lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Doraemon Magnets Wanted

Still no good news on my Doraemon request???? :(

UPDATE (04th April, 2007)

Countries of magnets which we are still short of:

01 Singapore Have liao
04 Cambodia A kind stranger (pretty girl girl somemore) gave the unopened packet to me at the 7-Eleven and bingo, Cambodia :)
11 France Thanks Elydia
13 Greece Cha-bo-lang's lucky hand
14 Hong Kong
15 Hungary
18 Italy
19 Japan
23 Morocco Cha-bo-lang's lucky hand
26 Russia
34 United States
Special Edition: Suntec City
Special Edition: China Town
Special Edition: Changi Airport

Countries which are available for exchange: Canada; Chile; Denmark; Germany; India; Indonesia; Korea; Nepal; Peru; South Pole; Spain; Taiwan; Thailand; Special Edition(Singapore Skyline) etc;

UPDATE (01st April, 2007)

lim peh ka li kong

Both me and my cha-bo-lang would like to thank Tracy for her kind offer for the exchanging of the Doraemon magnet with us.

Though it was the 1st time we met, me was very sure that she could recognise me easily by my distinguish trademarks : long ear-lobe and lao ah Beng feature. True enough, while walking towards her, she recognised me even before me introduced myself.

After exchanging the magnet, me and my cha-bo-lang left happily.

Tracy, thanks for your kind offer, really appreciate it.

lim peh kong wan liao

PS: Although we met at night, with the dim light from the lamp-post plus my 老花眼 ( presbyopia), me can still see that she is a sweet, pretty and feminine young girl.

PPS: Our meeting venue was outside a neighbourhood police station, guess she me felt safer that way la =_="""


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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Do You Have One Too?

(these 2 me also don´t have yet)

lim peh ka li kong

Recently, 7-Eleven started a Doraemon 小叮当 promotion: with every $5 of purchase, you will be given a magnet with Doraemon 小叮当 in 35 different countries.

Both my Little Rabbit girl 小白兔 and my cha-bo-lang 查某人 love Doraemon 小叮当 greatly, so much so that me have to patronise 7-Eleven everyday for at least $5 in order to bring a Doraemon 小叮当 magnet back.

The first night we saw the Promotion Signage in the store of 7-Eleven, my cha-bo-lang immediately declared that she MUST have the "Spain" Doraemon 小叮当 magnet.

Darn heng, lim peh only spent $30 on purchases and in 1 out of the 6 wrapped Doraemon 小叮当 magnets was the "Spain" Doraemon 小叮当.

Subsequently, lim peh like not much luck leh. Every time we purchased something and got the Doraemon 小叮当 magnets, sure got 1 or 2 repetition ones.

Last night, me went to 7-Eleven again and got 3 wrapped Doraemon 小叮当 magnets and guess what? @$%&@#€... all the 3 magnets we also have already.

Anybody out there also got the Doraemon 小叮当 magnets which you have extra-double, maybe we can exchange?

We have some extras to exchange, anyone also interested in exchanging?

Or maybe some nice guys/gals who got the Doraemon 小叮当 magnets when patronising 7-Eleven and don´t want to collect them and don´t mind giving them away, please leave me a comment.

However far (so long within the premise of Singapore), lim peh also can drive there to collect from you. *Red face Old Beng but no choice la, to please the females in my house, got to like that lor *

lim peh kong wan liao


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Saturday, March 24, 2007













2007 后语:



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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

10 Signs Of A Chio-Bu

lim peh ka li kong

Sometimes me walk walk see see, see so many pretty, swee chio-bu (girl girl) until my poor eyes so tired.

How can some girl girl be so pretty?

Lim peh present to you, "10 Signs Of A Chio-Bu"

1) No need cosmetics also very pretty liao.

2) Woke up face also makes you want to kiss her.

3) A plain T-shirt and a Bermuda is also "No Horse Run".

4) Normally can always get the first priority in long queues.

5) All heads turn to look at her. (Including females).

6) Always kena stopped in the street asking to join to work as Model/Actress/Singer.

7) Even her fart is fragrance to some.

8) Most of the time puts on a stern face and seldom smile to "push" away "Colour Wolves".

9) Always gets a large share of vegetables, fish, pork meat etc whenever she orders lunch.

10) No matter how she eats or what she eats, she is still very slim in figure. (Any how eat also won´t fat, lim peh don´t eat also fat.)

lim peh kong wan liao

P.S. If any of you out there knows any girl girl who fits into the above 10 pointers, please introduce hor.

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Monday, March 19, 2007

Transportation And Logistics Experts

lim peh ka li kong

Me salute them!

Forklift!?!?! What forklift?!?!?! Who needs a forklift!?!?!?!?

A new helmet

It's a pity I have to paddle with my legs, if not, I will carry a few more bottles

A moving tree?

Irresponsible mummy endangering her children´s safety

小朋友可不要学, 叔叔有练过的噢.

Look at this man, lim peh is speechless

Like that still can balance???

Really No Eyes See!!!

lim peh kong wan liao


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Thursday, March 15, 2007
















没游览过他的 blog? 快去,快去。


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She Will Be Back...Tonight

lim peh ka li kong

She will be back tonight.

Woo Hoo.....


lim peh kong wan liao

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Snail Time

lim peh ka li kong

A day is like a decade, no, in fact, it´s more like a Century to me.

Everything is like in slow motion.

Nothing is interesting at all.

Even my favourite 炒米粉面 does not arouse my appetite.


Just 1 more lonely night to endure.

1 more day to go......

lim peh kong wan liao

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Still Without You

lim peh ka li kong

This morning when me woke up....

There was no one there to try to out-run me to use the toilet.

There were no fingers poking into my nostrils to stop my snoring last night.

For more than 24 hours liao, I never hear a single nagging.

I do things my way, my choice, my decision.

I have 100% freedom, to eat, to do things, to just nuah around. (Such rare occasions and opportunities for a married man).


I am not a bit happy at all.

It is now that I know that I am 贱骨头 yearning for her nagging.

It is now that I understand the true meaning of "Taking things for granted".

It is now that I truly realise that my life is never complete without her around.

2 more days to go......

lim peh kong wan liao

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Monday, March 12, 2007

Without You

lim peh ka li kong

The minute she walked into the Departure Hall, I knew nothing will be good to me for the next few days.

I am so very right!


Today everything doesn´t seem right to me.

The food is tasteless.

The music from the radio is just un-tahanable noise.

Even the air sucks.

The bed will definitely be too BIG for me tonight.

I am very moody, hyper pushy and extremely restless.

It´s like PMS or an old man going through andropause.


3 days to go.......

lim peh kong wan liao

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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

An Incident 5

Siti slammed the Taxi door extremely hard to show the bloody Taxi Uncle her perturbness.

Already fed-up with the extra work which made her stay-back to do the month-end closing till so late and then kena a lousy Taxi uncle trying to be funny with her.

The uncle’s uncorth statements still lingered in her agitated mind:

“Wah, why pretty girl like you still got to work so late huh?...How your abang allows such a pretty girl like you to work so late?... Your eyes so big and beautiful and your hands so very smooth and tender, sure good to hold and … You have very good head-lights hor, so if you go Africa, the babies there sure won’t starve one lah since so much susu for them, he he he... Your lips so nice just like “Shu-qi”, so sexy and sure tempting all the guys to want to kiss you…”

In Siti’s mind, she was cursing hard at the Taxi driver, “@#$%&@, what has my beauty and assets got to do with you and who the hell is “Shu-qi”, you dirty old man.”

Finally, after a long 35 minutes ride in the hyper strong air-conditioned Taxi, she reached the main road of her flat at Hougang.

Siti required to walk a short distance of about 5 minutes from the main road to the block which was situated 6 blocks from the main road. She stayed with her mother in the flat as all her siblings were married and had already moved out.

The watch on her left wrist showed that it was already 11:58 pm. She usually reached home at 7.00 pm, at most 7.30 pm if there’s traffic jam but tonight…She had informed her mother about working late and she knew that her mother would not be sleeping until she saw her daughter reaching home safely.

Siti took out her pack of Marlboro and lighted a stick while she headed home. The wind tonight was really strong and she had to stand still and covered her lighter with her hands in order to successfully light her cigarette.

While she was tilting her head a little towards the lighter, through the corner of her eyes, she noticed a white shadow at the end of Block.

Siti felt her heart skipped a few beats as the white shadow was gliding slowly along the void deck towards her in total silence…

Ghost, Spirit, Hantu, were words that kept flooding her mind as the white shadow came nearer and nearer towards her.

5 meters away, 4 meters away, 3 meters away and still coming nearer and nearer...

She felt both her legs were rooted on the ground and she almost let out a scream had she not recognized the white shadow was none other than the lonely Indian old lady who had been feeding the stray cats every night routinely.

She laughed at her own wild imagination and continued to walk home.

She walked past the 1st Block and while walking towards the 2nd Block, she started to hear the sound of a woman’s crying, very softly, almost inaudible but due to the perfect quietness of the night, Siti could hear the sobbing rather clearly.

“woo…hoo…woo…woo…hoo…woo…” The cry sounded so pathetic as if the woman was trying to tell the world her sorrow.

Siti’s pretty face turned completely pale once again but she just kept walking towards her Block.

“woo…woO…hoo…WOO…” The cries turned louder and louder...

As Siti walked past the lift and behind the wall of the 2nd Block, stood 2 figures.

“OMG!!!” Siti almost screamed when she suddenly saw 2 figures standing behind the wall.

A young couple, standing motionlessly against the wall, was also startled by Siti’s sudden appearance.

The young girl was crying and the young man was trying to console her…

As Siti walked away from the troubled couple, she couldn’t stop thinking to herself, “Stupid girl lah, now kena already then cry, for what? You shouldn’t have agreed to him in the first place…”

Siti walked past the 3rd, 4th and 5th block without meeting any strange things, just that the temperature around her seemed to have dropped further and further...

“@#$%&@, it is freezing tonight. Can’t wait to get a good hot shower and sleep.”

As Siti walked towards the lift below her block, she looked up to her kitchen on the 5th storey (a habit she had over the years) and she saw her mother standing there looking down at her smiling, as usual.

Seeing that her mother was waiting for her made her smile too and a sense of warmness past through her body in the cold surrounding, knowing that your loved one was waiting for you to come home.

Just as she was walking into the void deck towards the lift, she sensed something strange around her. She couldn’t tell what was not right except the extremely unusual cold tempeartute and there seemed to be a sudden feeling of FEAR which was building up in her.

She looked around but saw no one, not a single soul at all but her intuition and sixth sense told her/ warned her that something was just not right...

“Fxck!!! I am almost home, don’t let me encounter anything strange. All I need is to get into the lift, press the number 5 button and get home safe and sound.”

Just as she was waiting for the lift, alone of course, she heard someone calling her name, “Siti, you are back at last.”

Siti almost screamed and when she turned around to the direction of the source of the sound, she saw her mother standing near the letter box waiting for her.

“Mother?!?! When did you come down and how can you come down so fast?”

“I have been waiting here for you for half an hour already.”


Siti had just seen her mother standing in their kitchen looking down at her just 5 seconds ago… so who was that in their house...

Siti was reluctant to go up to her own house...

Would you dare to go up if it is your house...?


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Thursday, March 01, 2007

CNY 鱼生捞-ing At Hiao Aunty's Place

lim peh ka li kong

Miss Hiao Aunty invited some of us to her house for a CNY “捞鱼生”, got free makan Old Beng me how can reject one?

According to her, there were supposed to be 8 of us (auspicious numbers) but then hor in the end only a handful can make it leh.

The 5 are the Hiao Aunty, Old Beng and Cha-bo-lang, Elydia and her Ah Dar.

According to the Hostess, she has just shifted there in January. The place is cosy and clean, very comfortable and airy. (Eh... actually only see the hall, she quickly closed her Bedroom door before any of us can peek into it.)

When me and cha-bo-lang reached her house at 2.05pm (5 minutes late because Old Beng me had to groom a little bit thus took a little bit longer time), Elydia and her Ah Dar were already there.

After wishing Hiao Aunty a Happy New Year with 2 Mandarin Oranges, me stepped into her hall and met Elydia and partner.

"Hello, Happy New Year," me extended my hand to Ah Dar,"You must be Mr Ah Dar." Me very smart one cos me got read Elydia's blog and know his name is Ah Dar.

"No la, his name is Peter." Elydia told me.

"Ah Phwee, Ah Dar is the nick only Elydia calls her partner la." Cha-bo-lang whispered into my ear.

"????" Me very confused leh. Me thought his name is Ah Dar as Elydia always addressed him so in her blog.

"Hi, you must be Old Beng." Peter shook my hand.

Wow!!! How come he know I am Old Beng? Me famous already la, me quickly take out my pen in case he wants my autograph, me heard Hiao Aunty asking him,"Peter, how do you know he is Old Beng?"

"Oh, it's very simple, see his super-duper long ear-lobe can tell liao."

Wa-piang, like that also can?

After chit-chating for a while, we started our 鱼生捞-ing, we are the New Generation (eh.. ok la, not me, me know me old fashioned), the young ones are the New Generation and we used forks instead of chopsticks to 捞 the 鱼生.

The 鱼生 very nice right? Thanks to Hiao Aunty for her kind contributions

5 persons, 5 forks, ready to 捞 the 鱼生.

* From left to right: Hiao Aunty, Cha-bo-lang, Old Beng, Ah Dar and Elydia.

On top of the 鱼生, we also had some "finger-food". I loved the "finger-food" as they were very tasty. ^^""" (Must say tasty if not dangerous sia).

Even though there were only 5 of us, me really enjoyed the 鱼生捞-ing gathering.

After eating, drinking, chit-chating and laughing, we finally had to say good-bye.

On our way out, we saw a cat sleeping outside Hiao Aunty's unit and Old Beng me started to communicate with it, using the cat language la.

"Meow...Meow.... Meow..." Old Beng trying very hard to converse with the cat but the cat just open its eyes, looked at me and went back to its nap.

Everybody was looking at me cos earlier during our chit-chating session, me was telling them about the meaning of the cats' language but apparantly, this cat just bo-chap me totally.

"Eh... eh... this one sure a boy boy cat so never want to talk to me, if the one is a girl girl cat, huh, she sure talk to me one." Old Beng me trying very hard to cover my malu-ness.

Everybody was trying very hard to suppress their smiles on their faces knowing that my cow-skin blow until picah already.

Me quickly grab-hold of my cha-bo-lang's hand and went into the lift, away from the malu site.

lim peh kong wan liao


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