lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

What Do You Think? 你怎么看?

lim peh ka li kong

Saw this post by a Singaporean and it keeps me thinking.

你怎么看?

lim peh kong wan liao
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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Snorkeling in Bali

lim peh ka li kong

lim peh remember hor, nong nong time ago (think maybe about 15 years ago liao), me and my cha-bo-lang went to Bali for a short holiday getaway trip.

What can one do when in Bali? 不外是 eating, shopping, sun-tanning, swimming / surfing / snorkeling / diving etc.

So, like most tourists, we did most of the things when we were there.

lim peh remembered that morning, we had a very good breakfast in the hotel : fried noodle, bacon, sausages, toasts, beans, eggs etc and me the typical kiasu Singaporean, lim peh ate until my stomach very full.

After makan, we planned to go for snorkeling (our very first time).


We took a speedboat at the beach near the hotel and after about 30 minutes, the speedboat stopped. lim peh was feeling a bit uncomfortable during the speedboat journey, think must be because lim peh ate too much. ( Orh-bee-good, tam chak la, 吃够本啦。)

I have always known that my cha-bo-lang is "very the brave one", she can do lots of things which are beyond her scope.

lim peh say so because the best part was, my cha-bo-lang couldn't even swim and she dared to jumped into the sea to snorkel (lim peh reckoned it was about 10 m deep or more). Guess she must had felt safe with lim peh around la. (Macho Beng!!! - 几臭美一下。)

Seeing that my cha-bo-lang 敢敢跳下海,lim peh also quickly jumped in after her (You know la, you jump, lim peh jump). We saw some corals and many fishes swimming around us.

lim peh was really surprised to see my cha-bo-lang swimming and snorkeling rather well even though that was her first time doing it.

After snorkeling for about 15 minutes, most of the time holding my breath underwater, lim peh started to feel uncomfortable again so lim peh went up to the speedboat to rest.

lim peh was sitting on the boat watching my cha-bo-lang enjoying her snorkeling....

lim peh almost kong wan liao BUT my cha-bo-lang insisted lim peh to let her finished her side of story, so here she goes

>>>

(From cha-bo-lang):
I was really enjoying my first snorkeling when I saw my Ah pui went up to the speedboat after just a mere 15 minutes in the water. He told me he wasn't feeling so well so taking a short rest.

I continued my wonderful snorkeling watching all the beautiful fishes swimming around me and suddenly I saw all the fishes rushing to the speedboat. Somebody from the speedboat was throwing food into the sea feeding the fishes thus attracting them to swim towards it.

Hmmm.... wonder who was the kind soul but WAIT, could it be what I thought?

OMG!!! Yes, it's what I actually thought, my Ah pui was feeding the fishes with his breakfast (bacon, sausages, egg ...)
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Merlion in Bali
>>>>

Ai-yoh, cha-bo-lang's story makes lim peh so malu~~

lim peh and cha-bo-lang kong wan liao
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Friday, June 17, 2011

Life´s Like That

lim peh ka li kong

Received this email recently, share share:

1). Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue!

2). Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3). Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker..

4). If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it..

5). Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

6). When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

7). Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

8). You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

9). We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

10). A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

lim peh kong wan liao
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Thursday, June 09, 2011

Jokes / 笑话 (RA)

lim peh ka li kong

Wow, 几久 never share some jokes here liao, hope you like these few:

x x x x x

A maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'

Maria: "Well, Madame, there are 3 reasons why I want an increase. The first is dat I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"

Maria: "Sir said so."

Wife: "Oh."

Maria: "The second reason is that I cook better than you."

Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook?"

Maria: "Sir said so."

Wife: "Oh."

Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in bed."

Wife (really furious now): "Did my husband say that as well?"

Maria: "No Madam.......your son's tutor said that."

Wife: "So.........OK......... how much do you want?"

x x x x x

一个大近视眼的女生去买鞋,试穿的时候,把蹲在身前的店员的秃头,看成了自己的膝盖。

那个女生觉得连膝盖都露出来,腿实在是露太多了,赶紧把裙子盖上去,结果害得那店员以为停电了。。


x x x x x

The queen of England was visiting one of Singapore's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient, Lau Hero, was masturbating.

"Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?"

Old Beng the doctor leading the tour explained, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that 5 times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly."

"Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.

On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving another patient, No Eyes, a blow job.

"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"

Old Beng replied, "Same problem, richer patient."

x x x x x

老英雄的太太突发奇想,想让丈夫有个意外惊喜。

於是她载上假发,换上一套全新的衣服,并化了一个与平日不同的妆,然後到老英雄的办公室,卖弄风骚的说:“嗨!帅哥,你想不想和我。。。”

老英雄看了她一眼,立刻打断她的话,说:“不!我什麽也不想,我一看到妳就联想到我的老婆。”

x x x x x

lim peh kong wan liao
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Thursday, June 02, 2011

Midnight FM 播音夜,杀人夜

令伯卡你讲

评戏之4 star rating

5 4 star rating = 超级好戏,非看不可;
4 4 star rating = 好戏,值得购票看;
3 4 star rating = 还可以看;
2 4 star rating = 免费戏票以及有多余的时间才看;
1 4 star rating = 别浪费时间;

最近观赏了好一些韩国电影DVD,其中一部是由刘智太所主演的“Midnight FM” 新加波译为“播音夜,杀人夜”。

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故事大纲
男主角(刘智泰饰演)闯进了女主角(秀爱饰演)的家中,以女主角的妹妹以及女儿为人质,要求女主角,DJ的最后一晚值夜班听从他的指示播歌曲。如有任何差错在播歌上,女主角的亲人将会受伤害。。。

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男主角是我欣赏的刘智泰。他在Ditto里令人喜爱的角色


和在Old Boy 里的大反派都演得入木三分。他似乎非常适合饰演这些变态者,邪邪的,让人望着他就会不由自主的害怕。


在这套“Midmight FM”里,他把变态者的胆大,心细,沉静,果断,无畏的性格演的丝丝入戏。

这套戏好看吗?好看。

从一开始就紧张,一步一步把观众的目光锁定住。从男主角指示的第一首歌,女主角播对歌曲但却是由错歌手所演唱的版本,而令到妹妹被男主角剪断脚趾开始,观众就已被剧情牵着走。

正当我们以为女主角肯定会为了家人的安危着想而尽全力播放男主角所要求的歌曲,电台的高级制作人插了一脚进来,不知事情的严重性而拒绝妥协,令到男主角大开杀戒。

戏中有一段,女主角飞车紧跟着男主角的车而小女儿就被锁在车尾箱里,男主角突然煞车,想要女主角把车撞上他的车尾箱,确实令我看到飙汗。

固禁,折磨,冷血,搏斗,对峙,飞车,所有一切刺激性的片段都有,而且并不像一些韩片那么血腥。

作为一部悬疑片,有超过一百分钟的紧张刺激,“Midmight FM”是成功的。

男主角刘智泰的演技非常精湛,饰演女儿的小演员也让人赞赏,反而女主角秀爱演得好吗?我觉得麻麻地而已,虽然她凭这部戏赢了几个奖。

我给“Midnight FM” 4 4 star rating (好戏,值得购票看)。

令伯讲完了
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