lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

父子对话

令伯卡你讲

收到一则sms,和上次的同工异曲,只是这一回是父亲受气:

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父:你去买汽水。

子:是可乐还是雪碧?

父:可乐。

子:铁罐还是瓶装?

父:瓶装。

子:没糖还是普通?

父:普通。

子:五百克还是一升装?

父:你好烦!水就可以啦。

子:矿泉水还是过滤水?

父: 矿泉水。

子:冰的还是不冰的?

父:(生气)你再啰唆看我拿扫帚打你。

子:是拿塑料扫帚还是竹子的?

父:(恼怒)你简直和畜生一样。

子:像猪还是牛?

父:(气喘)我。。。我会被你。。。你气得吐血。。。

子:要拿痰壶还是扶你到厕所吐?

父:我被你气死了!

子:死了要火葬还是土葬?

父: @$%#&€@

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令伯讲完了
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Saturday, October 25, 2008

Penn And Teller

lim peh ka li kong

Relax, sit back, watch it and enjoy.

lim peh kong wan liao

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Friday, October 17, 2008

林子祥演唱会

我喜爱的香港歌手林子祥将会在2009年1月17日(星期六)来新加坡办演唱会。

票价: $148、$128、$98 以及 $68。

老明的 pattern 肯定只会买最便宜的票,行情坏嘛,老兄。

我的查某人一不喜欢听广东歌、二不喜欢
林子祥,所以应该不会想陪我去观赏。

有没有人也想去观看
林子祥的演唱会?

一起结伴,如何?

想知道多一点演唱会的资料,请点击这儿

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官方宣传文案如下:
凭着“小胡子”形象深入民心的香港艺人林子祥将与2009 年 1月17日假 The MAX Pavilion @ Singapore Expo首次在新加坡与交响乐团合作,带给大家熟悉的经典歌曲。

之前已在加拿大、香港及广州等和当地的管弦乐团合作,并且深受大家的一致好评。演唱会上,大家将能听到林子祥以他独特的风格呈献不一样的“男儿当自强”、“分分钟需要你”、“在水中央”、“真的汉子”、“每一个晚上”、“选择”、“成吉思汗”等歌曲。

『林子祥交响乐生命之曲演唱会』将会是一次激情又高雅的完美结合。喜欢阿 Lam 的朋友绝对不能错过他阔别狮城 6 年后的演出!


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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Brave Ah Pek

lim peh ka li kong

When lim peh was a very young boy, lim peh heard of this joke, share with you:

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A group of young boys were kicking football near a big lonkang (canal drain) and one of the boys fell into the dirty lonkang.

All the boys stood at the edge of the lonkang and started shouting for help.

Men, women, ah pek and ah ma, all crowd around but nobody dared to jump into the lonkang to save the poor boy as the current was quite strong.

Then, the reporters came and so did the TV crews, even the policemen and ambulance came BUT still nobody dared to take the risk to plunk into the drain.

Everybody crowd at the edge of the big lonkang.

SUDDENLY an old man jumped into the drain and swam with all his life towards the drowning boy.

Everybody cheered loudly at the brave Ah Pek.

Finally, the exhausted old man pulled the boy up to the bank of the big drain.

Immediately, the Ah Pek became the HERO!

One reporter asked the brave old man, "Ah Pek, Ah Pek, you are very brave! Can you share with us what gave you the courage to jump into the drain to save the poor boy?"

The Ah Pek replied, "他奶奶个熊,不知道谁推我下去。。。"

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lim peh kong wan liao
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Friday, October 10, 2008

May I borrow $25?

lim peh ka li kong

Received the following email from a friend, though many of you may have read it before:

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A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

DAD: "Yeah sure, what it is?"

SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.

SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: ' If you must know, I make $50 an hour."

SON: "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down. "Daddy, may I please borrow $25?"

The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money? After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often.

The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.

"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the man. "It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied. "Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love. If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

=====

lim peh kong wan liao
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Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Happy Birthday 2008

lim peh ka li kong

Today is my cha-bo-lang's birthday and I think I failed as her hubby cos I did not buy her any presents, no cake and also no flowers.

All I did last night, when the time past 12 midnight, was wishing her a happy birthday.

To my wife:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

From Lao Beng

lim peh kong wan liao

Note: Apart from my mum and my sister, Xorpheus sms-ed to wish my cha-bo-lang Happy Birthday, thanks dude.

Birthday Post 2007 and Birthday Post 2006
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