all about.

    Reading the threads; Seeing the angry arguments; Shake my head with a saddened heart - Singaporeans!?!

    After a short period of less than 2 months, through the communication via YMB, I made many friends, although in this cyberspace, all are faceless : Gender? Age? Size? Race? Nationalilty? Professional? But I know I have made many friends though they, like old beng, have no idea who I am in actual life but cyberly speaking, we are friends and that brings out a smile from my heart.

    lim peh kong wan liao

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    Old Beng had A Dream

    Note: Those who have never visited YMB, I presume the following blog means no sense at all. The following blog is solely for my friends in Yahoo Message Boards. Without the encouragement from you, this blog will never have happened.


    lim peh ka li kong

    Last night, me had a very bizarre dream. I was in a beautiful playground YMB and I realised I was once again a small boy.

    Wa-piang, so many children and groups were formed at different corners. Let me kay poh kay poh go near and see see look look what the children were talking.

    2 groups of children were arguing loudly about religion issue and arguing non-stop with praises to their religion and condemned the other party with hash words. Wah, the argument got more and more heated up and nasty words were exchanged. As me very scared to see people quarrelling, me quickly walked away. Come on children, dont quarrel la, can?

    Turn a different corner and I saw 3 cute little girls, Dewi, Zar and Loverly, playing hide and seek happily.

    Further down the road, 2 football fans were talking about their favourite team - gunner said Arsenal is the BEST and wonthurt sided Liverpool. Ai-ya, no need to argue la, the ball is round and by the way, Old Beng me support S. League - Ole ole ole.

    Then suddenly, Chao Ah Beng appeared and we were talking using our mother language (the one taught by our mothers - Hokkien). We talked so loudly and attracted many others to join us in our conversations, haoliankia, telok, qin shi huang, and many more also joined in our Hokkien conversation. Suddenly, a noti boy "no more idea" appeared and scolded us for talking in Hokkien and said we are a bunch of low class low formed hokkien speaking boys and after 40 years we will still be a low class nation.

    Before any of us can say anything, Qin Shi Huang took out a "Dog-beating-stick" and wanted to beat the "no more idea" but lucky he ran off but I saw 2 boys chasing after him, Toony said, "no more idea, how is your grandfather´s daughter?" and another boy without eyes said "&/%?@#$%" - sorry ah, must censored la, words too chim for little children to understand.

    Then a very pretty girl (although is self-proclaimed but give her the benefit of doubts) walked past us very quickly. Qin Shi Huang called out "Chi Chi, where you going, come join us la" but before the pretty girl can answer us, a handsome boy from a distance was running towards us and calling Chi Chi to wait for him. "Sorry, Qin, I must faster run away because I dont like to see that handsome boy" Chi Chi said and she disappeared into thin air since then. Pretty girl, where are you, many people missed you very much and hope to see you talk again in this playground.

    "See, those STUPID people are talking nonsense again and fighting among themselves, ha ha ha" 1 Ah Neh was talking to another PRC boy. "Yeah la, so STUPID people, that is why they employed me to come here to guide them." Immediately the boy without eyes again appeared and scolded them,&/%?@#$%" with words too chim to comprehend.

    Suddenly me saw 2 lovely dogs running and playing happily. The 2 owners were very pretty girls and me walked towards them and heard 1 girl calling out for her lovely dog, "pebble, come here, dont run too far off, come play near me together with Danny boy". Then I realised the other girl is a kan-tan Angel.

    Before I had the chance to talk to the 2 pretty girls, I heard my cha-bo-lang calling me, "lau beng, wake up la, time to send the children to school."

    Then I realised it was all a dream. For all those who appeared in my bizarre dream, please dont scold me hor, a dream is nothing but a dream. For all those who did not appear in my dream but were wishing to be part of my dream, let me try to see whether tonight can dream some more or not.

    While I was sitting at the edge of my bed thinking of the dream, my cha-bo-lang suddenly screamed beside me, "Ai-yo, lau beng! Why you open your mouth in your sleep again, see now the pillow also wet with your saliva already." (please hor, confirmed it is my saliva and nothing else.)

    lim peh kong wan liao


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    一样平淡 一样黯然无光



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    Saturday, October 01, 2005


    年纪小, 写下一些文章投在报章与杂志上,


    有人曾对我说, "如果一个人来到这个世界而不曾深深爱过, 那么他的一生可说是浪费了."

    对于那些不曾深爱过, 甚至于连恋爱也不曾谈过的人, 我觉得很可惜. 每一个人都应该尝一尝恋爱的滋味, 那种令你又喜悦, 又担忧, 令你心跳加速, 时时刻刻都想见对方的感觉.

    如果你曾经深爱过, 我想你会明白我的意思.

    在这世上, 有谁能逃过这个情字?

    爱情降临时, 别躲避它; 爱情消失时, 别试着挽留它; 那决不是你我所能控制的.

    往往你得付出很大的代价, 却只得回那一点点的少许快乐.


    爱情能使你喜悦至九重天, 也能使你跌进永无超生的深渊里.

    万一, 我是说如果有万一, 一对恋人的爱情已演变为一种惯性, 那时爱情已不再存在了, 存在着的只是感情.

    当爱情成为生活中的一部份, 彼此的存在只是生活中的习惯, 那是最可悲的一件事.


    其实不然,感情是不会死的, 只会退色; 除非你完完全全不再有情.

    没有人能逃出爱情的旋涡, 就算能又会有几个人想逃呢?

    爱情是最温柔的, 也是杀伤力最强的.

    如果你曾有过爱情, 我想你会明白我的意思.

    如果你不曾谈过恋爱也不要紧, 也许若干年后, 你会明白.

    不过当你领略到爱情的杀伤力后, 想必已是伤痕累累了.

    你只能默默地抚摸自己的伤痕, 舔着自己的伤口.

    时间是不会使伤口痊愈的, 永远不会.

    每天在世界每个角落, 不知有多少爱情开始与结束, 每一个开始与结束都是可歌可泣的.

    爱情消失后不必对人诉说, 你的曾经也是许多人的曾经.

    也不必埋怨对方, 伤害肯定是双方面的.

    受伤的不只是你, 你伤得多重, 对方也同样受伤不轻.

    心痛有时是美妙的, 至少你能体验到那一阵阵的疾痛.

    人, 只要一踏入情的界限里, 伤害的来临只是时间的问题.


    情之为物, 害人害己!

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    Old Beng Went Shopping

    lim peh ka li kong

    Last weekend, me and my family went to shopping in Orchard Road again but this time all my children went with us. My buddy Ah Huat told me if old uncle like me went out already difficult to attract the attention of girls somemore bring my children with me lagi worst la, where got chio-bu (pretty sexy girls) would like to come and talk to me? This Ah Huat ah, married already still thinking of attracting girls, later Ah Huat Soh knows ah, then he "Or-bak-kak", I will laugh at him.

    Actually, his thinking not right, everytime girl girl see me with my cute pair of 3-year-old twins, they sure will come and cho-cho us one. Sometime met girls more open-minded hor, when they see all 12 children calling me daddy, they will winked at me saying that I must be very strong one in order to have so many children. Sure must be strong la, you try carrying 12 children, no strength how can tahan? Luckily my cha-bo-lang always cooks good and healthy food for all of us and frequent work out also help me one.

    We went to a big shopping centre and Wa-piang, whoever says Singapore got recession one ah, the people there buy things like no need money leh.

    One thing I like to share, why are people so rude nowadays ah? During an interval of 30 minutes, I was knocked, pushed, brushed, elbowed, banged with plastic bags by many people and some more stepped by a fat aunty on my toes.

    I understand that it is sometimes inevitable to knock onto someone especially if the area is crowded but at least apologised after that la, hello basic mannerism also dont have, is it?

    Then hor, as if not enough unlucky, I kena another incident which almost landed me in jail and on the front cover of the newspapers.

    I was carrying one of my twin daughters in my hand and there was this young lady wearing a pair of hipster jeans walking in front of me. Think this lady was about mid twenties, and her hipster was very low, at least half her moon-size can be seen.

    Just as we were standing on an escalator moving upwards, to my horror, I saw my little twin daughter stretched her small hand and touched the lady´s backside who was standing in front. I wasn´t quick enough to stop my daughter and the lady in front turned around and asked me loudly, "Uncle, why you touched me?"

    Oh My Gosh!!! I immediately apologised to her and explained that it was my little daughter who touched her and not me. But the lady refused to believed me and kept saying loudly as if she wanted the whole world to hear. "Dont use your daughter as an excuse to go around touching and molesting and raping young pretty girls like us hor, uncle!"

    "Hello, miss, I already told you it was my daughter who touched you hor, not me and I already say sorry to you on behalf of my daughter, so you better watch what you say - what touching and molesting and raping?" "If you didnt do, why you apologised?"

    Luckily at that moment, a middle age Malay aunty who was standing behind us all the while told the young lady that it was indeed my little daughter who had touched her and not me Old Beng.

    "Er.. ok la, since this aunty said so but uncle, you must be more careful ma, if not people think you molester hor, somemore your hands got tattoo, look like lau ah beng, so cannot blame me"

    Before I could say anything, she turned and walked away.

    What have I done? Just because I had tattoo and look a bit fierce I am also a molester? Think must go for operation to get rid of my tattoo soon

    lim peh kong wan liao


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