lim peh ka li kong 令伯卡你讲

Skill and style of telling stories is as per what you see - Singlish plus Hokkien dialects. Kam siah for coming into my BLOG and read, thank you! All content is copywrite "Old Beng" unless otherwise noted.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Kueh Lapis Delivery From A Good Friend

lim peh ka li kong

Wonder if you remembered my Malay friend Nizam who got married in Batam and both me and my cha-bo-lang took a ferry over there and celebrated his big day together?

Nizam is a Singaporean and his wife is an Indonesian. As such he travels to and fro between Singapore and Batam rather often.

The last 2 rounds we went to Batam, we came to know this Kueh Lapis suplier whose kuek lapis tastes very much better than any of the kueh lapis there.

Knowing that Nizam was coming back to Singapore to run some errands, lim peh quickly asked him to help me purchase some kueh lapis.

The best part was, Nizam actually came all the way to my office to delivery the 4 boxes of kueh lapis to lim peh (so nice of him!) To thank him for his kind gesture, lim peh gave him 2 of our old handphones (still functioning well one hor). Guess, Nizam will be coming back to Singapore again, maybe just before Chinese New Year. Will ask him to purchase some kueh lapis again then.

lim peh kong wan liao
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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Interesting Picture Captured (6) - Strong Will Plant

lim peh ka li kong

Sometimes, the strong will to survive is really beyond imagination. Plants are known to be able to grow at all sort of places, in all kind of conditions however difficult the environment may be.

lim peh saw something at my neighbour's gate the other day.

As the car porch which is extended from the front door to the gate is fully cemented, I was surprised to see what I saw.

The beautiful purple flower actually finds itself a place to grow - in the middle of the whole cemented ground.

When there's a will, there's a way.

lim peh kong wan liao
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Monday, December 21, 2009

15th Annivesary

lim peh ka li kong

Time really flies hor?

In a blink of eyes, lim peh have already married my cha-bo-lang for 15 long years. (2 x 7 years of itch + 1 additional year).

lim peh still remember we had our big day on the 16 December 1994. The day which I finally understood what happiness was. By then I have already lost it No la, just joking, you all think I so daring meh?

Last week, lim peh ordered a bouquet of flowers for my cha-bo-lang (can't remember when was the last time lim peh gave her flowers liao?)

She was very touched and teared all night upon receiving lim peh's flowers. (No la, all lim peh made up one la). She was smiling from ear to ear but somehow, I guessed she'll prefer if lim peh gave her the cash instead.

Anyway, already ordered liao, so bo-bian must accept la. With such rare incident of receiving flowers from lim peh, sure must snap a few shots.

That day happened to be 初一 so we went to China Town to have dineer at a Vegetarian Restaurant 八宝素食馆

Our 2 nephews Jia Hao and Jonathan went with us.

We ordered a few dishes and they tasted real nice.





lim peh kong wan liao
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Friday, December 18, 2009

Ah Gua Joke (RA)

lim peh ka li kong

In my post 45, point (42), I mentioned that lim peh was a naughty boy when I was young and this was quite true cos lim peh already knew many many jokes (RA) then.

Share one of my "dirty" joke with you:


There's a country whereby the Nation chooses its Ah-Gua every year.

To be an Ah Gua is not difficult but to be a Professional Ah Gua requires some "indepth" skills.

All Ah Gua wannabes have to take a test before getting their title of the Professional Ah Gua.


Ah Gua (A) went to take the test.

He was told to pull down his pants and underwear and to bend forward whereby the Teacher shoved something into his asshole and asked the following questions:

Q: Tell me what is shoved into your ass?
A: It's a soft drink bottle.

Q: Yes but you need to tell me which brand?
A: It's... it's a Coca-cola bottle.

Q: Yes! You passed! You are now a Professional Ah Gua.


Next came Ah Gua (B)

A long object was also shoved into his asshole.

Q: Tell me what is shoved into your ass?
B: It's a bamboo.

Q: Yes but you need to tell me from where the bamboo originated from?
B: It's... it's from India.

Q: Yes! Passed! You are now a Professional Ah Gua.


Ah Gua (C)

Again a ......

(shit! I forgot what you call it. It's green, it's a kind of vegetable. We eat it with rojak and also satay has it, as cool as a ...... knn, I forget what we call it.)

Sorry, will continue with the joke after I remember the name of it. (to be continued....)

lim peh kong buay wan
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Blogging Blogging

lim peh ka li kong

Have been writing in this blog for 4 over years and lim peh can sum up the following points:

1) The most du-lan thing in blogging is when some chia-bah-bo-sai-pang 吃饱没屎放的鸟人 impersonating you going around leaving stupid comments.

Someone told me it's really an honour if some idiot wants to impersonate you cos that shows you are somewhat "famous".

Eh, ladies and gentlemen, this type of honour lim peh bo ai la, to all the imposters out there, 凸凸 to you!

2) Another du-lan thing in blogging is when some lazy bums who refuse to write their own articles and start to highlight, right click, copy and paste your posts in their blogs and take them as their very own writings. Hello, plagiarism must not be encouraged.

If you really like an article written by someone, just make sure to acknowledge it in your blog la, a copycat plagiarist is totally unacceptable. 诸位,版权所有啊,嗯。

3) With the aid of statcounter, lim peh is able to see and track who and where my visitors are coming from. Many times, lim peh will repay a visit to their blogs when I see that they visited my blog but sometimes, lim peh got quite pek-chek because when lim peh tried to go into the visitors' blogs, they are only opened to invited guests only, duh! (Someone at a corner la; elephanthan la; and many many more). Though I can't access into your blog, lim peh still welcome you here.

4) Most of us know that the number of comments left in our blog is probably just the tip of the iceburg.

走的比逛的多,逛的比看的多,看的比留言的多。Yes, lim peh is referring to YOU, YOU, YOU and YOU! 就是你,你,你还有你。

Although we know writing blog is very personal, bloggers like us will definitely love to see more comments, at least for lim peh. So, do la hor?!

lim peh kong wan liao
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Friday, December 11, 2009

Gathering Once Again

lim peh ka li kong

We had a gathering cum talk-cock session on the 10th October 2009 when we went for the ASD Charity Event.

After a long month, we finally received the one and only photograph which was taken that night.

Don't need to @#$%& la, standard trademark for some of us. (Actually lim peh's facebook has the photo all without blanco-ed except my cha-bo-lang's face).

* click to enlarge to see the pimples on lim peh's humsup face *

It's been almost 2 months since our last "prata & teh" meeting up.

Hmmm.... lim peh wonder who was supposed to be the next person to arrange for our next gathering?

lim peh kong wan liao
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Monday, December 07, 2009


lim peh ka li kong

I will turn 45 on the 08th of December 2009.

45 random facts of lim peh: (You may wanna skip cos it's just too long winded)

1) I love to eat noodle more than rice.

2) I have given up lots of bad habits after I met my cha-bo-lang.

3) Despite my age, I am still ready to learn new stuff.

4) I can ride a motorbike even though I do not have the license for it.

5) I am a tea person and I will get stomach upset if I were to drink coffee.

6) I have plenty of DVD but mostly pirated ones (sssh...)

7) I read both English and Chinese novels.

8) Without proper breakfast, my mind can't function and I can't work.

9) My brother's name has the word Beng.

10) I got my driving license in just 1 take.

11) I am a degree holder but nothing that I have studied is relevant to my work.

12) I married my cha-bo-lang in 1994 (wa-kao, 15 long years liao, 2 x 7 itchy years).

13) I am not comfortable to let a lady foot the bill when we have meals together.

14) I love to write.

15) I don't like to exercise thus causing my cha-bo-lang to nag at me constantly.

16) Although I am old, I write blog, have a Facebook account as well as a Twitter account.

17) I have friends whom we have known one another for 39 years.

18) Who says first love can't last?

19) I am a chatty person.

20) I can't tahan the taste of Beer.

21) I still owe my cha-bo-lang a meal which I have promised to cook for her. (Akan datang).

22) I have a total of 11 nephews and nieces so far.

23) I started to have lots of white hair when I was in my 20s.

24) Put me in the library and I can spend my whole day there.

25) At 45, I am still making new friends.

26) I have watched more than 30 concerts so far and my favourites are the concerts by 陈百强, 林子祥 and Michael Jackson.

27) I love to play mahjong but yet I only play about 3 times a year.

28) I speak both fluent Hokkien and Cantonese but I don't know Malay.

29) I am a rather "neow" person in spending money but not on makan.

30) If I do not read, I will feel rather uncomfortable for that particular day.

31) I prefer slow sentimental songs to fast numbers.

32) Getting married does change my life a lot.

33) I tend to "slang" whenever I speak with Ang-mo.

34) I am afraid of the dark.

35) I am not good in managing my own money.

36) I just love to dig gold.

37) I always have dinner at home with my cha-bo-lang.

38) I do lots of things for the sake of my cha-bo-lang.

39) I have to wash my hair everyday, if not I cannot sleep in peace.

40) I am not good in recognising faces and remembering names.

41) I love fleshy girls than slim ones.

42) I was a naughty boy when I was young.

43) I can breakdance when I was much much younger.

44) I think I can sing rather well but the last time since I went to Karaoke was in 2005.

45) I quit smoking in just 1 day.

Kns, tiring man!

lim peh kong wan liao
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Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Scooby Doo?

lim peh ka li kong

My cha-bo-lang called me one day:

"Oei, Ah Pui, did you see the picture of a dog in the blog of Action for Singapore Dog?"

"No leh, me haben seen it, why?"

"You go and take a look, the dog looks like Scooby Doo."

"Huh?!?!?! True bo?"

And this is what lim peh saw.

How? Look alike bo?

One more photo lim peh like.

lim peh kong wan liao
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